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I’m sorry, but I couldn’t exactly enjoy this.
Me!! (You don’t need two exclamation points, one will do.)
No one actually introduces themselves like that.
Try someone calling on her name. Show, not tell.
Again, too much showing not enough telling.
Most boy bands don’t have mosh pits at there concert.
Started raining really hard? Look in a Thesaurus for better wording. The dialogue isn’t ve... (more »)
I love this story so far! I like the idea & how instead of her being your typical Cinderella, you know, glass slipper and all, she drops her fingerless glove...Which is pretty awesome! (:
Obviously, the story has a few problems, just as every good story has....
The grammar was a bit off at some parts and the sentences can be choppy...& I agree with one of the people down there...Things just happen too fast! But that's okay, that happens to me too!
Someti... (more »)