The Journey of Being Bullied | Teen Ink

The Journey of Being Bullied

February 2, 2013
By Ms.Marie GOLD, Greensburg, Kentucky
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Ms.Marie GOLD, Greensburg, Kentucky
12 articles 30 photos 0 comments

Favorite Quote:
James 2:24- you see a person is justified by what he does and not by faith alone


Author's note: In middle school I felt like that not only I but many other girls were bullied. Everyone ignored the issue! Girls like me would cry and cry because of bullying and yet it continued. The character Quinn has been inspired from my past experiences. I hope readers find her realistic and can relate to how she feels.

It was an early Saturday morning in mid-October. As I was taking my morning walk in the chilly and misty air I looked back at the house and memories came into my mind. I saw a few lights starting to appear in the windows in the distant. I knew that was my cue to head on back and start getting ready for school. Before I headed back to the old brick house I had to go feed my horse. The grass was covered with morning dew as I walked into the dirt floor barn. My horses name is Brisa. When I turned twelve years old my mom bought her after she was just born. There was an old, well organized man who was selling all of his animals because he was getting to old to take care of them. I was grateful to get the horse because that’s what I had always wanted my whole life. It was the best way to get away from the chaotic world and be just to you. I hated to leave Brisa but I knew I had to go get ready for the long day ahead of me.

When I arrived at the wooden porch I took off my boots on the old welcome mat that had been at our front door for as long as I could remember. I opened the door that creaked and I could see a few dim lights on in the house. I went up to my room which was on the second floor of the house. I saw that my younger sister Claire and my older brother Walker were just getting up out of the bed for the morning. Claire is seven years old and Walker is just now turning sixteen years old. I happen to be in the middle of them at fourteen years old. After I had gotten a steamy hot shower I went into my old cream colored room and put a clean pair of jeans and my favorite t-shirt. My hair is naturally curly so I just put some light moose in it. Then I headed down the old carpeted stairs to catch the bus. My pink school bag was lying on the used floral printed couch and I grabbed it as I quickly slipped my boots on and headed for the bus. Claire and Walker followed behind me doing the same.

Today was a chilly morning so I slipped a sweatshirt on that I had in my backpack. As the bus took off down the road, I could hear the girls in front of me talking and my mind wondered to what things they might be saying. It seemed to me like everyone thought the world of those girls. I often wonder why everyone liked them so much. I always heard them fighting among themselves and never having anything nice to say. I guess that’s just the way some people choose to act. Although, that isn’t the way I would want to act I guess that is their choice.

I walked off the bus and I got off before the other two girls did. As I walked off the bus I heard them laugh. I looked back at them and they just smiled at me as if they were innocent. I turned around without saying a word. I never liked to be the one to start drama. “Excuse me, but do you have a problem?” the girl with the long brown straight hair asked me very seriously.

“No, I’m fine,” I quickly replied.

“Well you need to mind your own business and quit looking at us, ok?” the other girl with the curly blond ponytail said. When I heard them talk to me that way it always made me have a bad day after that. After all, what had I ever done to them? I could not think of anything. I just assumed that I was not good enough for them. I was not one of those girls who wore perfectly new jeans everyday or nice shirts. My look usually consisted of used jeans that were comfortable and t-shirts I had gotten from multiple different places along the way. Although, I did not have all the best things, I made it a point throughout the day to always respect everyone that I met the best that I could. Sometimes it was really hard but I managed to just keep a positive outlook somehow. That is something that my father always told me before he went into the military. He always said that no matter what if you stay positive then everything would be ok. So I always thought of him when I was having a bad day.

Once we arrived at school I got off the bus and walked into my first class of the day which was math. It was one of my stronger subjects so I didn’t mind having it in the mornings. I sat at a table with my best friend. Some people find it odd that my best friend is a boy whenever I am a girl, but he is nicer to me than anybody and best of all he doesn’t cause any drama in my life. Cooper is his name and he has crystal blue eyes with a few freckles around his nose. He usually stays tanned no matter what time of year it is and his hair is a chestnut color of brown. Cooper and I have all of our classes together so we usually are with each other the majority of the day.

So after Cooper and I got off the bus that afternoon at my old brick house we grabbed a quick box of cheese crackers as a snack and went to sit in the two tree swings behind our house to eat a quick snack.

“Hey Quinn, open your mouth and I will throw you a cheese cracker!” Cooper said to me as he laughed swinging back and forth in the tree swing, “You ready?” he said still laughing as I opened up my mouth and tried to follow the direction of the cracker. I surprisingly caught it in my mouth and started to convince Cooper that he couldn’t catch one.

“I will bet you I can catch one!” Cooper said opening up his mouth.

“Alright, we will see about that then!” I said as I swung back and fourth and tossed a cheese cracker toward Cooper’s mouth. As it hit the ground he jumped off the swing and chased me to the old rustic wooden barn where our two horses were at. We both took some sugar cubes out of a big bag in the corner of the barn and fed them to the horses. I could tell that they were pleased. “I bet that horse can catch a sugar cube better than you can catch a cheese cracker!” I jokingly said to Cooper as he laughed.

“That is so funny Quinn!” Cooper said sarcastically as he smiled and went to the corner of the barn to get the horses grooming supplies. Cooper reminded me that we needed to brush their hair before we rode them and I agreed. Cooper and I gently stroked the soft wispy hairs on each of the horses and then put our old leather saddles on them before we hopped on to ride. “So did you have any trouble with Grace or Ellison today,” Cooper asked me like he did every day. He knew that they were always cruel to me and he tried to help me out and take up for me the best he could.

“Well this morning they were just trying to make a big deal out of nothing on the bus but other than that not really,” I replied.

“Well that’s good I guess but don’t let them get to you because you know it makes them happy when they see they are hurting you, but it upsets me,” Cooper said as he leaned up against the rustic wooden barn.

“Yeah I know I just try to ignore them though, but it doesn’t seem to work,” I told Cooper.

“Your dad would be really proud of you Quinn,” Cooper said smiling.
“Thanks,” I said as I hopped onto my horse. The October air was cold in the evening so I slipped my sweatshirt back on. Cooper opened up the gate to the stalls that the horses stayed in and then opened up the other side of the barn that leads into the field. As Brisa trotted into the field it had just been mowed and the strong smell of hay was present in the air.
I always liked to think of my dad when I rode horses because he was the one who taught me the discipline of riding horses. Before he passed away while he was in service he had wrote me a letter telling me to always be strong and never let anyone bring me down, and that was exactly what I was going to try to do.
After we finished riding, the sun was starting to set in the distance and my mom was home so I figured that I should head back to the house because Cooper’s sister would be coming by to get him soon. Cooper’s sister was someone who liked to stand up for herself no matter what others thought and I liked that about her. She was always very good to Cooper and to me as well. She treated me as if I was her sister to. I always had appreciated that. When we had put up the horses I had a layer of dust on me and so did Cooper. We walked up to the back porch of the house and took our shoes off on the steps where the old white paint was slowly chipping off and being weathered away. When I walked into the house my mom was helping Claire, my younger sister with her homework. The aroma of a cookie scented candle filled up the air in the house.
“I put you all some sandwiches in the refrigerator if you want them,” my mom said to Cooper and me as she quickly continued explaining a math problem to Claire. Cooper and I walked over to the refrigerator and each got a ham sandwich with mayo spread on the white sandwich bread. We walked over to the couch and sat down to eat. Cooper grabbed two cokes from the refrigerator and soon after we sat down his sister came into the house to get him. She looked really tired as she sat down in the old brown upholstered chair.
“Let’s go ahead and head back to the house Cooper I just finished working on mom’s garden and I am really tired,” Nicole explained as she looked at me and smiled, “How are you Quinn?” Nicole asked as she stood up to leave.
“Pretty good I guess,” I said as I got up to give her a hug before she left, “Just the usual I guess,” I said laughing.
“Well that’s good to hear, I guess we will see you all tomorrow,” she said as her and Cooper walked out the old rustic front door. As they left I started to think about tomorrow and I decided to go up to my room for awhile. I usually liked to write down my thoughts at the end of every day in a notebook that my father had gotten for me while he was in Afghanistan. It was a pink camouflage covered notebook with my name engraved on the front. I grabbed an ink pen off of the edge of my nightstand and sat on my bed as it creaked. I got comfortable as I propped up some pillows behind my head. I opened up the notebook and wrote my entry for today.

October 17, 2010
Today when I got on the bus my day started out bad because Grace and Ellison decided they would try to pick on me just because I glanced at them. It’s not like I did anything wrong! I did not even say anything to them. I guess they think they can tell me whatever they want to because I never try to say anything mean back. This afternoon Cooper and I rode horses and had a good time though. He is my best friend, I am glad he doesn’t act the way that those girls do. –Quinn

At school today everything seemed to be fairly normal, just as any other school day would be. When I went to my third class of the day our teacher asked us all to stand in the front of the room so that she could give us a new seating chart. I was hoping she would sit me with somebody nice, like Cooper. After I heard Cooper’s name called to a certain seat, I was hoping that my seat would be by someone else nice at least. When she got to the names for the last table it was the worst possible seating. There are four seats at a table and my seat is beside Ellison. Grace was at the table beside us. I didn’t know what to say. There was nothing that I could say. All I could do was sit down and hope for the best.

As I sit in the blue plastic chair, I put my backpack beside it on the dirty old floor. Ellison came to sit down and sat her purse on the table along with her other things. She scooted her chair as far over to the other side of the table as she possibly could. Our teacher asked us to take our English books so that we could do a worksheet that she was passing out to the class. I was just hoping that everything would stay drama free. I picked up my worksheet off of the table and grabbed a pencil out of my backpack. Ellison, who acted like she knew what she was doing glanced at her worksheet and then had a clueless look on her face. I could tell she had no idea what to do. It made me feel special because I had been listening in class and she hadn’t, so she had no idea what to do.

I watched as Ellison glanced at Grace to see if she knew the answers. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Grace shrug her shoulders. Grace pointed at me and shook her head. I knew that they wanted answers from my paper but I didn’t want to offer them any. Although, if I didn’t give them the answers to the worksheet they would get mad at me and treat me bad, like they already do. I watched as Ellison tried to glance at my paper and I put my arm over the paper so she was unable to see what the paper said.

“Hey Quinn, what are the answers to this paper?” Ellison quietly whispered so that the teacher could not hear her. I did not say anything in reply because I did not want to get caught for cheating. Ellison grabbed the paper out of my hand when I did not reply and I heard Grace quietly laugh at the nearby table. Cooper looked over and he didn’t know what to do. He said to go tell our teacher, but I didn’t want to get yelled at by Ellison and Grace later on for telling on them. I was starting to feel terrified and trying to think of what to do. So I just waited until she got done with the paper. When she did I put my head down on my desk feeling defeated once again.

That afternoon Cooper couldn’t come over to my house so I was feeling even worse when I walked into the house full of chores to do. After an hour of chores I sat down on the couch wondering what I could do. So I went outside to ride Brisa and ponder on the day. The bright orange sun was setting and it was peaceful. I felt as if I had nothing to worry about when I rode her until the thought of Grace and Ellison came to my mind.

When arriving at school the following day Ms. Parks, my Science teacher called me to her desk. I always like Ms. Parks, and now I know why I liked her so much. Her deep brown eyes seemed like she had a sincere meaning about everything she did. I respected her for that. “Quinn, are Grace and Ellison bullying you?” Ms. Parks asked me with a very serious expression expecting me to tell the truth.

“They just sometimes aren’t very nice to me,” I replied looking down at my shoes reminiscing on all the things they had done to me in the past.

“I have noticed some things they have been doing lately and I just wanted to make sure that you are ok,” Ms. Parks said.

“Well thank you but I just wish they wouldn’t do the things they do,” I replied almost in tears.

“If it is ok with you I am going to speak with them and make them aware that they are hurting your feelings so that maybe I am put a stop to it,” Ms. Parks suggested.

“That’s fine I appreciate,” I said with a half smile.

The next day as I walked in school with Cooper everything seemed to be going smoothly until I entered my Science class. Ms. Parks wasn’t there today but Grace and Ellison were. After I sat down in my seat and started on the assignment for the day. I felt someone tap on my shoulder. It was Grace. She had a very hateful look on her face.

“Quinn, I don’t know who you think you are running and being a little tattle tale to the teacher, we weren’t doing anything to you so you better go tell Ms. Parks you were mistaken when you told her we bullied you because we did not, is that clear with you?” Grace said standing in front of me like if I didn’t say yes that I would clarify things with Ms. Parks that she would do something terrible.

“I…I…I didn’t tell her you bullied me she asked me if you guys were and I just said you had done some things I didn’t like,” I said in a very soft whispering tone.

“Excuse me? I said you better clarify things with Ms. Parks,” Grace said.

“There is nothing to clarify, I told the truth,” I said quietly. As Grace got up in my face even more I could tell that she was about to get angrier than she already was. I got scared so I started to stand up out of my chair and walk away. Then I suddenly felt her fist jab into my face and her leg kicked me so hard in the stomach I fell over. I could hear the substitute teacher screaming and kids were all running over to watch what they thought was a fight. Although I didn’t even make an effort to fight her back I just laid their defeated on the cold, dirty, school floor crying and wondering what I was going to do and why these girls hated me so much.

At home I had an ice pack lying on my face and I just laid on the couch feeling that anymore crying would be no good. My mother was terribly upset and had no idea this had even happened. Cooper had called me from school after he heard about it and promised to ride the bus to my house after school to sit and talk with me and try to make things better. This had been going on for over a year now and I didn’t know what else to do. I knew Ms. Parks would believe me. Even if she did believe me that Grace punched me because she was mad Ms. Parks knew what she was doing to me, that didn’t matter? What would I do when nobody was around but Grace, Ellison, and I? They could do whatever they wanted to me and that was the scary part

Ms. Parks had talked to me when I got back to school a week later. It had taken me a while to emotionally and physically recover. As bad as I didn’t want to be there, I knew I had to be. The principal was aware of the situation now and mom was taking me to and from school so they couldn’t be around me on the bus.

I had heard the principal announce over the intercom earlier in school that morning that anyone who was bullying someone else would be taken out of school to the alternative school facility on the other side of town. I knew Grace and Ellison came from to high class families and their money could buy their way out of that.

After I had been at school most of the day everything seemed to be going great. Grace and Ellison hadn’t said a word to me and they had ignored me every time they saw me now. I was hoping it would stay that way. Cooper sat with me in every class now and walked me to every class. Sometimes I wondered how two girls could be so mean. Cooper was so nice, yet those girls were so mean, and at the end of the day we are all still humans.

The next couple of weeks went by and everything seemed to be fine. Until one day I went into the restroom and I saw Ellison standing there putting on her lip gloss in front of the mirror. As I tried to walk away I heard her say my name. I turned around silently.

“Yes,” I replied.

“We will be back to get you I hope you know, you didn’t win this war, you only won the battle,” Ellison said as she walked out of the bathroom giving me an angry look. I looked at my reflection in the mirror only to start sobbing. After a few minutes I dried up my tears and tried to convince myself that I was stronger than they are and I could get through this. I walked back to Ms. Parks class and sat down silently by Cooper at my desk.

When I sat down I felt myself start shaking from being so nervous. My hands were sweating my cheeks felt hot and steamy. My chest was beating hard and I could not focus on the lesson. I felt like everything Ms. Parks was saying was a complete blur. I saw Grace and Ellison whispering in the front of the room. It made me feel even worse.

Grace got up to throw something in the trash and while the teacher was turned around she laid a note on my desk. It had a picture of my face and she was throwing darts at it. I felt so worthless so hopeless, like they owned me and I have no idea how

The next school day I felt nervous once again and I had a reason too. When I walked into Ms. Parks room Grace grabbed my backpack and Ellison continuously punched me and kicked me. I acted like a limp doll not wanting to fight back and almost giving up I just laid there and then everyone and everything around me went black as pitch. I could see nothing and everything was blurry. I felt terrible pain and did not know what else to do but just lay there. Even when I thought it was over it seems like it will never end.

I woke up in the hospital and saw Ms. Parks, my mom, and Cooper. I had lots of bruises with a bandage around my wrist and a cast on my ankle. They had beaten me up pretty badly. I never wanted to see those girls again. I hated school, I hated it I tell you. I never wanted to go back. I want to stay at home and ride Brisa all day where nobody can bother me or bully me. I wanted my father to be proud of me and be able to stand up for his daughter, but he couldn’t.

When I saw Ms. Parks she told me what happened when I was taken in the ambulance. She said that the cops were called and Ellison and Grace were being taken to a juvenile detention center because bullying is against the law and now that they have all the evidence they need to prove I was being bullied they took Grace and Ellison out of school. This made me much happier, as if things had turned around for me. I prayed that this never happens to anyone else. You feel so trapped. You feel like the person that is bullying you almost owns you, and you have no control. They can do anything they want to you. So now if I see someone being bullied I will take action.



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