I could hear the screams. I could feel the pain, that burning sensation going down my shoulder. I could hear myself crying. I looked up and saw my father standing over me. The knife in his hand was soaked red, which explained why I was losing energy by the second. More tears leaked out of my eyes and my sobbing became more voilent. I turned away and tried to crawl away. My father wasn't having it, though. He grabbed my hair roughly and threw me back down so he could finish his drawing. He rested his foot on the small of my back, his weight making me cry out in agony. The knife hurt, and I could feel his sick hands drawing the knife deeper and deeper. Twisting and twirling in the turns of the pattern he was creating on my back. I lost more blood and it started forming a puddle of red around my tiny body. I looked in the corner and saw my blood-stained white t-shirt that was tore up beyond repair. The pain in my body bacame more dull. Numbness finally settled into my body, relieving me of the god forsaken pain my father was tormenting me with. I, distantly, heard my name being called and felt myself being pulled towards the voice. The voice was soft, yet worried. The gentleness of the voice soothed me. My crying stopped and I let myself be pulled further and further towards to sweet voice. I opened my eyes and immediately saw Carsten's worried face looking at me like I grew two extra heads. I lifted my head up off the desk I was resting it on and tried to slow my breathing. I looked around and I noticed we were in my English classroom, completely empty. I looked back at Carsten. "What's going on, babe?" I asked, confusion settling in my mind. If we were in the English room, where was everyone else. Carsten chuckled. "You fell asleep during the English lecture Ms. Zimmermann was giving. Everyone else left, I assured Ms. Zimmermann I'd wake you up. Suprisingly, she's not mad," Carsten explained. "Oh," was all I said before I got out of my seat and grabbed my bag and books off the table. "Do we have to close the door, or is she coming back?" I asked, waiting for him to gather his things. "She'll be back. She told me she was just getting coffee so we don't need to lock it," Carsten said before wrapping his book-free arm around my waist and kissing my cheek, guiding me out of the room. "Where are we going?" I asked him as he led me in a completely different direction from my house. "My house, remember, babe?" He responded. "You agreed you'd stay with me." "Oh," was all I said back. It was silent as we walked and all I could think of was what kind of punishment I would recieve for not coming home tonight. I couldn't help but play scenarios in my head of my punishment. And I also couldn't help the fearful shudder ran threw my body at the thought. "Are you okay, Aiden?" Carsten asked, staring at me. "Yeah, just a little cold," I lied while nodding my head. I felt Carsten hesitate before pulling my closer to him, protectively. I knew Carsten didn't believe my lame excuse as soon as it left my lips but it was nice of him to at least pretend like he did. After five more minutes of walking, Carsten's house started to appear in out line of vison. It was a good thing because my body was already aching and screaming with abuse. We stepped up on the porch and Carsten opened the door while calling out to see if anyone else was there. When we recieved no response, we figured his mother, Sylvia, was out shopping. We were proved right when we walked into the kitchen and found a note taped to the refrigerator. The small, neat print said: Carsten, I went to go shopping for a little bit.I don't think I'll be back before you get out of school but I'll be back soon after. Make sure to text me before you go anywhere. Do your homework. I'll be home to make dinner. Love you. Xoxo, Mom Carsten sat the piece of paper on the counter before heading towards the refrigerator. "Do you want anything, baby? Are you hungery or thirsty?" He asked, turning his head to look at me. I shook my head no in response and he frowned. "Babe, why don't you eat? You're getting really skinny, even skinnier than before," he said, still staring at me. I sighed, I knew he was right. My body was little before but the past few months, the stress was getting to me and I kept forgetting to eat. "Okay," I said back, "I'll have whatever you're getting." He just smirked and turned back towards the food choices, no doubt searching for the most fattening food in there. I chuckled and went to sit on the counter while he continued his frantic search. Ten minutes later we were sitting on the couch together with mint chocolate chip ice cream, potato chips, two bags of skittles and a bag of chocolate chip cookies, flipping through tv channels. When nothing interesting seemed to appear I sighed and turned towards Carsten. "Lets watch a movie," I suggested. "Are you picking?" He asked with an eyebrow raised. I only nodded in response. "Okay, but hell will freeze over before I ever watch The Notebook again," he responded. I giggled and kissed him on the cheek before going over to the DVD cabniet. I knew I was going to want to watch a horror movie before I even opened the cabniet and started looking. I browsed through the wide selection of movies before coming back with The Rite. I quickly put it into the DVD player and walked back over to Carsten, throwing him the DVD case. He looked at it and raised and eyebrow as he read the title. He looked back at me and asked, "We're going for horror now?" "Yep," I said, while nodding my head. When the movie started I crawled closer to Carsten and he pulled me into his tight embrace. I wrapped my arms around his waist and buried my face in the crook of his neck before turning back to the movie. Everytime I jumped, he would pull me closer to his body. I ended up in his lap at the end of the movie. Carsten chuckled when I pouted as I realized the movie ended and I no longer had a reason to be burying myself in his warm embrace. I felt his grip tighten as I went to climb off him. "Stay," he whispered in my ear, his warm breath hitting my neck and I sighed and fell back into him. His lips conected themselves to my neck and made a trail up to the spot right behind my ear. "I love you," he whispered and he buried his face into my neck, pressing his lips to my skin softly. I smiled and turned around so I was straddling him and pressed my lips against his gently at first and he deepend it by running his tongue along my bottom lip, silently asking for entrance, which I was happy to grant him. He smiled into the kiss and grabbed my hips to pull me closer to him. I chuckled and pulled away. "I love you too but we're on your couch and your mom should be home any minute," I said as I pecked his lips one more time before climbing off of him and heading over to grab a bag Skittles. "Tease," he said playfully. I turned around and stuck my tongue out at him playfully. He laughed and got off the couch to walk over to me and held out his hand. "Care to share?" He asked, nodding towards the bag of Skittles. I narrowed my eyes and poured some Skittles into his hand while saying, "Only cause I love you." He laughed and poured the Skittles into his mouth. "Wanna taste the rainbow?" He asked when he swallowed the remaining Skittles down. I laughed and threw my arms around him and pulled him to me so my lips connected his his. He smiled and kissed me back, wrapping his arms around my waist. I sighed into the kiss. He was perfect. He was the only thing in my life that I wouldn't change at all. He was so gentle and funny and sweet. But there was more to it than that. He actually cared. He cared if I was unhappy. He cared if I was hurt. And he did everything in his power to make sure I was happy and healthy. I truly loved him. I could never deny that, nor did I want to. We pulled away when we heard the car door slam. His mom was home. I loved his mom too. She made me feel like I was part of the family. She was nothing but motherly to me and I loved that. It felt good to have a motherly figure to turn to when I needed something. And she was all too willing to fill that roll in my life. She knew my relationship with my parents was non existant. She didn't know of the abuse, of course. The only person who knew besides me and my parents was Carsten. "She's going to be happy to see you here," Carsten said to me. I looked up and smiled at him. The front door opened and his mother walked in with bags of groceries. She looked up and smiled widely when her eyes landed of me. "Aiden," squeled a figure behind her, who ran out and threw their arms around me. I looked down at the shorter figure and realized it was Carsten's little sister, Amorette. I chuckled and rand my fingers threw her soft, silky, light blonde hair. She looked up at me with her big, gray eyes and I smiled and said, "Hi, Amo." She giggled at the old nickname I gave her when I first met her, two months after Carsten and I started dating. I hugged her back and pulled away a few seconds later. She released me and bounced up and down while saying "I missed you! I haven't seen you in a long time! Are you staying for dinner?" I looked at Carsten quickly and then turned back to Amorette. "Yep," I relpied shortly with a smile. She did a little flutter-clap that she picked up from me and skipped into the kitchen. I laughed at her seven-year-old energy and turned to see Carsten's mom putting the bags on the floor and walking towards me to engulf me into a hug. I hugged her back and when we both pulled back, she held me at arms length as her eyes roamed over my body. "Boy, you are by far too skinny. You need to come over more so I can put some meat on those bones. How long has it been since you've last been here? Three weeks? Four?" She said as she released me. I chuckled and said, "Yeah, that sounds about right." She made a "tsk" sound and said, "Come over more. We all have missed you." I looked into her soft brown eyes and I knew she meant it. I smiled and nodded. I didn't know when Carsten wanted to tell his mom about the whole situation so I just waited for his lead. Sylvia turned towards her son and gestered toward the bags on the floor. "Sweetie, can you help me with these?" She asked, her high-pitched voice was soft and gentle. "Actually, mom," Carsten spoke up. "We have something to tell you," he said as he walked over to grab my hand, he gave me a comforting squeeze and I gave one back. "Oh?" was all his mother responded with. She stood there, waiting for us to speak up again. "Yeah, but we might want to take this into another room. Somewhere private," Carsten responded and started pulling me towards the hallway, Sylvia following every step of the way. I secretly was wishing that we could leave this all alone until after dinner. Give me some time to mentally prepare myself. I didn't want to do this now, it was completely humiliating. And I hated to talk about my father with anyone. The whole situation gave me the chills and I just wished it would all go away. I wished I could have normal, supportive parents. People I could be glad to call family. But, that wasn't the case. It would never be the case. When Carsten turned , we all ended up in his room. Carsten let my hand go to shut the door after his mother entered and locked it. After the lock was securely placed, Carsten walked over to me and said, "Show her." I looked down, totally embarrassed. This wan't going to be easy. What was she going to say? What was she going to do? What if she turned away in total disgust? A part of me knew Sylvia wouldn't do that to me but another part couldn't help but worry. What if she involved the police? Oh god, I would die. My father would come to kill me and I would die. I felt Carsten take my hand again and he out two fingers under my chin to make me look at him. When out eyes met, I was immediately filled with his love. "Go on, babe. You need to show her. She can help. We all can help. You need help and we all can make this all better. We can help you, I promise," his gentle voice filled my ears and I felt tears drown my eyes. I closed them as a few tears leaked out of my eyes. I nodded and opened my eyes and looked at Sylvia, her face was twisted with all the concern in the world. I sighed and turned to Carsten and said, "I need help with.." I stopped talking and just pointed to my shirt and looked back at Carsten. "It hurts too much to do it by myself," I finished. He nodded and stood in front of me. "Arms up," he ordered, grabbing the bottom of my t-shirt gently. I did as I was told and Carsten slowly pealed my t-shirt off me. He and I both looked down at my body and I flinched. I looked horrible. My pale skin was tained with angry, dark buises and scars. More tears flowed from my eyes and Carsten quickly brought his hand up to my cheek and kissed my tears away before saying, "It'll be okay, Aiden. It's all going to be okay. You're going to be okay. That bastard won't hurt you again." I nodded in response. His hand searched for mine and when he had a hold of my hand, he slowly stepped beside me to give his mother a view of my beaten body. There was a gasp and then silence. We stood in silence for a long time before I felt figures trace over my body. I opened my eyes and saw Sylvia staring intenly at the scaring and bruises. She looked up at me and looked near tears. "Aiden, how did this happen?" She asked calmly. I sighed and looked back down at my body. "My dad," I said slowly. That was all I needed to say , thank god. She got it and engulfed me in another hug. It was careful and gentle. I hugged her back and she pulled away a few moments later to wipe tears from her eyes. "Aiden, how long has this been going on?" Sylvia asked. I sighed and looked down at my body. "Too f*ing long," I whispered and squeezed my eyes shut to avoid more tears that threatened to leak out of my eyes. "This has been going on for a long time?" She asked me and I looked back into her comforting chocolate brown eyes. I nodded and let out a sob that was waiting in the back of my throat. I automatically felt Carsten's hand leave mine and his arms pull my body into his warm comfort. "Shush, baby, it'll be okay. I promise it's going to be okay," he whispered to me for what seemed like the hundreth time that day. "Why didn't you tell me?" Sylvia asked, bringing my attention back to her. Carsten pulled away from the protective embrace but kept his arm wrapped around my waist. "I was afraid people would be disgusted and think I was weak if they knew. I couldn't fight back and I was embarrassed," I admitted and added, "I was afraid the police would get involved." She sighed, walked over to me and kissed my forhead. "Sweetie, I wouldn't be disgusted with you or think you're weak in anyway. This is, by no means your fault," she said, pulling me in for a hug. "I'm not letting you go back there," she added. "That's what I was meaning to ask, mom, if he could stay here," Carsten said, standing beside me. Sylvia pulled away and looked at both of us before saying, "Of course he can." I sighed with relief. I knew Sylvia wouldn't just throw me out but I was still afraid of what her reaction might have been. It was the unknown that scared me but her saying I could stay made me feel way better. "We'll have to get his cloths from his house, though. Until then, can Aiden wear your cloths, sweetie?" Sylvia asked Carsten. Carsten nodded and toke my hand in his. Sylvia looked at us both before turning back to me with tears in her eyes before pulling me in for another hug. I let go of Carsten's hand and gladly returned the hug. "I'm so sorry, sweetie," Sylvia whispered into my ear and I could hear the tears in her voice. "Don't be, Syl. It's not your fault at all," I said, patting her back in a comforting motion. Then, there was a knock on the door followed by Amorette calling to see if we were in there. Carsten and I glanced at Sylvia and Sylvia responded with a yes, while going to unlock the door for Amorette. Amorette must have seen the tears in her mothers eyes or my tear stained face because he high little voice quickly asked, "What's wrong, mom?" Carsten and I looked at each other before turning to the females in the room. Watching, as Sylvia shook her head and assured her that everything was alright and that I would be staying her for a little while. Amorette turned to face me and smiled. I smiled back at her as her gray eyes lite up in exctiement. "Really?" she asked, a smile lighting up her pretty face. All three of us nodded our heads before Sylvia asked Amorette if she woud help her with dinner. Amorette accepted and soon, Carsten and I were alone once more. I went to shut the door when I heard Carsten behind me say, "See, that wasn't so bad, now was it?" I smiled and shook my head and turned around to face him. He was about five feet behind me and, when I turned, he quickly closed the distance between us and pressed his lips against mine. I smiled and kissed him back. When he pulled away, he stared into my eyes while running his knuckles along my cheekbone gently, being careful of the cut on the cut there. I reached up above my head and found the lock with my hand and locked the door. Carsten looked up at my hand and chuckled. Carsten looked back down at me and connected our lips once more. He grabbed my belt loop on my pants and pulled until our hips connnected with each other. I sighed and he smiled into the kiss. Our lips molded together and he pulled me closer, holding the back of my neck. I wrapped my arms around him and he lifted me off the ground so I could wrap my legs around his waist while he carried me across the room, neither of us breaking the kiss once. It was only until I felt the impact of being dropped that I realized he carried me over to the bed. I looked up and smiled shyly at Carsten before pulling on his belt buckle and whinning, "I want to be close to you." He chuckled again and soon obliged, crawling up beside me, pulling me into his arms. I sighed and gladly accepted the warmth and comfort his body was giving me. We gazed into each others eyes. He was giving me support and love with his gaze. I gazed back adoringly at him. He gave me and smile and pecked my lips. "I love you," he said, leaning his forehead against mine. "I love you too," I responded, closing my eyes. His warm breath was hitting my lips. I tilted my head so my lips pressed against his softly. His hand found my face, his thumb slid across my checkbone. "I want you," I whispered quietly against his lips. "I want you too but I don't want to hurt you either. I know you're strong but you need some time to feel better," he told me before kissing me and pulling me into his arms once more. I sighed against his chest and leaned into him. "Okay," I agreed. He put his index finger under my chin and tilted my head so I was now staring into his brilliant hazel orbs once more. He gazed back at me and said, "Soon, I promise." We smiled and kissed each other before I curled around him again and, slowly, drifted into a peaceful sleep.

When I opened my eyes, the first thing I noticed was the warmth that surrounded me. I looked up and saw Carsten's beautiful, sleeping face and felt his arms around me. I smiled as the thought of waking up to this every morning made its way into my head. I snuggled closer into the arms and then I figured out what woke me up. The gentle knock at the door was heard again followed by Sylvia's soft voice saying, "Carsten? Aiden?" I yawned and told her to hold on for a second before getting out of bed, while trying not to wake up Carsten. I did a mentle happy dance when I turned around and saw that he was still asleep and I had not distubed him. I walked towards the door and unlocked it and opened it to reveal a very happy looking Sylvia smiling widely at me. "Dinner's ready," she informed me. I immediately brightened up and asked what we were having. "Spaghetti," she answered and laughed when I did a flutter clap and told her we'd be there in a minute. She nodded and looked past me, her eyes landing on her sleeping son. "He really loves you, you know. He'd do anything to protect you," she said, looking back at me. I looked back at Carsten, he was sleeping on his back, the blanket was at his waist, showing the steady rise and fall of his chest with each breath he took. His lips were slightly parted and his face was relaxed. I looked back at to find that Sylvia was no longer in the door way. I closed the door and turned around to Carsten. I smiled, I didn't want to wake him up but I knew he'd be grumpy if he missed out on warm Spaghetti. I crawled back on the bed and started to shake him gently. He groaned and rolled onto his side, clearly not liking his nap being disrupted. I laughed and shook him again. "Get up, Carsten," I said, recieving a long yawn. I kissed the back of his neck and he turned around to look at me. I pecked his lips and told him to get up and that dinner was downstairs. "What'd Mama make?" he asked, changing his posture into a sitting position. "Spaghetti," I answered, standing and holding my hand out to help him. He toke it and stood but refused to let of of my hand. I smiled and pulled him towards the door. We both walked into the hallway and headed for the stairs. The sound of Amorette's laughter becoming louder as we walked down the stairs and to the kitchen. When we stood in the entryway of the kitchen, I saw Sylvia tickling her daughter in the middle of the kitchen. I smiled at the sight and leaned on the doorframe, watching quietly. Eventually, Sylvia stopped her attack and looked up to see both of us smiling. "Hey, are you guys hungry?" She asked me. I stood straight and walked into the kitchen to help Amorette carry the dishes into the dining room. "Yeah," both Carsten and I responded in unison, before picking up the plates and carrying them into the other room, leaving Amorette with the silver wear. "Carsten, you're making the guest set the table?" Sylvia asked, staring at her son incredulously. I laughed and turned to Carsten, saying, "Yeah, Carsten! You make guests set the table here?" Carsten and glarred playfully at me before taking the plates away from me. I laughed and took them back, seperating them in half, and gave Carsten back half. We looked at me with an amused look on his face. I smiled back before saying, "We should share." He shook his head and turned back to the table. "When's dad getting home?" Carsten asked, turning to Sylvia as she poured a spoon full of spaghetti onto his plate. "He should be here any minute, actually," Sylvia responded, filling the remaining plates on the table before taking a seat of her own. Amorette then proceeded to talk my ear off for the begining of dinner until we heard the door open and slam shut. I cringed from the angry sound and the room became queit. I slid deeper in the chair I had been sitting in. Though I've known him for a while, I still uncomfotable around Carsten's father. He was intimidating when he wanted to be and it seemed like he wanted to be everytime I was around. Carsten looked over at me, sensing my uncomfort. He looked at Sylvia questioningly and she just nodded. I watched Carsten stand up and began to panic before he gently took my hand in his, pulling me from my chair, and lead me into the hallway. I sighed in relief when we started walking up the stairs. Carsten looked at me with a worried expression but continued to guide me to his room. When we got there, I closed and went to lock the door when I heard Carsten asked me, sounding quite confused, "What are you doing?" I looked at him and back at my hand that was resting on the lock. I shook my head and removed my hand before running over to him, laying on the bed. I shivered from the lack of warmth and Carsten chuckled, wrapping his arms around me. We stayed where we were, not moving or talking, just listening to each other breathe. I heard Carsten sigh and looked up to meet his hazel eyes staring back at me. "Aiden," he started quietly, "I don't want you to be afraid of my dad. You know he wouldn't hurt you right?" I looked at Carsten for a long time, his gaze piercing mine the whole time. "Of course," I lied, "I know he wouldn't, I'm not scared of him." Carsten sighed and pulled me into a hug, whispering, "I know you are, you don't need to lie to me." I shook my head and got off the bed, Carsten looked at me with confusion clear on his face and he had a little hurt hidden in his eyes. The look in his eyes made me hesitate before saying, "I'm going to the bathroom, I'll be right back, okay?" Carsten nodded and I quickly exited the room, wanting nothing more than silence. I didn't want to talk about what scared me, I didn't want to face that anymore. I just wanted to pretend my father never existed, I wanted to forget my abusive homelife. I wanted to forget about everything. And Carsten trying to talk to me about my fears was not helping any. I knew he was just trying to help but I didn't want that help right now. I wanted to act like a normal teenager for once. I jumped when I heard a loud crash coming from downstairs. Slowly, I turned and started walking towards the stairs, cursing myself mentally with every step I took. I've learned all my life to not go towards loud, scary noises but I wanted to show Carsten and myself that I wasn't scared, so, slowly, I forced myself to walk, one foot after another, to go down the stairs. "I want to kill him! I want to rip his throat out with my hands!" I heard a deep voice come from the kitchen. I cringed at the words I'd heard many times over the years and walked towards the kitchen, against my better judgement. My head was screaming for me to turn around, to run as fast as I could, to not look back. My legs ignored everything, though, and kept walking down the stairs. I dreaded reaching the bottom of the staircase. My mind was racing and my breath was quickening. My chest felt like it was burning and my eyes held tears that I refused to let go. When my foot landed at the bottom of the staircase I took a deep, shakey breath and turned toward the kitchen. I closed my eyes and started walking, metally cursing myself for my stupidity. The hallway was short but it seemed like it went on for eternity. The fear was choking me and I couldn't breath at all. I sqeezed my eyes tighter together and grit my teeth. My hand went up by my side and began tracing random patterns into the wall at my side. I stopped when my hand met the door frame and gripped it tightly. Slowly, while still holding my breath, I pealed my eyes open and immediately wished I hadn't. Glass was on the floor, along with blood. I let my breath go in the form of a sob and closed my eyes again, only to open them once more as visions of memories filled the darkness of my sight. I looked up and saw Carstens dad and Sylvia looking at me worriedly. I looked down at the other mans hand and found the source of the blood that was on the floor. My breath came into my lungs as a gasp, my throat closed and I fought the urge to fall to my knees. The room blurred around me and started spining. I focused my eyes back to the blood as I felt tears forming in my eyes. My breath came in short, quick gasps and I held my breath to hold back the vomit that threatened to leave my body. I soon found myself in another room completely, my living room. I looked around the room and my saw a long, dark, coffee brown, L-shaped couch in the corner of the room with a glass coffee table in front of it, on top of a white and black rug. The flooring was wood and there tas a wood bookshelf attached to the wall behind the couch. I looked up and saw a tall, dark figure standing behind the bar in the kitchen that was attached to the living room. I looked closer and recognized the features I was all too familiar with. My father was holding a beer bottle and screaming at me, though I couldn't hear him. His mouth was moving fast and his expression was terrifying. Slowly, his voice started becoming more and more clear, starting out as a fast murmur and building on from there. It took me a minute to understand the words he was screaming. "You f*ed up!" He screamed at me. "You always do! That's all you'll ever do! You can't do anything else, you're worthless!" I stood there, silent and confused, as I watched him as he explode once again. He was angry, I knew that much. The reason, however, I was clueless about. I had no idea what he was talking about or what I did to make him so angry but I wasn't about to interupt him while he was practically seething. I knew better than that and I knew, very well, how that would end. I knew how this would end anyways. There was never a time where I was not hurt after him yelling at me. "What, are you mute now? Can't say anything back? Are you just going to sit there and stare at me all day, boy?" My father growled, leaving his place from the kitchen to walk towards me. My mother was standing behind him, staring at me with absolute disgust. I opened my mouth but no sound escaped, it was then that I realized that I had been holding my breath during my fathers rant. "I'm sorry," I said, though it came out more as a whisper. "I'm sorry," I said again, still no knowing what I was apologizing for but my mouth seemed to have a mind of its own. My father just shook his head and laughed bitterly. "You're the most pathetic excuse for a human being I've ever seen in my life!" He screamed and threw the bottle he had been holding on the ground. I cringed and stepped back, making sure I didn't get hit by the shards of broken glass that bounced of the floor and threatened to hit my barefeet. I heard footsteps coming towards me and, before I could look back up at my father, I felt a sharp, burning pain on the side of my left leg. I opened my mouth and screamed while falling to my knees. My eye lids squeezed themselves together from the burning pain that refused to go away. My mouth was still open When I managed to pry my eyelids apart, I saw my father standing over me, hatred was burning in his eyes. I looked down and immediately realized what had caused the pain. I felt tears swimming in my eyes as I stared at the shard of glass that was sticking out my leg. I let the tears leak out of my eyes and looked back up at my father. "You want to be a faggot? That's how I'll treat you, you worthless, good for nothing faggot," he growled, his eyes not once leaving my own. I squeezed my eyes shut tightly and gritted my teeth together, trying to forget about the pain, still making itself clear at my leg. I heard my father move and, when I opened my eyes back up again, he was no where in the room. I wasn't in my living room anymore, I was back in Carsten's kitchen. His mother and father were now on their knees, in front of me, and I had just realized that they were calling my name. My hands were holding the sides of my head, my fingers tangling themselves in my hair. I tried to bring them to my sides but all I ended up doing was pulling my hair. I squeezed my eyes shut again and lowered my head down to the ground, letting the darkness calm me down so I could try to get my breathing back to normal. Without warning, I felt a hand on my shoulder. I jumped and my body reacted automatically, shrinking away from the contact. "Aiden, are you okay?" a deep voice asked and I cringed away from the male and let out a sob. "Go get Carsten," I heard Sylvia say in a worried tone. The hand that was resting on my shoulder was gone and I didn't feel so crowded anymore. "Aiden," I heard Sylvia's voice fill my ears as she tried to get my attention. "Can you calm down for me? Let go of your hair, sweetie. Just calm down, no one is going to hurt you here, I promise." My breathing was still unstable, half of the reason being that I was still sobbing, and I tried to slow it down to a normal pace but it turned out to be a challenge. My quick breaths were still coming to me and I was panicking. I scrambled back into the corner of the kitchen, brought my legs to my chest and encircled my arms around my legs, burying my head into my arms. I felt a hand on my shoulder again and jumped but I didn't try to get it off of me. "Aiden, can you tell me what's wrong?" Sylvia asked, her voice was calm but I could tell she was hiding her alarm. I let out a quiet sob and shook my head rapidly. I could hardly breathe right, how the hell was I supposed to speak? I squeezed myself further into the corner, trying to make myself as small as possible. I wanted to disappear, I wanted to escape reality for a little while, if only for a minute. I didn't want to be here, I didn't want these memories to keep haunting my head all the time. I wanted to be able to close my eyes and not have my fathers face be the first thing I saw. I knew my sobbing wasn't going to change that but I couldn't stop them from escaping my lips. I couldn't make myself be quiet. I had no control over my breathing or crying. It's like I was back in the memory and I couldn't calm myself down or make myself move. I could just sit there and hope for things that could never happen. "Oh God, what happened to him?" Carsten's voice snapped me out of my thoughts. I wanted to look up, to tell him everything was okay, but I couldn't, my body wouldn't allow it. Plus, it wouldn't have been very convincing anyway, due to the tears running down my pale face. Sylvia's hand was removed from my shoulder and replaced my a new one. This hand was just as gentle a Sylvia's though, just adding the slight amount of pressure so I knew there was someone near me but not enough of feel uncomfortable. "Aiden," a soft voice, that I immediately recognized as Carsten's, whispered. I opened my eyes and, shakily, brought up my head so that my blue eyes locked with Carsten's hazel ones. Carsten's other hand went up to my check and he rubbed his thumb across my tear-marked face, wiping away the fresh tears. "Hey, it's okay, just breathe. Slow easy breaths," Carsten said quickly, noticing my condition and I tried my hardest to obey. I brought my breath in deep and exhaled it with a shakey breath. "Look at me, focus on my face and breathe. Just look at me," Carsten encouraged. I did as I was told and stared at Carsten's face, my eyes roaming over his sharp, beautiful features, his long, straight nose, his well-defined jawline. Finally, my eyes locked with his deep, intense, hazel orbs. I breathed in and out, slower now. Looking at him made it easier. I no longer had the memory in my head, no, it was all Carsten. "Are you okay now?" Carsten asked. I nodded and Carsten pulled me into a hug. I fell into the embrace and we staying like that for a while. I was tired, my brain and body were both exhasted. I wanted to go to sleep and forget everything that was bothering me. I wanted to forget my dad and my mom and my life back at my own house. I wanted to forget that when I actually did go home that my dad would probably do something horrible and painful to me for being outside the house and not telling him. I wanted to forget that people besides me and my parents knew about my own personal hell. I never wanted anyone to know about my home life. Outside was the only life I had that I could be a normal teenager and I didn't want anyone to figure out how broken and pathetic my homelife was. When Carsten pulled away, it was to look me in the eyes once more. He stared at me for a long time and I stared back, satisfied that he wasn't talking. I didn't want to talk, I didn't want anyone to ask about what just happened. I didn't want anyone thinking I was crazy, though, they were probably all thinking that by now. "Aiden, what happened?" Carsten asked, his eyes not once leaving mine. I looked to the floor, feeling completely embarrassed. I raised my arm hastily and wiped my eyes with the back of my hand, removing the evidence of my meltdown. "I remembered," I whispered so quietly I could hardly hear my own voice. Carsten's hand slid down my face and gripped my chin, he tilted my head up so that my gaze connected with his once more. Confusion was obvious in his face and I could tell that a simple "I remembered" wasn't enough for him. "Tell me about it," was all he responded with and he didn't remove his hand from my chin. I looked around and noticed Carsten's parents standing quietly in the door way. They were both looking at me with intense stares. Sylvia had a very worried look on her face and Carsten's dad had an angry look on his. My eyes widened at the heat behind the mans eyes. I couldn't look away, I felt trapped and all I could do was stare back. Carsten tugged my face to the side, rescueing my from my inprisonment. "Aiden, tell me about what you rememebered, please," Carsten begged, his eyes shinning with worry. I inhaled deeply and held my breath, dragging my gaze down to the floor. There was still blood and glass from earlier but Carsten's body was blocking most of it. I opened my mouth but no sound came out. I was frozen in my fear. I didn't want Carsten or his family to think I was crazy or that I had mental issues. I had no doubt that that's what it seemed like to them. I would think I was crazy to if I saw someone cry and collapse on the floor over broken glass and some blood. "I'm sorry," I whispered, not knowing what else to say. How could I possibly explain what happened when I didn't even know what happened? "Sorry for what, dear?" Carsten's mom spoke up. I looked up at her and her husband. The other man no longer had an angry look on his face, now he had a confused, worried look on his face. I looked down at the ground again, not being able to speak to any of them directly now. I couldn't look them in the eyes and see the worry that was held there. It made me feel guilty. "I'm sorry I cried over that. It was stupid, I'm sorry," I said slowly, still staring at the ground. "Honey, there is no reason to apologize, we just want to make sure you're okay," Sylvia responded. I looked up at her and saw that she was sincere. I didn't want to worry her anymore. I didn't want her to have to feel like I was fragile or broken. I didn't want any of them to feel like they had to walk on eggshells while I was around them. I looked back down to the floor. "I'm fine," I lied. The honest truth was I was no where near fine. I was broken, torn. I was fragile and weak. I didn't want to be but that was the way it was. I looked up and began to stand. When I got back to my feet, I was still up against the corner. Carsten stood up along with me, his eyes never left mine. "Are you sure?" Carsten asked, eyeing my closely. I nodded and he narrowed his eyes but moved when I tried to step past him. "I'm going to go to bed. I'm really tired," I said to Carsten and his parents. Sylvia and her husband were still looking at me worriedly but Slyvia nodded her head. I turned away quickly and flew up the stairs, desperate to get out of the room full of questioning looks. I walked quickly down the hall and stopped when I got to Carsten's door, hearing a quiet whimper come from down the hall. Slowly, I turned towards the sound and walked down the hall. I stopped when I got to Amorette's room. Raising my hand, I gently knocked on the door. The whimpering stopped and I heard Amorette's little voice call out, "Yes?" I took a hold on the doorknob and twisted it so I could push the door open. When the door was open, I found that the room was dark, the only light in Amorette's room was from the moon shining through her window. The little whimper filled my ears again and I turned my eyes towards Amorette's bed. I found her tiny figure sitting up in her bed. Slowly, I walked over to Amorette's bed and sat down beside her. "What's wrong, Amo?" I asked, giving her my full attention, completely forgetting the breakdown I had just had downstairs. "I saw monsters," she whispered, fear had taken a hold over her voice. I wrapped my arms around her and shushed her. "It's going to bed okay, I'm right here. I won't let them hurt you," I promised. She wrapped her little arms around my waist and hugged me back tightly, burying her face in my chest. "Have you ever seen a monster before?" Amorette asked me after a minute of silence. I looked down at her and found her staring back at me. I looked at her for a moment and nodded. "Yeah, I have," I told her. She looked at me closely and said, "They're scary, aren't they?" I looked at her, she was so innocent. I thought about the memory I had of my father stabbing me with glass. I remembered that day, it was the day I told my parents I was gay. It was a day I would never forget in my life. "Yeah, they are, Amo," I said, still thinking about the pain my father put me through that day. Amorette brought her hand up to my face and started moving my hair away from new wounds I had from my last fight with my father. "Did they hurt you?" Amorette asked me. I looked down at her and smiled, not giving an answer. "Are they going to hurt me?" She asked, her voice sounded more afraid. I looked at her a moment before speaking and I finally said, "I'd never let them hurt you Amo." She looked up at me and smiled. "And I won't let them hurt you again," she promised. I looked down at her and smiled. She was so innocent, I was going to make sure to keep her safe, even if something happened with Carsten and I, I would always protect Amorette. Slowly, I leaned down and kissed her forehead. "Go to sleep, okay?" I said, pushing her blonde hair out of her eyes. She stood up on the bed and quickly threw her arms around my neck. I hugged her back tightly and started running my fingers through her hair. "Thank you, Aiden," Amorette said, not removing her arms from my neck. "Anytime, Amo," I said back and picked her up to lay her back on her bed. I pulled the comforter up to her neck and tucked her in, sitting on the bed next to her. "Will you stay here with me?" Amorette asked as she reached for my hand. I took hers gently in mine, smiled down at her as I let my other hand slide through her hair again and I said, "I'll be here until you fall asleep." She smiled up at me and closed her eyes. I watched as she fell asleep, her face taking on a peaceful expression. I wished I was her at that moment, I wanted to go to a time where the only monsters I had to worry about were the ones under my bed. I wanted my innocence back, I wanted my childhood back. I wasn't going to let anyone hurt Amorette. Whatever happened, I was going to make sure that Amorette didn't lose her innocence like I did. I watched as Amorette breathed in and out slowly, I wasn't looking forward to going to sleep that night. I had no doubt that nightmares would be awaiting me in dreamland. I didn't want to fall asleep. I realized that Amorette was stronger than I was, she could face her monsters, yet, all I was doing was running away from my own.

"Are you ready for this?" I turned to face Carsten and shrugged. It was Monday and we had just gotten out of school. Carsten's mom picked us up and we were on our way to my house to get my stuff. I wore Carsten's cloths over the weekend. They were big on my body; but manageable. I wore the cloths I had worn on Friday to school, Sylvia washed them for me. I wasn't looking forward to going to my house at all. I had to though, I wanted my stuff back. Even though, Carsten's cloths were comfortable, it would be great if I could walk around and not have to worry about the pants I'm wearing falling off my body. I turned away from Carsten and looked back out the window. I didn't want to go back to my house; but we needed to get my stuff. I had no idea what my father was going to do when I stepped into my house, if he was even there. I knew he most likely wanted to strangle me right now. Carsten and Sylvia had decided they didn't want me to go in there alone and were going to go in with me. I was grateful; but I didn't want to put them in that position. I looked back at Carsten and found him staring at me, waiting for an answer. "Honestly?" Carsten nodded and I shook my head. "No, I'm not. I'm scared out of my mind and I have a sneaking suspision that he wants to kill me right now. I'm not ready; but I need to do this anyway so I can get my stuff." Carsten nodded and took my hand. "I'm here with you. I won't let him hurt you, I promise." I nodded and turned back to the window, wanting to just get this over with and go back home with Carsten. We were almost there and I held my breath as we pulled up in front of my house. My house was not what you'd think it would look like. It was actually a very nice house. My parents, though heartless and cold, were not stupid. They knew how to hide something if they wanted to. I was the perfect example of that. The first time my father hit me was when I was seven-years-old. I had drawn on the walls in my playroom with my crayons and my father wasn't too pleased by my pretty little picture. He started yelling and I started to cry. "Stop crying," he said and his hand connected with my face, the force made me fall backwards onto the floor. I had put my hand up to my stinging cheek and more tears started leaking out of my eyes. My father looked at me once more with an angry expression and left the playroom, slamming the door shut. I stayed on the floor, curled up and cried. Believe it or not, my family was not always broken. When I was really little, we were happy. My mother didn't hate me with everything she had and my father wasn't violent. Then, one day, that all changed. We became torn apart. The woman I used to call "mommy" turned into my bully and the man I used to call "daddy" turned into a monster. I used to wonder what happened to us, I could never understand why things changed to drastically in such a short amount of time. I gave up on trying to figure out what happened and just told myself that it was my fault that my family wasn't a family anymore. It was all me, all my fault. And eventually, I started to believe it. "Aiden?" I turned towards the person who called my name and found Sylvia looking at me with a worried expression on her face. "Are you okay?" I realized I was holding my breath and exhaled. I nodded and got out of the car. Carsten and Slyvia wasted no time following me and I slowly walked onto the porch, pulling out my house key and unlocking the door. I didn't open the door, though. I was afraid, to say the least. Carsten took my hand and opened the door for me. I walked in and found my mother in the kitchen cleaning the dishes. She started yelling the second she saw me. "There you are! Where the fuck have you been? Do you know what your father-" she stopped screaming when Carsten and Sylvia walked in behind me. She looked at Carsten and Slyvia and glared at me. "What's going on?" Sylvia stepped around me and walked over to the bar that seperated the kitchen and the living room. Sylvia glared at my mother and my mother moved her hateful look form me to Sylvia. "How could you?" Sylvia finally spoke up, her voice was not at all friendly. My mother put the plate she was washing in the sink and turned to face Sylvia, crossing her arms over her chest. "Excuse me?" "How could you do that to him," Sylvia said, pointing at me. "He's your child! How could you let that happen to your own child?" My mother glared at me and turned her attention back to Sylvia, saying, "I have no idea what you're talking about." "Oh no? Do I need to show you his scars? Do I need to show you his bruises?" My mothers eyes widened in surprise and she looked at me with complete and total shock. I looked at the ground, avoiding her gaze. "Do you know what I'm talking about now?" Sylvia asked, making my mother turn her attention back to her. "I think this is a misunderstanding," my mother lied quickly. She knew very well that there was no misunderstanding going on here. "No," I whispered and three heads turned to look at me. I looked back up and met my mothers eyes. She looked shocked and soon, her shocked expression turned into and angry one. "Excuse me?" "No, mother. You know perfectly well that there is no fucking misunderstanding going on here!" I shouted, my growing anger getting the best of me. I was surprised, my mother, for once, was speechless. About time she shut her fucking mouth. Sylvia looked from me to my mother. "I'm taking him, he's going to be living with us for now on. Where is your husband?" Sylvia asked, bringing my mother out of her shock and making her turn her gaze away from me. "At work, he's not supposed to be back until later this evening," my mother answered, still in obvious shock. Sylvia nodded at her and turned to look at Carsten and I, sofening her gaze and supplying a small smile. "Aiden, go pack your things. Carsten, go help him please. It would be best if we don't stay long." Carsten and I nodded and turned to the stair case that led to the second floor. "You can't do this, he's my son!" My mother shouted in anger. I stopped walking and turned back to her. "Since when?" I asked. My mother and Sylvia turned to look back at me and I felt Carsten grab my hand and pull, urging me to go upstairs. I refused and released my hand, not taking my gaze away from my mothers. "Since when was I your son and not a pain? Since when was I more than a pest that got in your way? Huh? Since when?" I screamed to question in anger and frustration. I was tired of her games and the whole "poor me" act. I've had enough. "You haven't treated me like a son in ten years! You ignored me and the only time you actually talked to me was to either complain about me or to tell me I deserved to get beat by that man you call your f*ing husband! I'm done with you, I've been done for a long time. You want to call yourself my mother? You should have acted like one! I don't have a mother, she died ten years ago." I stormed up the stairs before my mother could say anything back to me. I heard footsteps following me and turned to see Carsten walking behind me. I stopped and waited for him to catch up. A second later, he was by my side, reaching for me to pull me into a hug. I gladly accepted his embrace and we stayed like that for a while. I let the tears that threatened to leak out of my eyes go. Carsten pulled away to look me in the eyes. He swiped a tear away and kissed my forehead. "You are so strong," he whispered, looking me in the eyes again. I nodded and gave him a sad smile. "Welcome to my dysfunctional family," I joked, letting out a small laugh. Carsten chuckled and shook his head. I took his hand in mine and pulled, leading him towards my bedroom. I opened the door and froze. I gave a strangled cry, looking around my room. Everything was ruined. It looked like a tornado hit my room. My matress was off my bed and on the other side of the room. My dressers were tipped over. All my posters were torn off my wall, ripped to pieces and thrown on the floor. All my cloths were ripped out of my closet and thrown around the room. There were holes in the walls. My whole room was destroyed. I backed up and ran into Carsten. "Jesus Christ," He said, holding me close to him by my arms. I nodded and his hands tightened around my arms a little more. I wiggled out of his grip and started walking towards the stairs. "Aiden, wait!" Carsten said, catching me by my wrist and made me stop and turn around to look at him. "Don't do something stupid." "Carsten, let go of me now," I said and pulled my wrist away, walking towards the staircase again. I rushed down the stairs and stood at the bottom. I saw Sylvia talking to my mother but I was too mad to listen to what she was saying. "You bitch!" I screamed, making them both jump and turn to look at me in complete and utter shock. "How could you let him do that? My room in trashed! Do you guys really hate me that much to do this bullshit?" "Aiden, what are you talking about?" Sylvia asked as my mothers shocked expression changed to a confused one. "Have you seen my f*ing room? It's completely ruined!" "What? No, I haven't been in your room," my mother said quickly. I rolled my eyes and glared at her. "Well then, let me tell you, your husband is a really swell f*ing guy." "Aiden, let's just go and pack the stuff that isn't ruined," I heard Carsten say, grabbing my hand in his. "I hate you. I f*ing hate both of you," I said to my mother before I let Carsten pull me back up the stairs again. I allowed Carsten to drag me back to my room. We both walked in, trying to avoid everything that was on the floor, though it was really hard to do. I picked up the cloths that were on the floor while Carsten got the matress placed on the bed again. I turned to watch him go from the bed to the floor and help me pick some cloths up. "Thank you," I said, causing him to look up at me. "For this. For everything." He smiled at me, "I wouldn't want to be anywhere else." I laughed at the obvious lie and we remained silent while we packed my stuff up. We turned towards the door when we heard a knock and saw Sylvia and my mother at the door. Sylvia had her hand over her mouth and her eyes were wide. My mother was glaring, not at me though, at my room. She looked around the whole room and dropped her gaze to the floor with a guilty expression on her face. If I wasn't so mad at her, I would've smiled at the fact that she was feeling guilty. I wanted her to feel guilty, I wanted her to feel terrible. I wanted both of them to feel terrible. I couldn't count the number of times were I wished they'd finally see what they were doing and feel so guilty that they rid this planet of them both. Sometimes I'd even wish I could watch my father die, watch the life fade out of his eyes and having him gone forever, not having to be afraid of him, or any man in general. That's one thing I could never forgive my father for, I was always afraid, except when I was with Carsten or Sylvia. I couldn't trust anyone else, I learned you can't trust people the hard way. "Oh my god," Sylvia breathed, taking her hand from her mouth and looking around my room. It wasn't as trashed as it was before but it was still pretty bad. The dresser was still thrown over, papers were still all over the floor, along with trash that belonged in my, now broken, trashcan. We had yet to clean my closet too. I looked around the room and looked back at Sylvia when I couldn't look at it anymore. She turned her eyes towards me with obvious pity in them. I forced myself not to get mad. I told myself it was Sylvia and she couldn't help but pity me, it was in her nature. "We're getting you out of here now," Sylvia said and walked over to help us pack. We had most of my cloths packed and I went into my bathroom to get things from in there. My bathroom wasn't destroyed, thank god. I quickly packed everything in there that I needed and walked back into my room to help pack the rest of my stuff from in there. Soon, we had two suitcases and one overnight bag packed. We walked out of my room and brought the luggage downstairs. I glared at my mother when she offered to help and she backed off immediately. As I was walking out the door, I saw her sad expression and I almost felt bad for her. Her son, and only child, hated her, her husband only kept her around to clean and f, she had no brothers or sister, her parents were dead and her friends were all assholes and bitches. Who wouldn't feel sorry for her? I remembered the last ten years, though, and my soft expression immediately hardened and I put my harsh glare back on my face. "Tell your husband to not even think about coming to get him or we'll get the authoridies involved. Aiden asked me to keep them out of this but I will not allow him to be brought back to this house again," Sylvia told my mother as followed me passed my mother and out of the house. I went out to put the bags in the back of the van and felt a hand on my back. I jumped and turned to see Sylvia, looking at me with a kind smile on her face. Soon after, her smile faded and she looked at me with worried eyes. "Do you want to say good bye?" I shook my head and gave her a sad smile. "No, she doesn't deserve it." Sylvia wrapped her arms around me and hugged me tight. I sank into her embrace and wrapped my arms around her waist. "Thank you," I said. She pulled back to look at me. "For helping me," I clarified. She smiled and hugged me again. "It's no problem, sweetie, I hate that you went through that. No one should have to go through that," she whispered, keeping me close to her. I nodded my head and pulled away, giving her a small smile. She smiled back, went to the drivers door and climbed in the van. I felt arms wrap around my waist and turned my bed to see Carsten burying his face in my shoulder. I turned around completely, making him lift his head up, and wrapped my arms around his neck, breathing in his scent. "Thank you," I said once again, resting my head on his shoulder. I felt him laugh silently and rub the back of my neck. "You already said that. I would do anything for you, don't worry about this, kay? Let's just get you home. We can order pizza, watch a movie and cuddle," Carsten said, hugging me tighter and then releasing me from his grip. "I'd like that," I said, pulling myself out of the comforting embrace. He smiled at me and I smiled back, grabbing his hand and pulling him towards the van. We both crawled in the van and I looked the door. Carsten gave me a weird look and I waved off his confusion. Sylvia turned around to look at both of us before speaking. "Everything ready?" Me and Carsten nodded our heads and I leaned back in my seat, close to Carsten, and closed my eyes for the short car ride. I felt Carsten's hot breath at my ear and heard him whisper, "It's all going to be okay now. I promise, it's over." Somewhere, deep in my gut, I knew I shouldn't have believed him. He couldn't promise me something he had no control over, I didn't even have any control over it. It would be over when my father wanted it to be over and no sooner or later. I smiled and nodded my head anyway, pretending I believed him and thought everything was really going to be okay with me. I didn't though. I was a good actor but I knew it was just that, an act. I knew this wasn't going to be the end of all of this. My father didn't know when to quit and it wasn't going to be that easy to get rid of him. Somehow, I just knew that it was far from over.