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A Soul to Guard

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A Soul to Guard
Summary: This is really something everyone should read.





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This book has 16 comments. Post your own!

mudnainah said...
Mar. 26, 2012 at 10:58 am:

I beleive you need to work on this peice and make it more readable. If you know what I mean :)

Good job tho' I didn't read the whole story

 
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SilverLuna said...
Feb. 9, 2012 at 5:40 pm:
You have a good writing foundation, that's something that is very evident in your work. However, your lack of originality is really unfortunate. I don't mean to be harsh, trust me, TI is a place that I love, but when I read your piece, from the first two pages alone, all I could think was "Twilight." I'm sure that was your inspiration, no? You have amped up the plots and drama of the entire thing, but it was hard of me ton be really drawn in when all I could do was draw comparisons. You write v... (more »)
 
BonitaG replied...
Feb. 9, 2012 at 8:57 pm :
Thank you so much for your constructive criticism. And what is funny, is that this book was meant to be fan-fiction and I actually wrote this my Freshman year of High School and only posted it a while ago. My new book "Something Blue" is definitely new writing style and I wrote it my Senior Year of High School, and it is currently getting edited so I hope to publish it. That book is definitely the most ME I think it will get for a while. Thanks for your constructivism.
 
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Cynthia14 said...
Dec. 17, 2011 at 2:25 pm:
This book was very good i loved it :) please continue its really good :)
 
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teenagedream said...
Sept. 24, 2011 at 12:25 pm:
NIce!!!! but i need more:):):)
 
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CresentShadowThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Aug. 29, 2011 at 6:14 pm:
I love it, I think you should continue it, and only reply when you post more. (: It should turn into a movie. 
 
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jellotinisjiggly24This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Aug. 19, 2011 at 6:20 pm:
wow this was amazing great job! Hey if anyone had time, could you please check out my story called the beast? It today it just got voted as the fourth best in the top novel. Thanks a bunch and keep writing everyone! :)(:
 
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JesseShannon75 said...
May 13, 2011 at 6:44 pm:
Very good book; kinda has a twilight feel to it..im keepin an eye out for more of your writing:) you need to write more:))
 
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BleedingTearsCryingBlood said...
May 1, 2011 at 7:43 pm:
I found it really confusing, I think it either needs a back story. Or if it is all a dream then make it seem more like a dream.
 
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Itz_Bobbi18 said...
Mar. 18, 2011 at 4:51 pm:

I really liked this book its amazing i honestly don't see anythin wrong with it  but i really really like it and hope you keep writing more (:

 

 
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KATastrophe said...
Mar. 18, 2011 at 6:27 am:

Chapter one is just a giant paragraph. Try indenting.

While reading, I noticed some parts seemed well akward. Mostly in your first few sentences. Re-read it outloud amd you may notice.

And if this was all a dream, I'd change your descriptions that are fully detailed. Because it's hard to think it was a dream when she can see everything on his face. Just my opinion.

I've only read the first chapter, and since you didn't give a summary of the book I don't know what I'm read... (more »)

 
Charly11d7 replied...
May 1, 2011 at 8:57 pm :
I saw the indenting thing too, and it happened in my book, Teen Ink undoes the indentations.. btw
 
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Ebonykitty said...
Mar. 2, 2011 at 10:38 pm:

I sure hope that wasn't the ending!

~Ebony~

 
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Timekeeper This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Feb. 2, 2011 at 5:49 am:
It's okay, a lot of the language feels forced and you brak from the narrative a lot to tell us about irrelevent details.
 
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HuntressEmma said...
Dec. 20, 2010 at 8:04 pm:
Okay very good so far; I'm finished Ch. 2, but is the main guy's name Jordan or Jasper? Or is it two different people?
 
bon-bon replied...
Dec. 21, 2010 at 5:35 pm :
two different people
 
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