Bad Habit

March 21, 2015
By Celestexoxo, Hamilton, Other
Celestexoxo, Hamilton, Other
0 articles 0 photos 1 comment

Summary:

This was a short story piece for my writing class!!! 

Getting everything handed to her causes Nicolette to miss out on the actual struggles throughtout her classmates. When her car breaks down, and none other than high schools bad boy, Julien come to her resucse Nicolette learns that to some, you have to work for what you want. Soon she finds herself thrown into his cruel world and wanting more of what he provides, even if she ends up loosing herself in the process. 


Celestexoxo

Bad Habit


Similar books


JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This book has 10 comments.


on Apr. 13 2015 at 1:26 am
emerald walton, Vero Beach, Florida
0 articles 0 photos 2 comments
I'll definitely read it

emerald said...
on Apr. 13 2015 at 1:25 am
I'll definitely read it

on Apr. 6 2015 at 6:23 am
Allen. PLATINUM, Palo Alto, California
32 articles 9 photos 525 comments

Favorite Quote:
[i]No matter how much people try to put you down or make you think other things about yourself, the only person you can trust about who you really are is you[/i] -Crusher-P

Chapter 4- I'm still getting a bit of emotional whiplash. I wish the emotions weren't so quick to change. Other than that, you've got a good plot. You just have to fix up the details.

on Apr. 6 2015 at 6:21 am
Allen. PLATINUM, Palo Alto, California
32 articles 9 photos 525 comments

Favorite Quote:
[i]No matter how much people try to put you down or make you think other things about yourself, the only person you can trust about who you really are is you[/i] -Crusher-P

Chapter 3- this is moving rather quickly to me. I think slowing down the pace would make this more realistic. Just a few hours prior to this chapter, she very much disliked Julien, and now she's in love with him. Of course, there are also the typical grammar errors here.

on Apr. 6 2015 at 6:18 am
Allen. PLATINUM, Palo Alto, California
32 articles 9 photos 525 comments

Favorite Quote:
[i]No matter how much people try to put you down or make you think other things about yourself, the only person you can trust about who you really are is you[/i] -Crusher-P

Chapter 2- I think this might be getting a little bit cliche in the sense that the main character gets into trouble with someone trying to sexually harass them and the love interest saves them.

on Apr. 6 2015 at 5:53 am
Allen. PLATINUM, Palo Alto, California
32 articles 9 photos 525 comments

Favorite Quote:
[i]No matter how much people try to put you down or make you think other things about yourself, the only person you can trust about who you really are is you[/i] -Crusher-P

Chapter 1- I think the reader needs a better image of Julien. All we know about him is that he's male, but we don't know anything else about his- or Nicolette's- appearance. Also, I think we could use more detail in general as opposed to dialogue.

on Apr. 6 2015 at 5:46 am
Allen. PLATINUM, Palo Alto, California
32 articles 9 photos 525 comments

Favorite Quote:
[i]No matter how much people try to put you down or make you think other things about yourself, the only person you can trust about who you really are is you[/i] -Crusher-P

Just from the prologue, my recommendation is to edit a bit more to fix the flow and grammatical errors. However, this does sound interesting.

HammadWaseem said...
on Apr. 4 2015 at 1:22 pm
HammadWaseem, Lahore, Other
0 articles 6 photos 287 comments

Favorite Quote:
Be proud of who you are.
-Eminem

You can't see me
-John Cena

Ooh, somebody stop me!
-Mask

Thats great! Good job! @Celestexoxo will you check and comment on mine? :) TeenInk.com/video/dancing/114206/The-Unbeatable-Breakdancer

Celestexoxo said...
on Apr. 3 2015 at 7:01 pm
Celestexoxo, Hamilton, Other
0 articles 0 photos 1 comment
Thank you! I think I will begin to make this a novel instead of a short story

on Apr. 3 2015 at 5:01 pm
emerald walton, Vero Beach, Florida
0 articles 0 photos 2 comments
I actually like your book and I think you should have continued




MacMillan Books

Aspiring Writer? Take Our Online Course!