Remember Me | Teen Ink

Remember Me

August 16, 2012
By RoseAndDaises, regina, Other
More by this author
RoseAndDaises, Regina, Other
0 articles 0 photos 1 comment

I feel her soft sweet lips brush against mine. We kiss and kiss, our bodies tangled together, not knowing where one ended and the other began. My fingers running through her soft golden hair and then...


Nothing.

Gone.

She was screaming silently. Cries of help.

Kurtis. I could read my name on her lips.

I could see the pain, the flames like a tongue, flicking and licking at her, slicing into her, each whip from the fire causing her to scream but no sound escaping. I reach out, trying to grab her and pull her out of the fire but I can’t reach her. She screams and cries, repeating my name over and over, begging for it to end. Her cries and pleases for me piercing my heart, ripping it from my chest. But I can’t reach. I started thrashing, trying my hardest to grab her, to hold her close. But I can’t.

My eyes snap open wide, my breathing laboured, my heart beating twice as fast as normal.
I could feel her. I felt her. Then she was gone, all over again. I couldn't save her. I couldn't touch her.
Shakily, I slip my hand between the mattress and the box spring. Reaching around I look for a single thing, a reminder. My fingers brush against it, so I wrap my fingers around the glossy page and pull it out. I gaze at the picture, my only physical memory of her left.
And then I curl into a ball, and start to weep silently feeling the pain all over again.
I lost her and it was my fault.

"Hey bro, you comin'? It's gonna be crazy man. You know how Kellen's parties are. Hot chicks and cold beer." Dylan grins and slaps me on the back.

Dylan is my best friend. We've been best friends since grade nine, when the football team taped us both to a tree outside the school and left us there. Since that moment we both decided that we’d be friends. That was six years ago. Now we’re in university. I'm studying to be a teacher, and Dylan? Well he still doesn't really know.

"It'll be sick. Come on man. Let loose some. All you do these days is go to class, study, then go to bed. " Damn. He did have a point there.

"Fine. I'll go" I sighed reluctantly. I really didn't want to go, but I knew I'd never hear the end of his whining if I didn't agree. And besides, someone had to watch out for Dylan once he was hammered.

"Yeah man!" He grinned and left my room to go call Kellen, letting him know we would be coming. I really didn't want to go. Maybe I can fake sick, or say something important came up or- no. I stop myself. I'm going to this party and I'm going to enjoy myself. Dylan's right. It's time for me to have some fun



"Common man, your like a girl! You take forever to get dressed!"

I glance over at my bed, seeing Mount. Kurtis forming, almost every shirt I own crumpled up and laying in a heap on my bed. I shake my head. Since when do I care this much about what I wear?

I grab a red t-shirt off the top and pull it on. Before I walk out of my room I grab my wallet and stuff it in my pocket. I have a feeling I’ll be driving home tonight.



We hadn't even been at the party for more than ten minutes before Dylan started making an ass out of himself.

" Hey baby. They call me Mr. D because I'm like dynamite. I'm dangerous to play with" I roll my eyes. That's Just like Dylan.

I walk away letting Dylan embarrass himself some more and head towards the keg picking up a drink for myself. I glimpse around, taking the party in.

Dylan was right. I think to myself. There are a lot of hot chicks at Kellen's party.

I start walking towards the luxurious cabin to find Kellen, when someone comes up behind me. She giggles, wrapping her arms around my waist from behind, and whispers into my ear "Come dance with me baby". I turn around and try looking her up and down but before I get a good look she grabs my hand, and drags me towards the burning bonfire where a mass of people are milling around, all dancing.

We bump and grind for awhile, out bodies close together. I spin her around, and she laughs and smiles at me. She’s real pretty I think to myself, with her long blonde golden hair that shimmers in the light from the fire and her deep green eyes reminding me of a shamrock. She wore a pock a dot bikini top and a tight jean miniskirt that did wonders for her body. After dancing with her for what seemed like hours, I excuse myself.


I walk away, looking for somewhere to sit finding people scattered everywhere. Finally I find an empty chair, the only one available in site, beside a girl with a golden blonde braid.

"Is this seat taken?" I ask the girl, assuming someone she’s with has just ventured off for a bit.

"No. It's not taken" She replies quietly. I almost have to ask her to repeat herself, not quite catching what she says over the loud music and crazy party-goers.

Assuming she said no, I drop down in the chair and the girl turns towards me.

My eyes bug out a bit, confused with what I see. "Hey, wasn't I just dancing wit-"

"That was probably my twin sister. She dances with anyone and everyone" She says this almost robot like, as if she's said this at least fifty times tonight.

"Oh. Well why aren’t you dancing?"

"This isn't really my scene". She replies quietly once again then looks down at her hands and starts to fidget with them, lacing her fingers together and unlacing them.

"Why did you come then?" I ask out of curiosity

"My sister sort of forced me. She said it would be fun." She looks up at me, the discomfort visible on her face.

I laugh. I'd heard that one before.

We started talking and talking, completely oblivious to everyone around us. My interest in her spiking, wanting to know more. We talked about everything from hobbies to college to sports and music. Whiling talking, a girl that looks identical to her, obviously the twin she was talking about before, comes stumbling over makeup smeared all over her face, tears cascading down her heavily made up cheeks.

"He he and I just can't be but no but but but.." She stammers, her words slurred together signifying she’s drunk. Her sister tries to say a few calming words but before she has the chance the blubbering girl drops to the ground in front of her in a heap, sobbing so hard she was having troubles catching her breath and starts to hick-up.

"It's okay Leens. Well leave. Just let me find my keys." The girl, 'Leens' nods her head, and stands up, grabbing onto me for support. She flounders away through the crowd of drunken dancers.

I look up at 'Leens' sister.

"Your leaving me?" I put my pouty face on and cross my arms over my chest, being playful. Although inside my heart beats wildly not wanting to say goodbye to this astonishing girl I'd just met.

"I'm sorry" She sighs.

" Can I get your number? Maybe I could buy you a coffee sometimes" I smile up at her, silently begging she says yes

" I'd love that. Phone?" She smiles. The smile was incredible, making my voice catch in my throat. Her emerald green eyes shine.

I trade my blackberry for her iPhone. She adds her number to my contacts then takes a picture of herself giving me one more look at that smile of hers. I add my number and hand back her phone without taking a picture of myself.

"Call me sometime" She smiles up at me, making my heart beat speed up.

Before I could say anything else she was gone, somewhere in the crowd, running after her hysterical sister.

Two days after the party I find I’m having a silently argument with myself, the same one I've had multiple times over and over.
“Call her.”
“Don’t call her”
“Call her!”


I sigh, not being able to make up my mind.


Kaylin hadn't called yet and I keep wondering if it’s because of something I did or send. I replay our conversation in my mind, every detail coming back to me. I close my eyes, thinking about what happened, analyzing every little thing from that night. Watching it like a movie, the one that I’m the star in. I open my eyes and shake my head. I hadn't said anything wrong or nothing that I could think of. Maybe she just doesn’t like me. But then why would she give you her number?


Finally, after playing mind games with myself, exploring every angle of what had happened, and finding my balls, I decided to call her.


“Hello. Is this Kaylin?”


“Um yes, it is. Can I ask whose calling?”


I cross my fingers, hoping she doesn’t hang up on me. “Its Kurtis. The guy from the party” I gulp, worried she doesn’t remember, or wishes she doesn’t.


After a few awkward moments of silence “Kurtis! How are you?” I relax, realizing I was holding my breath.


"I'm good. I was wondering if I could buy you that coffee now?"


"I'd love that. What time?"


"I was thinking right away"


"Sure. I can be there right away" I hear her eagerness oozing through the phone.


"Great! See you soon" I smile down at my phone. She hasn't forgotten me! I grab my wallet off the desk and jump into my car


When I arrive at Tim Hortons, I drive around the parking lot for a bit trying to find a parking spot. Finally I find one relatively close to the entrance. I drive into it, park and then run into the building looking around to see if she's there yet. When I don't spot her, I grab us a table by the window and wait for her to show up.


I stare out the window watching the cars drive in and out of the parking lot, watching people interactive with each other. I watch one family, a single mother probably only five years older than me, who’s face looks worn and withered making her look older than she probably is, rush her 4 kids, all of them six and younger to the bus stop.

Watching another family I see an old man and his elderly wife. He parks his red four door car in a handicap spot and races over as fast as he can to his wife's door and opens it for her, taking her hand and helping her out of the car.


Next I see a blue ford pickup truck pull up and stop right outside the door. The girl in the car leans over and kisses the guy on the cheek. The guy driving says something to her, making her laugh. She climbs out of the truck and slams the door shut. It takes me a few moments to focus on the girl and realize who the girl is. It’s Kaylin! Was that her boyfriend? Why didn't she tell me? A flood of sadness and anger washes over me. I think to myself "Why would I care if she has a boyfriend?"


She walks in and looks around for someone –me-. I wave at her, catching her attention. A glimmer of remembrance and relief flashes across her face. She smiles at me, and starts walking around tables to come sit with me.


"Hey" I smile. Hey? That’s the best I can do?


"You look nice" Now I sound like an idiot


She looks down at her outfit, a white fluffy hooded sweater, a deep purple formfitting lace tank top and dark wash blue jeans. She looks up at me, her face slightly red from blushing. An embarrassed smile creeps over her face.


"Thanks" she says quietly. She sits down in the chair across from me, and start fidgeting with a pink bracelet on her arm. She spins it over and over, and I realize it’s a cancer bracelet. I wonder who she knows that has Cancer. I push the question out of my mind, not wanting to ask anything that could upset her.


"So what do you want to drink?" I ask, trying to start a conversation.


"An ice cap would be great" She smiles, nervously.


“Alright. An ice cap. Got it!" I smile and stand up, pushing my chair in.


I start walking towards the counter when I feel a pair of eyes on me. I sneak a glance behind me to discover she’s watching me. I look forward, and focus on the counter, trying to walk with purpose. The metal divider catches me by surprise when I stub my toe on it. I yell out, probably saying a couple unflattering words, and bite my lip. I keep walking towards the counter, a slight limp to my walk, thinking about the pain in my big toe when suddenly Kaylin is right beside me.


She lays her hand on my arm. "Are you alright?" She asks quietly, concern flooding out her emotions.


I glance down at her hand, still on my arm. Forgetting about the pain, I mumble "yes", unaware of everyone staring at us.


"I'll grab our coffees. What do you want?"


I'm still staring down at where her hand is. Warmth spreads through my arm, tingling from her touch. I repeat back to her what she told me a few moments ago. "An ice cap would be great".


She removes her hand from my arm, and walks over to the counter and orders two ice caps. She grabs our coffee and walks towards me.


"Can we sit in your car while we drink these?" I nod, still slightly shocked from how her hand on my arm made me feel..


We walk towards my car. I unlock it and we slide into the leather seats. We drink in peace for a few silent moments, just gazing out the windows. I curse myself mentally over and over for being such an idiot and embarrassing myself. Her quiet but cheerful voice flooded with concern breaks the silence.


"Is your toe okay?" She glances up at me, and I see how concerned she really is.


I nod my head "It doesn't hurt anymore"


She smiles that sweet smile. The one that makes my heart try to leap out of my chest. "That's Good"


We sit in my car, in the Tim Horton's parking lot for hours talking. After a couple hours her phone rings, a song I don’t recognize blasting out. The singer’s voice has a light English accent laced with it and I briefly flash back to the first night I met Kaylin and her telling me her favourite song was Fall by Ed Sheeran. She sighs, and pulls it out of her pocket, just as unhappy as I am about the interruption. She looks at the Caller ID, and answers it


"Hello."


"Yes."


I'm only able to hear one side of the conversation, so I listen harder trying to hear what the person on the other end is saying. All I pick up is a male's voice. She continues talking to the guy on the other end, her voice flippant and packed with annoyance. Kaylin starts to sound less and less happy by the second. Finally she ends the conversation and she hangs up. She looks over at me and frowns.


"My brother is coming to get me right away."


"Oh okay."


"I'm sorry."


I plaster a fake smile on my face, not wanting her to know how unhappy I am about this. "Its okay."


She smiles at me and climbs out of my car. "It was fun today. Maybe we can do it again soon?"


"Hopefully."


Just then the blue ford that dropped her off, rounds the corner and her brother pulls up in the same place he dropped her off a couple hours ago.


"Bye Kurtis" She smiles, making me fall into a daze from the beauty of it.


"Bye Kaylin" I answer, but yet again, she's gone before I've got the words out of my mouth.

Beep
Beep
Beep

I groan, pulling my hand out from under the covers, reaching around trying to find my alarm clock. I find it, the cold plastic hard. I feel up the side of it and bash the top, hitting snooze. Five minutes later, it starts wailing again. I pull my pillow over my head, trying to block out the screams from the clock.

Dylan throws my door open incredibly hard, it smashing into the side of my wall and instantly starts yelling at me "KURTIS. GET UP!"

"Yeah, yeah" I mumble sleepily.

He stomps across my room sounding like five elephants and pulls the blankets off me. Angry, I sit straight up in bed.

"What the hell was that for?" I ask angrily, now wide awake.

"You gotta get up man. You start your internship today!" I bolt out of bed, remembering how today is very important, and rush into the bathroom.
After I'm finished in the bathroom and I open the door, and am greeted with the smell of bacon. My hungry stomach and my overly-sensitive nose lead me to the kitchen. There I find Dylan's girlfriend, Miranda, Standing at the stove in one of Dylan's shirts and slippers, making bacon and eggs.

"Good Morning!" She beams at me, continuing to cook.

"Good morning" I answer, slightly confused.

Dylan comes striding up the stairs, and grins, leaning down to kiss Miranda gently. I look over at Miranda and then at Dylan, and ask, obviously confused "When did she get here?"

"Last night. Right after you went to bed." Dylan replies, as if it’s an obvious answer.

Miranda spins around and pokes me in the chest. She looks up at me, her five foot height short compared to my five foot six stature. She says sternly "Go get dressed! School starts in an hour and a half!" She giggles

I drag myself back to my room and close my door. I go through all my drawers, looking for something to wear. What do you wear on your first day back to school? I'm not a student, but I'm definitely not a teacher yet. I look through every piece of clothing I own, throwing it on my bed. After twenty minutes, I glance over at my bed. Mount. Kurtis was coming back to life again. I plop down on the end of my bed and sigh.

"Miranda" I call weakly. Almost instantly, she’s standing right outside my door leaning against the frame, reminding me Kaylin last night. What is it with girls, and moving so fast?

"What’s up K-pop?" K-pop. I grin slightly. That's what she used to call me back in high school.

"I well I can't." I sigh, and take a deep breath, looking up at her. "I have no idea what to wear today."

Miranda grins. "I'm on it"

She starts moving around my room, like a tornado, throwing clothes around, making my already unkempt room, even more dilapidated. Shirts are flying, pants dancing across the room, my dresser drawers being emptied and my closet being raided. Finally, after a couple minutes the tornado ends and she hands a small stack of clothes to me.

Amazed, I reach out and take the clothes and smile. "Thanks. Your a life savour"

"Its what we girls do" She smiles back and heads to the kitchen to continue cooking.

I close the door to my room and unfold the clothes she’s picked out. Slowly, I pull them on and look in the mirror. Staring back at me I see a man with relatively dark brown hair, sticking straight up, oval blue eyes, the color of ice, a navy blue and white striped American eagle t-shirt, and light blue jeans. Grabbing my comb from my dresser, I ran it through my hair, arranging all my hair into place. I smile at myself, open the door to my room and head towards the kitchen ready for breakfast.

I plop down on a chair at the kitchen table and Miranda brings me a plate with 4 strips of crispy bacon, my favourite (also Kaylin's favourite), two sunny side up eggs and a large glass of orange juice.

I grin up at Miranda, digging into my delicious breakfast, stuffing my face. I glance over at the other end of the table, and see Dylan doing the exact same thing as me.

Once I'm finished breakfast, I gulp down the rest of my orange juice and walk towards the sink. I rinse my plate and glass off, and stick them in the dish washer.

I thank Miranda for breakfast and pull my jacket on. I check my pockets for my car keys and run out the door slamming it behind me and heading towards my car. As I'm about to pull away from the house, Miranda comes running outside still dressed in Dylan's shirt and her fluffy slippers waving something around in the air and yelling at me. I roll my passenger side window down to find I forgot my wallet. She hands it over to me and smiles, wishing for me to have a good day.

After a fifteen minute drive I show up at the high school I'm interning at. I slowly walk up the front steps, looking around at the outside of the school, seeing the names of past grade twelve’s that have finished school here. The beauty and age of this amazing establishment shining back at me.

I step inside the school realizing then the inside is as astonishing as the outside. I see a sign hanging from the ceiling that reads 'All visitors please report to the main office'. Underneath that, there was a large green arrow pointing to the left.

I walk up the stairs, and turn left. I see a big sign reading ' MAIN OFFICE' and I walk towards it. Pulling open the wood door I am greeted by a short cheerful plump women who seems eager to help me.
“Hi, my names Kurtis Langer and I’m interning here with Mrs. Purry”
“Oh, you’re her new intern! Welcome, I’m Mrs. Chea, the secretary here. Just let me page her and let her know you’re here” She walked over to a contraption, and calls for Ms.Purry to report to the office. I realized then that the contraption was the PA system.

A lady, who was about two inches taller than me, with orange-red naturally curly shoulder length hair enters the office, and smiles at Mrs. Chea, and looks over at me.
“Hi Kuris, Its nice to see you again!” She greets me and outstretches her hand, waiting for me to take it.
I take her hand and reply back “And it’s nice to see you again, Mrs. Purry."
“Call me Liza, I’m your co-worker not your boss! But let me show you around again. The students will be arriving soon.”

So Ms. Purry, Liza, shows me around. Some things I remember from my last tour around, like where the photocopy room is, the staff room and the auditorium but most things I don’t remember.

At eight-thirty the bell rings, signifying that the school year has once again began and just like that eight hundred students come barrelling in through the doors, some eager to start their school year while others are thrilled to see their friends.
Liza leads me through the mass of students towards our room. Once inside our room I sit down in my desk in the back corner and watch the grade ten students make their way in, all chatting and catching up.

Suddenly, out of the corner of my eye, I see a long golden pony tail bouncing behind a girl. I turn towards it and look at the person who owns the pony. My eyes widen from shock. It was the girl from Kellen's party. The girl I danced with, the one who is Kaylin’s sister. Her twin sister. I tell myself that it’s not her, that it’s just my eyes playing tricks on me, but by the twisting pain in my stomach I know I’m wrong.

I breathe a sigh of relief when I don't see Kaylin and my entire body relaxes. Maybe my eyes really were playing tricks on me.

Just then, a girl with long blonde hair walks in, staring down at the grown and clutching her binder to her chest. My jaw drops and I feel the sinking feeling in my stomach.

Walking into my grade ten English class is Kaylin. The girl I'd had a date with. The one I hadn't been able to get off my mind for the past two weeks, who made my heart beat a little faster and took my breath away.

And that girl, she was in high school.

I stare at the back of Kaylin’s head dumbfounded. It feels like someone has slapped me in the face, and my heart has been pulled from my chest. Liza comes over to my desk and asks if I’m alright.


"Yes" I mumble back, uninterested and unintelligent.


Liza looks over to where I'm looking, and smiles a little. "Ah yes, that’s Kaylin-erin Horvey. She comes from a family of 9 kids. Daniel, Adam, the twins, Jon, Kyle, William, Sunny and Claira. Her old brother’s have attended school here. Daniel graduated a few years ago, and Adam is in grade twelve. . See over there?" she points to the girl who Kaylin called 'Leens' at the party. "That’s Kaylin's twin sister, Kayleen-marie. The two girls are like day and night, nothing alike, aside from their looks. But that doesn't stop them from always being together." God, isn't that the truth, I think to myself remembering the night of the party.


Liza walks to the front and starts’ talking to the class, telling them what they should expect from this class, what is expected of them. She goes on and on, and finally I just start tuning her out, not listening to the rant.


“Mr. Langer?” Hearing my name pulls me out of my daydreams. I find the entire class twisted in their desks facing me.


“Yes? Sorry.” I mumble back, feeling my cheeks and my neck go red from embarrassment.


“Come up to the front and tell the class a bit about yourself.” I nod and stand up, walk down the aisle between the desks, feeling self conscious because of the 30 pairs of eyes on me.


“Hi, well my name is Kurtis Langer, and I’ll be interning here until December. Um, I’m attending the University of Saskatchewan and once I write my exam in April I’ll be a real English teacher.” I stop and look around at all the students and find that I have everyone’s attention. I glance over at Kayleen-marie, and see that she doesn’t recognize me from that night (she was probably to drunk to remember). Then I shift my gaze to Kaylin and find myself staring at her, my throat getting tighter and tighter. Her shining green emerald eyes, usually filled with love and cheerfulness are now replaced with burning rage and astonishment.


“So um yeah, that’s all.” I walk fast back to my desk and plop down in my chair, wishing I could crawl under my desk and hide.


Mrs. Purry makes her way back up to the front of the class and talks to them about. I try to focus on what she’s saying but I can’t. Then I feel my blackberry vibrate in my pocket. I pull it out and open the message.


“stay away from me.” <: Kaylin~Erin:>


I gulp and continue staring down at the message, not sure what to do or say. Finally the bell rings and all the students rise and leave the room, switching places with a new bunch of students. I watch Kaylin leave the room. She glances back at me, her anger-filled eyes now replaced with pain and regret. I let my head fall and smack the top of my desk and I sigh, not sure how I’m going to deal with this.





The rest of the day flies by, the entire time me being in a daze. I do as I'm told, watching Liza with the classes. The entire time my mind is somewhere else, and she notices this to my dismay.

"Kurtis, is everything alright? I know we haven't know each other very long at all but we will be working closely together this year and I sense something is amiss." I look down at my hands and start fidgeting, something I now always do when I'm uncomfortable.

"I'm alright. It's just things are a little bewildering right now, being here" I force a smile, hoping it looks convincing. She smiles back and nods her head believing my lie.

"I know. I remember what it was like when I started my first day interning. I was terrified. But you don't have to be. Just be strong. It'll get better, and you'll really begin to enjoy this" She smiles back and gets up

I walk outside the school, heading towards my car, when I hear someone yell "Hey Horvey, wait up!" My head snaps to the left at the mention of 'horvey' and I see a boy I don’t know. He has sandy blonde hair, and light green eyes.


“Hey Adam, wanna come over?” I hear a boy ask the ‘Horvey’ kid. I realize then that the sandy haired kid is Kaylin’s brother. I shake my head and climb into my car, starting it and driving out of the parking lot heading home.


Once I arrive at home I flop down on the couch, grab the remote and turn the channel to TSN. I try to watch, but I can't focus on anything but her. I grab my blackberry from the coffee table and reread the message over again, for the millionth time today. It still affects me the same, still making me feel numb. I hit reply, and start to type. I shake my head, erase everything and try again. I do this for what is easily an hour when Dylan comes barrelling into the house and drops down on the chair beside me.


"Hey man. How was your first day?" He grins.


I shake my head, and sigh. "Bad. I was completely unfocused."


"Oh" He looks around, trying to find a way to escape from this conversation.


"Do you have a date with Miranda tonight?" I ask, since I know there's something he wants to tell me.


"Yeah man. I'm sorry" Dylan gets up and walks towards his room


I look at the TV again, trying to watch TSN. But eventually, I drift off into dream land, my mind not being able to take reality any longer

She pins me down, her hair falling around us. She reaches out and runs her fingers across my cheek, then leans in and kisses me gently. I kiss her back, brushing her long blonde hair out of her eyes. I look deep into those green eyes which I love, and kiss her again, more passionate then the first time. I roll over, myself now on top of her. She smiles, making my heart beat faster. I smile back, and start pulling at her shirt. I hear my name. "Kurtis.. Kurtis.." But her lips aren’t moving. I look at her confused, and she smiles at me. "Kurtis... Kurtis" I hear it again, but it's not her voice.


I open my eyes slowly. Someone starts to materialize in front of me. I see Miranda looking down at me, shaking my shoulders and calling my name. "Thank god you’re awake! I thought you were serious hurt or something!"


I look around, slightly confused. Where am I? I rub my eyes and sit up. I realize then I'm in the living room, still on the couch where I fell asleep. I look at the window and see its light out, realizing I've been here since last night. I look down at my clothes, all crinkled and out of place. Miranda comes out of my bedroom as I sit up on the couch, and hands me a stack of clothes, much like yesterday. I reach out and take them, then stumble to the bathroom, running into the wall along the way.


I pull the clothes on she's given to me and splash some water on my face. Looking into the mirror, more awake now, I see my hair sticking up in random directions, like it does every morning. I grab the pink comb sitting on the side of the sink, most likely Miranda's, and brush my hair, putting the pieces in place. I look at myself again, impressed, and then make my way out to the kitchen.


I drop down in my chair and Miranda serves me a plate with 2 strips of crisp, slightly burnt, mouth watering bacon, a waffle drowned in Canadian maple syrup with blueberries and a slice of golden white rye toast, smothered in salt free butter. She places a generously large glass of chocolate milk on the table in front of me. I look up at her, smile thankful, and start digging into my amazingly perfect scrumptious breakfast.


After I'm a quarter way through eating all my food, Miranda sits down gracefully in the chair beside me. She glances over at Dylan, who just joined us, sitting down across from me. Dylan starts talking first.


"Kurtis, I know you like Miranda and I know you know I love this girl. Last night on our date I asked her to move in with us. It's like she basically lives her now anyways, only she'll move in all her stuff. We wanted to talk to you about her moving though" His huge hand reaches for her tiny manicured one and they lace their fingers together.


Miranda jumps in next, almost like they rehearsed this. "I totally understand if you don't want me to move in K-pop, and I totally respect that. It's just I love Dylan and I want to be here with him, and with you"


"Miranda. Move in?" I look up at them, my face stuffed with toast and bacon. I laugh, and swallow the food in my mouth.


"Of course she can! I'm shocked you waited till now to ask her to move in!" Miranda jumps up and wraps her arms around me, giving me a huge bear hug I didn't know someone her size could give. She runs over to Dylan and wraps her arms around his neck, and kisses him.


I smile at them, and see how in love they are. I chug my chocolate milk down and go to rinse my dishes off, when Miranda takes them from me and dismisses me, telling me to head to school. I listen like a good boy, letting her have my dirty dishes. Pulling my jacket on, checking the pockets for car keys, wallet and my cell phone, I open the door and brace myself for what's to come today.





All day at school I can't get her off my mind. I can't just let her go like that. I have to talk to her. I have many arguments with myself over if I should talk to her or not.


Finally, my better side winning, telling me to go find her and talk to her, I look all over the school, looking for her. Finally I see her in the hall way, her back to me. I walk towards her.


"Kaylin w-" I'm cut off by the girl turning around and looking at me confused. My cheeks burn up, realizing I've got the wrong twin.


Kayleen looks me over and smiles up at me. "Hey Mr.Langer did you need something from me?" She asks seductively bating her heavily made up eyes, placing her hand on my arm. I look down at it, just like I did when Kaylin did the same thing to me in the coffee shop, but this time not feeling the energy I did then.


I shake my head. "Sorry Kayleen. I thought you were your twin sister."


Instantly her seductive expression melts and changes to annoyance. She pulls her hand off me and says "Its Kayleen-marie! And FYI my sister isn't here." She spins around and stalks off, obviously pissed.


"It's Kayleen-marie!" I say quietly in a voice that matches hers. I walk back to the classroom, upset that she's not at school today.


For the rest of the week I wait for Kaylin to show up to class, but each day I’m greeted by disappointment when she doesn’t show.


Is it because of me? I think to myself.


Finally, on Friday, after contemplating this for awhile, I send her a text message. After pacing for what seems an hour, and trying multiple times to get it right, I think I finally get it. I read it over just to be sure


“R u okay? u haven't been in class. We need to tlk. Plz? <;Kurtt;>.”


Before I can change my mind, I hit send and my message is on its way up to outer space. I sigh, and drop down on the couch, completely exhausted and anxious to see what she says.


My Blackberry starts to vibrate and my heart starts beating with the anticipation. I open the new text message, to find its only Dylan.


“U gnna be round 4 suppa 2nite? My lady wnts 2 no <;Mr. D;>”


I text back, slightly pissed off at Dylan.


“Yah. <;Kurtt;>”


I shake my head and promise myself, the next time my phone rings, and it's not Kaylin, I won't get upset about it.


After sitting on the couch for twenty-five minutes flipping channels and not paying any attention to the TV, I start to lose hope in her replying to me.


Suddenly, my phone starts vibrating. My heart starts to beat twice the normal speed. I close my eyes, breathing in and out, trying to calm myself in case its not her. I open my eyes and open the message


“Fine. When, where? <;Kaylin~Erin;>”


I start to dance around, feeling like I couldn't be happier. I hit reply and type back


“2morrow? 3? the park? <;Kurtt;>”


“k. <;Kaylin~Erin;>”


I smile down at my phone, feeling as if I've already made progress. I close my eyes and picture how everything will happen, imagining every possible outcome and bracing myself for the worst but hoping for the best.

I pull into the parking lot, and glance down at the clock on my dashboard. Two fourty-five it reads, I realize I've got fifteen minutes to kill.

I look out through my front windshield, gazing at the park, seeing its beauty. The bright rays from the blazing hot sun, beating down on the lake, making it twinkle as if it were a star in the sky. The flowers, slowly swaying back and forth, as if they're dancing to a song.

I climb out of my car, and make my way around to the trunk. I open it, and reach inside, digging through the mess of things I have back there.Shaking my head, and reminding myself that I have to clean this out some time. I continue to dig, thinking that I took it out.

There! I finally see what I want, and I dig towards it. I wrap my fingers around it, the coldness feel good against my fingers. I pull it out of the mountain of junk. Slamming close the lid to the trunk, I walk towards the center of the park.

I turn on my camera, and grinning from ear to ear, I start clicking picture. After I've taken at least fifty pictures, I sit down underneath a tree beside the lake, going through all of them. Some of them I delete, if I haven't captured what I wanted to, and some I keep, loving the way something about the picture pops out and makes you imagine your there, smelling the brisk afternoon air. I click the next button, and a picture of the lake pops up. The sun's rays hit the water just perfect, making a rainbow reflect off it. I take a closer look, and notice in the background that there’s a smudge of brown-gray.
I zoom in on the smudge only to realize it’s a family of Canadian geese, gliding across the water. I look over all the geese, and notice the one at the end of the line is different than all the rest. His head is white with flecks of green, unlike his brothers and sisters who all have heads that are brown. I go on to the next picture, continuing my private viewing session when I hear a small splash. I look down at the lake, and see a goose about ten feet away floating in the water. He keeps his black beady eyes glued to me. Looking around, wishing I had stale bread with me, I pluck a long piece of green grass from the ground. Laying my camera down beside me, I sit up on my knees and lean closer to the water, reaching my right hand out, offering the grass to the goose.

He slowly floats forward, inch by inch, and finally snatches the piece of grass from my hand. I sit back, and watch the goose. After he devours the grass which only takes him a moment, he comes right up to the waters edge close enough for me to touch him. But I don't reach out to touch him, I just sit there and watch him swim around in circles, entertaining me.

After watching him swim for a small amount of time, he stops and gazes up at me, with his black beady eyes. I sense of remembrance slides over me. I reach for my camera, opening the picture of the lake, with the smudge of geese in the back ground. I zoom in on the one with the white head with green flecks. I look down at the goose sitting in front of me. I realize then he's the star from my picture! I lay my camera down, and pluck another couple pieces of grass, feeding him. After he gobbles that up he climbs out of the lake, still watching me. He waddles towards me and stops a few feet away from me, curling into him. I look at him, confused. I know he's trying to tell me something, but I don't understand him. He then starts to quack, loudly. I try to feed him some more grass, but he doesn't want it. No matter what I do, he won't stop. He gets up and starts walking towards me again, a few inches away from me. He reaches his head down and opens his mouth. I start screaming at him, realizing he’s picking up the strap attached to my camera. He picks it up with his beak, and drops it in my lap. He sits down in the position he was in before and gazes at me, a smile almost forming on his face. I look at him strangely not understanding at all. He starts quacking again, so I pick up the camera and turn it on, and focus it on him. He stops yelling then. I snap a picture. He stands up, and starts to fly. I watch him in awe, seeing the way the rays of light hit his wings making them glisten . I snap another one. He lands in the water almost cannon balling creaking a splash so I take another.

After ten minutes and tons of pictures, he comes up beside me and looks straight into my eyes. I click view and we look through all the pictures I've taken of him. I stop for a few seconds on every picture. One of the pictures I'd taken of him standing on a rock I showed him for a few seconds. I think hit next and I get an earful of quacking. I clicked back to it. The goose stares at it for a few moments longer and he hits delete with his beak, gently as to not wreck my camera. I look at him, amazed once again by this goose. He grins at me and I laugh.

"Little goose, I think we're going to become great friends. I'm going to call you Gilbert"

"Quack, Quack!" He replies to me, obviously liking his new name.

I suddenly feel a hand on my shoulder. I spin around startled and see a gorgeous girl standing behind me. I grin, seeing Kaylin.

"Can I sit here?" She asks quietly in her usual manor.

I nod my head yes. Gilbert(my new goose friend) winks at me and flies off.

"Can I- "

" I just- "

We both look at each other, and we burst out laughing. After get over our laughing fit, I reach for her hand, and start talking hoping we don't try to talk at the same time again. "Kaylin, I'm sorry. I didn't realize. If I would have known I wouldn't have.." I trail off with my sentence.

She looks down at the ground. " Kaylin, can you forgive me?"

She looks up, and meets my gaze, her emerald green eyes sparkling.

"Yes. Of course Kurtis. I'm so sorry. I was just so upset with you and myself" She leans in, and wraps her arms around my neck, giving me a hug. I hug her back, holding her in my arms, enjoying the feeling of us being so close. We pull away slowly, our gaze still locked on each other.

I reach up, laying my hand against her cheek. She gasps, shocked by my touch, feeling the same thing as I do. I look down at her perfectly formed pink lips. We slowly lean into each other. When our lips are inches apart she whispers nervously "This is my first time." I smile a little "We'll go as slow as you want."

I press my lips against hers, kissing her softly at first, her lips smooth and delicate. The kiss deepens fast, Kaylin pushing for more, turning our kisses from gentle to passionate. I pull her on top of me, loving the way her body feels being so close to mine. I slip my hands into the back pockets of her jean shorts, not wanting to push her to far. We both pull away, gasping for breath. I look deep into her eyes, seeing the same sparkle as always, but looking deeper I see lust, see that she wants me as bad as I want her.

She tries to lean down and kiss me again but I stop her. She looks into my eyes and hears what I'm saying without having to say it. She reluctantly lays her head against my chest, and I wrap my arms around her. She presses herself closer to me, and sighs happily. We lay there for hours, very few words being spoken, feeling each others presence, the lust between us simmering down. At some point we fell asleep, because when we open our eyes the sun's setting. Kaylin's phone starts to ring and she answers it, sounding groggy.

I hear only one side of the conversation like usual, but I have a feeling the voice on the other end is her older brothers like last time. She confirms my thoughts after she finishes the call.

I offer to drive her home, but she sweetly declines, saying she's more than happy to walk home. I tell her I'm more than happy to drive her home, but she won't hear of it. She kisses me which makes me let go of my thoughts and unhappily agree with her. She stands up and I watch her walk off, heading towards home. I watch her walk for some time, until I can't see her anymore.

I hop in my car and crank up the music, Singing along to the cheesy love song, grinning so big, not being able to contain my happiness. I realize then, that I haven't been this happy in a long time.

The weeks fly by, as if there days. The hours take off, and disappear as if there seconds, ticking by. Every day I see Kaylin, her smile and her beauty always flustering me. My feelings grow, day by day, seeing the way she interacts with everyone makes my heart squeeze. Everyone loves her, all the teachers and all the students. Every time she sees me, her entire face lights up, and she blushes.

Day after day, we meet up at the park, under the same pine tree that we had our first kiss under. We touch and hold hands, and talk and smile but nothing more happens. We enjoy each other's presence and spending time with our feathered-friend, Gilbert.

Ms. Purry asks me to stay after school one day, so she can talk to me.

"How are you enjoying the school year? It seems to be flying by so fast, I just wanted to make sure everything was okay. I can't believe its already mid October"

"I'm really enjoying it, a lot. Everyone is so welcoming here"

She smiles "Yes, they are. But I’ll let you get going. You most likely have plans, and I don't want to keep you from them!"

I smile back at her and thank her. She's right. I do have plans, but not exactly the kind of plans she’s probably thinking of.





I show up at the park, and pull into a stall. I look down at the time and curse. I squint, trying to see past the sun. I look out a little farther, letting my eyes adjust.

There! I see a shape.

I walk towards it. As I get closer I see a faint outline of a girl, and Gilbert. Her backs to me, but I know its Kaylin. She sits on the ground; cross- legged, throwing stale bread at Gilbert, who's floating in the water, by the lakes edge. I hear a quiet, slow song, being sung. I stop in my tracks and close my eyes, listening to the sweet, tender voice.

"... was blind, but now I see..."

She continues singing and I soon recognize the song as Amazing grace. She looks down at her cell phone, checking the time. 4: 15. I see her shoulders slump.

I continue to walk up behind her, but she starts singing another song, one I don't recognize. I stand behind her for a few seconds, letting her sing, not wanting to disrupt the beautiful, joyful sound.

But then the song turns to something else. Rage and Sorrow. She sings about pain and losing someone she loves, and the fight for life. My eyes start to tear up, and I blink them back down. But that doesn't stop them. The tears fall over, and I let them slide down my cheeks.

Kaylin starts to sniffle, and I realize she’s crying. I look over her shoulder now only a few feet behind her, and see her flip over her cancer bracelet. On the back, there's something engraved. I try to see what it says, but I can't. The only thing I can make out is a name. Austin.



I lay my hand on her shoulder, and she spins around, shocked and surprised. Once she sees its me, her hand flies up to her eyes, and starts to brush the tears away, and fix her smudged makeup. But before she’s able brush them away, I slide my thumb below her eyes, brushing them away myself. I feel her suck in a breath, desire building between the two of us.

"Kurtis.." She whispers, her voice filled with lust.

I sit down beside her, and pull her into my lap, curling her hair around my fingers. After a few silent minutes, Kaylin looks at me, sadness filling her eyes.

"I thought you were gonna be a no show"

I shake my head no. "Never. Liza wanted me to stay behind and talk for a few minutes. I'm sorry, I would have called if I knew before"

She sits up "I understand"

As I'm about to respond to her, she presses her lips against mine, kissing me with so much passion and confidence, something I don't recognize coming from her. I kiss her back, then pull away, stunned and breathe-less.

I run my hand over her cheek, cupping her face.

She whispers, her voice husky, the passion and the need coming through loud and clear. "Take my home with you".

I think about home, and how Dylan told me this morning, he and Miranda wouldn't be home till late, if at all.

I stand up, pulling her up with me. I nod my head yes, and pull her into my arms, kissing her briefly but passionately. I direct her to my car, opening the passenger door for her, and closing it behind.

The ten minute drive to the house was silent, but not awkward. We hold hands, and every once in awhile she'd squeeze my hand, and smile up at me speeding my already fast beating heart.

Once we arrived home, I opened her door, and unlocked the house. She stepped in first, looking around, checking the house out.

I look around quickly, making sure its not a total mess, and feeling relieved that its not. Miranda must of cleaned, I think to myself and silently say thanks.

I lead Kaylin to the sectional couch, and she sits down gracefully, sitting up straight, her hands folded in her lap obviously a little nervous being here. I walk over to the fridge and ask if she wants anything to drink. She shakes her head no, but I grab two cans of root beer anyways, knowing its her favourite.

I sit down beside her, putting the two drinks on the coffee table in front of us, pulling her into my lap. I grab the remote and turn on the tv flipping channels.

I feel a set of eyes on me, and I glance over at Kaylin.

"Can I see your room, please" she asks me quietly her eyes not meeting me.

I grab her hand, and direct her to my room. I sit down on the edge of my bed, and she closes the door behind us. She stands in the middle of my room, her hands stuffed into the back pocket of her jeans. She stares at the ground, rocking on the heels of her socked feet.

"Come here" She asks timidly, letting her eyes meet mine. They display something else, something I can't figure out.

I walk towards her, and she kisses me, again surprising me by how passionate she is. She pulls at my shirt, unbuttoning the front, slipping it off my shoulders letting it fall to the floor .

She pushes me back, making me fall onto my bed, then climbs onto of me, straddling me. I stare up at her, wide-eyed, amazed by what’s going on.

She smiles at me, her smile still genuine, happy, but laced with desire as she pulls off her shirt, leaving her there in her bra, and jeans.

My eyes widen more, shocked. She reaches down, grabs my hands, and places them on her back. It takes me only a moment to realize what she’s hinting at and once I realize I do as she wants

So me and my fingers reach down, effortlessly undo the clasp on her satin black lace bra, let it drop to the floor, leaving us both shirtless and wrapped around each other in bed.

The site of seeing her shirtless amazed me, her pale skin vibrant under the lights, reminding me of the white snowflakes falling gracefully outside my bedroom window. I want her more than ever right now. Having her body pressed against mine, half-nude excites me and makes the desire I have for her so much stronger. While running my fingers down her sides and my hands over her hips across the waist band of her jeans makes the spot between my legs grow I started thinking about how maybe this isn’t the right time. Realistically we'd only known each other for close to three months but I felt as if I'd known Kaylin for years.


I look up into the eyes of the girl laying onto of me and realize then that I'm in love.


Leaning down, she presses her lips against mine, kissing me again, but this time letting her hands go down to the button on my jeans. Fiddling with it she gets it undo and starts to slide them down. I take a deep breath and put my hands over hers. She smiles, thinking I'm helping her. I pull her hands away and look into her eyes. Those eyes are soon filled with confusion.


"Stop" I say, my voice sounding confident but also gentle.


"But I thought you wanted this" She looks around, gesturing to us being together half undressed. Her eyes meet mine, and I see hesitation and a fragment of relief.



"I do" I say quickly, not wanting her to feel rejected by me. "But I also don't think this is the time. I want it to be perfect. I want us both to be ready." She looks away slightly embarrassed, her porcelain skin turning red realizing I figured out the truth.
Cupping her face in my hands I turn her head to face me looking her in the eye and with all honesty saying "Kaylin, I'm not going to push you into doing anything you don't want to do. I want this but only when the time is right." Nodding her head yes indicating she understands, I pull my hands away from her cheeks and smile up at her. She smiles back, and kisses me gently. Enjoying this, I kiss her back lustfully showing her I still want her.


Almost on cue her iPhone starts blaring “Fall.” She reaches over grabbing it off my bedside table and answers it, still laying on top of me, my arms wrapped around her. Her happy glowing smile soon melts away and is replaced by a concern.


"Is everything alright?" I whisper faintly. Shaking her head no, my playful smile is traded for concern also.


The call is ended and immediately Kaylin is up, grabbing her clothes and speedily putting them on. I follow her lead only going half as fast as her. Once I'm dressed Kaylin looks over at me face stone serious no recollection of what just happened between us.


"I need a ride" She says, her seriousness scaring me.


"Where too?" I ask, wanting to know what I'm in store for.


"The hospital. It’s Adam, my older brother. He’s been in a deathly accident"

My jaw dropped. I hadn't met any of Kaylin's siblings except for Kayleen but I knew who Adam was. I’d seen him on occasion in the halls at school and in the parking lot. Kaylin talked about her family very little but Adam was a topic that came up briefly, but often. She enjoyed telling me stories like about when she was five he'd put her into his blue tin wagon and pull her around the block in it. Or about how when she was nine and Adam had friends over, she wanted to play with them too. Usually, big brothers would tell their little sisters to go away, but he didn't. Adam and his friends went to the park tobogganing and he brought her along. She spoke highly of him, always admiration in her voice. I could tell they were close even with the 2 year age gap. But that's what made this harder to believe.


We sat in my car, driving to the hospital, silence consuming the air. Kaylin sat stoned faced in the front passenger seat beside me, no emotions on her face portraying how she felt. I understood then that she was probably in shock and denial. Worry starting to eat away at my insides I pushed down on the gas pedal a little harder, speeding up the pace.


Soon, five minutes later, we approach the hospital. About to drive through to pay for a parking spot Kaylin looks over at me and starts to speak.


"Thanks for the ride. I can walk from here."


"Are you sure?" I ask, a little surprised she doesn't want me to come in with her.


"Yes" She reaches for the door handle and opens the door, stepping out. But before she closes it I get a glimpse of her face and see the tears streaming down. My heart squeezes and my gut instinct is to throw my door open and run to her, embracing her and telling her I'll make things better. But when I come back to reality I realize I can't do that and that I've done everything I can do. Still, not having enough will power to drive away, I roll down my window and tell her to call me with news. With a slight shake of her head she continues to walk in through the automatic sliding doors.


I sit there for a few moments staring at the hospital doors. After sitting there for a little bit my mind elsewhere someone pulls up behind me and lays on their horn, scaring me back to reality. I look around realizing I'm sitting in the way for people to pull into the hospital parking lot. Hitting reverse, I drive backwards, turn and head out to the city street again, heading home alone.






When I arrive home I hope to see Dylan or Miranda's car in the driveway but all I see is a thin blanket of snow and white jack rabbit who doesn't stay long once he sees me. I sigh, park my car and stagger into the house lonely already.


I go through the fridge and find a homemade cherry pie Miranda had freshly baked the night before. I consider having a piece but decide against it. Flopping down on the couch I turn to my only companion, the 42 inch flat screen TV. Turning it on I flip through all five hundred channels one by one, killing time.


At some point I fall asleep like I usually do when alone at home watching TV. Miranda wakes me up what seems like a couple hours later. Half awake I roll over and something hits the floor. Now awake I reach down for whatever I've just dropped and find my phone flashing indicating I have a missed alert. I unlock my phone and click through looking to see what I've missed. Four missed calls, three voice mails and six text messages. Going through the missed calls I see that I missed One from Dylan, one from Miranda and two from Kaylin. My heart starts to speed up, remembering what happened this afternoon. Right away I flip over to my text messages find multiple from Kaylin, most variations of “Can you call me?”. I look over at the clock and see its nine-fifty. Crossing my fingers I call Kaylin.


"Hello" A small stuffy sounding voice says.


"Kaylin, Its Kurtis." As soon as I say this the person on the other line starts to cry. The sad sound reminds me of the day in the park when I was late and Kaylin started crying after singing the sad song. My heart clenches, pained by the noise.


“Kaylin, please talk to me" My voice cracks, the sound of her crying causing me tremendous pain.


The voice on the other line answers flatly and as quiet as a mouse. "Come get me" and I do as I'm told. After collecting her address I jump in my car hit the gas and drive over to her house speeding, the regularly fifteen minute drive taking all of ten minutes.

I arrive at Kaylin's house surprised to see how big and luxurious it is. I remember during one of our conversations that briefly flipped to her parents that Kaylin said her mother was a business woman always travelling and her dad a lawyer who was never around. I sit outside the house for a few minutes before deciding to honk the horn. After waiting another five minutes someone short in height opens the curtains, peers outside and closes them again. Thinking its Kaylin I continue to wait patiently. My patients starting to grow strained I decide to sent her a text.


“Here, comin? <:Kurt:>”


After waiting for another five minutes my now non-existent patients turns to worry. Why isn't she coming? Has something happened? I open my car door, close it behind me and walk up the solar-lit walkway.


I knock on the door, not using the brass lion shaped door knocker. While waiting a few minutes, a slight breezes twirls through the air, rustling the autumn coloured leaves and making me cold despite my thick sweater. Starting to realize what a bad idea it was to come knocking on the door it opens, and standing in front of me is a short snotty-nosed kid. My heart jumps into my throat. He doesn't ask questions just walks away flops on the couch in what I would guess to be is the Living room and starts bawling.


Awkwardly, I stand in the door way taking in the bit of house I can see. In front of me is a large stone wall from floor to ceiling probably made from an expensive mixture of granite and marble. Snaking up behind it is a black spiral staircase that I only get a small glimpse of. Wowed by the entrance of her home, Kaylin comes to the door a little shocked to see me standing there. She grabs my hand and ushers me out the door quickly.


Once sitting inside my car she looks at me and I get a real look at her face. Her eyes puffy, and glazed over, covered by makeup trying to hide the fact she's been crying.


"Where do you want to go" I ask gently, not wanting to do anything to push her over the edge.


"Just drive." She turns, putting her seat belt on. I do as I'm told, driving around aimlessly.


Finally deciding on a destination twenty minutes later I drive into a twenty four hour Tim Hortons. I pull the car into a parking spot and glance over at Kaylin flashing her a small smile. She smiles back though her smile is weak. It makes my heart plummet, wishing with all my might that I could do something to make this go away.


I usher Kaylin over to a table by the window and head up to the counter ordering two Ice caps. I sit down across from her, and reach for her hand, taking it in mine. This gets her attention and she drags her eyes from the window towards me letting her sad green eyes fall on me.


"Won't someone realize you’re gone?" I ask her. The question has been on my mind since I picked her up.


"No, probably not. Everyone is to busy crying and pitying themselves. Dad is at the hospital beside Adam's bed; Daniel has all the other kids to watch at home and Mom's on a plane ride home from New York tonight. No one will notice"


"Oh" My stupid response is. But I don't know what else to say.


After sitting for few minutes a tear escapes, much to Kaylin's dismay and it slides down her cheek. I reach over and brush it away. Still looking down at the table, I gently tilt her head up, making her look at me. My eyes bore into hers, saying a million things without uttering a word. With that, she launches into the whole story.


"Adam was out with his girlfriend Maddy. They were just coming back from seeing a movie. It was some chick flick Adam didn't really wanna see but Maddy begged him to see it so they went. Maddy could convince him to do just about anything. They were driving down a street coming home after the movie when it hit them. It caused them to fly from the car." By this point she's crying silently and her grip on my hand is strong and tight. "The police said maddy said he crawled from where the car threw him over to Maddy and held her hand telling her everything would be alright. Maddy's okay, a broken rib. Why, why would someone hit my brother and drive away?" Now she’s crying. Tears are streaming down over her cheeks and her shoulders are shaking. People are staring at us, questioning looks on their faces.


I stand up, pulling her up with me. "Common, lets get out of here. I'll take you home."


Through her tears and hiccups she says "I can't go home"


Not sure where to take her my shoulders slump a little. Kaylin then helps me out suggesting I take her to my house. I take a deep breath, realizing that Dylan and Miranda are about to meet Kaylin.

Kaylin informs me that she needs to use the washrooms before we leave. I take this opportunity to text Dylan and Miranda hoping and praying one of them check their phones before we arrive home.


“dnt ask questions when I walk in. ill explain l8er <;Kurtt;>”


I drive home normal speed, occasionally stealing a quick glance over at Kaylin. Even in the state of sadness her beauty still stuns me. Her slightly waved golden brown hair though a bit greasy, tumbles down over her shoulders, framing her face, falling two inches below her shoulder blades. Her eyes, puffy from crying still twinkle like a shinning star and are the colour of the most beautiful emeralds. Pink and full, her lips, slightly cracked but still kissable and visibly soft. Though snotty and red, her nose is still small and shaped like a button, completing her pulchritudinous face.


I pull into the driveway, slightly embarrassed of my home now that I've seen her house. She opens the door and steps out, walking up to the door. Her walk usually gracefully, now slumped and defeated, she waits for me to open the door. As soon as we step in Dylan and Miranda's eyes turn right to us. Hoping they read the message I sent them, I offer a small smile and lead Kaylin to my room.


Laying down on my bed, she pulls out her iPhone and checks for any new messages. With a sigh she puts it down on the bedside table and curls up under the blankets. Kissing her cheek, I tell her to make herself at home and with that she nods her head at me, staring at something unknown.


I go out to the living room and see an eager ready smile on Miranda's face and a wondering look on Dylan's. I drop down beside them on the couch and launch into the story.


"Her name is Kaylin, I met her at the party. The one you dragged me to" Miranda shoots Dylan a dirty look. "Her brother got into a very bad accident and she doesn't want to be alone. She called me, so I picked her up. She doesn't want to be at home so I said should could crash here"


Miranda jumps up. "If she’s been through something so horrible the girl is probably starving! I'll make something for her." Eyeing me up and down she adds" And you." Not bothering to argue with Miranda, and inform her that we aren't going to die from hunger I go back to my room.


Kaylin is curled up on my bed, a scrapbook beside her. I look closer to find that it’s a scrapbook from when I was younger, one that my mother made. She glances up at me, studies my face, then the little boy who looks to be about nine in the picture. She smiles seeing the similarities. I sit down beside her, laying my hand on top of hers and she glances up at me.


"Are you hunger"


"A little" She admits


I smile. "Good! Come, lets eat"


Grabbing her hand I drag her out from under the covers and pull her through the living room where Dylan is sprawled out on the couch to the Kitchen where Miranda is working hard at cooking us a meal. A few minutes later Miranda serves us a delicious looking pasta salad, a small chicken breast and crème corn. Kaylin looks down at her plate slightly horrified.


"You didn't have to go to the trouble to cook me this! I would have been okay with grilled cheese or cereal or something" Just then Dylan sits down in the chair beside me. We both look at each other and burst out laughing. Kaylin looks at us not understanding why were laughing so hard. Looking over at Miranda, she sees that Miranda is now the one wearing the horrified expression. Deciding to let Kaylin in on the joke I explain to her.


“We don't have cereal here. Miranda won't let us eat it; or grilled cheese. I don't think we even own cheese slices."


“But she went to all this work to cook this for me! I really didn't need something this fancy" Kaylin replied.


"Fancy? It’s not fancy. Its supper! And anyways I have no problem cooking for Kurtis' girlfriend" Miranda announced happily.


Kaylin and I stared at each other finding the situation now awkward. She looked down at her food and digs in, eating everything on her plate.






Later, Kaylin and I were alone together in my room sitting on my bed looking through more scrapbooks of me.


"What are we?" Kaylin blurts out.


A tad bit confused I answer “what do you mean?"


Kaylin looks away slightly embarrassed. “About what Miranda said, what are we?"


Now understanding what she's asking. “I don't know, what do you want us to be?"


“I kind of liked being called your girlfriend" Kaylin answers timidly, her emerald eyes meeting my ice blue ones.


I smile, liking the sound of it too. "Then that’s what you are. You’re my girlfriend"


We continuing looking through scrapbooks of me for hours, seeing pictures of me on my first day of Kindergarten and all through elementary school. At the back of my elementary scrap book was a picture though. It was a picture of me on my high school graduation night, or what looks like me. Kaylin stops at this one, looking at it and examining it more than she did the other ones. She looks at me and then back at the picture, like she’s done with every other picture.


Finally she says “You look exactly like him. Who's that?"


Memories hit me like a tidal wave. "That's my uncle. He was like my dad for my entire life"


"Oh, what happened" She asks, not wanting to push but wanting to know more.


"He was a fire fighter, died on the job. My uncle worked with him. He witnessed it"


"I'm sorry" She says sadly, not pushing for more details than that. Instead she leans over and kisses me gently. She then lies down and I lay down beside her, closing my eyes and following into a deep happy sleep.

Images flood my mind. Pictures of her beautiful face and bedazzling smile. Those emerald green eyes, the compassion and strength that shines through them. It all makes my heart beat, my love for her strong. I'd do anything for her, climb over any snow covered mountain or walk through any water running valley.


At that moment I was awoken from my peaceful sleep by the bright sun beating down through my bedroom window. Rolling over I find the spot beside me deserted, the comforter and sheets mangled, obviously slept in. I glance over at the clock, seeing its red glowing face stare back at me reading nine-thirty. Smiling to myself, I assume the girl of my dreams in just in the bathroom. I roll back over and look out my window, a thin blanket of white stares back at me, a pine tree standing tall and swaying back and forth, dancing slowly in the gentle breeze.


Dylan knocks on the bedroom door then walks in.


"Where’s Kaylin?" He asks confused


"In the bathroom" I answer groggily. Dylan shakes his head no, disagreeing with what I've just said.


"No she’s not. I was just in there" Worried, I sit up and look around confused. There, on my dresser is a paper that wasn't there before. Jumping out of bed and reaching for it, I read "Left early this morning, heading for the hospital. Thanks for letting me crash here." At the bottom of the page was a heart and Kaylin's name. I sigh, slightly upset that she left without waking me up and saying goodbye.


Dylan realizes then that I wasn't aware that she left. Not really sure what to do, he awkwardly comes and sits down on my bed beside me.


"I'm sorry man" He says, not sure what else to say.


I look over at him, and give him a weak smile. I stand up, look down at him.


“Is Miranda cooking anything for breakfast?" I ask, trying to brighten things up some. Dylan grins at me.


“I'm not sure, but lets go find out."





All day I stay home watching TV and hanging out with Dylan like we used to. The entire time my mind wanders, not completely paying attention to what he's saying. My mind is on her, wondering how she's doing, what she's doing. Every ten minutes I check my phone, hoping she’s called or texted me and each time I'm disappointed. Finally after waiting all day I let my weaker side win and I send her a message.


“evrythng alrite? call wen u can <;Kurtt;>”


After waiting all day, I begin to lose hope. Why isn't she replying to me? I ask myself. That night I go to bed feeling sad and alone, something I haven't felt in a very long time.

The next week goes by in a slow blur. I text Kaylin regularly, asking the same questions. I never once received a message back which starts to worry me. None of the Horvey clan attends school and none of their teachers know why. Friday after school Lisa comes up to me and asks to have a word with me.

"Kurtis are you alright? You haven't been acting like yourself the past couple days. You seem upset, your mind elsewhere" Lisa looks into my eyes, worry and understanding plastered to her face.

"I'm okay, just dealing with some things in my personal life"

"Oh. Well I hope you're aware that you can speak with my regarding anything" Sympathy crosses her face. At that moment I almost break. My feelings hit me like a tidal wave and all I want to do is sit down and confess everything to her. But I push the thought away knowing full well that I can’t do that.

“Thank you Lisa." With that I stand and head for the door of the classroom, leaving for the day.




I step out of my car and slam the door behind me. I close my eyes, letting the familiar smells rush towards me. My feet walk the path they know well and my ears listen to the swish of the lake and the calling of birds. The calm quiet sounds soon turn into one that I know, but am not familiar with. I open my eyes slowly and see a silhouette of a girl. What I see is not what stops me in my tracks, it’s what I hear. My ears are privileged to the most glories sound ever, a beautiful song, about love and hate, death and life. Not recognizing the song I continue to stand there transfixed. The song melts into tears and I know then who it is.

I run to her and sit beside her pulling her close to me. She doesn't struggle or push me away but relaxes in my arms and cries harder. Once the crying stops we just sit there, me enjoying the feeling of holding her again.

"I'm sorry I haven't text you back. Things have been so crazy at home and I just didn't know what to do or what to say and-" Her sentence is interrupted by a hiccup, and her shoulders start to shake again. I take this moment as my opportunity.

"Shh stop. It doesn't matter. We're together now." I say, cutting her off.

She looks up at me her big emerald eyes stealing my breath away just like they did the first time we met. I lay down, pulling her on top of me. She smiles and kisses me and we lay like that, neither of us talking, just laying enjoying the other’s presence.

Her phone rings, interrupting our quality time as it often does. She checks the caller ID and her entire face drains of colour. On the second ring she picks it up. Her responses to the person on the other end are short and flippant. She ends the call fast, obviously not wanting to deal with whoever was on the other end of it.

"It was my mother. Adam is doing fine." Kaylin informs me. Speaking with her mother for that short of period shows me how close they are which is not at all. Itching to ask the same question since I found her sitting here I finally ask it.

"Why aren't you with Adam?" I ask gently, not wanting to upset her anymore than she already is.

With a frustrated sigh she answers my question "My mother kicked me out. She says I don't need to be spending so much time up there and that some of the other kids should get to. She talks about us like were property."

Again her cell phone rings but this time she answers it a little more cheery and her tone isn't as flippant. She looks up at me when she ends the call, a guilty expression on her face.

"What?" I ask her, wanting to know what’s going on.

“Can you give me a ride home, Daniel wants to go see Adam and that means I need to be at home.” With a nod, we both stand up and get into my car and I take her home.

After I drop Kaylin off at home I decide that I should head home. I walk in the door and find Dylan and Miranda sprawled out on the couch, only paying attention to the laptop on the coffee table in front of them.


“Hey guys" I call, as I walk into the house.


Miranda comes barrelling at me, obviously excited by something.


"Guess what, Guess what. Oh my gosh you'll never guess. Okay I should let you try to guess first. Okay so guess. Guess I said. Guess guess guess !" Playing into Miranda's excitement which I often do I answer.


“Oh my gosh what what what!" Dylan rolls his eyes at me, knowing that I'm making fun of her.


"Ed Sheeran is coming to town!" I stand there dumbfounded, not knowing who she’s talking about. Finally the connection clicks and I realize that's Kaylin's artist. Wanting to do something nice for her that would make her happy I log onto ticket master and order two tickets for the show. Thrilled with what I've done, I head to bed thinking about how I'll tell her in the morning.

Beep beep, beep beep, beep beep. Beep beep, beep beep, beep beep.


Groaning I roll over and smack the top of my alarm clock, making it shut up. Smiling to myself I roll over again and snuggle into my warm bed. This doesn't last long though.


“K- pop time to get up!" Miranda's squeaky voice announces to me. Knowing she’s right I slowly roll out from under the covers and drag my lazy ass to the bathroom.

After, I make my way to the kitchen finding a hot steaming breakfast sitting on the table waiting for me. I plop down into my regular chair and stuff my face, burning my lip on the sizzling hot bacon. Finished with my breakfast, I stand up and walk back to my room zombie-like.


As I leave to walk out the door Miranda's small voice calls after me "Don't forget to tell Kaylin about the tickets!"





Arriving at the school, seeing kids mingling around with each other, smiling and laughing reminds me of my days in high school. Watching all the students milling around I’m oblivious to the person walking straight towards me. I ran smack into someone and hear a squeal.


“Oh my, I’m so sorry!” I say to the person I’ve just run into. I bend down to pick up the papers and books I’ve just caused this person to drop


“It’s okay, it wasn’t your fault. I wasn’t paying attention either” With that, I look up at the person, recognizing the voice. It’s Kaylin I’ve just run into. She blushes and starts to stammer, caught off-guard by our encounter. While were at school she avoids me at all costs, trying to make things a lot less awkward between us. She’d even transferred out of Mrs. Purry’s English class.


“Oh, Kurt- I mean Mr. Langer I didn’t see you there I-I-I’m sorry.” Her eyes start to shine, and her cheeks start to grow red. She nervously tucks a lock of hair behind her ear, though a strand falls back in her face. My fingers itch to reach out and tuck that strand behind her ear.


“It’s okay Mrs. Horvey. Don’t worry about it” I flash my smile at her. With that she scurries off. That’s when I notice her sister standing there, a confused look on her face. She goes off, fallowing her sister.





The day goes by like any other, Kaylin making frequent appearances in my mind. At one point in the day Mrs. Purry gives me the task to go to the photocopy room to make copies of an assignment. Happy to be given something to do I make my way through the halls and down the stairs to the photocopy room. Once I've approached the big wooden door I try turning the knob but it doesn't turn. I reach into my pocket and pull out my string of keys and push my school- provided key into the hole. I walk into the room and head straight towards the photocopier that sits in the centre of the room.


"Hi" A small voice says. I jump frightened.


"Oh. Hi Kaylin. Why aren’t you in class?"


“I was sent to come get paper but I can't find the right size" With that she turns away from me and keeps ruffling through the shelves looking for it. I set the first page on the copier and push 50.


"Did you check the top shelf?" I ask, trying to be helpful.


"Oh. No I didn't. Thanks" she replies, the air in the room cold, awkwardness filling it. She climbs up onto the cupboard and digs around the top shelf.


"Yes I found it!" She announces proud of herself. She goes to turn around and jump down when her feet get tangled around each other. She sucks in a big breath, ready to scream. I drop the papers in my hand, them scattering across the ground and run towards her. Just when she starts to scream she falls into my arms.


"Oh my god are you okay" I ask, frightened over what just happened.


“yes, thank you" She answers quiet as a mouse and meets my eyes. I suck in a breath of my own, awed by her beauty as I always am. Her sparkling green emerald eyes saying a thousand things, apologizing and thanking me all at once.


"Shh" I whisper, my voice husky, and press my lips against hers. She replies right away, kissing me back, gently at first, but the need and the want soon coming to replace the gentleness. Her body still in my arms from when she fell, I place her on the counter and cup her face in my hands not missing a beat. We pull back from each other, our breathing heavy and laboured. At that moment we lean back into each other to keep kissing when the door opens. Kaylin realizes someone is there before I do and she jumps down from the counter, grabbing the stack of now crumpled paper beside her. Clearing her throat she heads for the door.


“Thanks for helping me find the paper" She says. To the person standing there her voice wouldn't give away any emotion, but I can clearly hear the lust still there. With that she turns and walks away. That's when I realize who the person standing in the door way is.


Kayleen-marie, Kaylin's twin sister. Glaring at me with such a fierce look that I know she knows what just happened.


If looks could kill I'd be dead twice over

Do you think she knows what happened?" Kaylin asks nervously. We'd been on the phone for fifteen minutes and the entire time all we've talked about is whether or not her sister had witnessed our intimate encounter that day in the photocopy room.


"Kaylin I doubt she knows what happened." I say for easily the thirty-sixth time. But I know that Kayleen knows what happened. The look she gave me before she walked out of out the photocopy room could only suggest that she knows. But I wasn't about to tell Kaylin this.


"Now listen to me. I want to tell you something" Silence answers me on the other end of the phone. "I got us tickets to Ed Sheeran” Screaming is the only answer I get now. High, Blood-curdling screams.


"Oh my gosh really? ohmygosh thank-you thank-you thank-you thank-you!"


"You're welcome. It’s on Friday"





The week went on like any other. Kaylin and I met up after school. We spent every moment we could together, but anytime we passed each other in the hall she wouldn't even glance in my direction. Finally, Friday came and all day I got text messages from her. So many variations of I’m so excited I lost count. The moment the bell rang signalling the end of the school day my phone started buzzing. A picture of Kaylin's bedazzling face bouncing across the screen, telling me that it's her calling.


"Hello" I answer, confused why she'd phone me when I was about to see her in less than an hour.


"Hey Kurtis. I can't see you after school today- I have to get ready for tonight. I'm sorry"


"Oh it's okay. We'll see each other tonight"


"What time will you pick me up?" She asks.


“Seven. The concert starts at eight-thirty" I answer.


“'Kay see you then! Bye!" and she hangs up. Smiling to myself, I walk out the doors of the school. But standing outside the doors is an angry-looking Kayleen-marie. She walks up to me, her hands on her slim hips, stopping me from being able to get to my car.


"Stay away from her. You'll regret it if you don't." With that she spins around and stomps off, her blonde pony tail bouncing behind her. The same blonde pony Kaylin has. She gets into a blue ford 1983 mustang and it speeds off, squealing the tires and leaving a cloud of smoke behind. I sigh, knowing I have to tell Kaylin what just happened, but dreading it.

I pull up outside Kaylin's house and put the car into park. I grab my phone that's sitting on the passenger seat beside me and shoot Kaylin a quick message. I'm greeted by a face looking out through the curtains that smiles out at me. I smile back. Kaylin then comes running out through the door, wearing a solid black t-shirt and a pair of blue jeans. Her blonde hair tumbles down over her shoulders, curled away from her face and her emerald eyes are ringed in make-up making them pop more than usual.


"Hey, wow you look great" I say when she gets into the car. She looks away, her face reddening from embarrassment.


"Thanks" she replies quietly and squeakily.


“To the concert!" I say, making Kaylin giggles


“To the concert!" She announces back.






Trying to find a parking spot was near impossible. Every possible spot within four blocks was taken. We'd driven around looking for twenty minutes when finally we gave up and pulled into a spot barely big enough to fit my car. I got out and closed the door behind me than went and opened Kaylin's door for her.


"Oh. Thanks" She says quietly. I take her hand and pull her from the car and lace my fingers together with hers. She looks over and smiles, her eyes twinkling with excitement.


As soon as we walk into the Union centre we're greeted by swarms of people. Groups of people are gathering waiting to get into the arena and take their seats, others standing in line for pictures with cardboard cut-outs of Ed and some standing in line for merchandise. I glance over at Kaylin and see her entire face light up, as if she's a little kid in a candy shop for the first time in her life. I make my way to the t-shirt stand, pulling a stunned Kaylin behind me. Once we get into line moments later a gigantic group of people who were standing in line at the cut outs scream and run past us, pushing us out of line. Slightly confused, I pull Kaylin back into line. Once we get up farther in line and I purchase two t-shirts Kaylin starts pulling on my hand and I don't understand why. I look in the direction she's pointing and I see the reason for all the screaming and pushing. Standing in a corner surrounded by hundreds of people is Ed Sheeran. Literally dragging me, Kaylin and I make our way over to the group of people so he can sign Kaylin's shirt. Once he's signed it and Kaylin pulls it on over her black t-shirt. I pull the tickets out of my pocket and we make our way into the arena to sit down for the concert. We only barely find our seats when the lights start to dim and the crowds start to roar.


"Good evening everyone. My names Ed Sheeran”


And then the concert began.

"That was amazing!" Kaylin screams over her shoulder to me, trying to be hear above the loud roar of the crowd. I smile down at her, and press my hand against the small of her back, keeping her walking forward.


Finally we get to the doors of the building and I reach for Kaylin's hand. I look down at our hands; our fingers knotted together, her small soft hand in my larger one. She smiles up at me, her eyes twinkling, and her cheeks flushed. I smile back down at her. We walk out to my car hand in hand. I open the car door for her and she climbs in gracefully. Sliding the keys into the ignition and turning them I start the car. I pull out of the parking lot slowly, being careful as to not hit anyone. We drive slowly, not hitting the speed limit, until we hit the outskirts of the city. Once we do I hit the gas and we start speeding down the street.


I glance over at Kaylin and ask "Did you enjoy yourself?"


"Yes yes yes! Thank you so so much! I love you!" She leans over and kisses me. I pull away slowly from the kiss, thinking I've misheard what she just said.


“Did you just say you love me?” I ask, slightly stunned.


Kaylin glances down at her hands, and starts fidgeting. "Yes" She whispers. We sit we like that for a few moments, the awkward silence hanging between us. Finally she looks up at me, meeting my eyes. I smile at her.


" I love you too" I answer back. She smiles back at me, relieved that I said it back. She reaches out her hand, and I take it in mine.


She leans over and flicks on the radio, and starts jamming out to tunes, singing along and giggling while I drive. Suddenly she stops singing and squints, looking forward at something.


"Aren’t those lights?" She asks.


Confused I answer " Yeah, they're lights. Everyone has their lights on right now- we're driving in the dark"


"No" She answers "In front of us, coming towards us. Those are lights" I squint, trying to figure out what she's talking about. But then I see what she means. I see the lights driving towards us. I flip my brights on and off, signalling to the other drivers that there headed straight for us.


"They're not stopping!" Kaylin says panicking. I lay on the horn, hoping to get their attention. But that doesn't help.


“Kurtis do something!" Kaylin starts yelling at me, and crying. The drivers are twenty feet in front of us, seconds away from smashing into us. So I do the only thing I can think of. I slam the wheel to the left, trying to get out of the other driver's way.


But suddenly I hear a horn wailing, and Kaylin starts to scream. A blood curdling scream.


"Kurtis, Kurtis, Kurtis!" Bright lights shine directly into my eyes and I hear a smash.


A crunch.


I smell burning.


Metal burning.

I squeeze my right hand, waiting for a squeeze back, but it never comes. I glance over to the right and see nothing except orange and yellow. No Kaylin; just orange and yellow, dancing. I immediately start to panic. I try to unbuckle my seat belt, but can't find the button to unbuckle myself. I look down and see the seat belt cutting into my stomach. Blood is pouring from where the seat belt is. I don't stop though, I find the button and pull the seat belt from my stomach and crawl out the window. The pain is barely bearable, but all I can think about is Kaylin. Where is she?



I do a walk- crawl down the street and try to yell for Kaylin. But nothing comes out of my throat. What is happening?


Determined to find her I keep going, but I collapse to the ground. I'm finding it impossible to keep my eyes open. I lay back. Kaylin, Kaylin. That's all that goes through my mind. That and pain. I look down at my stomach and see that my shirt is now red. I press my hand against my stomach and see the red river start to slow.


I look around, trying to find Kaylin. But I can't see her. But whats that? I squint. A shoe, that's a shoe. Kaylin's shoe! With hope, and determination I pull myself up and stumble towards the shoe. I pick it up. But it's not just a shoe I pick up. Attached to the shoe is a foot, jaggedly cut, right through the ankle bone. I lean over and throw up, half of it on myself.


I listen quietly for a moment and hear something. I pay a bit more attention to it and hear what is being screamed


"Kurtis, Kurtis!" My ears perk up. I would know that voice anywhere. I follow the voice, but suddenly I stop, Because the voice is coming from a flame.


"Kurtis!" I hear it again. I walk towards it, and see Kaylin.


The flames are covering her, licking at her. I try my best to get towards her. I walk through a flame and I can't help but scream myself. The pain is tremendous. I drop to the ground and drag myself, using my arms. But I can't get any closer. The dancing orange and yellow are like a person. They start to take shape, orange and yellow people, dancing, singing, and screaming. I try to scream over them.


"Kaylin!" My voice she heard. She tilts her head towards me and I see her face. Her golden blonde hair that I love so much has been fried off, but it’s her emerald-like eyes that catch my attention. They sparkle, as they always do. If I look hard enough its almost like nothing is happening. It’s almost like we're still in the park, and I'm still looking into her eyes. But suddenly the sparkle starts to fade. I look down at her perfect pink lips. They start to form words, words that I can't hear. But I pay attention, look hard and try to read them. Then I do. I know what they say


Remember me.


I love you.


Then her head falls to the side, and all colour from her face is drained. Her eyes don't sparkle and her lips aren’t smiling. I look down at her body, the body that I loved to run my hands over. But beneath it I see something.


A pool of red.


A river of red.


Just like what’s coming from my stomach. I start to yell. I scream. I don't know if anyone hears them though. I know I don’t hear them.


Suddenly I start to hear a wailing sound. It sounds like a fire truck. I start to smile, remembering when I used to go to the fire station with my dad. But then he died. So my uncle started taking me. He used to let me ride in the front seat.


But then I hear nothing.


My mind goes blank.


I fall into darkness.

Blue sparkly fabric. Swish Swish Swish back and forth. My eyes trail up the fabric, the light blue fabric. I see the face that the fabric is attached to.


Kaylin.


She's wearing a blue dress. Walking slowly down the spiralling staircase, her small silver heels clicking with each step she takes. I step forward and stretch my hand out. She takes it and steps onto the ground. Even with her heels on she’s still a few inches shorter than me. I smile down at her and let my fingers brush through her hair. Golden hair, rolled into perfect curls, her bangs out of her eyes. Her cheeks slightly rosy, as they always are. She smiles back at me, her pretty pink lips curled upwards. She opens her mouth to speak.


"Kurtis, Kurtis. Can you hear me?" I look at her confused. A deep voice is coming from her mouth. She continues to smile at me. "Open your eyes. You can do it, K-pop" I frown, my confusion turning into worry. What is she talking about? Then out of nowhere something happen.


Flames start to encircle her. I jump back, and she lets go of my hand. Still smiling at me, I start to call to her, but nothing changes. Her lips still are turned up in a smile and that smile never wavers. The flames start to move in on her. They start sliding up her body, eating away at the flesh. I scream and yell and beg her to come towards me but nothing changes.


Suddenly I'm looking straight into the eyes of girl. And this girl starts screaming. "K-pop oh my gosh K-pop! Dylan he woke up! Get the doctor oh my god are you okay! Oh K-pop!" I reach up with my hands and cover my ears. But something weird is attached to them. I look down and see more tubes than I can count attached to my arms. I open my mouth to talk but nothing comes out. I start to yell but nothing more than a moan comes out. I try twisting and turning this way and that, but the girl pushes my shoulders down and tells me to lay still. Just then another woman comes into the room, this one in a matching green shirt and pants outfit.


She pushes the other girl out of the way and pins me down herself.


"Kurtis, you need to stop moving. Kurtis stop. I'm the doctor. Relax" She knows my name. I stop moving around, immediately trusting her.


She nods her head and shines a light in my eyes. I twist away from the light. But she tries to shine it in my eyes again. I hear the wail of a truck horn and the screams of Kaylin beside me. Then I see a shoe with a foot attached. I see Kaylin's lifeless body laying on the ground, being eaten alive by the flames.


I start squirming again, and start pulling at the tubes on my arms. I scream this time, actual words coming out my mouth.


"Kaylin, Kaylin, Kaylin!" The nurse tries to push me down again, tries to make me stop, but I don't. I think I slap her in the face but I don't remember. All I remember is everything going funny colours and then everything fading into blackness..

Four Months Later.




I slide my hand across the smooth, cold head stone. I trace the words with my fingers.


Beloved daughter.


Forever Cherished Sister.


Remember me.


Tears spark my eyes again, as they do every time I visit, which has become easily three times a week. I lay a flower down, beside the pile of other ones. A flower for every day I visit. I sit down beside the grave stone and start talking. I talk about my day, about Dylan and Miranda, about her family, about everything.


I reach into my back pocket and pull out the picture of her. I lay it on the grass beside me and imagine she's beside me not six feet below. After awhile I just lay there and think about that night. The night that forever changed my life, and many others’.


After leaving the concert we were driving down the road and a car was driving towards us. The people in the car driving towards us were from Australia and in Australia they drive on the opposite side of the road.


When I laid on my horn they realized they were on the wrong side of the road and swerved out of the way. Well they ended up rolling their car in the ditch. Both people in the car died.


When I drove into the wrong lane to try and get out of their way a semi-truck driver was coming. His lights were burnt out and he was falling asleep at the wheel. His truck drove over my car, and sent Kaylin flying due to the speed that he was going when he hit us. He survived but two weeks after the accident committed suicide because the guilt was too much for him to handle.


Kaylin died, and I was the only survivor. They weren't sure if I would survive. When the paramedics arrived on scene I had fall unconscious but they were able to wake me up. The only words I spoke though were "Tell Adam. Kay said Remember me".
After that I actually died. They were able to revive me, but I was in a coma for two weeks. During those two weeks the funeral was had for Kaylin. It was closed casket as there wasn't much left of her.


Footsteps. I snap out of my thoughts and see the person causing the footsteps. Kayleen-marie walks towards me. Kaylin's twin sister. The girls used to look identical-
When I first met them I thought they were the same person. But those girls were like night and day; totally different. After Kaylin died Kayleen had fallen into a deep depression. She tried to kill herself once, but Adam was able to stop and save her. Now Kayleen goes to a therapist.


Thinking back to the night I met Kayleen and looking at her now I can barely recognize her. She once had long golden blonde hair (the same as Kaylin's) but was now died dark brown. So dark it's almost black and was cut jaw length. Her emerald green eyes are ringed in such heavy black makeup that it's almost impossible to see her eyes, never mind tell that their green. Her usual fashion of covering the minimum amount of skin had turned into the opposite. She almost always wears a black long sleeved shirt and black jeans, with Kaylin's converse shoes. Hanging across her neck is a golden cross with a diamond in the middle. The necklace I gave to Kaylin, one of the few things that was with Kaylin when she died, and that made it through the fire in one piece.


Kayleen sits down beside me and pulls out a sketch pad. She starts drawing something. I don't look over and try to find out what it is she’s drawing.


I stand up and walk away, letting her be alone with her sister. I walk the hour long walk from the cemetery to the park. I haven't driven since the accident. I sit down under a tree. The tree that used to be ours, I think to myself.


Quack Quack.


I look over to my left and see Gilbert. Behind him trails four baby geese. He comes over and sits beside me, while his four babies jump into the lake. Quacking back and forth they talk to each other happily. But Gilbert doesn't follow them in. He lays his beak on my knee and sits their silently beside me.


Together we sit there remembering.


Remembering how things used to be.


Remembering her.


Remember me.



Similar books


JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This book has 0 comments.