Fading Broken Dreams

June 16, 2011
By OfficialApprover PLATINUM, Orefield, Pennsylvania
OfficialApprover PLATINUM, Orefield, Pennsylvania
48 articles 0 photos 1754 comments

Favorite Quote:
Grab life by the balls. -Slobberknocker
We cannot change the cards we're dealt just how we play the hand
Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted
It's pretty easy to be smart when you're parroting smart people
-Randy Pausch


Summary:

Elsa has always walked alone, save for Caro, the stuffed bear.
Walked on this road of forgotten things, abandoned things,
abandoned creatures. Flown with the wind and clung to the air
until she inevitably fell once more.
Then something changes.
People from the dirty, flashing cities along the way begin to
find the way there. They do not know where it is. They do not
know what it is. They do not know who the flying girl with the
stuffed bear is.
And they don't know the rules of the road.
Objects begin disappearing. Smaller ones she never noticed, large
ones she'd always known. She has no idea where they've
gone, but she does know the road beneath her has begun to
disintegrate.
A man has come from the cities, but unlike the others, he refuses
to return.
The shadows that always clung to the trees, hid their faces from
the sun, have become bolder. They attack, they destroy. They are
angry.
Elsa's silent life is cracking at the edges, fading into
chaos.


Lexie B.

Fading Broken Dreams


Similar books


JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This book has 8 comments.


on Aug. 3 2011 at 8:22 pm
OfficialApprover PLATINUM, Orefield, Pennsylvania
48 articles 0 photos 1754 comments

Favorite Quote:
Grab life by the balls. -Slobberknocker
We cannot change the cards we're dealt just how we play the hand
Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted
It's pretty easy to be smart when you're parroting smart people
-Randy Pausch

Thank you. :D

--------- said...
on Jul. 29 2011 at 4:40 pm
---------, De Queen, Arkansas
0 articles 0 photos 59 comments

Favorite Quote:
---

It really is like a dream. Amazing.

on Jul. 8 2011 at 3:47 am
OfficialApprover PLATINUM, Orefield, Pennsylvania
48 articles 0 photos 1754 comments

Favorite Quote:
Grab life by the balls. -Slobberknocker
We cannot change the cards we're dealt just how we play the hand
Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted
It's pretty easy to be smart when you're parroting smart people
-Randy Pausch

Thank you so much for the comment! :D  And Caro does actually talk, as does Mote; it's not just her imagination.

on Jul. 7 2011 at 6:52 pm
Internal-Love PLATINUM, Queens, New York
33 articles 3 photos 311 comments

Favorite Quote:
Nothing's black or white, its all just a shade of gray---

















TI "Live your Life" ft Rihanna

this story is so original!! :) i really like it. I was instantly sucked into another world..........Elsa's world. And you made flying humans and talking teddy bears sound perfectly normal in this book too. You even added a taste of reality in there too; this is just amazing! I look forward to reading more.........though there IS one thing i was curious about:

Does Caro actually talk, or is it Elsa's imagination?


on Jun. 29 2011 at 8:31 am
OfficialApprover PLATINUM, Orefield, Pennsylvania
48 articles 0 photos 1754 comments

Favorite Quote:
Grab life by the balls. -Slobberknocker
We cannot change the cards we're dealt just how we play the hand
Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted
It's pretty easy to be smart when you're parroting smart people
-Randy Pausch

Thanks. :)        

on Jun. 28 2011 at 1:50 am
Writomania PLATINUM, New Delhi, Other
22 articles 0 photos 119 comments

Favorite Quote:
"What really does not kill you, will only make you stronger"- Kanye West
"If there was no electricity, we would've had to watch the television by candle light"- Joe Jonas
Nobody will ever win the Battle of the Sexes. There's just too much fraternizing with the enemy. ~Henry Kissinger

I really like your prologue..

Your story has a very mysterious aura around it.. i think it's BEAUTIFUL..

I'll give more feedback after having read the rest.. keep writing :P


on Jun. 19 2011 at 3:14 pm
OfficialApprover PLATINUM, Orefield, Pennsylvania
48 articles 0 photos 1754 comments

Favorite Quote:
Grab life by the balls. -Slobberknocker
We cannot change the cards we're dealt just how we play the hand
Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted
It's pretty easy to be smart when you're parroting smart people
-Randy Pausch

Thanks for the comment. =)

 

Actually, the prologue does have to do with the main story. :o That is Elsa narrating it, and it's basically foreshadowing the plot.

 

I think I do need to clarify that Caro is a teddy bear sooner, since a number of people have been confused about that. 

 

 

Again, thank you. :D


on Jun. 19 2011 at 2:54 pm
CarrieAnn13 GOLD, Goodsoil, Other
12 articles 10 photos 1648 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." --Douglas Adams

"The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane." --Marcus Aurelius

This is a very interesting story.  The prologue doesn't really have much to do with the main story, but you still have to add chapters, right?

The first sentence of the first chapter just doesn't seem right.  I don't think you have to put that dash between 'normally' and 'quiet' because dashes are used to stand for words like and, to and versus between two words of equal weight. 

Maybe you could have described Caro a bit more because I didn't realize he was a teddy bear until the middle of the second chapter.

This is an interesting novel, I hope you add more chapters to it soon.  Keep writing!





Swoon Reads

Aspiring Writer? Take Our Online Course!