Stargazer | Teen Ink

Stargazer

February 13, 2016
By Siege SILVER, Arlington, Massachusetts
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Siege SILVER, Arlington, Massachusetts
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Max felt the cool earth underneath him. He wiggled to the right to ease the pain in his left side from a sharp little rock he was lying on. His jacket got caught on the rock, however, so when he lay back down, he could still feel the pain in his side. He decided to give up and move somewhere else. Max stood up, stretched, and moved several steps away and lay back down. The late August air was cold in West Virginia this time of year, and he pulled his jacket tighter around him as he tried to get comfortable on the hardened ground.
“Max?” he heard from several feet away. Max turned over and saw his father looking at him.
“Yeah?”
“What are you doing?”
“Moving around.”
“Why?”
“I was uncomfortable.”
“Oh. OK. Just try to be still and enjoy the stars now, OK?”
“OK.” Max stopped moving. He didn’t want to upset his father any more, and besides, he had the stars.
Max loved the stars more than anything in the world. Not his mom and dad of course, but he figured they didn’t really count, they were his parents after all. He could name all the constellations by sight and even pick out planets when they were especially visible even though he was only six. There was an Orion brand telescope in his room that he used every day to look into the West Virginia sky. It had been a present from his dad on his sixth birthday and it was his most prized possession.
Max’s favorite were nights like these though, when he and his dad would drive up Route 50 to Cooper Mountain, where they would spend the night lying out in the open looking up at the infinite expanse of the stars in the sky. Every time they came here to look at the stars Max felt overwhelmed by how many there were. How they went on forever and ever and never stopped. He felt very small compared to the universe, but he didn’t mind. He liked being small, he could fit into narrow spaces, and he was really good at hide and seek, but the biggest reason was that he had so much to explore.
“Max,” he heard from his father, “Do you see Ursa Major?”
“Yes”
“What about Leo the Lion? I know you like him.”
“Yes, I see him too.” There was a pause, “Dad?”
“Yes?”
“When did you start looking at the stars?” Max had always been curious, but he had never asked his father that question before.
“Well, you see when I was very little, my father started taking me up here to this very spot on Cooper Mountain to watch the stars at night in the summer. He taught me all about the constellations and the planets, just like I taught you, and when I was about your age, I realized that I loved the stars, and the sky, and everything out there, and that I wanted to give my son the same experience. And that’s where you come in Maxie.” Max lay still for a moment, thinking about his father’s words.
“Wow.” he managed. He was still curious though, he continued, “Why do we like the stars though, I mean, I know they’re pretty and all, but why do we really like them?”
“Why can’t we like the stars just because they’re pretty?”
“Well I don’t know, but that’s not the only reason, is it?”
“No, that isn’t the only reason, you’re right.”
“So, what is it?”
“Well, Max, you see how many of them there are?” Max’s father rolled onto his side to look directly at Max. Max sat up; his dad did not usually look away from the stars at all once night fell on trips to Cooper Mountain, so he knew what his father was about to say would be worth listening to.
“Yeah.”
“Well, do you know how many there are?”
“Billions, right?” Max looked up as if to count all the stars to confirm his answer. His father did not answer right away. Max looked back towards him, and saw he was looking up at the stars again. “Right, dad?”
“No Maxie, there are probably way more than that.”
“Way more?” Max was disappointed, he hadn’t known he was so far off with his guess. He had always been bright, and he never missed an opportunity to impress his dad. He looked over at his father, crestfallen, however his father was preoccupied looking at the stars, and hadn’t seemed to notice.
“Yeah Maxie, way more. That’s why we like them so much, there are so many out there that we have no idea about, that we’ve never seen and never thought about. The stars put our tiny human lives into perspective, and make all of our troubles seem petty and surmountable when there are things in the universe that are so much bigger than us. It’s fascinating.”
Max looked up. He realized he had known it all along. Why he liked the stars was pretty much the same as why he liked being small. Not the hide and seek part, but the exploring part. He liked the way his dad had said it, and he lay back down contentedly.
As his head hit the ground Max suddenly felt a wave of drowsiness pass over him and suddenly remembered how late it was. He kept his eyes open as long as he could, drinking in the beauty of the stars above him. After some time though, Max’s eyelids betrayed him, and slipped close, with the image of the stars still in his mind, and a smile on his face.

Max closed the door quietly behind him as he snuck into the house. He had taken his shoes off outside so that they wouldn’t make any noise on the hard wood floor in his dad’s front hall. He laid them on the floor slowly and slipped his left arm through the loop of his backpack. With his left arm free, he lifted the pack up and off of his right shoulder as well, freeing himself from the cumbersome bag. Setting the bag down on the floor, Max began to creep through the hall towards his father’s study, where he knew his father would be. He skirted around the radiator in the hallway, being careful to avoid all of the creaky floorboards. The thick athletic socks he was wearing required him to be especially cautious, but even with his added care he almost slipped twice, managing to save himself without a sound.
After several pained minutes spent inching down the hall, Max finally reached the door to his father’s office. He couldn’t believe it. He’d never made it all the way to the office door before. He reached for the handle, ready to burst through the door—
“There he is!” Max heard a voice from behind him. He turned around in astonishment, and saw his father standing exactly where he had been just moments before.
“Wha—how did you? Dad—” Max’s father smiled wide and let out a chuckle.
“Max let me tell you something. We’ve been playing our little game how long now? Five years?”
“Six”
“Right, six years as of today. And Maxie, in all of that time, do you know how many days you’ve come home at exactly three o’clock? I’ll tell you, all of them. You’re predictable my boy.”
“Shut up dad,” Max tried to sound sullen, but he couldn’t help a smile crossing his face as well.
“And besides,” his dad went on, “Who wouldn’t be able to hear you lumbering through the house like that? I thought a bear had managed to get in.” For a moment Max’s mouth dropped open, aghast. He was sure he hadn’t once made a noise. His shock turned to mock anger when he realized his father was trying to stifle another laugh.
“Yeah, well, whatever,” he sniffed, not able to come up with a suitable response. “Out of curiosity though, how did you manage to get behind me?” The thought had been puzzling Max since he’d turned around, and he still hadn’t figured it out.
“Oh Max, haven’t you ever heard that curiosity killed the cat?”
Max had expected as much, his dad never gave away his secrets, but made Max figure them out for himself. Max was disappointed, but lit up at his father’s next words, “Well, enough standing around, birthday boy, you’re sixteen today, let’s go get your permit!”
Max dashed to the bathroom to go quick before they went to the RMV and then sprinted past his dad still standing right where Max had left him. They were both out the door in a matter of seconds.
As Max’s father backed out of the driveway he began outlining his plan for the afternoon, “OK so I figure we’ll be in and out of the RMV in about an hour, you’ve been studying, right?” Max nodded. “OK, so it should be about an hour there, and then I got us tickets to that George Clooney movie about space we’ve been wanting to see,”
“Gravity?”
“That’s the one, with him and Sandra what’s-her-name. Anyway, that goes till about seven, maybe seven-thirty latest, and then I thought we could close out the night with that burger place you like near the theater. Sound good?”
“Good? Dad, this day is gonna be awesome!”

*  *  *

Max sat smiling at his double-bacon-cheeseburger/milkshake combo. He usually tried to eat healthy food, but he figured he could have a treat on his birthday.
“Are you going to eat that or just sit there grinning like an idiot?” Max looked up. His father was already halfway through his own barbeque-special burger, and had a drop of juice from the meat running down his face. Max looked back to his burger and dove in, tearing an enormous bite out of the sandwich. As he chewed his father spoke again, “Sorry again about the movie, Max, I didn’t think the damned RMV thing would take so long.”
They had waited in line at the RMV for an hour and forty-five minutes to apply for the permit. The test had only taken Max a few minutes, and he’d gotten a near perfect score of twenty-four out of twenty-five, but they were too late to make the five-thirty showing of Gravity that they’d been planning on seeing. Max was disappointed the movie didn’t work out, but he figured it was worth it, he could always see Gravity another time, but he was now legally able to drive a car! He still couldn’t believe that he could—with a licensed adult, of course—drive around on real streets with other people on them. He was a bit scared by the thought, but excited too. It would be something new to explore, and Max loved to explore.
“Finish up, I’ve made up my mind,” Max’s father started out of nowhere.
“About what?” Max asked through a mouthful of burger.
“Well, I’ve been feeling bad since we missed the movie, so I thought about it, and I’ve decided, if you want to, you can drive us home.”
“Really?” Max swallowed and looked up excitedly.
“Yeah, I’d say we’ve still got about an hour of light left, what do you say?”
“Of course I want to drive!” Max laughed.
“Great, then finish up so we can get on the road before the sun starts setting, I don’t want you to drive for your first time at dusk.”
Max downed his burger in fewer bites than should have been possible, and his milkshake with equally impressive velocity. The two of them tossed away their trash into the barrel beside the door and walked towards the light blue Subaru that Max’s father drove. Instinctively, Max started towards the passenger side door, but stopped mid-step and walked back around the car to the driver’s side.
His father watched smiling, “Figured out which side you want?” he laughed.
“Yeah, I’m pretty sure this is the one.”
“Aren’t you forgetting something?”
Max thought for a moment, unsure if his father was playing a trick on him or not. He decided it was a trick and opened the car door. As he began to sit down, he suddenly realized his mistake, and jumped back out of the car. “The keys!” He shouted. His father laughed and tossed the keys across the hood of the car. Max caught them and smiled. He swung himself into the car, and turned over the engine. The car hummed to life, and Max shifted the gear into reverse, adjusting his rear-view mirrors as he did so. Max backed out of the parking spot slowly, not wanting to hit anything on his first try.
“Loosen up a bit, you’re doing fine,” his father encouraged. Max realized his knuckles were white on the wheel, and his back was stiff and arched. He let out a deep breath relaxed a little in the seat. He smiled nervously, trying to convince himself that driving was fun, and that he was doing great.
And he really was. Max found as he got more accustomed to the car that it wasn’t really that difficult after all. His hands eased on the wheel to a comfortable grip, and he sat back in his seat a little bit. He smiled as he felt the car purring under his feet and the wheel glided easily in his hands. The feeling was quite exhilarating and max thought that he could get used to this.
As he cruised the Subaru down the road his father also smiled. Watching from the passenger side he couldn’t believe how well his son was doing for his first time. He reflected that he was probably the proudest man in the world. Max had always made him proud, but the more Max grew up, the more there was to be proud of. His son would grow up to be a fine man, he thought.
In his delight, Max eased slightly more pressure onto the gas pedal. He was having fun, what’s the danger of a few more mph, he thought. His father noticed the acceleration.
“Watch out Maxie, you don’t want to get pulled over your first time on the road,” He cautioned jokingly.
“C’mon Dad, I’m going right at the speed limit, don’t worry. If you wanna see me go faster I will.” Max nudged the gas some more grinning at his father.
“Max, eyes on the road. And please slow down just a little bit. The speed limit is the law, not a suggestion you don’t have to follow if you don’t want.”
“Chill out Dad there’s no one around for miles, we’re fine.” Max pushed the gas down another half inch, edging the car to a whole ten miles per hour over the limit. He was having the time of his life.
“Max,” his father started sternly, “I’m warning you, slow down the car right now.”
“No Dad, I wanna see if this car can do 75.”
“Max! Pull the car over this instant!” his father shouted. Max finally gave in and eased on the brake as he pulled over to the side of the road. “What are you thinking? Do you know how dangerous that was?” Max’s father was fuming. He couldn’t believe how reckless his son had been, and just after he’d been thinking about how proud he was of Max. He just could not believe it.
“Dad?” Max asked quietly. His father was quiet for a moment. “Dad?” Max tried again.
“Just give me a second,” Max’s father was in a daze. He was furious at his son for being so stupid, but at the same time he was upset with himself for letting the situation get so out of hand. “Max, what should I do now?” Max was confused. “Do you see the position I’m in here?” Max didn’t see. “Oh god dammit.”
Max’s father undid his seatbelt and got out of the car. He leaned through the window and said, “C’mon Maxie, we’re getting out.” Max, still bewildered from his father’s outburst cautiously turned off the car and got out as well. He shut the door behind him and held the keys out to his father. “Don’t ever make me regret letting you drive again, OK?” Max nodded. “Good. Now, it was getting pretty dark anyway, what do you say we wait a little and watch the stars come out?”
Max’s frown transformed instantly, “Yeah!” Max’s father smiled. He got it. He had been a reckless driver when he was a kid too, and he could hardly blame Max on his birthday.
“OK then, why don’t you find yourself a comfy spot and get settled then.”
“OK.” After several minutes, Max found a soft patch of moss to settle down on. He leaned back and smiled at the sky.

*  *  *

“Maxie,” Max’s father whispered. Max’s head came up.
“Are we there yet?” he asked.
“No, but we’re only two minutes away, try to wake up as best as possible, your mother will be livid with me as it is.
“OK, will do.” Max rubbed the sleep out of his eyes as they turned onto his mom’s street. He glanced down at the LED clock on the dashboard. 10:14. They were late. An hour and fourteen minutes late. “Oh man,” Max moaned. “She is so gonna kill us.”
“Well, yeah,” his dad paused. “But you had fun didn’t you?”
Max nodded enthusiastically, “Yeah, today was great.”
“Well then that’s all that matters to me. I can take a scolding from your mother for your sake.”
They pulled into the narrow driveway and got out of the car. Max staggered up the steps and knocked on his mom’s door. It opened, revealing a shorter than average woman with a tight-lipped expression on her face.
“Max!” She burst out, “Where have you been?”
“We were stargazing mom, sorry we’re late.”
Max’s mother reached out to hug him, and as they embraced she said, “Oh don’t you worry, it’s not you I’m angry at.” She let go of her son and held him at arm’s length for a moment. “Why don’t you go get ready for bed, you look tired.”
“OK.” Max turned down the hall towards his room, but stopped at his mother’s voice.
“Max,” She called behind him.
“Yeah?”
“Happy Birthday”
“Thanks mom.” They smiled and Max turned back towards his room, but stopped short once more at his mother’s voice.
“Where the hell have you been?” he heard from behind him.
“I’m sorry, it’s a long story, we were stargazing and,”
He never finished, “I don’t want to hear it! You’re such a f***ing idiot, I’ve been sitting here for hours worried sick about you two! You don’t call, you don’t text, nothing!”
“Well, let me start from the beginning, Max was driving, and,”
He was cut off again, “You let him drive? The plan was to get his permit, not to let him f***ing drive. He’s never even practiced before!”
“He was really good.”
“I don’t care if he’s the best driver the world has ever seen, I don’t want him behind the wheel without practice. You are a poor excuse for a father. How you got weekday custody of that poor boy is a mystery to me.”
“I’m sorry.” Max’s father was deflated.
“Did you at least tell him?”
“Veronica, I was going to, but then one thing led to another, and, well, no…” Max heard his father trail off.
“Oh god, now you realize I’ll have to tell him?”
“Tell me what?” Max stepped around the corner to face his parents. They hadn’t realized he was listening and looked startled by his sudden appearance.
“Max, honey,” his mother started walking towards him, “Why don’t I tuck you in tonight? It is your birthday after all.”
“Mom,” Max couldn’t finish as his mother whisked him towards his bedroom.
“And you know exactly where the door is,” she hissed over her shoulder to Max’s father.
They walked down the hall and p the stairs in the back of the house. Max was exhausted and collapsed on his bed without putting on pajamas or brushing his teeth. His mother sat down next to him on the bed and stroked his hair.
“Did you have a good birthday, sweetie?” She asked softly.
“Yeah,” Max smiled, “Today was the best birthday ever. But what didn’t Dad tell me?”
His mother let out a deep breath. “Maybe you should get some sleep first. I’ll tell you in the morning.”
“No, Mom, I want to know.”
“Fine,” his mother took a long time to get the next words out. “Max, sweetie, your father has cancer.”

“Max, how many times do I have to say it? I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.”
Max sat on the edge of his bed, holding his face in his hands. He was all out of tears. He was all out of words. His father had been patient through all the angry outbursts, violent sobbing and hours of defeated silence the night had brought, but now Max didn’t want to talk to him anymore. He didn’t want to face reality. All he wanted to do was curl up and disappear from the world. Without a word into the phone he ended the call and tossed the phone onto his desk across the room and flopped back on his bed.
A faint glow of the rising sun peered through Max’s window. 5:32 AM his alarm clock read. Max hadn’t realized how long he’d been on the phone, and a wave of sleepiness swept over him. His eyes shut and he was asleep in seconds.
* * *
Max awoke to his mother’s gentle tapping. “Max, Max,” she whispered softly. “It’s time to get up sweetie, you have company.”
Max groaned, groggily. “Tell them to leave,” he said, “I don’t want anyone over.”
“Maxie, don't say that, it’s Iris, don't be rude to the girl.”
“Ugh, fine,” he muttered. As his mother left the room max rolled out of bed, tossed on some fresh clothes and quickly made his bed before trudging to the bathroom down the hall.
With brushed teeth and combed hair Max stumbled down the stairs in a sleepy haze. He reached the bottom and continued into the kitchen to find his mother sitting at the table with his best friend. Iris was wearing short khaki shorts and a green and white striped tank top. She flipped her auburn hair over her shoulder and took a sip of the coffee Max’s mother had prepared.
Despite his gloomy attitude Max realized he was looking forward to getting to spend time with Iris. They saw each other every day in school of course, but this was the first time in weeks that they’d both been free on a weekend day. He cleared his throat, uncertain how to get her attention.
She turned around in her chair. “Max!” She leapt out of her chair, nearly tipping it over, and darted across the room, throwing her arms around his neck.
“Hey,” he smiled, hugging her back.
She held on for a few more seconds, and whispered in his ear, “Your mom told me everything. It’s gonna be OK. I have a fun day planned to get your mind off things.”
Max smiled into her hair. For a moment he didn’t remember what the things on his mind were, but then he remembered, and appreciated his friend’s efforts for him.
They pulled apart and Max turned to his mom, “We’re gonna go.” He said bluntly.
His mother smiled at the pair, “OK, you two have fun,” she said. “Make sure he doesn’t get too grumpy Iris,” she added with a grin in the girl’s direction.
“I’ll try my best Veronica,” Iris laughed.
She grabbed Max by the arm and led him out of the house. Max got into the passenger seat of Iris’ red Beetle. It had always irked him that she was almost a whole year older than him, and it had only gotten worse when she had gotten her license and the car. But today Max didn’t mind so much, he was just thrilled it was there to drive him away from everything on his mind.
Max finally found some words, “So where are we going?”
“So he can talk after all. I was getting worried there Maxie,” Iris smiled slyly. She only ever called Max by the pet name his parents used to make fun of him.
He scoffed in mock annoyance, “I just thought you might be a little nicer to the birthday boy.”
“Puh-lease. There’s no way you’re getting any special treatment from me just because it’s your birthday.” Max smiled inwardly. The two friends always went all out for each other’s birthdays and he knew that whatever Iris planned would be fantastic.
“OK then,” Max sniffed, “Whatever.” He had to turn to look out the window to hide his massive grin.
* * *
Max started getting excited when Iris pulled into the parking lot of the movie theater. She parked and they got out of the car and walked to the box office.
“Two tickets to see Gravity please,” Iris said to the woman sitting in the booth.
“Wait, I can pay for my own ticket,” Max said quickly.
“Not a chance mister.”
“But—“
“Look, do you want to see the movie or not? Last time I checked, it’s your birthday, and people get gifts on their birthday.”
“Yeah, I guess you’re right.”
“Of course I am. I’m always right.” Iris collected the tickets and flashed a sweet smile at the clerk. “Now get your butt in there and pick out seats while I get the popcorn.”
“OK,” Max said as Iris got in the line for the concession stand. He walked over to the theater that Gravity was playing in and opened the door. It took his eyes a moment to adjust to the dim lighting of the theater, but after a moment Max saw that there was only one other person there, sitting in the corner of the room. Max made his way to the middle of the theater, taking the two best seats in the house.
Iris sidled into the row and sat down beside Max. She plopped the popcorn down on the armrest between them. “Extra salt, no butter,” she said matter-of-factly. Just the way they both liked it. For as long as they had been going to the movies, they had only ever gotten their popcorn that way. Max wasn’t sure he even knew what popcorn with butter tasted like, but it didn’t matter. He liked the popcorn just the way it was.
The two teens lounged back in their seats, getting comfortable while the commercials and safety warnings and ‘no phones please’ messages played. When the lights finally went dim Max smiled. This was going to be a good movie.
* * *
Max practically skipped out the doors of the theater. Gravity had been even better than he had expected, and he was bouncing off the walls in his joy for the movie.
“You know, that has got to be top five movies ever made. I’d go see it again tomorrow, and the day after too. Why didn’t it win best picture this year? That was clearly the best movie I’ve ever seen!”
“Slow down space-boy,” Iris smiled, you’ll wear yourself out and that was only the first half of your day today.”
“Well that was a pretty f***ing awesome start!”
“Whoa, calm down amigo, no need for language.”
“Yeah you’re right. Sorry. So what’s next?”
“Well, I thought we could grab dinner at the burger place you like, and then we’ll see how we feel.”
“OK!” Max was enthusiastic. He’d had dinner there the night before, but he didn’t mind. Their food was awesome, and he loved burgers.
They hopped in the beetle and Iris drove to the restaurant. Once there, they stepped up to the counter. Max ordered a double barbecue burger, and Iris got a small veggie burger.
“You’re so crunchy granola sometimes,” Max scoffed at her decision as they sat down.
“Am not! Some people just care a little about the amount of calories they consume in one meal. Fourteen hundred is a bit much for me thank you very much.”
“Whoa, whoa! Who said anything about fourteen hundred calories?” Iris nodded towards the menu board.
Barbecue Burger…………… (Regular 1095 cal.)…………… (Double 1420 cal.)
Max reddened. He hadn’t even noticed that the calories were shown beside the items on the menu. He also didn’t realize that the meal with the most calories on the menu was the—
“Double barbecue burger for here!”  The man at the counter called out Max’s order for him to pick up. Max stood up, more noisily than intended, and made his way to the counter. He mumbled a quick thank you to the man and flashed his receipt. He sat back down and looked glumly at the brown paper bag.
Iris was doing a poor job hiding her giggles behind her hand. Max looked up in disgust, “You wanna make me feel a bit worse?”
“No, I’m sorry Max, go ahead and eat your burger, it’s your birthday.” Iris gathered herself together.
“Thank you,” Max said indignantly, and tore the bag open.
“It’s just too bad I didn’t get you a gym membership for a present.” Iris burst out laughing, unable to contain herself at Max’s discomfort. Max glared angrily across the table, determined to eat the burger so as not to give Iris the satisfaction of getting into his head. He bit aggressively into the sandwich, hating the way Iris was smirking at him. Despite his fueled start though, he couldn’t bring himself to finish the whole thing, and soon forgot his anger towards Iris as well.
Both of the young people were winding down with their meals, so Max was eager to learn what they were going to do next. Luckily, Iris answered that question for him.
“So, looking outside, it seems like it’s just about getting dark out. It is your birthday after all, so I thought maybe you’d want to drive somewhere nice to do some stargazing.”
Max was shocked. Iris hated stargazing. She thought it was the most boring thing in the world. “Iris, you hate stargazing.” Max said.
“And when did you become an expert on me, sir?”
“We’ve been friends for, like, ever Iris. You think stargazing is boring as hell.”
“Well maybe I’ve had a change of heart.”
“Or maybe not. You’re not exactly the most fickle person I know.”
“C’mon Max. It’s your birthday, give me some credit.”
“OK. Well, then yeah. Yeah I’d love to go stargazing.”
“Awesome, let’s go then!” They grabbed their trash and tossed it in the bin by the door as they exited. Max strode across the parking lot and waited by the Beetle as Iris fumbled with her keys.
“You’re going to have to tell me where to go, I have no idea where the best stargazing spots are,” she said, unlocking the car.
“For stargazing, there aren’t spots,” Max explained excitedly. “There’s only one spot, and that’s Cooper Mountain.”
“I think I’ve been hiking there, but you’re still gonna need to tell me where to go. I have no idea how to get there.”
“Alright,” Max said uncertainly, “I’ll do my best, but I’m not exactly sure how to get there either.”
“What?” Iris said, surprised. “What do you mean you don’t know how to get there? I thought you did this all the time!”
“Well, yeah I go a lot with my dad, but he always does the driving. I don’t really pay attention to where we’re going.”
“Well then how do you propose we get to this mountain of yours?”
“I think I know the way well enough to get us near there, and then I’ll be able to tell you how to get to the right place when I recognize something.”
“Not the best way to navigate in the world, but I guess it’ll do.” Iris started the car, and off they went.
Max directed her through a few turns, only semi-confident in what he was saying. In all honesty, he had next to no clue where they were going. He was just doing his best to use the quickly fading light to guide Iris in a generally westward direction. He could tell they were going slightly uphill, which was a good sign. Cooper Mountain was a small mountain in the Appalachians, so he knew they wanted to be gaining altitude. He was getting worried though. They had been driving for almost ten minutes, and Max figured that they should be getting near the mountain soon. But there! There was a tree he recognized from all the times his dad had taken him up to see the stars.
“Take the next left,” Max said confidently. If he was right, they would be turning onto a wide road that led to the entrance of the Cooper Mountain Park. And he knew the way to his favorite place to lie down to stargaze easily from there.
He was wrong. The road they turned onto was rough, paved only by some loose gravel that looked like it had been put there a hundred years ago.
“Are you sure this is the right road?” Iris asked as they jostled their way down the trail.
“No, you should probably turn around,” Max replied, embarrassed by his mistake.
“No can do, it’s way to narrow to turn around here, and I do not want to drive backwards in the dark on this road. We’re gonna have to keep going until it widens out a little.”
“What if it doesn’t?” Max wasn’t sure if he wanted to hear the answer.
“Well, I guess it’s just a risk we have to take.”
Max groaned. He felt horrible and scared. He had gotten into this mess, and he had no clue how or if they were going to get out of it.
The car jostled and bounced down the dark dirt road. Iris wrestled with the wheel and stomped on and off the brake, struggling to keep the car straight on the road. The left front tire ran into an unusually deep pothole, and as the car jerked violently Iris lost control of the wheel.
“Max!” She screamed. Max lunged out and grabbed the spinning wheel, straightening the car out and narrowly avoiding a tree by the side of the road. Iris slammed down the brakes at the same moment and the car skidded on the uneven surface, kicking up a shower of gravel and soil around the car.
The Beetle came to a stop, and Max let go of the wheel, slumping back in his seat and letting out a sigh. He couldn’t believe how close they had just come to getting into a serious accident. His thoughts were cut off by a shout of surprise from the seat next to him.
“Max, look!” She pointed ahead of them. Max couldn’t believe it. About a hundred feet ahead of them the trees opened up into a little clearing. Iris eased off the brake, and rolled at two miles per hour the remaining distance and into the clearing. Iris cleared the tree line and parked the car.
“What are you doing?” Max asked, “Aren’t we going to turn around to find the mountain?”
“Max. Just admit it. You had no idea where we were going. Why don’t we just get out here to stargaze? If we turned around, do you really think you could find our way to Cooper Mountain?” Iris didn’t wait for an answer. She slapped him lightly on the knee and got out of the car.
“I guess not,” Max said sullenly to the closed door. He got out of the car and looked around. He had to admit, it was a great place to watch the stars. The trees formed a wide circle around them so that there were no obstructions blocking out the sky. The ground didn’t look too hard, which was good if they were going to lie on the ground. He saw a patch of moss a few feet to his right and walked over to get comfortable on it.
“Where are you going?” Iris called out from behind him. Max turned around to find Iris climbing on top of the Beetle.
“What are you doing?” Max asked, confused.
“Nope, I asked first,” Iris replied with a grin.
“I’m finding a soft spot to lie down.”
“Boring!” Iris called in a singsong voice. “Why don’t you come up her with me? It’s nice and warm from the engine and you get a better view.”
“A better view? The stars are like millions of light-years away, I’m pretty sure a few feet won’t make a difference.”
Iris rolled over to look Max in the eyes. “Max. Just try this. It’ll be fun, I promise.”
Max rolled his eyes, but smiled to himself. He always lay on the ground to stargaze. But lounging up on the roof of the car did look fun. He walked back over to the Beetle and hoisted himself up onto the hood of the car and crawled up the windshield to the roof of the car. He got to the top and paused for a second, on all fours.
“Is there room up her for both of us?”
“Yeah, c’mon. I can scooch.” She wriggled over a few inches to give Max enough room to lie down. He flopped down awkwardly, pinning one of his arms underneath him.
“Ugh, this is pretty tight,” Max grunted through gritted teeth as he tried to free his arm.
“Here, let me help.” Iris sat up to give Max room to slide his arm out from underneath him, and promptly lay back down on his arm, so that her neck rested in the crook of his elbow.
“Uh Iris…now you’re on my arm.” Max was uncertain what his friend was doing.
“So?” She asked, too sweetly.
“Well, um, ah…” Max stuttered and trailed off. He didn’t know what to say.
“Look, Max,” Iris turned her head to look him in the eye. Max saw in amazement something he had never seen before. Iris was attractive. Like really attractive. He took in everything, her breasts rising and falling with every breath under the tight tank top she was wearing. Her auburn hair tumbling down her shoulders, and her bright green eyes that always glowed at him. “Max, we've been friends for a long time, but…oh, f*** it.”
She grabbed his face in both hands and kissed him on the lips. She kissed him hard, but he could feel that her lips were soft. He moved his hand to cradle the back of her head and kissed her back. It was dizzying. She rolled on top of him straddling his body with her legs and kept kissing, becoming more animated with her body movements. Max opened his mouth slightly and slowly explored with his tongue. It wasn’t his first kiss. That had come at summer camp two years ago with a girl whose name he had forgotten. But it didn’t matter now. All that mattered was Iris. Iris, the beautiful girl lying on top of him. Iris, the beautiful girl with her tongue in his mouth. Iris, Iris, Iris.
To the two young people, it seemed as if they had been making out for hours, but in actuality they broke apart before fifteen minutes had passed. Iris rolled back off of him, but left her head resting on his chest. Max held on to her tightly, and gently leaned his face into her hair. He could feel her body expanding and contracting with each breath.
“I can feel your heart beating,” Iris whispered, glancing up at Max. He smiled, he didn’t know how to respond, so he just squeezed a bit tighter and stroked her hair.
He couldn’t stop thinking about one thing though. Iris had said it right before she kissed him. They had been friends for a long time. Like a long time. Iris was his best friend in the world, and she had just given him the greatest experience of his life, but he couldn’t imagine being in a relationship with her. He’d never even seen her as an option before tonight. Iris was seriously attractive, and they got along perfectly, but at the same time, Max felt like a relationship with her would be kind of awkward.
Max had been stroking Iris’ hair absentmindedly while he mulled over the conflict he faced, and hadn’t noticed that Iris had started talking again.
“…and so tomorrow I thought we could go hiking or something like that. How does that sound?” She asked, craning her neck to look up into his eyes. The tone in her voice was different. She was no longer the condescending sarcastic, funny Iris she used to be. She was now a clingy lovey Iris, and it made Max slightly uncomfortable.
“Yeah sounds great,” he said dismissively. “Look, Iris, I don’t want to stargaze anymore for tonight.” He made up his mind. Iris was great, but he didn’t want them to start being a couple.
“Ooh, do you have better ideas?” She said seductively, stretching to brush her lips against his neck.
“No, no, that was great, but I think we should just go home now.”
The hurt was visible in Iris’ eyes, “Is something wrong?”
“Well…” Max didn’t want to upset her or anything, “Stargazing is just making me think about my dad, you know?” The uncertainty in Iris’ eyes turned to pity, and Max felt a wave of relief wash over him. He had to play it just right. He didn’t want to break her heart, but he didn’t want to lead her on either.
“OK, let me take you home then. I don’t want you feeling sad at all today.” She said, giving Max a quick, unavoidable peck on the lips.
They climbed down from the roof of the buggy and got into the car. Iris turned over the engine and they started back towards home.

Max cruised through the last few weeks of school in a haze. Every day came and went with nothing special to say about any of them. He had practiced driving some with his mom, spent a long and awkward weekend at his dad’s place, and hadn’t talked to Iris since the night she took him out. All in all, Max’s last few weeks of tenth grade were utterly and completely uninteresting.
It almost surprised him when he walked out of his last final exam and realized that he no longer had to go to school every day. He trudged the two miles to his mom’s house and crashed on the sofa, not feeling the massive weight lift off his shoulders that usually did on the last day of school. He flipped on the TV as he tried to deal with the fact that his whole summer stood ahead of him and he had absolutely nothing to do.
The sound of the door opening and closing interrupted his thoughts about what to do with himself over the summer. “Mom?” he shouted over his shoulder.
“Nope, it’s me.” Max turned around in surprise. He hadn’t expected his dad to turn up at his mom’s house.
“How’d you get in?” Max asked, confused.
“You left the door wide open when you came in.”
“Oh, OK. Why are you here?”
“It’s great to see you too Max. Yes, I did miss you this week, but I’ve been doing OK, how was your last week of school?” His father asked in a sarcastic voice with undertones of disappointment.
Max realized he’d been slightly inconsiderate, especially since he hadn’t seen much of his dad recently. “I’m sorry, Dad. My week was good. Finals were pretty easy. They seemed to all go by pretty fast.”
“That’s good, I hope you studied hard for them.”
“Yeah, a little I guess. But I mean they were super easy.”
“That’s no excuse for not studying hard Max. But anyway, you don’t want to talk about school. You’re on vacation!”
“Yeah,” Max said unenthusiastically.
“What’s this?” Max’s father asked animatedly. “To answer your earlier question, I am here to get you in the spirit of summer.”
“What do you mean?” Max was skeptical.
“We’re going out for ice cream, bud. Just like when you were little.”
“Um, OK.” Max hadn’t gone out for ice cream on the last day of school since before his parents split, and the tradition had faded out of importance. It seemed strange to start doing it again with just his dad.
“Your mom told me how much you’ve been driving recently. You wanna take us out there?”
“Yeah, sure, I guess.” Max was still nonplussed. He still didn’t know what to make of his Dad’s strange offer.
“OK then, let’s go!”
Max got up off the couch and followed his father out of the house. He flopped into the driver’s seat sluggishly, and turned on the ignition.
“Make sure you’re wearing your seatbelt,” Max’s father reminded him.
Max grunted in recognition and strapped himself in. Stepping on the gas, the car pulled out of the driveway quickly.
“Wh—“ Max’s father began to say something, but stopped when he saw the angry look he was getting from his son. Max proceeded to drive the whole way to the ice cream parlor at least five miles an hour above the speed limit, with his father gripping the handle above the window and mashing an imaginary brake pedal the entire time.
They pulled into a spot right outside the shop, and got out of the car. Max’s father took a few steps unsteadily, still shocked by the speed they had gone at on the ride over.
“Maybe a bit slower on the way home, OK Maxie?” he said, breathing heavily.
“Yeah, whatever,” Max walked into the store.
Max’s father watched his son walking away from him. He was disappointed Max was in such a bad mood. Max was such a reasonable kid, it didn’t make sense that Max would blame him of all people for getting cancer. He wondered if it was still about the cancer, or there was something more going on with him. Maybe it was puberty, who knew. All he knew was that he wanted to give Max a fantastic day.
He walked into the store and found Max waiting in line. He walked over to his son. “You know what you want?” He asked conversationally.
“Yeah,” Max hesitated, “I think I’ll have a chocolate frappe.”
“Really? Since when do you like frappes?”
“I don’t know, I thought I’d give it a try, see how I like it.”
“Fair enough. I love frappes myself you know.”
“Yeah I know, you get a coffee frappe every time we get ice cream, Dad.”
“Oh, you could tell?” Max’s dad asked jokingly.
Max rolled his eyes, not amused, “Yeah, I could tell, Dad.”
They had moved up in line as they were talking and now it was their turn to order. Max’ s father told the girl behind the counter their order and slid his card to her to pay for the ice cream. Max glanced up and saw the girl, and then immediately found something extremely on the ceiling, as he gravitated towards the table area.
“Where are you going Max?” Max’s dad asked loudly, “I’m not going to carry your frappe back to the table for you.”
Max went red and shuffled back to grab the counter to grab his frappe from the girl who was now smirking. “Thanks,” he mumbled, not meeting her eyes.
“No problem,” she replied, trying not to laugh.
Max walked hurriedly past his father and spat out, “We’re taking these to go,” as he flashed by.
“What, why?” Max’s father asked, hopping to catch up with his son.
“Just because,” Max threw over his shoulder. They reached the car, both of their faces flushed, but for different reasons. Max’s father was panting, but before he could say a word, Max burst out angrily, “Why’d you have to embarrass me lie that?”
Max’s father straightened up. “Embarrass you? I—“
But he was cut off, “That was Megan Brown! Only like the hottest girl in my school!”
Max’s father started to get angry himself, “Oh yeah, and you were just Mr. Smooth without me, were you?” He asked sarcastically.
“Well maybe not, but it would have been a hell of a lot better than what happened back there.”
Max’s father took a deep breath, incredulous that he was being accused for this. He was just trying to help Max have a good time. He hadn’t even realized that the girl was his age. “Alright. Well, I’m sorry. Can we at least enjoy our ice cream?”
“No. Get in the car, I’m going home.”
Max’s father complied sullenly, as if he were the insolent child of the two, not the parent. They rode home in silence, once again taking the whole trip over the speed limit. Max’s father didn’t even care anymore. He realized that Max was really a great driver, and even at a ridiculous speed there was nothing to worry about with him behind the wheel.
They reached Max’s mother’s house in half the time it should have taken, and Max got out of the car and slammed the door, leaving the ignition running. Max’s called out a goodbye to him, but Max either didn't hear or didn't care, and he walked into the house without a word. Max’s father got out of the car and went around to the driver’s side.
He sighed as he got into the vehicle and strapped himself in. His eyes fell onto the frappe that Max had left in the cup holder near the gearshift. He hadn’t taken a single sip of it. Tears started to roll down his cheeks as he puled out of the driveway and towards home.
* * *
It was dark by the time Max heard his mother pull into the driveway. He had heated himself up a frozen pizza he found in the freezer, and had spent several hours watching television.
“Hey sweetie!” he heard his mother yell as she walked in the door.
“Hey Mom!” he yelled back.
She walked into the living room. “How was your day?”
“Good,” Max lied.
“That’s good, and how was ice cream with your father?” She asked.
“Oh, how did you know about that?”
“He asked me to come along like old times, but I had to work late so I couldn't make it,” she explained, “So anyway, how was it?”
“Oh, well, great,” Max lied again. He did his best to smile as if he had enjoyed the experience.
“Fantastic, I’m glad that it went well.” Se smiled at him. “I have big news!”
Max muted the TV and leaned forward sensing that this was going to be something important. “What is it?” He enquired.
“We’re gong to Italy!”
Max sat back, stunned. “Like Italy as in Europe, on the Mediterranean Sea?”
“Yup, that’s the place. I got a big raise at work, so I thought we would take a vacation this summer, and spend a month in Italy. I’ve already rented a villa on the Amalfi Coast, and the owners have said that it will be ready as soon as we arrive. Isn't it exciting?”
“A villa?” Max sputtered; he didn't know what to say. “Amalfi Co—?” He trailed off, shocked.
His mother looked at him. “Is that OK?” She asked. “You don't look so thrilled with the idea.”
Max finally broke out into a grin, “No it sounds awesome! When do we leave?”
“This weekend. You should spend the next two days making sure you have everything you need to live in Italy for a month.”
“OK I’ll start now!” He jumped up enthusiastically. He realized that this trip could be exactly what he needed. A chance to leave all of his troubles behind, take a month off from all of his worries and problems, and then come back with a fresh outlook for a new start going into next year. This was a summer he was looking forward to.

Max sat in a woven recliner chair sipping a pina colada on the terrace of their villa. He watched the waves rolling in across the beach through the sunglasses his mom had bought him as a belated birthday present just before they left. It had been a long trip—a whole day all told—but it had been worth it. The second week of their stay was just beginning and Max was loving every minute of it.
Max felt the wind streaming through his hair and took another sip of his drink. The sun was about to set, and he couldn't decide if he wanted to watch it from where he was or if he wanted to go down to watch it from the beach. He wanted to go for one last swim in the warm, turquois water for the day, but at the same time, he was just so comfortable where he was, and he really didn't want to move. In the end he decided to watch the sun set from where he was and then go down for a quick swim in the dark.
The sunset was beautiful. It began with the bright blue afternoon sky lightening into a soft yellow, and slowly gaining streaks of orange and red until it darkened into a rich deep purple before fading to a moonlit darkness. Max had finished his pina colada, and got up to go down to the beach. He took his sunglasses off and left them with his empty glass in the kitchen on the first floor of the house. Kicking off his sandals, he went out the back door of the villa and onto the sand, shining white under the light of the moon.
He jogged across the thin strip of beach and waded until he was knee deep in the water. It was like a bath it was so warm. He sat down in it and leaned back, floating on the dense salty water. He remained like that for a while until he felt himself drifting slightly. He turned back upright and was surprised to find that his feet didn't reach the bottom. He must have been drifting for longer than he thought. No matter though, he was a good swimmer and it was a beautiful night, so he turned back towards the shore and began a slow breaststroke in the direction of the house.
He wondered if his mother had gotten home yet. Since his parents had separated, Max’s mother had tried dating again twice, with little success each time. Max didn't know why. He had always though his mom was pretty, and she was nice he guessed. She was his mom after all; she obviously loved him. Max had always attributed his mother’s tepid love life to latent feelings for his father. It wasn’t like you could just forget about the guy you had your kid with.
Which is why it had surprised Max when his mother had stayed out later and later with each night. Max had no doubt she was getting herself acquainted with Italian men. Several times she had come home flushed and slightly drunk, and not being a total idiot, Max had a pretty good idea of what that meant. He hadn’t questioned her on the matter in the week they had been there. He thought it would be awkward to talk about that with his mom, so he just accepted her story that she went ‘dancing’ every night.
Max reached the shore and lingered for a moment in the warmth of the shallow water before getting out and toweling off. He walked lightly across the sand and wide his feet on the soft doormat outside the villa before entering into the kitchen. “Mom?” he called out softly. He was met with silence from the dim house. His mother was usually home before this point, but he was getting used to her late nights and figured she was just going to come home in a little while.
While he waited for his mom to come home, he sorted through the stainless steel refrigerator in the kitchen of the villa. He finally found what he was looking for; the left-over half of the thin crust pizza he had gotten for lunch earlier that day. The little village down the rad from their house didn't have practically any tourist attractions, but the food from the two restaurants was the best that Max had ever tasted.
Max unwrapped the pizza from its tinfoil covering and placed it on a plate in the microwave on the far end of the marble counter. After a minute, the mozzarella was bubbling and max took his dinner out of the microwave. He bit into it and felt some of the grease from the pesto sauce roll down his chin. It burned his tongue it was so hot, but Max didn't care. The creamy pesto and mozzarella on the crunchy crust was so delicious he didn't put the plate down until he had finished all four slices.
The meal was so good he briefly forgot about the fact that his mother was missing. As he was washing up after the meal—reheated pizza can get extremely greasy—he suddenly remembered that he had no idea where his mom was. After his swim and the enormous meal Max was deadly tired, but he didn't want to go to bed until he knew his mom was home safe. He decided to get the book he had started on the plane ride and read while he waited for his mom. He settled into a comfy chair in the main parlor room near the front door and opened his book.
* * *
Max awoke with a start as he heard a crashing sound from right behind him. He silently cursed himself for falling asleep and picked his book up from where he had dropped it on the ground before turning to confront whatever had awoken him. He found his mother standing in the doorway with a half full bottle of wine in one hand.
“Mom!” Max shouted and hurried to help her, “Are you OK?” But she wasn’t. It was clear she was in horrible shape, and from the smell of her breath she was extremely drunk. “OK,” Max said as he lead his mother to the chair he had been sleeping in, “Just sit down, Mom. Just get yourself comfortable and tell me what’s going on.” As his mother flopped down into the chair, e glanced up at the clock beneath the television set. 2:48, it read. Whatever had kept his mother so long, she had a lot of explaining to do.
“First of all, I’m sorry,” his mother slurred out. She then took a sip from the wine bottle and coughed loudly.
Max took the bottle from his mother and cut off her protests with a curt, “No. Where have you been? You need to start talking right now, and that means no more drinking.”
His mother sat up in the chair, “You’re right. I’m sorry. I’ve had a really bad night.”
“Gee, I couldn't tell,” Max retorted impatiently. He was surprised when his mother burst into tears at that. “Wh—Mom, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you.”
“No, no it’s not your fault, Max. Look, did I ever get to telling you the real reason we took this vacation?”
“You said it was because you got a raise a t work and wanted us to have some time to relax…” Max trailed off. He didn't now where his mom was going with this.
“No, sweetie, that was a lie. Well at least partly, I did get a raise, but that’s not why I wanted to take this vacation.” Max took a seat, paying close attention to what his mother had to say.
“Go on.”
“The truth is, Max, your father is in critical condition. The cancer was much more severe than we thought initially. He has a tumor.”
“What does that mean?”
Max’s mother ignored his question, “He just told me on your last day of school. I made the decision to take this trip that day, just before he cam e to see you. I didn't want you to have to experience him suffering. He’s been in pain—” She got choked up and had to take a pause in her story. “So much pain…”
“What does it mean?” Max asked again, more energetically.
“I was in town, and his doctor called me while I was having dinner. I heard the news, and I couldn’t really take it, so I bought myself your friend there,” she pointed to the wine bottle, “to get me through the night.” She began sobbing now.
“What?” Max shouted, “What was the news?” His screaming only made his mother cry more, so he gathered every shred of willpower he possessed, and asked her softly, “What does all of this mean, Mom?”
His mother turned her tear-streaked face towards his and whispered, “Your father is going to die.”
* * *
Max had a massive headache. He sat at the table in the kitchen staring into the black of his coffee. The coffee in Italy was darker than anything he had ever had in the States, and he was hoping it could help him get over his hangover.
Max just barely remembered the events of the previous night. After his mother had given him the news, he remembered that there was a lot of screaming and crying, on both of their parts. He also remembered holding the empty wine bottle, but not being sure who had finished it. His headache and nausea gave him a pretty good idea of who had drunk the wine, though.
His mom stumbled into the condition, looking even worse than Max. “Pour me a cup of that, will you?” She grumbled, gesturing towards the coffeepot.
Max got up and retrieved a mug from the cabinet above the sink and poured his mother a generous helping of coffee.
“Are you all packed?” She asked, taking a large gulp of the bitter drink.
“What?” Max grunted.
“We’re leaving this afternoon. If you’re not all packed already, you should get going with that soon.”
Max groaned. He hadn’t cleaned his room since they had arrived, and there were clothes all over the place. He was going to need to work hard and fast to get it all packed in time to go. He trudged upstairs to start getting everything into his suitcase.
* * *
Max looked out the window of the plane later that day. They were passing over the Atlantic Ocean, but it had only been a few hours since they left. He had watched ruefully as the land fell away underneath them. The trip had seemed to good to be true from the beginning, but he was still upset that they had to cut it short, especially for the reason that they did. None of it made sense. Max’s life had been a rollercoaster of highs and lows over the past few months, and he didn’t know how to sort it all out. He didn’t know when to feel happy or sad. There was no escape. It was like he was in a giant washing machine that tossed him up and threw him down and never stopped.
“Max, you should sleep, we’re going to be arriving in four hours, and it’ll be morning back home.” Max’s mother told him.
Max nodded and reclined his seat to the lying down position. He was dead tired, but sleep didn’t come easily. He couldn’t stop thinking that he was leaving paradise forever.

Max looked out the window of the black limousine and watched the houses and streets and shops and restaurants rush by. He looked at his reflection in the tinted window. Tired eyes looked back at him, with black rings beneath them. Black to match the car he rode in, to match his suit and tie. Everything was black today.
The funeral had been nice, as funerals went. Some of Max’s friends had come, and sat in the back of the church, a respectful distance from him. Except for Iris. She and her family had come and sat right behind him and his mother. Max and Iris’ mothers were good friends, and Max could tell his mom was glad that Iris’ family was there. He had sat in the front row for the ceremony. His uncles Tim and Jaime had given a short eulogy together for their brother that had made Max’s mother cry a little. Iris put her hand on Max’s shoulder then, but he shrugged it off. Max didn’t want her comfort. He didn’t need it. Max didn’t cry. Max hadn’t cried since Italy. He was all out of tears.
Max’s father died two weeks after they got back. Two weeks that had been the most grinding, painful time of Max’s life. Every day had been like sitting in a waiting room, just passing the time until his father died. When it finally came, there was no surprise. No emotional reaction. Just another tired day. Max didn’t know when he had let his father go, but he knew that it was well before the day he died. He hadn’t been allowed into his father’s room to see him since they got back. The treatment couldn’t be interrupted, the doctors said. We’re doing our best, they said. But Max knew better. He had resigned himself to the truth, and so his father had died.
The car stopped outside the cemetery. Max opened the door and got out and stepped into the sunlight. He adjusted his jacket, and then took his sunglasses out of his breast pocket, and looked at them for a moment. He had brought them because the sun was bright out, but more because he didn't want anybody to see that he wasn’t crying. He began walking to the place where his father would be buried and put them on.
* * *
Max walked back through the cemetery by himself. His mother had stayed behind to accept condolences from some of her friends.
“Max!” Max heard a girl’s voice call his name form behind him.
Max turned, frustrated. He didn't want to have to talk to Iris right now, he just wanted some peace to be by himself with his thoughts.
“Iris, I don’t—” he stopped short though. In front of him wasn’t Iris. Megan Brown was running towards him. “Oh, hi,” he said, timidly. The dress she was wearing was extremely revealing for a funeral, and it took all of his will power to maintain eye contact as she got closer.
“Hi,” she panted, catching up with him. Max waited for her to continue, but she was looking at him like he should say something.
“Um, thanks for coming,” he tried.
She smiled. Not a happy smile, but a kind of sad smile that pitied him but felt for him at the same time. Max liked her smile; it made him feel better.
“Of course, you go to my school. I had to come.”
“No, you didn’t. But thank you anyway, I appreciate it…” Max was at a loss for words. He had never spoken a word to this girl in his life, and he still wasn’t quite sure why she had started this conversation.
Luckily, Megan answered that question for him, “Anyway, I’m having an end of summer party at my house this Saturday, and I was hoping you could come.”
Max was stunned. Why would she invite him to a party? They weren’t friends. He wasn’t friends with any of her friends. It didn't make any sense that she would invite him to her party.
Megan noticed his hesitation and added quickly, “If you don't feel up to coming, because of, you know, all of this,” se said gesturing to the cemetery around them, “That’s totally fine. I just though you might like to have some fun after everything you’ve been through.”
“Oh, no. I mean, yeah, I’d love to come. Thank you.”
“Awesome!” Megan looked genuinely happy that he could make it. “See you then!” She said, turning to go back to her parents.
Max watched her walk away with an open mouth. He had completely misjudged Megan. He had always assumed that since she was so popular, and, well, hot that she would be a basic b****, but it seemed like there was a real person under that perfect body, and gorgeous face.
He turned and walked the rest of the way back to the limousine with a smile on his face. It was the first time he had smiled in weeks.
* * *
“Max, are you sure you’re ready for this after everything that’s happened in the past couple of months?” His mother asked from the living room.
“Yeah, I am, Mom,” he called back from where he was examining himself in the mirror in the bathroom upstairs. He couldn’t understand why his mother was so concerned about him going to Megan’s party. She had just been saying the other day how he should get out and spend more time with friends to take his mind off of things. He brushed the thought aside though, and got back to determining if he looked good enough for Megan. He had combed and gelled his hair a little bit so that it flowed to one side a little bit. He had also put on his favorite shirt, which was just small enough to make his muscles look bigger, but not too tight to be weird looking. He had also put on a pair of gray khaki shorts that matched the shirt perfectly. After a few more minutes of thorough inspection, he decided he was ready to go, and went downstairs.
“Ready?” his mom asked as he walked into the living room.
“Yeah, do you think it’s too early to go?”
“No, not at all. I think you’ll be fine.”
“OK. Let’s go then.”
“OK.”
They left the house and got into the car. It wasn’t a very far drive to Megan’s house, but Max had never been there before, so he had to look up the directions on his phone. After a wrong turn they were there in about five minutes though.
Max’s mother stopped the car. “Have fun,” she said, smiling at her son.
“Thanks,” Max said, getting out of the car. He closed the door and walked up to the front steps of the house.
Max’s mother sat in the car looking at her son. He had been through so much recently; she really hoped that this would be a chance to get his mind off of things. She thought she had done a pretty convincing job of acting like she didn't think it was a good idea for Max to go tonight. He didn’t have any idea that she had asked Megan’s mother if Max could get an invitation to the party. It was so nice of Megan to oblige; tonight would be good for Max. She came to that conclusion and realized she had just been sitting there for five minutes, and pulled away.
Max stood awkwardly at the door with his hands in his pockets. He had rung the bell, and counted to ten slowly in his head, but nobody had come to the door yet. He wondered if he should ring again, and was reaching for the bell when the door opened, to reveal Megan in an extremely small pink and black bikini standing in the doorway.
“Max!” She said excitedly, and hugged him. Max didn’t know where to put his hands. She broke apart, and said, “Come in, come in, everyone’s out back. Did you bring a bathing suit?”
“Um, no,” Max managed. His eyes slipped to glance at her boobs inadvertently. He jerked his eyes quickly to meet her gaze, but she hadn’t seemed to notice. “No, I, uh, didn’t know it was a pool party.”
“That’s OK! You can borrow one of my brother’s. You’re about the same size as him.”
“Um, sure.”
“Here, I’ll go grab one for you and you can change in that bathroom down the hall.”
“OK.”
“Be right back.” She flashed him a smile and ran up the stairs in the hallway behind them. She returned within a few seconds holding a pair of bright red board shorts. They looked cool, but Max frowned slightly at the color, they didn’t match his shirt at all. Megan noticed and giggled, “What’s wrong? Don’t like the color?”
“Well, they’re a bit bright.” Megan raised an eyebrow at him. “And they don’t really match my shirt at all.”
Megan gave him a devilish grin, “Well then I suppose you’ll just have to take it off, won’t you?”
Max reddened, “I, guess so,” he sputtered.
“Now your face matches the shorts,” Megan laughed, “Now go get changed and come out and join the party.”
“Yeah, be right out,” Max said, and walked down the hall to where Megan said the bathroom was. He quickly changed out of his shorts and into the bathing suit that Megan had given him. He took off his shirt and folded it and his shorts up. He left the bathroom and left his clothes and shoes in a pile by the door, before making his way through the through the house and out the screen door in the back of the house.
The pool was filled with bikini-clad girls, and guys, none of whom were wearing a shirt. Max was glad Megan had made him change. He would have been embarrassed to be the only one who didn't get into the pool. Max saw a man, presumably Megan’s father standing at a grill flipping hamburgers. The man saw Max and waved him over. “Hey, kid. The burgers are just finishing up. Why don't you take one and go tell everyone the food’s ready.”
“OK,” said Max, accepting the plate Megan’s dad gave him. He walked over to the pool and looked for Megan. It was hard to pick her out in the mass of attractive girls in the pool, but he eventually saw her in a circle of her friends splashing each other. That was hot.
Max went around to stand at the side closest to Megan and called out to her, “Megan, your dad says the food is ready.”
She looked at him, and he detected a slight hint of annoyance in her face for a second, but it went away almost immediately. She smiled, and said, “Thanks Max!” Then, turning to the rest of the pool, she shouted, “Food’s up everyone!” There was a rush of people out of the water as people lined up to get their burgers. Max walked over and sat on the edge of the pool, letting his feet dangle into the water. He chewed on his burger. It was overcooked and bland, nowhere near as good as the ones from the new burger place in town. He finished the meal with a few more bites and looked around. Everybody else was still eating and talking together in groups around the yard. He got up and walked to the massive trash bag hanging from the grill. He tossed his plate into the gaping opening and looked around. Nobody else had finished yet, and it would be awkward to just sit down and join in to some group’s conversation.
He was still working out what to do with himself when he heard a voice behind him, “Hey you,” the voice said.
Max turned around and saw an older kid leaning against the side of the house. “Me?” Max asked him.
“No, the kid standing right behind you.” Max looked over his shoulder in confusion, before he realized the kid was being sarcastic. “Of course you, dickhead.” The kid laughed, but not in a friendly way. “I’ve never seen you before, who are you.”
“Uh, my name is Max.”
“Oh, OK. You friends with my sister?”
Max realized that the kid he was talking to was Josh Brown, Megan’s older brother. Josh was famous in town for being the worst of the worst. He sold drugs, got into fights all the time, and Max had heard people say that he was part of a gang.
“Um, I guess so,” Max responded.
“Oh, OK.” Josh seemed utterly uninterested in Max, and returned to doing whatever he was doing, which appeared to be reading a magazine of some sorts. Max was about to turn away when he glanced at the magazine and saw his favorite kind of car, a Lotus Elise.
“Whoa, that’s a sweet Lotus,” he let out.
Josh looked up, “You like the Elise? I’ve always though it was too flashy. I’d rather have more muscle and less flare.”
“Oh yeah, muscle is good too,” Max said. He was way out of his depth talking about cars. He only liked the Elise because it looked cool.
The comment made Max suddenly more interesting to Josh though, “So, you drive?”
“Yeah,” said Max, regaining his confidence a little, “I got my permit a few moths ago.”
Josh’s eyes dropped when he heard the word permit, “You can’t be doing any real driving when your folks gotta be in the car,” he said dismissively.
“I did eighty going from my house to the ice cream parlor,” Max said, defensively.
That caught Josh’s attention, “Eighty!” He said, impressed, and gave out a low whistle, “I’d be dumb enough to try that now, but not with my folks in the car, and definitely not at your age.” He nodded approvingly, and said, “I like you, Max. You probably already know my name, but call me Josh.”
“OK,” said Max.
“I’ll see you around dude. Oh, and nice bathing suit.” Max looked down and Josh grinned at him.
“See you,” Max watched Josh slink away and into the house. He wasn’t sure what to make of the situation. Josh was supposed to be a horrible person who everyone was afraid of, but he was just a nice kid who liked cars. Max felt himself liking Josh, even though he knew he shouldn’t.
“Hey,” he heard from behind him. He spun around to find Megan standing there. To his surprise he found little else going on in the yard. There were a few stragglers on the phone with their parents, waiting for a ride, but almost everyone had left while he was talking to Josh.
“Hey,” he replied. “Are people leaving? Should I call my mom for a ride?”
“No, stick around for a little, I wanna hang out with you.” Max grinned awkwardly and Megan laughed, “Hey I got you out that bathing suit for a reason, why aren’t you wet yet?”
“Uh—”
“C’mon, let’s go in now!” Megan skipped over to the edge and dove in. Max walked over and watched as Megan’s head popped back above the water. “Are you afraid or something?” Megan asked, laughing, and splashed Max’s legs.
“OK, OK, I’m coming,” Max said, laughing himself now. He squatted down to ease himself into the pool.
“Not quick enough!” Megan shouted. She jumped out at him and pulled him headfirst into the water. Max let out a squeak of surprise before getting a face full of water.
Max resurfaced and turned to Megan. “You’re so dead!” He splashed her with an armful of water.
“Ah!” She squealed and splashed him back. They splashed each other for a few minutes before tiring out and sitting down on the steps in the pool.
Megan sighed, “That was fun,” and smiled, “But super tiring.”
“Yeah,” Max agreed, and smiled too.
“Bye Megan!” a voice shouted from behind them.
Megan turned and shouted back, “Bye Ellie!” The girl named Ellie left through the back gate and got into her mom’s car. Megan turned to face Max, “Finally, everyone’s gone,” and kissed him, taking his face in both hands.
Max broke away in surprise. “Whoa, what?” He asked, incredulously.
Megan looked at him strangely, “What, you don’t want to?”
“No, no, of course I do, please continue.”
Megan grinned and dove at him, knocking him against the wall of the pool. She wrapped her legs around him and kissed his face furiously. Max didn’t know what to do; he just held her and grinned stupidly.
Darkness had fallen almost completely by the time Megan pulled away. “It’s getting cold,” she said, “And late. What time do you have to be home?”
“Well, my mom’s rule used to be nine, but with everything that’s happened, I don’t think she’s really gonna care. And also its past that already, so f*** it, I’ll stay as long as you want.”
Megan smiled widely, and then the expression turned into a sly grin as an idea struck her, “So, you’d stay the night?”
Max grinned, and then frowned, and grinned again. “I’d have to call my mom for that. I won’t ask her, I’ll just tell her I’m staying at a friend’s house, but I still should let her know.”
“Yay! OK do that right now, and I’ll get some towels for us.” Megan splashed out of the pool, and Max got out as well, and retrieved his phone from his shorts pocket. Max punched in the numbers for his mom’s phone and waited while it rang. His mom picked up on the other end.
“Max? Is it over? Should I come pick you up?”
“No, Mom. I’m actually gonna stay at a friend’s house tonight.”
“Oh, well, I would have asked that you asked me before making that decision.”
“Look, sorry, but it was kinda last minute. They have everything I need here, so don’t worry about me.”
“Max, I really think you should come home. Do I even know this person?”
“No, but they’re really cool. I have to go now, bye!”
“Max—” Max hung up before his mother could say anything else. Max turned around to see Megan holding two towels. She tossed one to him.
“Dry off quick,” she said, and started to rub herself down.
“Your parents don’t mind that I’m staying here?” Max asked as he began to dry himself off.
“Nah, they don’t really care about what me and Josh do. Which is a good thing, because then I wouldn’t be able to keep you.” She stepped closer and kissed him again. Taking his hand, she led him through the kitchen and to the stairs.
As they climbed up, Max asked, “Megan, why do you like me?”
Megan stopped, annoyed. “Does it really matter?” She asked.
“No, I guess not.” Max looked down. Megan continued up the stairs and then down a hall to her bedroom. She opened the door and dragged Max in.
“If you really want to know, I think the whole emo thing you have going on since your dad died is super hot,” she said, and closed the door. She then kissed Max again before pushing him down onto her bed. She climbed on top of him and kissed him some more. Max put his hands around her to feel her ass, and then slid them up to where her bathing suit was tied around her back. Nervously, he found the ends of the strings and pulled one until he felt it come loose.
Megan sat up and pulled her top all the way off. Max stared at her boobs. “Like what you see?” Megan asked. Max nodded. She threw herself back onto him so that he could feel her boobs against his chest. Megan reached over his shoulder and fumbled around in the drawer next to her bed. She found what she was looking for and sat up once more, showing it to Max.
She was holding a condom. Max took it and grinned, at the hottest girl in the school, who he was about to have sex with.

Max opened his eyes and blinked several times. He stretched his arms, finding that only his left moved. He glanced around to find an unfamiliar bedspread. Looking to his left, he found the reason his arm would not move; it was trapped beneath Megan’s naked body. Max grinned at the memory of the previous night. It had been such a blur, he barely remembered any of the intricate details, but he did remember that it had been the best night of his life.
He wasn’t sure what to do in his situation, and he didn’t want to disturb Megan’s sleep by taking his arm out from under her. So he just propped himself up a bit and looked at her, leaving his arm under her. Fortunately, he didn’t need to wait long, because Megan opened her eyes and looked at him after a few moments.
She smiled at him, “You’re up early.”
“Yup,” Max said.
“Have you just been looking at me?”
“Yup,” Max repeated.
“And I don’t have any clothes on.” Max didn’t know how to respond so he just nodded. Megan laughed, “You’re such a pervert!” and hit Max in the back with a pillow.
Max laughed too, “A beautiful girl lying in bed naked next to me, and I’m not supposed to look?” Maxed asked, “What would have had me do?”
“Well, several things come to mind. You could have woken me up with oral,” she giggled, “Or, you could have just f***ed me again,” this time climbing on top of Max as she said it, “Or, you could have gone downstairs and gotten yourself breakfast,” and kissed him.
“Well, I didn’t want to wake you up first of all, and second of all, wouldn’t your parents know that we, you know, slept together if I just went downstairs and had breakfast with them?”
“Max, sweetie, you’re not exactly the first guy I’ve spent the night with,” Megan said in a soft voice, “My parents know I’ve f***ed guys, and a lot of them have stayed for breakfast. It wouldn’t have been a super big deal.”
“You’ve f***ed a lot of guys?” Max asked somewhat disappointedly.
“Well, yeah,” said Megan, but noticing the tone of Max’s voice, added, “But who’s the guy I’m with right now, and who I’m about to f*** again, right now?”
Max grinned, and took her face in both hands to kiss her. She pushed him backwards and fell on top of him once more.
* * *

Max looked down into his cereal bowl, as the laughter thinly veiled as coughing turned into a full cackle from across the table.
“Oh man,” Josh said, gasping for breath, “I said you were cool, man, not that you could f*** my sister.” He slapped the table, bursting out laughing again. Max looked at Megan, nervously.
“He does this to all the guys that stay over, don’t worry about it. He’s just being a douche, like normal,” Megan said, looking annoyed with her brother. She got up to put her cereal bowl in the sink.
As she turned her back to the table, Josh leaned over and offered his fist to Max. “No, but actually good job man, you don't seem like the kind of dude my sister goes for, I didn’t think you had it in you.”
“Thanks,” Max said uncertainly, unsure of whether that was a compliment or not.
“Max, if you’re done with your cereal you can bring the bowl to the sink,” Megan called from behind him.
“Oh OK, one sec.” Max finished his last spoonful of corn flakes and got up to bring the bowl over to where Megan was standing by the sink. He poured out the dregs of the milk left in the bowl and placed his bowl next to Megan’s.
She took his hand, and asked, “Is there any time you should be home by?”
“Trying to get rid of him already?” Josh asked sarcastically from across the room.
“No,” Megan replied quickly, and, as if to prove it, slid her arms around Max and kissed him on the lips. Her display sent Josh into a raucous laughter, and left Max feeling utterly bewildered.
“Um, I don’t know,” Max got out after Megan had broken away from him.
“Don’t know about what?” Megan asked, having forgotten her initial question.
“About when I have to be home.”
“Oh, right.”
Max thought for a moment, “I mean, I kind of stayed without my mom’s permission. She’s probably super pissed right now.”
“Right, so do you want a ride home? My parents went out for breakfast, so I can take the car and drive you if you want.”
“That would be awesome.”
“Great, you didn’t have anything else that you brought, did you?” Max looked down at himself. He was wearing the clothes he had worn to the party the previous night. He shook his head in response to Megan’s question. “OK then, hop in the car.” Megan grabbed the car keys from a hook above the kitchen counter, and led Max out the door.
“Megan,” Josh said quickly, suddenly very serious, “Have it home before noon, I have to be at—” He looked at Max, and changed his mind about what he had to be at. “I have something to do at noon, so have the car back by then.”
“Jesus Josh, you’re taking Mom and Dad’s car again?” Megan asked, exasperated.
“Meg, we both know it’s better than my piece of crap.”
“Fine, I’ll be back before noon. Don’t worry.”
“OK thanks.”
Megan took Max by the hand and led him out the door to the car. “What was that about?” Max asked.
“Don’t worry about it, it’s nothing,” Megan said in an annoyed tone. Max decided it was better to drop the issue. They got into the car and put their seatbelts on.
“So you have your license?” Max asked as Megan started the car.
“No.”
“Oh, should you be driving then?”
“Yeah, it's fine, our parents taught me and Josh how to drive really young,” Megan said, and added under her breath, “Which maybe wasn’t such a great idea.” Max looked at her, worried. Seeing his look, Megan said, “But honestly, have you ever seen a cop in this town?”
Max thought, and realized that he rarely saw any policemen in day-to-day life. Besides, Megan seemed like she knew how to drive really well, so Max decided he was probably safe.
They pulled up to Max’s house after several minutes, and Max looked at Megan. “What’s—” he started, but Megan cut him off by taking his face and giving him a long kiss.
After a while, she pulled away and said, “We can figure things out later.”
Max nodded. That sounded good to him. “OK. I should go now. My mom’s gonna kill me.”
“Good luck!” Megan smiled at him as he got out of the car. “I’ll text or call you tonight.”
“Great, see you!”
“Bye,” Megan waved and pulled away from the curb. Max watched as she drove down the street, and turned the corner. After the car was out of sight, he took a deep breath, walked up the front steps and opened the front door.
He went through the front hall and found his mother sleeping on the couch in the living room. He wasn’t sure if he should wake her up or not, so he sat down in the large chair next to the couch. As he sat down, the chair groaned slightly under his weight and his mother jerked up at the noise. She looked around frantically, her eyes finally resting on Max.
“Max!” It was supposed to have been a shout, but it came out more like a croak. Max saw his mother’s eyes begin to tear up, and he couldn’t tell if she was angry or sad or some combination of those and other things. They just sat, looking at each other for a long time.
Finally his mother found her voice again, and said, “Max, why don't we have a talk over breakfast.”
“OK.”
They got up and went into the kitchen. Max poured himself a second bowl of cereal, and his mother began making toast. When the preparing was finished, they sat down across from one another at the kitchen table. Neither of them touched their food.
“Max—” his mother started, but lost her words. Her face contorted and after a moment she spat out, “What the hell were you thinking?”
“Look, I’m sorry Mom, I know I made a mistake.”
“Max, f***! How does that make it better? I have no clue what you did last night. Any number of horrible things could have happened. How is an ‘I’m sorry’ supposed to make me feel better about this?”
“I don't know”
“Well do you have anything else to say about this?”
“Yeah, you know what, I think you’re overreacting. I told you I was at a friend’s house, and that they had everything I need. I stayed at that friend’s house all night and I came home at a reasonable time in the morning. I don’t get why you’re being so overprotective and clingy. I didn’t do anything wrong.”
Max’s mother was taken aback. Max had never before talked back to his mom in such a way before, and even he was a little bit surprised by what he said. His words had subdued his mother. She looked slightly smaller sitting in her chair, and her eyes gazed into the distance. She didn't say anything for several minutes. Max, feeling uncomfortable, but confident he was in control of the situation, asked harshly, “Can I go now?” Max’s mother nodded her head slightly, barely perceptible, but Max took it as a yes. He got up from his chair, and stormed angrily to his room, leaving his uneaten breakfast on the table.

Max looked down at his phone, he’d sent Megan four texts over the course of the weekend, and she hadn’t responded to any of them. Max felt like he was coming on too strong, they had only hooked once up after all. But still, he wanted to talk to her. He wanted to know what she was thinking about them. Were they going to start dating? Was it a one-time thing? They had sex after all. The only Max would know was if she decided to talk to him. He got dressed and ate breakfast glumly, and decided that he would just try to talk to her at school.
Once he was done getting ready his mom drove him to school. The day went by quickly. Between classes, Max went out of his way to try to find Megan, to no avail. It seemed like she wasn’t in school. By the time the final bell rang, Max had given up hope of talking to Megan, and was thoroughly depressed. He walked out the main doors of the building, and began the long trek back to his mom’s house. Since his dad had passed away, and his mom worked during the day, Max had a thirty minute long walk home to look forward to every day. As Max stepped off the school property, a black car pulled up beside him. It looked familiar but he couldn’t say exactly where he’d seen it before.
The window rolled down, “Yo. Max. Want a ride?” It was Josh. Then Max realized, the car was the one that Megan had driven him home in the other day.
“Um,” Max wasn’t sure. He was wary of Josh, and how safe a driver he was, but he also wasn’t looking forward to a half hour walk back to his house.
“Look, yes or no, man?”
Max decided he’d risk it, “Yeah, that would be awesome, thanks Josh.”
“OK, get in.”
Max put his bag into the back seat and then got into the passenger seat next to Josh. Josh started the car and pulled away.
“Do you know where I live?” Max asked.
“Yep.”
Max nodded; he decided that was a good enough answer for someone like Josh. Max wasn’t sure why Josh was giving him a ride, because he didn’t seem to be enjoying it. In fact, he was pushing on the gas aggressively. Josh was going ten miles an hour above the limit in a residential area. Max glanced nervously from the speedometer to Josh to the road. He realized however that he didn’t feel unsafe. Josh handled the road masterfully, even better than Megan had.
Max, feeling a little more comfortable, decided he would try to make conversation. “So, was your sister in school today?”
“No. She was sick.”
“Oh, OK.”
“Look, Max. Don’t get hung up on her. You’re nothing special. Her bedroom is like a revolving door of little dudes like you who she plays with and then doesn’t think about ever again. She’s my sister and I love her and I wouldn’t let another guy say anything bad about her, but she’s a f***ing whore man. If you want my advice, steer clear.”
Max wasn’t sure he did want Josh’s advice, and just nodded in response to his statement. Josh, acknowledging that the conversation was over, turned the radio on to drown out the silence.
After a while, Max realized that they weren’t going to his house. Josh had started out in the right general direction, but now they had gotten way off course. Max opened his mouth to say something about this when Josh suddenly pulled the car over to the side of the road.
“OK Max. You said you did eighty on the road going into town, now, I won’t even make you replicate that, but I’m gonna put you to the test. Get out. We’re switching places.”
Josh opened the door, and Max, confused, did the same. He got out of the car, and Josh, coming around to his side, gestured for him to get in the driver’s seat. Max complied, and sat down behind the wheel, closing the door behind him. He buckled himself in, and Josh did the same in the passenger seat.
Josh took out his phone and looked at it, “OK. We’re exactly six miles away from your house. Get home in ten minutes. Starting now.”
“Wha—” Max started.
“Get going buddy, clock’s ticking!”
Max, completely flustered and confused, did what he was told and stepped on the gas of the car. They shot away from where they had stopped and gunned down the road. Max drove wildly; he barely even knew how to get home from where they were. He took the first left he saw, and then another so that they were going back the way they had come from, back towards town. As he hit a major road without any other cars on it, he glanced down at the speedometer. He knew that to make it home in ten minutes he would have to average sixty miles per hour all the way home. Right now the needle was hovering at right about fifty-five. Max pressed down on the accelerator with his foot and felt the car increase in speed. Over the roar of the engine he heard Josh whoop with excitement. Glancing over to the passenger side, Max saw Josh grinning maniacally with his head out the window like a dog.
Max turned his attention back to the road. He recognized where he was, and took three quick turns, barely slowing down at all to take them. After what seemed like too long on another big road, they reached Max’s neighborhood. Max turned right and then quickly left onto his street. He put on even more speed in the final straightaway before slamming on the breaks and skidding to a halt right in front of his house.
Max took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. Coming back to his senses, he realized that Josh was laughing hysterically beside him. “What? What is it? How did I do?” Max asked, now curious as to whether he passed Josh’s test.
“Dude! Holy f***ing s***!”
“What?”
Josh turned his phone to Max to show him where he had stopped the stopwatch he had been running. It read: 9:58.82.
“So I did it?”
“Hell yeah you did it. F*** man, I would have given you the pass if you had done it twelve minutes. I didn't think you’d actually be able to pull it off. Damn…”
Max didn't know how to respond. He still wasn’t quite sure why Josh had put him up to this challenge at all. After a few minutes of sitting and listening to Josh chuckle in bemused amazement, Max finally decided to ask him.
“Josh, sorry for asking, but why’d you want me to do this?”
Josh turned to him, suddenly very serious. “Max. I’m going to tell you something right now, and if you ever tell anybody else what I’m about to say I will come after you and I will hurt you. I know that sounds f***ed, but this is serious s***. And besides, I know I don't need to worry about you running your mouth, do I?” Max, now extremely scared, shook his head in response to Josh’s question. “Good. So here’s the deal. I’m one of the leaders of a street-racing circle around here. I’m not talking about Justin Beiber drag racing pussy s***. This is serious stuff. We have circuits that we race on and the rules are extremely strict. If you f*** with the rules, the rules f*** you. Also, this s*** is extremely dangerous. People can die in these races. Finally, there’s the money. There’s always money involved. When you enter a race, you have to pay an entrance fee. If you win the circuit, you get the pot of money on that circuit.”
Max sat stunned for a moment. He knew that Josh was into some pretty crazy stuff, but nothing as serious as this. What Josh was describing was so illegal Max couldn’t imagine how much trouble someone could get into for being involved in a street-racing circle.
“And I want you to come to the meeting tomorrow night.”
Max turned to Josh, mouth open and eyes wide. “What?”
“You’re a f***ing good driver Max. You need to come.”
Max was dumbstruck. He could not fathom what he was being asked to do. He just stared at Josh with his mouth open, unable to get a response out. Josh noticed his reaction.
“I know this is pretty heavy dude, why don’t you think about it. Go inside and get your f***ing head back and I’ll text you later and you can tell me then that you’re gonna come.”
Max nodded slowly and got out of the car. He grabbed his backpack and walked up the front steps to his house. Josh gat back into the driver’s seat and closed the door behind him. Just as he was about to pull away, Max called out, “Josh!”
Josh stuck his head out the window, “You made your mind up pretty quick.”
Max shook his head, “No, thanks for the ride.”
Josh once again started laughing and pulled away. Max went inside.
* * *
Max’s phone buzzed on the corner of his desk. He had been doing homework, and was glad for the brief distraction from his math work. He picked up his phone. The display on the screen read: One new text from Megan. Excited, he unlocked his phone to see what she had sent. Hey:). Max smiled. He had been worried Megan was blowing him off, but the smiley face immediately ended that feeling. He responded quickly with the same message, Hey:). After a few minutes, Megan texted back, Whats up?
Not much, just doin homework, wbu?
Saaaaame, ugh I hate it
Yeah, homework suuuucks
Mhmm, hey so Josh told me he saw you today
Yeah that was super crazy, did he tell you everything?
Yeah, he told me you were awesome :)
Really? Thanks haha :)
Yeah, I was wondering if you were around on Friday?
Yeah :) I am, do you want to do something?
Yeah :) do you want to come over?
Yeah that sounds great! :) Wait, should I plan to stay over, like do you wanna, you know…
Hahahahaha you’re too cute, ya I wanna f*** you again if that’s what you’re asking. You weren’t too bad last time. And Max, we’ve f***ing had sex, I think we can drop the middle school style texting, ya?
Max thought about how to respond for a long time. He was elated about spending another night with Megan, but he was also embarrassed that she had called him out for texting so immaturely. He decided upon an ambiguous response that could apply to both of the things she had addressed.
Haha, yeah, of course, sounds good
Okie dokie. Cyaaaaa :)
Bye :)
Max put his phone down, extremely excited for his night on Friday. No sooner had he started working on his math homework again, than his phone buzzed again. Max picked it up, confused. He wondered if Megan had forgotten to tell him something. The display read: One new text from Josh. In his excitement about seeing Megan, Max had entirely forgotten that Josh was expecting an answer from him about the street racing. He swiped to open his phone, and read the message. Sunset Park and Oak Hill Drive. Tomorrow at 8. U in?
Max sat back in his chair. He didn’t know what to do. Getting invited to street races was the kind of thing that only happened to avatars in video games. In real life it was so far from legal and so dangerous. Max was horrified that he had even put himself into the position to get invited to something like this. He was scared to go and felt like it was a bad decision to go.
But something deep in the back of his head told him not to say no. He couldn’t escape the feeling that while he had been driving home at sixty miles per hour that afternoon he had truly felt alive for the first time in his life. That had made him feel better than anything ever had, even stargazing with his dad. Max fought himself in his head, weighing saying yes and no over and over again. After almost an hour of deliberating, Max made up his mind. He opened his phone and sent Josh a two-word message; I’m in.
* * *
Max pulled up to the curb in front of Sunset Park two blocks away from Oak Hill Drive in his old blue Subaru. It had been his dad’s but when his dad passed away his mom had let him keep it for his own use. Max barely ever used it, because it made him sad to think about his dad, but he had thought that tonight was not a night to get dropped off by his mom. Max got out of the car and locked it behind him. He started walking towards where Oak Hill Drive intersected with the street he was on, wondering what he was going to find.
He heard it before he saw it. There was a bend in the road that Max couldn’t see around, but he almost immediately heard the thumping of a strong base line. He could also hear shouts and people talking. He pulled out his phone to check the time. It was 8:07. He hadn't wanted to show up early, because he didn't want to seem like a total jerk off, but now he wondered if he had gotten here too late.
He came around the bend, and saw what looked to be about fifteen guys, maybe a few more, and at least as many cars parked around them. As soon as he came into view, they all stopped whatever conversations or arguments they had been having and looked at him. After a few seconds somebody even turned off the music, although it was unclear where it was coming from. One of the larger guys stepped forward towards Max and said, “Who the f*** are you?”
Max didn’t know what to say. “I—” he started.
“I said who the f*** do you think you are? Answer me b****.” The guy started walking closer towards Max, and Max took a few steps back, getting very scared.
Max was about to turn and run away, and the big guy seemed equally as close to throwing a punch at him, when from the group someone called out, “Whoa, Oscar, cool it man. He’s with me.” Max saw Josh shoulder his way out to the front of the crowd and come in between himself and the guy Josh had called Oscar.
“Oh yeah, what do you think gives you the right to invite someone here?” Oscar asked, turning his attention to Josh.
“We all have a f***ing equal right to bring whoever we want. You know that. Max is cool, trust me.”
“Oh yeah? F*** that b****. He didn’t even bring a car.”
Josh now turned to Max, seriously. “You do have a car with you, right?”
“Yeah, it’s just down the street a ways.”
“Well, I suggest you go get it.”
“Right.” Max turned and started walking back towards his car.
“Max!” Josh called after him. Max turned to look back at him. “Hurry up, we don’t like waiting.” Max nodded, and quickened his pace towards his car. When he reached the bend in the road, he started running, nervous he would not be back quick enough for Josh’s approval. He got to his car and started it up, quickly driving back the few blocks to where he had left the rest of the group. Josh had remained in the same place since Max had left, and Max pulled up beside him and got out. As soon as he got out he could feel the judgment of the other guys on him. He even heard some snickers coming from the crowd. Max wasn’t sure what they were laughing at, until Oscar burst out laughing in loud, obnoxious laughter.
“That’s what you call a car?” He guffawed, “That thing is a piece of s***.”
Max, bewildered, looked at Josh for some guidance of what to say. Josh met his gaze with a look full of disapproval. Josh turned to the rest of the guys standing around, and said, “Please excuse us for a minute, I need to have a word with our new friend.” Josh grabbed Max by the shoulder and pulled him to the back of Max’s car roughly. In a lowered voice, he said through clenched teeth, “What the f*** man? What’s up with you? Be cool. I know it’s not your fault you couldn’t bring a better car, but you could at least say something for yourself. You don’t have to stand there shaking like a dickhead. Why’d you even come if you couldn’t handle this?”
“I didn’t have much f***ing choice in the matter now, did I?” Max responded angrily.
“Oh so you were scared of me, huh? Well now that you’re here, I don’t seem so scary, do I? Look, Oscar’s a dick, and it seems like he hates you. If you want the respect of the circle, you gotta show him you’re not afraid of him, and that you belong here.”
“Wait, so I have to fight him?”
“No, dipshit, you gotta race him.”
“I can't f***ing race him, my car is crap, and there’s no way he isn’t a good driver.”
“You’re right. He’s f***ing good. But you’re better than him, even with your s*** car. Max, I wouldn’t have brought you if I didn't think you could win races. If you can drive the way you did with me the other day you’ll beat him by miles.”
“No, Josh, maybe I should just leave, I can’t race him.”
“F*** that, you’re racing.” Josh walked back around the car. “Everyone, here’s the deal: the kid challenges Oscar to a race. Twice around the park. If he wins, he’s in, no questions asked, tonight.” Max ran around the car, too late to stop Josh from the challenge.
All of the guys went quiet. It wasn’t normal for people to issue challenges on planning days. Usually all racing happened on race days. Oscar once again stepped forward towards Max, “Damn, kid. You got balls. I accept. But, I think one thing is being forgotten. What happens if I win?”
Josh said confidently, “You decide.”
Oscar turned to Josh. “What’d this kid do to get such love from you Joshie? He blow you? Whatever it was, I’ll be nice to the kid. When I win, I don’t want to see his face ever again in this circle, and he should watch himself outside of the circle too.”
“You got yourself a deal,” Josh said. Turning to Max, he said, “You better get in your car, the race starts in five minutes.”
Without a word Max walked over to his car and got in. He turned the engine on, and inched the car forwards to where Josh was motioning him. Max pulled up and Josh knocked on the glass of the window. “You nervous?” he asked, as Max rolled the window down.
“F*** yeah,” Max replied.
“Good, you’d be stupid if you weren’t. And nobody races their best without a little nerves.”
Max nodded his head, and was about to respond, when he heard the roar of a massively loud engine coming from behind Josh.
Josh saw the look on Max’s face from the sound and laughed shaking his head, “That dude is such a total prick. That hunk of scrap metal he’s driving has a lot of decibels on it but not much else. He doesn’t even have the sense to save the gas he just wasted revving his engine. The f***ing moron. He’s just trying to psyche you out, but he’s just proving how little he belongs here. There’s no way you’re gonna lose. His car has the worst acceleration I’ve ever seen. If you get ahead and stay ahead he’ll never catch you. I got faith kid.”
Max felt a little bit better after Josh’s pep talk, and worked up the courage to look over and give Oscar a terse nod as he pulled up beside Max in his Ford. One of the guys Max had seen standing around in the circle walked out in front of the two cars and held his hands up. He shouted, “When I drop my hands, you go. First person to go around the park twice wins. Use any road you want, and no contact allowed, this is the kid’s first time.”
Max just barely caught all of what the guy had said, before he had dropped his arms, and a massive noise had come from the car next to him. Max realized he had to go, so he stomped down on the gas pedal as hard as he could, and shot forward. Josh had been right about Oscar’s acceleration. Oscar had gotten the better reaction, but Max was already passing him, and within seconds was a few lengths ahead of Oscar’s car. Max hit the brakes pretty heavily for the first turn, but he was far enough ahead of Oscar that he wasn’t afraid of losing much ground. He pulled away from the turn and Oscar’s headlights disappeared from view.
Max cruised for the rest of the first lap. Since the first turn, he hadn’t even caught sight of Oscar’s headlights in his rear view mirror. His confidence was growing exponentially, and he smiled to himself when he passed the start line. He saw Josh in the crowd of guys; Josh gave him the thumbs up. Some of the other guys even cheered as Max passed through, it seemed as though nobody like Oscar very much.
Max was doing about forty miles an hour on the road that went around the park. He had started out the race with his foot to the floor, and even after he had lost Oscar he’d maintained about sixty, but he decided to play it safe now, he didn't want to accidentally crash and lose the race because of something stupid. Slowing down was a bad decision though; it made him an easier target.
Max came for the second time to the first bend in the track. He put on his brakes slightly to ease around the turn, but as soon as he came around the corner bright lights shining into his eyes blinded him. He swerved out of the way of the lights and hit the brakes hard, but the lights came right towards him and max was thrown against the window as something hit his car from the side. Max was dazed but he looked around to see Oscar grinning at him from behind the windshield of the other car. Oscar backed his car up to ram it into Max’s side again before pulling away and driving down the road along the race route.
Sunned, Max sat for a moment, unsure of what to do. Oscar had hit his car bad, but he didn't know if he could still drive it or not. All contact had been against the rules, so Max knew he wasn’t going to lose the race, but he couldn't just give up and not even finish it. He thought about calling Josh, but realized that would just make him look like a wimp, so he decided to finish the race. He pushed gently on the gas, to see what it could do, and a horrible grating sound started up, coming from the place where Oscar had rammed him. The car sounded like hell, but it did move a little, so Max tried again, a little harder this time. He ignored the sound and got the car going up to twenty. He had his foot on the gas almost all the way to the floor though, and he was worried by how little the car was putting out. He thought about calling Josh again, but nixed the idea, he was a full lap ahead of Oscar, and it was a long route, Max was confident that he could still make it all the way around before Oscar lapped him.
Max made pretty good time around the park. Obviously he went much slower than the first time around, but he still got to the final straightaway much faster than he though he would. He was just about five hundred feet away from the finish, and he could see all the guys looking at his car, when his heart stopped. The noise his car was making was monstrously loud, but very faintly, and getting increasingly louder, he heard the obnoxious roar of Oscar’s muscle car. Max got worried. He pushed the gas pedal the extra quarter inch down all the way to the floor, but gained pitifully little speed. He was down to about 300 feet, and he saw Oscar’s headlights round the corner behind him. There was nothing else Max could do. He kept his foot all the way down on the pedal and prayed that his now piece of crap little car could hold out against Oscar and his over-powered dickhead car. There were 100 feet left, 50, 25, 10. Oscar’s high-beam headlights were blinding, he was right on Max’s tail.
Max crossed the finish line. Oscar had finished half a length behind him. Max had won, but he wasn’t happy about it. After his nerves left him, he realized how furious he was. He got out of his car and slammed the door, storming over to where Oscar had parked his car.
“What the f*** ids wrong with you?” Max screamed. “You f***ing hid and rammed me when I drove by and wrecked my f***ing car! You’re a f***ing coward and an asshole, and—”
Max didn’t finish, Oscar stood up to meet him and as Max stepped close to him Oscar threw a vicious punch that caught Max square in the jaw. Max hit the ground with a thud. His head was ringing but he heard voices shouting and people were moving all around him, quickly. Max tried to get up, and somebody grabbed his hand to help him. As he got to his feet, Max shook his head to clear all of the fuzziness, and after a few moments was able to focus on the events that were unfolding.
Two of the guys were holding Oscar by one arm each, and Josh stood in front of him, surrounded by a circle of everybody else. It looked to Max like Josh was going off at the big man, “—you rammed his car? After Zeke said explicitly no contact allowed? You f***ing moron! What if he had been going faster, you would have killed the both of you” Josh paused and looked to the sky as if to ask for help, “And you f***ing ruined his car!” He continued. “Who the hell is supposed to pay for that? Certainly not you, you don't win enough races to have the money to buy your own groceries.” Josh leaned in close to the big man, but before he could say what he was about to say, Oscar spit a massive, tobacco filled gob of spit into Josh’s face. Josh stood straight up and calmly wiped the spit off of his face before winding up and violently punching Oscar in the face.
Josh punched the big ma again and again until his face was running with blood and his head lolled to one side like a bobble head doll. After Oscar stopped crying out in pain, Josh grabbed Oscar by his hair and said, “You disgust me, even after all of that he still beat you. I think I speak for all of us when I say that we never want to see you again.” He dropped Oscar’s head, and the two guys holding his arms dropped him too into a groaning heap on the ground. The three of them wiped the blood on their hands onto a rag that Josh had in his car, before Josh remembered about Max. He ran over to Max, a worried look on his face, “Are you OK?” he asked.
“Better than Oscar over there,” Max smiled nervously. He’d never seen anybody be so brutal to another human being and he wasn’t sure what might set Josh off.
“F*** him,” was all Josh had to say about that, “But f*** dude, you’re bleeding, I’ll take you to my house and get you cleaned up, or maybe Megan’ll want to do it,” he said letting out a short chuckle, “You deserve it.”
“Wait, what about my car?”
“Give your keys to Zeke and Smitty, I know a guy who’ll fix it for you. It’s some bad denting and a broken axle, pain to drive, but not so bad to fix if you know where to look. If you could win a race in a car in that shape, you know how to handle a car my friend. Repairs’ll be cheap so they’re on me.” Max handed his car keys to the guy he recognized must be Zeke, the one who started the race, and Zeke gave him a fist bump.
“Sweet race man,” Zeke smiled.
“Thanks,” Max smiled too.
“Okie dokie, Maxachokie, get into my car, I’m taking you to my house.” Max started walking over towards Josh’s car, but Josh stopped him, “Wait, Max. Don’t you want to know how you did tonight?”
“What do you mean?” Max was confused.
Josh smiled, “You’re in dude, welcome to the Ring.”

The bell rang in Max’s North American history class so he put all of his books inside his bag and got up to go. He sat right in the middle of the class, so he passed through the door right about in the middle of the pack of kids leaving the room. It was the end of the day, so Max headed down the hall to his locker so he could grab his coat before he headed home for the night. He came to his locker, unlocked his combination lock, and opened the door. He took his jacket off the hook on the back wall of the locker and closed it up. He was greeted by a familiar smile waiting for him behind the open door.
“Iris!” Max let out, surprised.
“Yup, it’s me, old buddy old pal.” Iris’ voice sounded cold and sarcastic, and Max realized that the smile she was giving him was utterly fake.
“Hi,” he said stupidly.
“Hi. You free right now? Good.” She said before he could respond. “Let’s go get a coffee.” She grabbed his arm, and dragged him outside to her car. He got in, not wanting to make a big fuss. She drove quickly to a coffee shop nearby without saying a word. They got out of the car and went in. Max didn't feel like much, but he ordered a coffee to be polite, and Iris did the same. After they had gotten their drinks they sat down at a table in the corner. Max looked around the shop as they sat down, hoping he wouldn’t see anyone he knew.
“What are you looking for, Megan or her friends? Don’t want to be seen with your best friend now that you two are official?” She had hit the nail on the head, and Max gave her a guilty look. “Jesus.” Iris sighed exasperatedly and shook her head, looking at Max disgustedly.
She leaned forward. “You could have just told me, Max. You could have just talked to me like a friend and everything would have been fine.” She had kept her voice low, but her speech was animated and fast, and her eyes were tearing up.
Max was confused; he wasn’t exactly sure what she was talking about. It was true, he felt bad that he had just kind of ignored her the past month or so, but she hadn’t been very clear what she was so upset about. He answered with the stupidest thing he could have said, “Wait, how did you know Megan and I are official?” They had just decided that the night before, and Max hadn’t told anybody about it.
“You’re an idiot. It was all over her twitter last night.”
“Oh.”
“Anyway, do you have an answer for me?”
“To be honest Iris, I’m not really sure what you’re talking about.”
Iris let out a little squeal of anger, as if she couldn’t contain herself. “Oh my god! That night that I took you out for your birthday. I threw myself at you. Literally! I had liked you forever, I still do, and so I went for it that night, and you were really into it and everything. And then, after that night it’s like I don’t even exist to you anymore. I don't know if you’ve noticed, but we haven’t talked once since then.” Max had to be honest, he hadn’t realized they hadn’t talked in so long. Iris continued, “Then, to top it all off, a few weeks later, you start messing around with queen slut of the school,”
Max got a bit offended when Iris called Megan that, “Hey—”
But Iris wasn’t done, “It’s like I don’t even exist, and my feelings are just there for you to step on. What does she have that I don’t have? I’m hot. What is it? Does she have sex with you?”
“Well yeah.”
“I would have had sex with you, Max. I loved you.”
“Iris, just you saying that is weird, like we’ve been best friends for so long. Yeah you’re hot, but I couldn’t ever like you like that…”
“Yeah, I’ve started to get a similar feeling. We were friends for so long, Max. You’ve already hurt me enough, but for your mom’s sake, and your own, please stop going down whatever road you’re going down, before you hurt yourself.” She got up and walked out of the shop without another word.
* * *
Max lay in Megan’s bed. Megan was just coming back into the room with two cups of hot cocoa, wearing nothing but Max’s sweater. He thought it was the hottest she had ever looked. She sat down on the edge of the bed and handed Max one of the mugs.
“Mmm, thanks.”
“Of course babe,” Megan smiled slyly as she slid up next to Max on the bed and leaned against him.
“What’s up,” Max said warily, seeing the expression on her face.
“Nothing,” she giggled back. “Finish your cocoa and then I’ll tell you.”
Max didn’t know what Megan was up to, but he knew better than to pry by now. Megan was horribly stubborn, and it ruined the fun if she got angry. They sat without saying anything for a while, sipping their cocoa. Megan started running her toes up and down Max’s leg, and Max thought it was hot, but they had just done it, so he didn’t think it was a sign she wanted to go again right away. He still enjoyed the feeling though, and made his hot chocolate last as long as possible.
Max swallowed down the last mouthful of his drink and put his mug on Megan’s bedside table.
“So what is it you want to tell me?”
“Oh yes!” Megan got up excitedly and put her mug next to Max’s on the table. She then reached into the pocket of Max’s sweater and pulled out a plastic baggy with what looked like green dirt in it.
“Is that—” Max started to ask, but trailed off. “How did it get into my sweater? That’s not mine!”
“Calm down, I swiped it from Josh’s room,” Megan said, smiling. “You wanna try some?”
“I don’t know, I’ve never done anything like this before,” Max said uncertainly.
“C’mon, it’s fun. You just smoke a little bit and then everything seems better.”
“I don’t know Megan. I don’t think it’s such a good idea.”
“Ugh, stop being such a prude Max. We just f***ing had sex, you’re a big enough boy now to try some pot.”
Max felt trapped. He was nervous about trying it, but he was curious too, and he could tell that Megan would be angry with him if he didn’t try at least a little.
“OK, OK, I’ll try a little.”
Megan smiled and jumped up on the bed next to him. “Good,” she said and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek, before opening the bag and taking some of the stuff out. She put it onto a little white square of paper in a line, and then rolled the paper into a joint. She put the joint in her mouth and lit it up with a lighter she took out of the sweater pocket. She breathed in deeply, sucking down the smoke, and gave Max a big smile.
She handed the joint to Max and nervously, he sucked in on the joint just a little bit. The smoke burned his throat and he coughed, his eyes starting to water. Megan thought that this was hysterically funny, and once Max had stopped coughing, he saw the funny side of it as well. He took another puff on the joint and smiled.
* * *
Max was sprawled out on Megan’s couch. They had smoked the whole first joint and then a second one, and Max could barely remember what they had done. He was just coming back into his senses now, and it looked like Megan was in the same place. Max looked around, the TV was on and it was playing infomercials at full volume.
“Holy s***,” Megan said from where she was sitting. “That was crazy.”
“Yeah, what time is it?” They looked at the set top box for the TV. The display read 3:48. “Fuuuuuuck. My mom is gonna crucify me. I’ve stayed out late so much in the past few weeks, she said I needed to be home early tonight.”
Megan rolled out of the chair she was sitting in, and went over to where Max was sitting on the couch. “I mean no disrespect when I say this, but f*** your mom. You ‘re basically an adult, you can do whatever the f*** you want.”
“Yeah, I know, and I mean, I’ve been able to keep the driving a secret so far, even when the car got wrecked, but when she finds out about that I’m gonna be in deep s***.”
“From what Josh tells me you’re nowhere near deep s*** with the driving. He said you’ve already made two hundred bucks in two races. That’s what’s important, f*** your mom.”
Max felt better knowing that Megan was impressed with how he’d been driving. He’d gone with Josh to a few more meetings, and ass promised his car had been fixed up and he’d been back in races twice. He hadn’t won anything yet, but a second place and a third place had put him up a good deal of cash, and now that he’d gotten into the swing of the ring, and made some friends there, he was proud of how he was doing. “Yeah, f*** my mom,” he concluded his train of thought.
Megan stroked his head and put her face right next to his. “Or,” she whispered in her most seductive voice into his ear, “You could f*** me.” She slipped his sweater over her head to reveal absolutely nothing underneath. Max grinned and let himself succumb to Megan’s body.

Max thought a lot on his walks home from school. It was pretty much the only time he had to himself to think. He didn’t have to walk home. Now that he had a car of his own he could have driven to school every day, there was plenty of parking around the school. He liked having that half an hour to himself on the days he wasn’t hanging out with Megan though. It gave him time to get all of his thoughts together. Which he needed.
This particular day Max was thinking about his friends. Or rather if he had any friends at all. For his whole life, Max had never been a popular kid with a large circle of friends, or even someone who people said hi to in the hallway at school. Max had never thought about it like he had socially failed, but just that his life was what it was. He was having second thoughts though. That day for instance, Megan went off after school with her massive group of friends to the mall after school, which left Max with only the option of heading home by himself.
A few months ago he would have called Iris and they would have spent the afternoon doing homework and getting coffee and hanging out, no question. She had been his best friend for the longest time, and he had always been able to count on her to hang out. He had totally taken that for granted. Since his birthday though, all of that had gone to s***, obviously.
Max thought about Iris. He wasn’t sure what she’d been doing since they’d stopped talking to each other. She’d always been friendly with other girls he guessed, but he hadn’t really paid much attention to her since he’d started seeing Megan. Now that he thought hard about it, she never sat alone at lunch, and she was usually talking to people after school. Max thought it was strange. He wasn’t jealous or anything. He just didn't know if he should be angry that she had found it so easy to branch out and he didn’t have any new friends. Yeah he had Megan, but she didn’t count. If Megan hadn’t thrown herself at him he never would have been able to get her. If Max was being honest with himself, she had him on a string around her finger.
Max saw a small pebble on the sidewalk in front of him and kicked it into the road. He decided that this was a sufficient solution for his feelings about Iris.
There was Josh. Max was friendly with Josh when they saw each other, and Max knew that Josh was his man in the ring. Josh had his back in the ring. Josh didn't ever talk to Max unless he needed to though. Max thought Josh saw him as a sort of protégé, but he knew that Josh wasn’t really his friend. If Max was ever in a pinch and needed to call someone, he knew that he wouldn't call Josh. Josh was weird. Max didn’t know if he had any friends. He wasn’t home very much, Max was probably at his house with Megan more than he was there, but Max didn’t know anyone he hung out with, or even liked very much. He didn’t even seem that cool with the other guys in the ring. He always kept himself a little aloof, which Max thought gave him a sense of authority in the group even though he was one of the youngest members. Max shook his head and kicked another rock into the road. That was enough thinking about Josh.
There were the rest of the guys in the ring though. Max wondered if they were his friends. He didn’t think so. He had only known them for a few weeks, and the few times he’d spent he’d won money off the ones he’d talked to and he hadn’t really talked to anyone else. He didn’t really consider that a friendship. Max kicked a third rock into the road.
The rock thing wasn’t really a solution though, and Max couldn’t stop thinking about Iris. It really bugged him that the person he had so taken for granted for so long as his only friend could so easily just turn around and adapt to life without him so easily. Was there something wrong with Max so that he couldn't make other friends? It wasn’t like he didn’t want to be popular. There were some kids who were like that; they didn't like having attention or talking to other people or anything like that. But they were weird. Max wasn’t one of those kids. At least he didn’t want to be.
There were times when Max wished he had some sort of special device, like an earpiece, or a pair of glasses that would tell him everything about what other people were thinking about him. It would be so much easier like that. Then there would be no worrying about what other people thought. Then it would be so much easier to make friends. Max wouldn’t have to walk home by himself. Max couldn’t convince himself that he didn't enjoy his fair share of personal time, and walking was one of his favorite tings, but it was really the walks that killed him. Being alone with just his thoughts and his footsteps, it was easy to realize the emptiness all around him. No one was there but him. It was hard to breathe for a moment. It felt like a metal blanket was being wrapped tightly around Max’s chest.
He kept walking, and the feeling was gone by the time he arrived home.
* * *
Iris sat on her bed and looked at the photo her mom had taken of her and Max the previous summer. She kept it in a small frame on her bedside table and looked at it every night before going to sleep. She closed her eyes and thought about the time when they had been best friends, spending every day together. Why did she have to ruin it? Now she was the loneliest she had ever been. She had some friends, sure, but nobody she really felt close to, like she had with Max. A lot of nights she fell asleep with tears forming in her eyes. Max was happy though. He had grown a few inches, so now he was taller than her, and he had a car and could drive and everything. And he was dating the hottest girl in the school. Iris turned over and sobbed openly into her pillow. How had Max done so much better than she had?
* * *
Max swerved out of the way. He saw the red Mazda just in time to avoid a sideswipe, but the maneuver lost him a little speed and he crossed the finish line in second place behind the flashy sports car. Max pulled up and got out of the car, slamming the door behind him. Max crossed his arms and angrily sat down on the hood of his car. He didn’t move when Josh and Zeke came over to talk to him.
“Dude, stop f***ing pouting, you just made three hundred f***ing dollars.” Josh said brusquely.
“Yeah, c’mon man, you just got second place in a big race, that’s a good finish.” Zeke added encouragingly.
“I could have gotten first though, I would have too if—”
“If what? If you weren’t racing against Wheels? We call him that for a reason you know.” Josh said harshly. “You know what everyone else sees when you come off second to Wheels and sit here pouting like a f***ing two-year-old? They see a f***ing two-year-old who thinks he’s better than everyone and who isn’t even happy making three hundred dollars in one race. You better watch yourself Max, or people will stop liking you around here.” Josh turned away and walked over to his own car stiffly.
Zeke saw Max’s strained look and sat down on the hood next to him. “Hey man don’t pay any attention to him, he’s whacked or something. Close losses are hard, we’ve all been there, but you can’t let them get to you.”
Max looked at Zeke. They’d only ever had a few brief conversations together, but it seemed like Zeke was a really nice guy. “Thanks, Zeke,” Max said softly.
“Hey, you know what? Me and a few of the other guys are gonna go get some drinks, you wanna come?”
Max was about to say no, but he realized that he didn’t have anything better to do. In fact he didn’t have anything at all to do.
“Yeah, why not” Max said as casually as possible. He’d never ‘gotten drinks’ before, and he was a bit nervous to drink for the first time, especially with people who had probably been drinking for ages. He had smoked a few times with Megan, but that was different, he wasn’t sure what drinking was going to do to him.
Max got into Zeke’s car, leaving his own in the lot until he had time to go back for it. He looked out the window and saw Josh walking off into the woods by himself.
“Should we ask him if he wants to come too?” Max asked Zeke.
“Wow kid I underestimated you. After he was that much of a dick to you, you still wanna invite him?”
Max nodded, unsure of what else to do.
Zeke looked at him strangely for a moment, and then shook his head. “Nah, we’d better let him be. When he’s like this I don't even know what he does, but he always does it alone.”
Max nodded again, still uncertain of what Zeke meant.
“Don't worry about it, he’ll be OK. Let’s go have some fun and get totally s***-faaaaaaaaced!” And with that Zeke stomped on the gas, leaving Josh behind.
* * *
Max felt himself getting fuzzy and cloudy. He was on his second drink, and he was way behind the rest of the pack. He didn't understand how they could all just keep going and going. They were of course, getting more and more drunk, but Max felt like if he took another sip he would pass out.
“Cheers to the first two finishers in the race tonight!” Wheels came up behind Max and slapped him on the back. Max raised his glass woozily and clinked it against Wheels’ fifth, getting a bout of roaring laughter from the drunk man. Max smiled nervously, trying to keep himself standing upright.
Somebody else—Max couldn’t quite tell who—added to the hilarity, “Enough of this pussy-ass piss water, let’s break out the big guns!” A chorus of cheers and exclamations of ascent met the shout. Max, unsure of what was going on, turned around to look for Zeke, to ask him what the big guns were. Zeke was otherwise occupied, though. Zeke was pulling out of his pocket a small bag filled with white powder. Max had a feeling he knew what it was, and his stomach started to sink in fear, cocaine was serious stuff.
Zeke emptied the bag onto the table and with a small piece of what looked like a mirror he divided the pile into several small rows. “First line to the supplier!” Zeke shouted, and using a small metal straw, quickly inhaled one of the lines on the table. He handed the straw to Wheels, “Second line to tonight’s champion!” Wheels, with all the bravado he could muster in his incredibly drunken state, sniffed up the next line with a flourish, and sat back, dazed by the drugs.
Zeke grabbed the straw out of Wheels’ hand, “C’mon man, you can’t do it all.” Straw in hand, Zeke turned to Max. “Third line,” he said, a mischievous grin breaking out across his face, “goes to the runner-up of tonight’s race.”
The room got quiet and all eyes turned to Max. “Uhh—” Max gulped. He definitely did not want to snort coke for the first time. Especially after having just drank for the first time.
“Just do it man, it feels amazing,” Zeke said, holding out the straw to Max.
“I second that,” said Wheels, dreamily.
“Do it, do it, do it!” Zeke started, and within seconds the whole crowd was shouting at Max to do it.
“OK, OK, fine.” Max said reluctantly. He took the straw out of Zeke’s hand, and trying not to drop it with his sweaty fingers, he laid one end on the table and put his nose to the other. Sniffing in hard, he dragged the straw quickly across the line, inhaling the tiny white particles.
It was like somebody had gotten inside his head and punched him from behind his eyes. It stung, and burned, and he recoiled, dropping the straw. After the initial effect had worn off, Max began to feel a strange lightness in his body. Everything became brighter, and he all of the sudden, he was happier than he’d ever been in his life. He let out a great sigh. The room cheered.
“As good as I promised?” Zeke asked, putting his arm around Max’s shoulders.
“Better.” Max said, and smiled dumbly. Zeke laughed. “Thank you.” Max said, slightly slurred in his daze.
“Hey, that's what friends are for.”

Max heard his phone ringing. He rolled onto his side to look at the screen, wondering what time it was and why somebody was calling him. The screen read, 6:04 AM Call from Megan. Max picked it up,
“Hey, what’s up?” Max asked groggily.
“Max—” Megan’s voice wavered. Max couldn’t tell if she was happy or upset.
“Megan, what’s going on?”
“Max you have to answer this completely truthfully or else we’re through.”
“Wh—” Max started, but Megan interrupted him.
“Max, did you do drugs last night?” Megan asked seriously.
Max hesitated. How did she know? For a brief moment he considered lying to her, but decided against it. “Yes.” He replied in an equally serious voice, wondering what Megan was so worked up over.
“Oh my God, Max! I can’t believe you and Josh could be so stupid? What were you thinking doing that with him?”
“Wait, what? Josh didn’t come with us last night. I did one line of coke with Zeke and Wheels, but Josh wasn’t there. He went off into the woods by himself last night.” Max was confused, what had Josh done the previous night?
“What?” Megan’s voice paused on the other line. “Oh.” She sighed a little, and then started sobbing into the phone.
“Megan, what happened?” Max asked, worried.
“I’m sorry I got mad at you Max,” Megan said through her tears, “I mean coke is pretty serious s***, but I thought you were with Josh, and—” her voice broke off again. “Max, can you just come over? I need you here now.”
“Don’t worry. On my way.”
* * *
The door opened, and Megan burst through the door, hugging Max tightly around the neck. “What’s going on?” Max asked softly into her ear.
“It’s Josh,” Megan started crying.
“What about him?”
“He’s in the hospital, Max.”
“Why? What happened?”
“Max, last night when you left him, he OD’d. On heroin.”
“Oh my god. That’s horrible. How is he doing?”
“We don’t know. He’s in a coma right now, and the doctor’s don’t know if he’s going to make it.”
“Megan, I am so, so sorry.”
“Max, it’s not your fault. Just promise me. Please promise me that you won’t ever mess around with those drugs again, OK?”
“Yeah of course,” Max said, holding Megan tighter.
“No, you have to say it.” Megan broke away from Max’s hug to look him in the eye.
“OK. I promise, OK? I promise I won’t mess around with dangerous drugs again.”
“Thank you.” Megan hugged him again. “I can’t risk losing you and Josh.”
“You don’t need to worry. I’m not going anywhere.”
* * *
Max got up from the couch. He had stayed with Megan through the morning, watching Disney movies and cuddling. He was a bit bored of children’s musicals by this point, but he knew that he couldn’t leave Megan like this. He opened the fridge and poured himself a glass of lemonade. He realized that Megan might want some, so he called, “Megan, do you want some lemonade?”
He heard her say something, but couldn’t make out what it was. Walking into the living room, lemonade in hand, he asked, “Sorry what was that?”
“No lemonade. Could you get the door though?”
Max was confused, but then heard another knock coming from the door. “Yeah, for sure.”
Max crossed the room, and opened the front door. The door swung open to reveal two policemen standing on the porch. “Hi,” said the one closest to Max.
Max stood stunned for a moment, his heart in his throat, but then composed himself enough to say, “Hi. How can I help you?”
The policemen exchanged glances, before the first one spoke again, “I’m officer Jefferies, and this is my partner, officer Talb. We were looking for a Miss Megan Brown. Is she here by any chance?”
“Yeah, I’ll get her for you.” Max turned to look at Megan, a worried expression on his face. Megan looked at him annoyed.
“Max where are your manners?” She said tiredly, and then louder, “Please come in officers, make yourselves comfortable.”
Max abashedly opened the door to allow the policemen into the house. Jefferies and Talb stepped into the house and sat down on chairs facing the sofa, opposite Megan.
Megan said politely to the officers, “Max was just pouring some lemonade, would either of you like some?”
Talb waved his hand in dissent, but Jefferies remarked, “That would be wonderful, thank you.”
Max took his cue, and went back into the kitchen. He opened the fridge again and poured another glass of lemonade for the police officer. He couldn’t understand why Megan was treating him like such a child. Frustrated, he put the lemonade back into the fridge and brought the glass out to officer Jefferies.
“I really don’t know anything about what happened last night,” Megan was explaining. “He left here at about eight last night, and I didn't hear from him until we got the call from the hospital.” She sniffled. Max sat down next to her and put his arm around her.
“I’m so sorry to have to put you through this,” Talb said softly, “But it’s really important we get on top of this before we have a heroin epidemic on our hands. Do you know anybody who may have been with him last night?”
Megan glanced at Max with worried look in her eyes. Jefferies saw the look, and, turning to Max, asked, “How about you son? Do you know anything about what happened last night?”
“No—” Megan started, but Max interjected.
“Yeah, I was with Josh last night.” He had though about trying to play it off like he had no idea what was going on until the cops left, but he knew he was a bad liar and if that plan ever went south he’d be in serious trouble. He’d just leave out all the parts where he was doing illegal stuff. That shouldn’t be hard at all.
Jefferies and Talb both sat straighter in their chairs as they heard that. “What can you tell us about what happened?” Jefferies inquired, with an edge in his voice now.
“I can’t tell you much. I wasn’t with him for very long. I was hanging out with some friends, and he was there. Then we all left, but he stayed behind, and we didn't know what he was doing until I got a call from Megan this morning.”
Jefferies gave Max a skeptical look, “Son what you just told me was the most vague, least helpful piece of evidence I have ever gotten from any witness ever,” he said angrily. “Do you have a real story or are you just trying to waste my time?”
Max, doing his best not to look nervous, replied as calmly as possible, “I’m sorry, that’s all I’ve got.”
“Really? You don’t remember where you were ‘hanging out’ with your friends or what you were doing, or anybody else that was there?”
“Well,” Max started hesitantly, “we were hanging out at Sunset Park. Zeke was just showing everybody his new car—”
Talb pounced on that, “Do you know this Zeke’s last name by any chance?”
“Um,” Megan shot Max a warning glance, but he didn’t see it in his nervousness. “I think, Bou-something? Bouchard?”
Talb got up from his chair and reached behind his back to pull his handcuffs from where they usually were on his belt. “You have the right to remain silent,” he said. “Anything you say can and will be used against you…”
* * *
Max leaned back in the metal chair. He felt like he wanted to sleep, but the bright lights in the room were keeping him awake, and every few minutes or so Talb or Jefferies would come into the room. Sometimes they would ask him questions, sometimes they would ask if he needed anything, sometimes they would just sit and wait for him to talk. So far none of their strategies had worked though, Max was very proud of the fact that he hadn’t opened his mouth once since they had read him his rights, it made him feel like he was a cool criminal who could outlast the system.
He knew that he wouldn’t last forever though, and every time he heard the bolt slide back to let the door swing open he winced a little bit inside, hoping that they wouldn’t break him this time. Right at that moment, max heard the grating sound of the thick door swinging open. Jefferies walked in and took a seat opposite Max. He set down two cups of coffee, and pushed one towards Max.
“Here kid. I imagine you’re pretty tired. You look like you could use one of these.”
Max nodded his appreciation, not looking the officer in the eye. He grabbed the cup and took a long sip, not caring that the drink was burning his tongue. He put the cup down, and settled back in his chair. Jefferies rocked forward in his chair and looked at Max intensely.
“OK, look kid. Talb is a hard-ass, and he is very close to coming in here and beating the answers he wants out of you. I’m not like that and frankly I don't fancy getting my badge taken away for beating up a perp, but I’m losing my patience too. Just—” he broke off and rubbed his hands through his hair, frustrated. “I wasn’t supposed to tell you this, but I’m just going to be straight with you. Your mom is out in the precinct lobby with that little girlfriend of yours kicking up a big fuss because we don’t have evidence to keep you shut up in here. The fact of the matter is, we don’t want to keep you here either. We’re after bigger fish. The only thing is that you’re the closest thing we’ve come to Zeke in months, so if you just talk we’ll let you off with a warning, OK? I’m sure you’re not a horrible kid, and jail time on your permanent record won’t look good.”
“What if I don’t talk?”
“What do you think the coffee was for kid? You’re telling me that after drinking that much you won’t have to take a piss in a few minutes, and that if we test that piss we won’t find any substances that are less than savory for a minor like you?” Max looked up in shock, his face suddenly very pale. “This isn't our first rodeo, kid,” Jefferies chuckled. “Look, tell us what you can, and you can flush that incriminating evidence down your own toilet, but if you decide to wait till you gotta go, we’ll have reason to keep you here a while longer, and the deal will be off. Your choice.”
Max looked into his cup of coffee. “F***.”
* * *
“Oh my god Max! Are you OK?” Megan ran to him to hug him as he walked into the lobby of the precinct. She threw her arms around him.
“Jesus, Max. I was so worried. What did you do to get thrown in there for so long?”
“I don’t even know, Mom.”
“What the hell do you mean, you don't know?”
Megan interjected, “Veronica, maybe we should just let Max be for a little while. He’s been in there a long time.”
Max’s mother eased up a little bit. “You’re right Megan. I’m sorry Max, let’s get you home. You look like you need some sleep.”
“Yeah, I feel like it. What time is it?”
“Ten o’clock,” his mother replied.
“Like at night?”
“No Max,” Megan said. “It’s ten in the morning. They’ve had you in there for the whole night.”
“S***.”

“F***!” Max said, throwing his phone on his bed. This was the fourth time he had called Megan, and she hadn’t responded once. Max walked out of his room and down into the kitchen. He opened the fridge, but there was no food, so he closed it again. He opened up all the cabinets, looking for something to eat, but he couldn’t find anything, not even a granola bar or cereal. Disappointed, Max went back up to his room and picked up his phone again. He was bored and upset, and he wanted to talk to somebody, so he scrolled through his contacts and eventually decided to see if Josh was around. After the O.D. he had spent some time in rehab, but Max thought that he should be out by now. There was no answer. Max decided Josh must still be in rehab, because he hadn’t heard anything from Josh about the ring in a while, so he probably just wasn’t back from the rehab center yet.
Max put his phone down and slipped off the pair of jeans he was wearing. He went over to his bureau and took out a pair of athletic shorts from a drawer. He decided that if nobody was around, he would just pound out his loneliness into the pavement on a run. He’d never done it before, but he’d read that it helped online, so he figured it would be a good idea to try it. He changed his socks and put on his worn out sneakers and went downstairs. Max realized that he should probably keep track of where he was and how long he’d been running, so he went back upstairs to get his phone from the bed and quickly download an app that would track his time and location with GPS. Phone in hand, Max went back downstairs, and after a few quick stretches, he went out the front door and started jogging down the street.
For the first ten or fifteen minutes of the run, Max felt horrible. His lungs couldn’t hold all the air he needed to breath deeply enough. His legs were on fire. He was getting lightheaded and woozy. Several times, he considered stopping and walking home, but every time that thought crossed his mind he remembered exactly what awaited him at home. Absolutely nothing. And then he would get a new wind, knowing that he had nothing better to do than keep going. Every time the thought came into his head, Max got a little angrier, and pushed a little harder, and it got a little easier for him to keep going.
After some time, Max looked up and saw that the sun was setting. He had no clue how that had come so quickly; he had only left his house at four. Max looked down at his phone, realizing that he had been so focused on just running he hadn’t paid any attention to the app he had downloaded. The screen read: 24.2 mi, 3hr 16min. Shocked at how far he’d come, Max looked around. He realized he had no idea where he was. Both sides of the road were lined with a thick forest, and there were no landmarks in sight.
He looked at his phone, and swiped the screen to the GPS display, hoping to find directions back home. The map didn't appear on the screen however. Max looked to the upper right corner of the screen to see the ‘no signal’ symbol flashing red. “F***!” he screamed into the quickly darkening sky. Not knowing what else to do, Max turned back the way he came, and started walking into the dark.
* * *
Max held himself in a tight embrace as he walked along the cracked border of old pavement lining the road. Shivering slightly, he hopped from the comforting glow of one streetlight to the next, constantly looking over his shoulder for any sight of a car coming his way that could possibly provide some refuge from his suffering. The sweat that Max had worked up on his run quickly cooled on his skin and left him damp and chilly without any sort of outerwear. He looked at his phone once again to see what time it was, and if he had miraculously stumbled upon a zone in which he got a signal. No luck though. Not only was there no signal, but upon unlocking the device a message flashed onto the screen that said Warning: Battery Critically Low. After Max bitterly closed out of the notification, he checked to see what time it was. It was barely past eight, but Max had been out by himself for several hours already, and he just wanted to be home. H had no other options though, so he trudged along, hoping beyond hope that somebody would drive by and take pity on him.
Just as he had started to lose hope of anybody finding, he heard the faint hum of the engine coming from down the road behind him. Suddenly invigorated with the prospect of being inside something and not alone in the cold, Max turned around to face the car. When the car crested the rise in the road Max frantically started waving to try and get the car’s attention. As the vehicle grew nearer it started slowing down, and Max grew less spasmodic in his gestures, settling for sticking his thumb out awkwardly like he’d seen hitchhikers do in movies.
The car, the driver having seen Max’s movements, drew to a stop in front of him. Max went around to the driver’s side window and leaned over to talk to the driver about a ride. Instead of rolling the window down though, the driver opened the door violently, hitting Max hard in the face. Max’s nose exploded in pain and he felt hot liquid running down his face. He staggered backward and regained his composure to face the driver, who was stepping out of the car.
A familiar voice greeted him; “I thought that was you, bastard.” Max did his best to overcome the dizziness that was coming on and looked up at the face of the man before him. His suspicions were confirmed, as he found himself eye to eye with the massive form of Wheels. Max put his hands up, and tried to explain himself, but he had so much blood in his mouth that it came out as a muffled grunt.
“What was that, Maxie?” Wheels took a step forward. “Did you say something about how you got the ring shut down?” He took another step forward and swung his huge fist hard into Max’s stomach. “That was my life, you motherf*er!” He swung again, hitting Max in the side. “Now I make no money,” he swung again, “Half my friends are locked up,” he swung once more, “So f*** you!” Max fell to the ground, bleeding and sore. Wheels took a step back, seeming to have had enough, before Max heard another familiar voice from behind the big man.
“Let someone else in on the fun, brother.” Max groaned inwardly, as Wheels stepped aside to reveal the person Max wanted to see least in the world. “So we meet again, b****.” Oscar leaned down and put his face right in front of Max’s and whispered through clenched teeth, “What poetic justice. I will f***ing kill you.” Oscar unleashed on Max with a furious barrage of punches and kicks to the head, face and body. After a few minutes of his brutal assault, Oscar relented, and Max, in his state of barely consciousness, heard the swishing sound of a switchblade. He couldn't tell if it was real or if he was imagining it, but he thought he heard Oscar laughing maniacally as he knelt down so that he was right next to Max.
He held the blade right in front of Max’s face, so that he could just make out, with his blurry vision, the bloody mass of his own face. “Are you ready to die, kid?” Oscar asked, placing the cold blade on Max’s cheek and pressing down so that the skin broke, and a new stream of blood was added to the already flowing torrent from Max’s nose and forehead. Oscar drew the knife down Max’s face and to his throat, and Max felt the man’s body tense up, ready to cut him to pieces.
Just when Max thought his life was over, however, another familiar voice shouted out from behind Oscar, “Stop! Don't kill him.” Max’s head hit the pavement hard as Oscar threw him down in response to the command. Max, unable to move, tried to maintain consciousness as he listened to their conversation.
“Why the f*** not man? That kid is your worst enemy as much as he is mine. He deserves to die for what he did to us.” Max could make out Oscar’s voice.
“Look, I definitely don’t like what he did to us either, but that doesn’t mean he should die. None of us are dead.” The familiar voice countered.
“We were all affected by it though. Now I don’t make any money, and three of my best friends are locked up.” Wheels added, in favor of the murder.
“Guys, he didn’t have a choice, they were interrogating him.” The familiar voice said, still defending Max.
“I can't f***ing believe it,” Oscar began shouting, “You still have a f***ing soft spot for the kid.”
“No I don’t.”
“God f***ing damn it,” said Wheels, “What the f*** are we doing? You’re just a kid too, Oscar, do it.”
“No! Look, let me have at him one time, and then lets just leave him, and if he dies, he dies, OK?”
“Fine.”
“Fine.”
“OK. Glad we’re all agreed.”
Max heard footsteps approaching him from the direction of the car, and realized that familiar voice was about to have his turn beating Max into a pulp. Max tensed his body as much as he could through the pain in preparation for the blows to come. Familiar voice knelt down beside Max, and leaned in close, and whispered into Max’s ear, “You’re lucky I’m here to save you, motherf*er. Next time you will not live, I promise.” The small man then leaned back to coil his arm, and even through Max’s injuries he could make out the face of his attacker and his suspicions were confirmed. Josh’s face glared down at him for a split second before Max’s head was smashed into the pavement and all that he heard was silence.

Max awoke in his bed. His chest hurt, as it had every morning since he had come home from the hospital. As did his legs, his face, and really every other part of his body. He had spent three weeks in the hospital total, and about half of that time was in the ICU. He had no recollection of how he had gotten there, and nor of the first four days he had been there, as he had gone into a coma. Afterwards he was told that a man in a pickup truck had found him lying in the road in a pool of his own blood, and had rushed him to the emergency room as quickly as possible. They didn't know his name or age, so when he was released from the ICU, they put him in the adult ward, so that he had access to slightly better equipment and doctors, that could make sure he did not relapse into a coma. They had told him all of the things that were broken or torn or generally wrong with him when he could understand them, but he didn’t listen, the list was too long and painful. They told him he was lucky to be alive. He felt like he would be luckier to be dead.
At about the end of the first week they were able to identify him, and Max’s mother, who had sent out a missing child alert, rushed to the hospital to see him. She was sobbing when she arrived in his room and saw the state he was in. She sat by his bedside and cried for hours. It was around this point that the doctors found out he was younger than eighteen, but he was already settled into the adult ward, so they decided not to move him. His mother stayed with him the whole time he was there, sleeping in the stiff-backed chair in the corner of the small room at night, and pacing or sitting on his bed during he day.
She was his only visitor though. Max wasn’t really surprised that nobody from school came to see him. He didn’t really have any friends, Megan seemed to have evaporated, and all of his former friends from the ring now wanted him dead. Being honest with himself, Max realized there was nobody he would even want to see. And so Max had lived a solitary life for the past several weeks, not going out, not seeing anybody, not doing anything, with constant pain.
Although he had been released from the hospital, his mother, the school administration and the doctors had decided that Max was not yet fit for school. Max was fine with this decision at the time it was made, as he had never particularly liked school, there really wasn’t anything for him there, and also he really did not feel up to it; his concussion gave him searing headaches every day, and he still couldn’t move around without the help of somebody to push him in a wheelchair. Despite these difficulties, however, as the weeks had drawn on and the boredom of a paralyzed life set in, Max began wishing he was at school, just so that he would have something, anything to do.
Feeling himself going crazy, he decided to do something about it. Every day, rather than lay in bed and accept his broken self, he would move as far as was possible without the help of his mother or a wheelchair or any other sort of physical aid. His strategy seemed futile at first, but after several days of persistence, he managed to get himself out of bed and all the way across his room without any help. He did this for days, each day getting a little bit farther, a little bit easier. Max trained his body brutally. He worked himself like one large muscle, getting stronger with every workout. He went to bed at night sore, but in a good way, not sore anymore from his injuries, but from his exercise. After two weeks, he was able to get himself up and down the stairs, and after three he was able to move about the house, and make himself meals when he got hungry. After a month, Max decided that there was no way he could stay in his house any longer, and asked his mother at dinner if he could return to school.
“Does your body still hurt?” She responded.
“Yes.”
“Do you still get headaches?”
“Yes.”
“Then why in hell would you think it’s a good idea to go back to school?”
“Because I want to do something. I hate just sitting here every day doing absolutely nothing.”
“Read a book, do a jigsaw puzzle, I don’t care, but you’re not ready to go to school.”
“Mom, those count in the ‘doing nothing’ category.”
“Then do nothing.”
“Mom. I can’t do more nothing. I’ve been doing nothing for a month. I need to get out of the house. Can I at least go out?”
“You may go for walks around the block, but nothing more than that, do you understand me?”
Max realized he was going to get nowhere with his mother, so he decided that he was just going to go out. He was past caring what she thought, so he decided to appease her, “That sounds good, Mom, thank you.”
His mother smiled, appreciating his feigned gratitude, “You’re welcome, now finish your dinner, OK?”
Max nodded, and continued eating, formulating his escape plan.
* * *
Max felt the familiar smooth rubber of his Subaru’s steering wheel and smiled. He hadn't driven this car for quite a while, and it was nice to be back behind the wheel. What had happened with the ring did leave a slightly bitter taste in his mouth, but he shook it off, eager to get back on the road. He had planned out his evening very carefully, and he had to get out of the driveway fast, because his mom was taking a shower, so she wouldn’t hear him leaving. Then he realized that what he was doing went so against what his mother wanted him to be doing that he decided, f*** it, if she hears me, I don’t care. So he turned the car on and screeched out of the driveway, hammering the gas to the floor as soon as he hit the road.
His first stop was Aaron’s. Aaron was the kid in charge of all of the dealing that went down at Max’s school. After the accident, Max had gained a sort of fame as a martyr within the murkier circles of his peers that weren’t involved in the ring, and so, when Max had called him the night before, Aaron had been more than willing to hook Max up for a decent price. Max wasn’t quite sure what he was buying yet, but he knew that he needed something.
He sped the route with the easy familiarity of something you do every day, relishing his experience back on the road, and in half the time the directions he had printed up that morning had specified, he pulled up in front of Aaron’s house. He got out of the car and walked up to the front door. He was about to knock on the door, when he heard a voice to his left. “Don’t go in that way.” Aaron’s head poked out from his garage. “Come over here.” Max stepped down from the porch and went over to the garage. Aaron opened the door to let him in.
Inside, there were three other guys, slumped on a couch and two been bag chairs. “Holy s***, what happened to them?” Max asked.
“They took the heavy stuff.” Aaron replied darkly. “They’ll be fine. I have some easier stuff for you though, no worries.”
“OK.” Max looked at the three unconscious guys warily, but decided to go through with it anyway. There was no way he’d get through the rest of the night without something in him. Aaron led the way to the back corner, where there was a small bench with little drawers in it. Aaron opened one of the drawers and pulled out a small baggy with white powder in it.
“You’ve seen this stuff before?” Aaron asked. Max nodded, and reached for the bag, but Aaron pulled it away. “First I’ll be needing thirty bucks.” Max thought that the price was unreasonable, but he didn’t argue. He handed over three wadded up tens and took the bag. He held it for a little while, unsure of what to do now. Aaron offered a solution to the problem, “You wanna do it here? I’m chill with that.”
Max nodded again, in a trance-like state out of the anticipation. He emptied the bag onto the top of the bench, and pulled out another crisp dollar bill from his wallet. He separated the small pile into three even lines, and then, rolling up the bill to use as a small straw, snorted them one after the other. The first hit him like a truck, shooting a white light into his eyes and making his head spin. The second came a bit easier, it wasn’t unpleasant, but it wasn’t exactly enjoyable either. By the third line the first two had begun to kick in though, and when the flecks of white powder hit the back of Max’s nose for the third time, it was the most enjoyable sensation he had felt in his life.
Feeling like he was on top of the world, Max quickly left the garage, barely murmuring thanks to Aaron, who was watching him amusedly, and walked to his car. Behind him, Aaron briefly considered telling Max it was a bad idea to drive when he was so hyped up, but then he figured it would be funnier to watch him swerving around, so he kept his mouth shut. Max who felt like he was on a cloud, with his senses equally elevated, saw no reason not to drive, and so he sat down behind the wheel and peeled away from the curb in front of Aaron’s house. Looking behind him in the mirror, he wondered why Aaron was watching him with such a surprised look on his face.
* * *
Max pulled up to his second destination. This, he hoped—if everything went according to plan—would be his last stop for the night. He hopped out of the car confidently, still feeling invincible from the major dose of cocaine he had taken just minutes before. He walked down the path leading to the front door of the house he had parked in front of and paused at the door. For a split second he considered that maybe this wasn’t the best idea, but the moment passed, and giving into the joyful wave that had overcome him, he knocked on the door of the Brown house.
After waiting for a few moments, Max head a noise from the other side of the door, and it opened, revealing Megan in her pajamas, as if she had just been about to go to bed. She did a double take when she saw him, and stared at him, surprised. “Max, is that you?” She asked hesitantly.
“Hello my love. I have come to rescue you.” He said in a sing song voice, bowing awkwardly as he did so.
“Rescue me from what?”
“From your horrible fate of not having sex since I’ve been away.”
“Max what’s wrong with you?” She grabbed his chin to look into his eyes critically. “Are you high?”
“Why of course, my sweet.”
“Max, first of all, we’re through. We’re not going to have sex. I mean look at you. You look like a monster. You’re all hunched and your face is deformed. I heard what happened, and you’re lucky to be alive, but you look like absolute s***. Second of all, I move on pretty quickly, so trust me, I’ve had sex since you f***ed Josh over. Thirdly, you’re a f***ing idiot. Why are you getting high? Why did you come here? If Josh sees you he’ll literally kill you. Just get away from me, OK?”
Megan began turning away, but Max put his foot in the door. Even in his dazed state, her word had cut him deeply. He knew he didn’t look healthy, but he wasn’t some kind of freak toy that she could just toss out because she wanted to play with some better looking one. She hadn’t even ever said that she wanted to break up with him before he got attacked; she had just left him out to dry. Angrily, Max wrenched the door open and grabbed Megan by the shirt.
“Ah! What are you doing?” She cried out, struggling against Max.
He stepped into the house, still holding a fistful of her shirt, and yanked her along with him. Flailing, Megan had no choice but to be forced into the living room, where Max threw her down onto the couch. Megan tried to hit him, but Max pinned her down with one arm, and with the other began tearing at her pajamas, trying to get them off.
Megan screamed. The effort she put into producing the noise took away momentarily from that which she was putting into fighting, and so Max found his opportunity to grab her shirt with both hands, and tear it in half, revealing her round breasts. He shoved his face down to her chest and violently began biting her nipples, so that she screamed again, but this time out of pain.
Max heard footsteps behind him running down the stairs, but he did not care. He began work on Megan’s pants as she began sobbing in fear. Behind him, the footsteps stopped, and Max heard another scream, that sounded as though it came from Megan’s mother, as she came upon the scene. The scream was followed by a soft thud as the woman collapsed with shock. Max did not even look around to see, he had managed to tear Megan’s pants off and violently pushed aside the underwear she had on underneath. Undoing his own pants furiously, he began taking advantage of Megan like a rabid animal, not seeing or hearing anything in his blind, ecstatic rage.
Max felt hands grab his shoulders and tear him off of his prey, to crash painfully to the floor. The intervener quickly checked to see if Megan, whimpering on the couch would be all right, before turning to Max. Looking up, Max found himself once more looking up into Josh’s angry face. “You can take down my street racing ring!” He shouted into Max’s face. “You can take away my job, my life! You can put my friends in jail, hell, you could put me in jail, and I wouldn’t want to kill you. You were my favorite, Max. You could have done almost anything, and I would’ve had your f***ing back. But you cannot f***ing rape my sister. I will kill you for this. Tonight. Death race. You race for your life. I’m going to call up all my friends who you didn't put in the can, and we’ll all race against you. If you win, you live. If you lose, and you’ll lose, you die.”

Max pulled up to a stop at the intersection of Sunset Park and Oak Drive. Josh had told him where to go before they had gotten into their cars, and then had tailed him closely all the way there to make sure he didn’t try to make a run for it or anything stupid like that. Although almost a year had passed since that first night he’d attended the ring, Max had almost the exact same feeling he’d had in his gut back then now. He felt scared to death, about ready to throw up, and wanted more than anything to just turn around and leave. For the life of him he couldn’t remember what strange force had compelled him to stay that first night, and couldn’t help but realize that if he had gone with his gut and turned around then he wouldn’t be in the situation he was in now. But it was too late for regrets. Max had a race he needed to win.
Max got out of the car, and found several people already waiting for them, including Wheels and Oscar, as well as a few other familiar faces, all looking equally pissed off at him, and all excellent drivers. Max realized that he could potentially lose to any one of them, and for the first time he realized how unlikely it was that he was going to survive the night. The thought brought him down slightly from the high that he was still on from the cocaine. He’d hoped that he would be able to get through the race still feeling dreamy, but it looked as though he would have to do it with a clear, or at least mostly clear head, and the thought of that scared him almost as much as the consequence of the race should he lose.
Josh came up behind him and slapped him on the back, mocking friendliness. “So everyone,” he called out, addressing the crowd of drivers before them, “I’m sure you know why we’re all here. I know you do because I called each one of you personally about it.” He pushed Max forward, closer to the line of men. “This little fella has done some petty horrible things. First, he decided it would be a good idea to go rat us out to the coppers, and get this ring destroyed. But you know what? I’ll let him slide for that. He got what he deserved for that, his nice new face says it all.” A few of the men smiled grimly at the sight of it, especially Oscar and Wheels. “But you know what the kicker is?” Josh asked, regaining the group’s attention. “It’s that earlier tonight, this little f***er came into my home and raped my sister!” Josh suddenly dropped the fake nice voice and spit out the last few words in a scream of rage.
The men facing them suddenly stood up straighter. Max realized that this was the first they were hearing of his latest offense, and that this would motivate them further to absolutely destroy him during and after the race. Max heard one of the men mutter, “You’re going to hell, you motherf*er,” softly, and several others murmured in agreement. One that Max didn’t know very well even began taking a few steps forward aggressively, before Josh interceded, saying, “Let’s all calm down a little bit, brothers. I’m sure we’d all like to kill Maxie now, but we have to give him his fighting chance, don’t we?” He had regained his false voice. “Why don’t we all just get into our cars, wait a few more minutes for the last few guys to show up, and then we’ll begin, yeah?”
He was met with a communal grumbling from the men, and they all began dispersing into their cars to prepare for the race. Josh turned around to Max, grabbed him by the hair and shoved him towards his own car. Max got in and rolled the window down, “Wait, Josh! What’s the route?”
Josh looked back at him evilly. “It starts and ends here, b****. Hope you find the right way.”
“Wait, what? Josh?” Maxed asked frantically. But Josh kept walking away and disappeared into his own car.
Max began to cry. It was the first time he had cried since the night he found out his father had cancer. He let it all out, sobbing hysterically at all of the different emotions he had felt but kept bottled inside for so long. Feeling wave after wave of grief, anger, and disappointment wash over him, Max decided that he had to get himself out of his situation. He didn’t want to die. Not yet at least, and not at the hands of these brutal thugs. He turned his car on, and stepped on the gas, not caring if the other drivers tried to follow him.
Two cars tried to block his escape, but Max maneuvered around them, popping briefly up onto the sidewalk to evade their blockade. Another car managed to swipe across his back bumper, but was not able to deter him from his course. Blind with tears and not seeing any more cars in his way, Max drove furiously as fast as he could. He could hear the sounds of other drivers pursuing him, so he took as many turns as possible to shake them off. He knew that other guys had faster cars than his, but Max was the most skilled at maintaining speed through turns out of anybody in the group, so he knew that if he could keep on turning but still work his way away from the park he might have a chance of getting away.
Twisting and turning through town, he gradually heard the sounds of the others fade away, and, becoming more comfortable with the possibility that he might get away, allowed himself to steer on auto pilot to a route he knew by heart. He found himself on the long stretch of road leading out of town to Cooper Mountain, and decided that he was safe at this point, as he could no longer see or hear any cars behind him. He continued on, thinking that Cooper Mountain would be a good place to spend the night, since he couldn’t go back into town, and he didn’t have any money on him. He would go there, call his mom, and figure out what to do from there.
Busy sketching out his plan of attack for the coming night, Max failed to notice the set of headlights that had crested a rise behind him and was approaching fast. Too late, Max became aware of the car at the last minute and stomped on the gas, making the only reasonable assumption that the car was chasing him. The car behind him was traveling too fast for Max to accelerate in time to outrun it, so, realizing his predicament, he made an instantaneous decision to take a dirt-paved side road that miraculously popped up on the side of the highway. Max turned sharply onto the dark road, and felt the four-wheel drive of his Subaru kick into gear.
The car helped, but the road was extremely bumpy, and Max felt himself being jostled around by the holes and lumps in the road mercilessly. The driver in pursuit, realizing that a high-speed chase down such a poor road was a death wish, stopped abruptly after a few hundred feet to turn around. Max, in the darkness of the forest around him, did not see the other driver stop, and, eyes still streaming with tears, sped dangerously down the path. He got the feeling as though he had been down this road before, like he knew it somehow, but in the commotion of the moment, he could not remember at all when or why that was.
Max glanced into the rearview mirror to check to see of the other car was still behind him, sighed with relief when he realized he was in the clear. At that very moment when he took his concentration off the road, however, his front right tire hit a massive ditch in the road, and the car careened left. Once again, Max felt the strange sensation that he had been in this exact situation before, and he remembered; it was his birthday night a year ago, when Iris had taken him to go stargazing, and he had managed to avert the crash by pulling her steering wheel from the passenger seat. This time though, he could not save the car from disaster.
Max was jerked violently around as the car ran head on into a massive oak tree. The windshield shattered, the glass raining onto Max. The hood of the car crumpled like wax paper, and the whole body of the car was cleaved almost in half. Max retained consciousness, despite the massive impact of the blow, but the airbag had not gone off, and his legs and left arm were pinned by the crumpled front section of the car. His vision was blurry, whether from tears or proximity to passing out he could not tell, his whole body hurt, and he could feel blood spilling out of him everywhere. He reached painfully into his pocket with his right hand; the only limb unpinned by the giant weight of the car, and pulled it out. Using every ounce of strength he had left, he dialed the number of the one person he knew could find him and get him help.
“Iris,” he stammered, “I need help. I’m where we went for my birthday. Please come quickly.” Rasping out those few words, he dropped the phone and slipped into blackness.
* * *
Max opened his eyes to find Iris’ eyes streaming and a man in a blue uniform using massive clippers to cut the metal away from Max’s legs. His upper body was free, but he could not move it for the pain. Iris, noticing his eyes open, rushed forward, and began to say something that Max couldn’t understand, but another man in blue took her away before she finished. Unable to keep his eyes open any more, Max again faded into darkness.
* * *
Max awoke again once more in the hospital. He was being wheeled down the hallway in the ICU. He’d been here before, and quite recently, but that time he had been completely unconscious, and remembered nothing from his comatose state. He saw Iris running along next to him down the hallway. He wondered why she was here. He was glad that she was, in fact, she was the one person that he really wanted to be with him, but she had made it so clear that she despised him. Why had she come back?
Max thought about the night they celebrated his birthday, oh so long ago. He thought about how Iris had made fun of him for the massive burger he had gotten for dinner. He thought about how they had seen Gravity, and how much he had loved the movie. He thought about how they had driven down that bumpy road and how he had saved them from an accident. He thought about how they had watched the stars together. He thought about how they had kissed on the top of her car in that clearing out in the woods. But most of all he thought about how different his life would be if instead of rejecting her that night he had said yes. What if he had started dating Iris? He never would have gotten with Megan, he never would have met Josh, and never gotten involved in the ring. Everything would be different. Earlier he had brushed off his regrets, but now, as he lay bleeding on a gurney, being rushed through a hospital for the second time in two months, he figured now is as good as any a time for regrets. He tried to turn his head to tell Iris how he felt, but his head wouldn’t turn, and his mouth wouldn’t open.
A nurse came up along side Max and asked Iris some questions. Max could not make out exactly what was being said, but he thought he heard Iris say his name, and also his age. The nurse indicated where to go, and Max felt the gurney being pushed in the direction the nurse had pointed. A few seconds later, Max felt the gurney slow down and turn sharply into a room. It was the children’s ward. Max closed his eyes, realizing that if they were taking him directly to the ward, and not to the ICU, somebody had decided that there was no chance for him. Behind his closed eyes he thought about his life. The wonderful times he had spent with his parents as a child replayed in his head, as well as the fond memories he had playing with Iris when they had been children. The horrible mistakes he had made in the past year, but more horribly the past months, and even more horribly, the past night all came flooding in, and Max opened his eyes, not wanting his final thoughts to be of such monstrous things.
Max looked straight up, the only direction he could, and noticed with interest that the ceiling of the children’s ward above him was covered with the little glow in the dark sticker stars that are common on the bedroom ceilings of young kids. He looked deeply into the small sticky stars on the ceiling and saw not only them, but past them, into the true stars and beyond. He realized that the place he had always felt most comfortable in life was among the stars. His father had raised him among the stars, and he had experienced the greatest excitement and greatest peace of his life among the stars. Max realized that he was no longer upset about dying; he had made his peace with the wrongs the world had inflicted upon him, and he accepted that it was no compensation for the wrongs he had inflicted upon others. Despite his peace, Max tried to keep his eyes open for as long as possible, drinking in the beauty of the stars above him. After some time though, Max’s eyelids betrayed him, and slipped close, with the image of stars still in his mind, and a smile on his face.



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