in this small town.
I told them goodbye, knowing nothing good ever comes from small towns. Nothing...
* * * *
Moving to a secluded area with my dad was the last thing I ever wanted. I wanted to go to school with MY friends. I wanted to live in MY house, I wanted to end up as high school prom queen at MY prom... Nothing will ever be mine again. But most of all, I wanted to stay with my boyfriend, my Alex. MY everything...
My dad drives down a long, cold, road. It seems to go on forever. I’m not going to lie, I hate it here already, and nothing is going to change that,
“How ya doin’ love?” My dad asks, I give him a convincing smile as we make a left onto some street.
“Wow,” I begin, “Welcome to LakesBurgh, population, 2,000 people, shoot me in the throat..” I roll my eyes, little tiny stores pass, with small houses and a rare sight of any Lakes. Probably all sucked away by the humiliation the people who live here feel. I’ve been here a matter of two seconds, and I already feel like i should be burned and my ashes spread across a field somewhere. Either that or I just miss home, whatever.
“It’s just gonna take a little getting used to.” he sighs at my obvious hatred for this horrible town. It looks dead. Not a soul in sight.
The town is bombarded by trees, maybe that’s why it’s so dark here. We pull into a driveway, this must be his place. If only mom hadn’t passed, then maybe I wouldn’t be here. We would still be happy, happy..
just me and her.
My eyes water at the thought. My mom died of cancer, she struggled for months, and one day I just went in her bedroom and.. and she was gone. A part of me was gone that day, too. I wiped my eyes,
“Home sweet home,” my dad smiled. I sat still in the car, thinking what on god’s earth I did to deserve this. I should be watching the Soap’s drinking hot chocolate with my mom, not getting out of some crappy car to live with a man I’ve only met like 20 times in my life. He doesn’t know me, only my mom does. I’d do anything to get her back, anything.
I looked up at the house, ugh. whatever nothing special. It’s pretty, I guess, but that doesn’t even matter. Of course I have been here before, maybe once or twice, considering I’ve only seen my dad 20 times in my 16 years in this planet.
“Honey, help me with your bags.” So I get out the car, and retrieve some of my many things, he carries the rest up the couple stairs leading to the porch. I stop and stare at my surroundings, there are some houses next door and down the street, I wonder who lives there. I snap out of my trance, and follow my dad threw the front door.
“I’ll take this up to your room, look around if you like,” He smile, and I return the kind gesture, even though I wish to be screaming. But honestly I can’t be anything but thankful, he’s helping me, but where was he when I found my mom dead. He wasn’t there, was he? So who’s says I can’t be mad? I can, right?
The house still looks the same, it’s nice, for a man to live here by himself. It’s clean. The furniture looks a little girl-ish. But I guess now his “football buddies” can’t complain about the interior looking, lady like. I mean, after all, there is a lady in this household. Well, this should be fun. Oh, and the best part, I get to spend two years in a high school where I don’t know anyone, YAY!
My dad returns downstairs,
“Do you like it sweetie?”
“Of course dad, thank you for everything,” And for nothing, I think as I hug him. I am grateful, but this is the first time I’ve seen him since I was 13, where was he for three years? You can’t choose when you want to be a dad and when you don’t. He didn’t even know my mom had cancer until she died! It was like he wiped off the face of the earth, and he still hasn’t apologized for it. He never will, because he knows he’s wrong, and he doesn’t like admitting it.
“Well make yourself at home. What’s mine is yours, okay?”
“Thanks, father.” I give him a smile to let him know that I AM okay. I turn to walk upstairs and check out my room, but his hand falls upon mine before I go,
“I’m sorry about your mom, Millie, she was a great women, she’ll be in our hearts forever. If you ever want to talk, my bedroom is right downstairs, okay?”
“I know, thank you dad. I love you.”
“I love you too Amelia, now go rest up, it’s late.”I wave and tell him goodnight, he has a kind heart, he just needs to use it more. Wait, it’s late? Maybe that’s why it’s so dark out! I check my phone while I walk upstairs,
“Yikes, 10:15.” I say when I reach my bedroom door. Nausea tickles my stomach, oh gosh, I hope it’s pretty. The last thing I need is a room where I don’t feel safe. I slowly slide open the door. Eyes closed, I take my first step inside my new room. One, two, three. I open my eyes,
Oh. My. Gosh..
It’s amazing, it’s beautiful, it’s so pretty, colors dance around the room. The bed, IT’S HUGE. Black zebra-striped comforter, black & purple furniture, posters of my favorite bands, how did he know all of this?! I run downstairs and trample my father on the living room sofa.
“THANKS YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!” I kiss his check multiple times.
“Anything for my girl,” Tears well up in my eyes, that’s what Alex used to call me. One day he said, “You’re my girl, and I don’t ever wanna love another girl.” I wipe away the tears.
“Don’t cry sweetie, what’s the matter?”
“It was just so great, thank you dad!” I hug him again, like I haven’t seen him in years, because I haven’t.
“Don’t mention it sweetie, it’s the least I could do. Now rest up, school starts tomorrow.” my heart sinks,
“Oh, well alright, thank you, again, night dad.”
“Night, sweetheart.” I walk my depressed being upstairs and crash on the bed, school, I don’t know anyone! I think to myself, my life is going to be miserable. So much for prom queen next year, as if I’ll be popular, Everyone will hate me, I just know it.
I change into my PJ’s and lay down on my bed, all lights out I stare outside my window into the star filled night. It’s actually sort of pretty, I look down at the streets, some kid about my age is walking down them, he’s dressed in all black, I think he’s drunk. He’s dancing about, and now he’s singing. Maybe the kid’s here aren’t so bad. I hope the boys okay, then again, I don’t care that much. He enters the house next door great, my neighbors a drunk. The light in the window exactly across from mine goes on, I see his stumbling figure behind the white and blue curtains, then the light goes off. Even Greater.
I fall asleep thinking about my mom, thinking about Alex. Thinking about how small it is,
in this small town.