She was so happy and excited to finally do something with her life, she couldn't wait. A smile was plastered on her face all day, mixed in with the great vibes that no one else could decipher, it was the most important day of her life, But coming down to her name being called to the podium, everyone cheered, except her family because they weren't there. She looked frantically around for her parents, but through the crowd of people she couldn't see them, but she knew they weren't there. Her frown on stage turned into a smile to hide away her feelings, as she walked off the stage quickly with her head hanging low. As she took her seat her eyes were set on the upcoming graduates, but her mind was focused on her anger, anger for her parents, anger for her loneliness. She was searching for amelia, she wanted a hand to hold, she wanted to someone to feel her pain, but everyone around was cheering, so why didn't she? She thought,
“ They have had to be here don't they,” I thought.
“ Maybe I just can't see them, but they are here aren't they” I tried convincing myself, but it was no use the doubt overcame me as I tried to stay as positive. 2 hours in the announcer was done calling off names and it was time to go, so I waited for ameillia at the door for a ride home. I searched for 5 minutes sifting through the crowd of people for the true family, but nobody was coming to rescue me, at least not my family. We all piled in the black SUV at 5 pm to head home for a day's rest, her mom was driving us since her dad was preparing a meal at home for her graduation. The entire car ride they laughed and engaged while I sat in the back with my head hanging low, but eventually ameillia said
“ Are you okay? You seem gloomy” As she turned around from the front seat to glare at me.
“ I'm fine” looking away, “ Congratulations on the diploma. I'm proud of you” I said with a half smile
“ You to sis, you're amazing and you deserve that diploma!” She cheerfully rubbed my arm and turned back around.
I wanted to tell her how  I felt, but I knew this wasn't the time, and I wasn't ready to play the blame game quite yet. I had faith in them, I had trust in them, but it's not unusual for them to shun me, to them it's business as usual. She had been dropped off and waved to ameillia and her mom as she entered her house with sadness. She didn't bother going upstairs to her empty room so she turned on the heat and went into the kitchen to find a snack. She was terrified at what she had been looking at, did her parents just forget about her graduation? Had they honestly not realized what their mistake was? She sat there in her finished, granite kitchen, infused with a brown fluorescent chandelier that revealed her true feelings. The wooden chair that was pulled far from the polished wooden table, she was alone. As she stared at the green markered note left on the table for her, tears rolled down her face, none of her family had remembered her high school graduation. She felt unwanted, unworthy, as the rain began to the sound felt like a drum on her heart, the beat made her sense of happiness fall, she now sobbed in the midst of her beautiful house. She cried and wept until her tears couldn't satisfy the worth of the house, nor the cost. She trudged over to the stainless glass sliding door that opened into the Patio in the back, with a swinging couch that overlooked other houses through fences and trees, they looked so uplifting. She sat down in hopes to swing her emotions away, she just wanted to be left alone, since everyone didn't care enough for her presence. She begins to argue with herself as the rain intensifies,
“ They had business, they had to go you can't be mad at them”
She talks in a soft voice, “Yes I can, this was my day, I only get one graduation and they had forgotten one my most important days”
“ They care about you and you know that just let it go”
“ I can't just LET IT GO, they are always on business-” Her voice begins to sound agitated and irritated
“ Just deal with it, if you were them you would want them to understand”
She's pacing back and forth on the porch making hand gestures at every word.
“ No it's not that simple”, her voice rises, “ I've been being a good little girl while they are barely home, I've been raising myself, they are always at their jobs, yes we have money, but money can't buy my love” she says with anger.
“ But Crystal they are your parents you should--”
“ Shut up conscience! Stop being so logical for one second and think, I've been neglected roughly my whole life by people accept ameillia, I've never been too close to any teacher, and now my own family doesn't have a couple hours to spare for one of my most important days!”, a hole has been created in her heart, something she will never remember to try and fill until someone fills it for her.

I stepped back inside the sliding glass door into the granite kitchen, head hanging low and heart sobbing. Nobody was home, my so called loving “ Parents” were away at business and they are kinda all I have, no one else really talks to me, except ameillia. She has been my best friend since a young age, I've told her all of my feelings, all of my crushes, she's like my sister. We are exactly the same person basically, thank god she's close to me to. A lot of people from school live in our development, so it's cool that she lives so close to me, actually, she's in walking distance. I decided that I can't comprehend this alone, so I go to my “ Sister” for advice, and she's them, unlike my parents. I solemnly walk over to the stainless glass wooden door and swing it open with force, I had to take my anger out on something. I didn't lock the door because I knew I would be coming back, plus nobody in this development steals, even though I'm known for my wealth I can still trust them. I glide down the concrete walkway for about 10 minutes until I arrive at the brick house which is guarded by the tall oak tree which towers over her house. I look both ways before crossing the wide 2-way street making sure not to get hit by any cars, but I'm positive everyone around here knows how to drive, and they also have nice cars as well. I walk with a quickness across the street up to her driveway into her solid brown door and ring the door 3 times. I hear a “ Coming”, from someone that I suspect is ameillia, then I hear the lock on the door unlatch and the door flings open when I am greeted with a big smile.
“ Hey May!” She's the only one to call me may( Because of my last name) and I don't mind it, for the most part, I just tell her not to wear it out. Did I mention we are the same age?
“ Hey ameillia, do you have a minute to talk?” I say as I look at her with a serious look, and she glares back and solemnly says, “Okay” indicating for me to step into the house and up to the protection of her room. Ameillia has olive skin with perfectly straight teeth, don't ask me how she gets them like that. She has beautiful straight black hair with and artsy style just like mine, so we have been judged our whole life just because of our style. We tread up the carpeted stairs into her average sized room, consisting of one closet and one queen sized bed, her room had a lot of space to be filled. She has a brown dressing with paint splattered on the wall behind it, which some of the paint was on the lamp and her books. She had paintings plastered across two of the walls, and supplies underneath of her bed, she was loaded. We were getting ready to sit down when she heard someone pull into the driveway, she said: “ it's probably just my mom” and when she went downstairs and to our surprise it was the mailman. To my surprise, it was for me, but I didn't know why, but I knew it must have been important if it was sent to Amelia's house instead of mine. We walked down the driveway to the mailbox and I was handed the envelope, in eagerness I was expecting a college invitation, but at the site of the message I was shocked. I came here to talk to Ameillia about my parents, but instead I get a letter in the mail explaining they won't be back for another month. I dropped the letter and ran back into her house covering my face up crying, crying because the people that raised me aren't around to ever support me. In spite of sadness I didn't have to explain myself because ameillia already knew. She ran in after me and gave me a big hug and told me that she will always be here for me, so that calmed me down and made me feel wanted, a way my parents never made me feel. 

Sadness had reigned over the air, the melancholy smell filled our lungs as smiles drew across our faces, we felt safe in each other's arms. Ameillia and Crystal decided to go to an aerobics class on Saturday to ease up the tension throughout last week. With her parents still not home she could go places without their consent, plus it wasn't like they were drinking or anything. It was a warm spring day with a light breeze, all was well with mother nature. Crystal was stressed and needed something to relax, so thank god ameillia was there to comfort her in her times of need. The two left from amelia's house in different colored leggings and workout shirts that fit their bodies comfortably. Ameillia's mom was pleasantly waiting in the wooden kitchen waiting for the girls to come downstairs, so when they entered the kitchen she greeted them with a smile and walked to the car smoothly.

“ Your mom is so friendly,” Crystal said while watching her mother leave the room
“ So is your mom, especially your her cooking! It’s to die for”,ameillia said with excitement thinking about crystals mom's macaroni.
“ Yeah, but at least your mom’s around to make you home cooked meals,” Crystal says while trudging towards the door in sadness. Amellia doesn't add to the conversation, instead, walks after crystal to her mom's minivan. The teel van with a leather exterior is a car her mom has had for years, she calls it pearl. They all load in and stroll to the class about 10 minutes away from their house, which was relatively close. Down the street a gym called Workout Central which was open 24/7 was their everyday hangout on the weekends, it allowed them to let go of their surroundings and allow them to exercise their problems away. As the mother drove the two up the street crystal looks down underneath of the leather chair was a book with ameillia's name on it. I was curious, so I reached for it, but ameillia shooed me away from it and gave me a look that told me, “ I'll tell you later” so without a peep I obeyed her orders and pretended the book wasn't in my grasp. I looked out the window in curiosity of what that book could hold, I'm that kind of person that needs to know what everything is, so as was imagined I was anise to find out what secrets were held inside. We finally arrived at the gym for aerobics, since we needed a good break, but when we got there we saw a paper outside that read: “The aerobics class has been canceled due to business”. We looked sadly at the poster but quickly headed back to ameillia's house to talk some more about the book. We hopped out the car and her mom said
“ Sorry you girls couldn't do aerobics, you can do some upstairs if you want,” She said with a smile”.
“ Actually that's a great idea, thanks, mom! Love you!”
“ Love you to ameillia, and I haven't forgotten about you crystal”, She said with a wink
I made a heart with my hands and headed upstairs with a half smile. We went upstairs and decided to clean up ameillia's room so we could stretch and get ready for Pilates to start it off, but I couldn't keep my focus, so amel noticed.
“ You alright may? Something bothering you?” She said with a concerned face
“ Naw, besides that book of yours that I can't get off my mind” I glance at her with a smile, “ Nothing else” With a sarcastic tone. She stopped stretching and got on her knees
“ Okay you must promise me before I show you the book there is something I have been meaning to give you, but I wanted to make sure we we are ride or die friends,” she said with smile
“ Of course we are,” I said, “ Ride or die, I'm here for you sis,” I say nudging her arm smiling fully for the first time in 3 days.
“ Okay, then lemme show you something” As she pulls something from underneath of her bed. She digs under her bed for 5 minutes and pulls out a wooden box with a lock and a key on attached to the box. She took off the key and unlocked the secretive box, which what was inside made tears flow down my face, something that made me squeeze her hand tightly. Something that made me never regret becoming friends with such an amazing person that valued our friendship. Inside were diamond bracelets that engraved in them stated, “ Ride or Die, For the rest of our lives”. I put hers on her arm, and she put mine around my arm. We both sobbed while hugging each other in a sunny afternoon. These tears weren't sadness as the salty water drips into my mouth, I feel her body against mine, we weep for each other's suffering and pain, we weep because we knew without each other their would be no sanity.

We sat there in silence, holding each other while thinking about all the memories, reflecting on our lives going into college year. I drifted off someplace else and thought of my parents, were they going to send me to Northwestern after all? I don't have a lot of money, so I can't determine where I go off to college. My parents have never abused me physically, never hurt me, never have hated me, but they also never tell me they love me. Ameillia says it all the time to me and so does her mom, every time I see her in school we talk then when ameillia leaves she says “ Love you sis” with a big smile, why can't my parents tell me that. I sat here leaning on ameillia in this deep thought we a heartbroken expression, and ameillia must have noticed.
“ Hey may, are you okay” just as she looked at me, she smiled, “ Wow that rhymed way to well” as a slight clever smirk came upon her face.
“ Yeah I'm okay” as I wipe away tears still dripping from my watery eyes, “ you always know how to make a dull situation better with your corny jokes, there,” I say half smiling in my comeback.
“ Well ya know, there's always that one person who can turn your tears upside down. Thank god that person isn't me” she says laughing a little at her own jokes that she thought was funny. I laugh along with her trying to get mind away from my parents as best as possible, I figured I mine as well not ruin the mood and let her savory laugh fill my mind with happy thoughts. After about an hour of sitting and talking occasionally, the sun was setting and I decided to head to see if my parents had arrived. It had been almost a week since their “business” trip to god only knows where, but I really didn't care since they didn't show their care for me anyways. I wave goodbye and tell ameillia and her mom that I love them dearly. I head out the door and down the paved driveway onto the wide street where cars no longer roamed, then stealthy hopped onto the concrete sidewalk to head home. I never realized how beautiful my neighborhood was, trees trimmed line alongside the sidewalk as luxury cars poke out of each driveway like bees in pollen. It never caught my attention of how big these houses actually were, how much money these people had, and how successful their story is, so why don't I feel satisfied? My parents are rich, I get what I want, our stories are no different, but unlike these people, my happiness isn't revealed; I never bother to show it. I walk for about 5 minutes admiring the finished complex when all of a sudden a white 2013 Lexus with tinted windows rolls up next to me. At first, my intention was to run, but this car looked offely familiar, so I stood there and waited for the window to roll down.
“ Hello, who is this-”, but before I could even finish that sentence the window rolled down and in there was my so called father, sitting in his new car with his brown shades set on his eyes, smirking at me.
“ Miss me baby girl?” he says while putting a cigar in his mouth. Zane maybodi, a typical white man white the facial features of Paul Walker and the personality of Shrek. He sat there in his black and white suit admiring my blue shorts and how tall I have gotten. I stood there in awe, and not a good awe. So many questions raced through my mind, but none exited my mouth. I didn't give him the chance to say anything else, I didn't want to see him right now.
“ Wheres mom?” I asked with boredness in my voice
“ She's still away, but she told me to come back to watch over the house.” he responded. I think I was pretty capable of taking care of myself, but my parents insist I'm still 12 with no life skills whatsoever.
“ Okay, I'm gonna walk back home since it's getting late outside,” I said trying to end the conversation.
He looked at me with a crooked look, “ Why don't you just hop in my you'll get their twice as fast, plus you don't have to walk.” he insisted while putting his elbow on his rolled down window ledge.
“ No I'll just walk” I replied trying not to show my annoyance, “ I'll meet you there shortly, I need the exercise.” as I walk off silently towards the house. He nods his head in agreeance and speeds off to the house leavin tire marks on the road, I hate that guy. Yes he has money and he is my biological father, but he vanished for almost 2 weeks! I’m pretty sure I have a reason to be infuriated right about now. It took me a couple more minutes than usual to make my way back home, maybe because I was in such deep thought. I arrived at my destination quarter to 7, my dad's white lexus what parked in the garage out of site, and the lights were on in the kitchen. I opened the door to my father greeting me as if I was coming back from “ Vacation”.
“ Why hello there stranger, how are you?” He said pleasantly like a tourist
I glanced at him with a blank expression, “ I'm fine, thanks for asking, anyways I have stuff to attend to, but welcome back”. I brush past him up the long flight of stairs into my room, he looks after me as I walk with no sound up the stairs looking questionably at me as I enter my room. I was feeling some type of way, a way I couldn't explain. My father had just shown up basically at my front door step and pretend likes he's been a loving father for years. I flop on my bed stressed, torn, and melancholy, but I glance down at my wrist and I see the bracelet that was given to me by ameillia yesterday labeled, “ Ride or Die”. As I stared at my bracelet a sense of motivation came into my mind, and so I started having a self conversation to explain those ideas internally.
“ So crystal, are you gonna play along with your parents puppet act, or are you gonna be an artist?” my conscience said aloud.
“ I want to be an artist, but I can't my parents hold the key to my path at the moment”
“ Your parents haven't been in your life since you decided to take responsibility, they haven't shown you much love and you're still relying on them”.
“ What choice do I have? They have all the money and they have already shown me the acceptance letter to northwestern, this is out of my hands at the moment.
“ As far as I'm concerned I hear you ending your fight?” the return question pierced my heart like a thousands knives.
“ Well no, but my parents-”
“ When have you started caring about what your parents say? Your parents aren't you, you make your own path, nobody became recognized by relying on somebody else” my conscience told me as the bitter truth was being processed.
“ If you want to be a coward, then act like a coward, breath like a coward, walk like a coward, but if you want to paint your way through this problem then pick up your brush and paint crystal!”
I returned, “ I can't paint without any color, I can't design art with no canvas” As I drop my head. Silence had fallen over my room suddenly and I start to feel the doubt re-entering my system.
“ May?” My conscience talked
“ Yes?”
“ Look at your bracelet again” I checked it and the words poked out to me more then usual.
My conscience gave one last effort, “ Are you gonna ride your parents train? Are you gonna let them take you through college hell simply because you're staying for the ride?” my conscience paused. At this point I was standing pacing around my room as if I was giving a speech.
“ Or are you Crystal maybodi going to let your negativity die so your creativity and prosper? Are you, a beautiful lady with a creative heart going to let your parents watch your dreams die, while they take you on a ride where you look back and regret ever paying the cargo fee?” my conscience darned me. I thought for a moment and looked up with a new beginning and a new purposes.
“ Your right! I will not sit here and watch my destiny get taken away from me, I refuse to stand here and not do anything about my future, who do my parents think they are?” I proclaimed, and I didn't care if my dad heard me I was free, free my mental bondage, free from my parents mental hold on me, I had freedom. I pulled out a medium sized canvas, got out my colors and started to paint, I didn't know what I was painting, but I was painting something. Just halfway through my dad came bursting into my room.
“ Hey honey, Im headed to bed, if you need anything just let me know,” He said rubbing his eyes. I looked outside and I had forgotten all about the time, It was 10pm.
“ Thank you, Goodnight.” I said as I continue to draw and erase. He then leaves my room down the hall to his bedroom and turns off the light indicating his slumber.
Under my breath as he left I said, “ I could really use an actual father”.

I later realized that I had fallen asleep at my desk with my night light on all night. It was Saturday, 11 am and I had slept next to the one thing that could love me at that moment, my artwork. I slowly picked my head up and rubbed my eyes, awakening to the sad rainy day. My father had walked into my room with jeans and a polo on looking like he was ready to go golfing.
“ Rise and shine crystal, got a minute?” he said pleasantly.
“ Yeah, just gimme one sec to wake up” as I said turning to him and rubbing my eyes some more.
“ I just got a call from Northwestern, they want you to come on Monday so you can start to move into your dorm, you got accepted. My heart dropped, suddenly I was awake and alert, those forsake words of “ you got accepted” threw me off.
“ Really? They accept me? That's cool, except I'm not really into business dad". I started to complaining.
“ Sure ya are, your just like your mother. Smart, beautiful and good with numbers, anyways you've got two days to get prepared, good luck kiddo” he says with the biggest grin I've ever seen on his face. I wish I could slap it off of him. He walked out of my door like he just found the yellow brick road to the wizard of oz, he was so giddy it made me question. Something came into my remembrance at that moment, something I knew was wrong but had to be done. I secretly applied for NYU without my father's consent, but I never heard anything back from them, so I brushed it off and assumed they had rejected my invitation. He was never around to care about my education, so I took matters into my own hands. Frustrated and outraged I slowly peeked out my door like a detective and walked over to my father's door in hope of maybe finding other college letters. That was another thing, I applied for many scholarships even though my family is rich, and I would assume get more than just business notification letters since that is all my father seems to give me. I see other students getting piles of college notification letters from all different types of schools besides business, but that thought never hit me until his giddy smile crossed his face. I slide past the entrance of my door into his room where he remains tidying up his bed and cleaning his floor, but he doesn't see me until he opens up his bottom draw and then he spots me, so he quickly closes the draw.
“ Hey Crystal, everything okay?” he looks at me with suspicion.
“ Yeah, everything is alright, just coming in to say-” I pause in panic, “ “Look at my new bracelet ameillia gave to me while you were away.
“ Aw that's very sweet of her, she's always shown you so much love,” I said with a grin
“ Yeah, she's one of the only ones who have, home plate,” I said quickly under my breath. “ So where are you headed now?” I said controlling the subject
“ off to get the mail, if the phone rings please don't answer it because it's some very important business, but I'll only take a couple of minutes anyways” As he opened up the drawer I spotted a letter in there, but I couldn't tell because he closed it so quickly, he made me think he was hiding something, and we both knew he was. He slid past me down the stairs and I pretended to go back to my room, but as soon as I glared at him leaving the door I bolted for his room, and carefully opened the drawer, I only had a couple of minutes before he spotted me. The drawer seemed to be sort of stuck, so I had to open and close it a couple times before it slid open all the way. I could hear his footsteps approaching the door, every second my heart beat faster as I rifled through the drawer trying to find any sign of hope, but it was becoming useless. When I was just about to give up I shoved a couple shirts over to my surprise reveal a letter with a golden medal like sticker on the front, I didn't have time to read it because I had run out of time. I grabbed it and shut the dresser drawer not caring about the sound, and peeped down the stairs. He was coming in and his back was turned towards the stairs trying to lock the door, so I made a break for it across the wooden floor and slid right onto my bed like I was sliding into home plate for the game-winning run, finally my suspicion had gotten me somewhere. Thankfully he had gone into the kitchen to read his mail while drinking his morning coffee, so I had time to read this. I had caught my breath and on the front read “ Scholarship to NYU for Crystal Maybodi” in big bolded letters, I could not believe my eyes, I had really been accepted. I kept on reading more, a 4-year scholarship in art and humanities, they want me to contact them as soon as I receive this letter, but when was this issued? I was infuriated and relieved, something that I had never seen before. I sat on my bed when my dad came in and caught me off guard, so I jumped a little when he said,
“ Hey Crystal, I'm back, whatcha reading?” he said with curiosity in his voice.
“ Um, nothing, nothing of importance to you I assume” flashing the acceptance letter in his face with anger. He stood in the door with his mouth dropped in disbelief.
“ Um, crystal, where'd you get that from?” he said trembling at the site of his daughter's discovery.
“ From your dresser dad, where else! What were you doing with is?!” Now I was half yelling and more frustrated then I have ever been.
“ Now may, I can explain..” he said inching towards me with his calming voice of reasoning.
“ I don't need your explanation! And don't call me may, people can only call me that when they have shown their affection.” I said getting up off the bed.
“ you want me to be just like you and mom, well that's never going to happen you lying coward! How dare you try and shun your own daughter's dreams, what kind of father are you?!” I could tell he was processing everything, he was speechless.
“ You're never home, you don't come to come graduation, you don't make me feel special-”
“ Crystal, that's because I've been away trying to provide for this family. I and mom have given you everything you have ever wanted, we have never let you experience lack once in your life, isn't that enough?” he said with enthusiasm in his voice.
“ I'd rather experience lack with an affectionate family” as I pause staring intentively into his eyes, “then be controlled by authority and have a life mistaken for fantasy” I take one step towards him.
“ Because even if you don't like, I'm painting my future, and I don't need your help because you haven't helped me so far, ” I say nudging him as I walk out of my room leaving him in distraught. To my surprise I wasn’t even feeling bad for my father, he deserved it, he wanted me to be exactly like him, he didn't want me to follow my goals… he wanted me to follow his goals, but at some point, you gotta leave the nest. Just as I was walking downstairs the phone rang, which permeated through the house, my dad even in spite of our conversation shouted.
“ I'll get it!” from my room, but it was too late I didn't care about a dishonest man. I answered the phone and women answered.
“ Hello, who am I speaking to?”
“ This is Crystal Maybodi, how may I help you mam?”
“ Oh Hi Crystal, I am the secretary for the college of NYU” I suddenly came back to reality and enlightened my tone.
“ Oh hello! Nice to meet you, what are you calling regarding to?”
“ I'm calling regarding the scholarship we have sent you over 3 weeks ago, have you since received it?” In my mind, I wanted to punch my dad, three weeks! That's almost a month I thought.
“ Um yes, I-” I paused thinking of a reasonable answer, “ yes I just got it today, there were some difficulties with the shipping I assume, but sorry for inconvenience” I smiled acknowledging my improv.
“ That's alright, now it was said to call this number, so because of the mailing difficulty we need you to travel to New York as soon as possible for a college tour and if you would like to reside at our school” I couldn't believe this was happening.
“ Of course I will pack my bags as soon as possible and head to New York very shortly, Thank you for this opportunity and also for your time, goodbye”.
“ Goodbye Crystal, we look forward to your arrival”. I hung up the phone, my heart was pounding I couldn't believe I was going to NYU with all expenses paid, this was fantasy. From below I could see my father looking at me with a blank expression, so I called up to him.
“ So first you lie to me about my acceptance, then you lie to me about ever receiving it for a whole month. You unbelievable” I said with disgust in my voice.
“ Crystal lemme-” I didn't let him finish, WereI held up my hand to him and stared at him 
 “ We're going to New York to come and visit the college, aren't we? I don't think you have much of a choice at this point.” I said with demand in my voice.
“ Yes we will leave as soon as you're ready.” he said reluctantly with shame and guilt in his voice.
“ finally, when did you start to acknowledging my existence?” as I grin and head upstairs to get ready for my dreams to become reality.

Now look at me, I'm a sophomore in college, I still keep in touch with amellia even though she goes to Syracuse right now. After that graduation, I realized that my future can only be written into the present if I write it. I noticed that not even your family can be trusted, or they will make you another pawn in their chess match until one day you become checkmated and there's no way out. I sit here sipping my coffee looking out my big apartment window, doing what I love and getting and education for it, all because I decided to leave the nest. As I adjust my glasses I couldn't always see my future, I always thought by now I would have owned a law firm of my own, but I realized that In order to spread your wings you've got to Ride or Die in order to fly.