Broken Beyond Repair | Teen Ink

Broken Beyond Repair

June 12, 2017
By scarredprincess113, GreatCity, New Jersey
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scarredprincess113, GreatCity, New Jersey
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Author's note:

This writing was inspired by real life events. I was heartbroken and devastated when I decided to write this. Bullying got to be too much for me in school. There were nasty rumors going around, and people were just plain mean. Writing this, it gave me hope, that maybe some people will see how far bullying can go, and how much it can destroy a person. 

“Sabrina Lynn, get down here this minute!”

“I’m coming mum, I need time to perfect my face before the very first day of senior year!” Normally I would get scolded, talking to my mother like that. My sarcastic tones were not much appreciated in this household. However, being the most intensely popular girl in my entire grade, and the only 16-year old senior ever to graduate from Brighton Academy, she let it slide.

“If your senior butt doesn’t make it’s way down here, your perfected face will be LATE!”
I pulled on my combat boots and zipped them up. Taking a deep breath, I came down the stairs slowly with my bag hooked over my shoulder, giving mum enough time to take a picture like she’s been doing since Kindergarten. “Okay so, here’s the plan, we can ditch, and I’ll just get a GED and a job, saving college funds and myself from going to this place.”
“Watch it Sabrina, now go, and I better not receive an absent call!” By this point mum was shouting at my back as I strolled out the door. ‘Okay Brin, smile on, confident shoulders, and GO!’ I told myself as I got closer and closer to the wooden double doors I would be seeing every day for the next nine months.
As soon as I got to my locker, I was swooped into a bone-crushing hug by my all time best friend, Aaron. He was my biggest blessing, and the best possible person I could’ve come across. Aaron was 17 turning 18, like all of my classmates, but he was the realest person I have ever met. “Aww Sabs I missed ya so much!”
“Are you kidding A?! How was Greece? Did you even give me a second thought?? Of course not! You were in GREECE!”
“Greece was possibly the best place ever, and next time you are SO coming with me. I may DIE without you.” Aaron was always over dramatic. I guess that’s probably why I love him.
“Aye! There you are my beautiful fire-ball. I was looking for you.” Ben. My prissy football boyfriend. Quarterback of course. Head cheerleader and star quarterback; You gotta stay with the classics. Ben was okayish. Not my prince charming, but he was sweet with me and patient with Aaron.
“Hey there. How was summer break?” Ben looked around distractedly. “You haven’t seen her? The new girl? She’s hot.”
“Em, Benjamin, play nice please. I’m betting that Jay has dibs already, plus you have a perfectly wonderful girlfriend right here.”
“I know Brin, now I’m going to go find coach, see you at lunch?” By the time I had formed an answer, Ben had given me a light kiss and bounded off like a puppy. I guess I sort of stared after him since Aaron mumbled under his breath, “I have no idea what you see in that guy…”
Just then, the bell blared in my ear (I had gotten the unfortunately placed locker three years previous) and I took off to college calc. Along with being the youngest and most popular, I was also the smartest. I had a lot going for me. College scouts are looking my way this year. “Hey Mr Adams! How was the summer?”
“Same every year, Ms Carter, glad to have you in my class again.”
“Glad to be back!” Mr Adams was my favorite and longest lasting teacher. Everything was easy for me in his class, but it was the highest level math offered. I could graduate earlier, but I think part of me wanted the high school experience that came with senior year. Another part of me even wanted to prove my dad wrong.
I took a seat in the back, and waited for Arabella, my other best friend to enter. Ara was a cheer captain with me, not plain dumb, but not super smart either. She had her flame-red hair going for her, along with her position on the cheer squad. Ara came in bouncing around with her bubbly personality. “Oh my gosh Brina, I missed you so so much! What has it been? Two months?” I stood up and gave her a hug. “Aw I missed you too Ara! How is it going with David?” Before the bell rang signaling the start of class, Arabella filled me in on her ongoings with her boyfriend/not boyfriend David. Their relationship was way too complicated for me to keep up with.
My math notebook is usually filled with doodles by the end of the year, with some occasional details that may help in the subject. The 42 minutes of class went by fast, with the usual first day intros. My next period was free, so I went outside and sat down under the shade. I texted Ben to meet me out there and he came up to me with a blonde chick at his side. “Hey Sabs. This is Katrina. She’s new.” He exaggerated the word new, and by the look on his face, I could tell that this was the girl he was talking about earlier. I stuck out my hand from my spot on the ground and she shook it. “I’m Sabrina. Ben’s girlfriend. Nice to meet you.” I introduced myself and told her that she could sit if she wanted to. Katrina declined, saying that she had to find her economics course. Seeing Jay go by, I waved him over and introduced the two. “Jay, do me a favor and bring Katrina to her class. You’re going that way. Mr Vlog’s economics.”
James was the only one who had stayed over summer break, and him and I had become considerably closer. Jay had found me crying in the park on the day it all happened, and I was honestly surprised by him. Jay had always seemed distant with his real emotions, but that day, he let his guard down and we became a lot closer. I guess it’s probably because I don’t ever let anyone see my vulnerable side.
“Well hello to you too Sabs. My summer was great thanks for asking.” He uses his sarcastic tone with me. I don’t take crap like that from anyone, I only dish it out. He knows it too. This time, however, I let it slide. He had a c***y grin on his face and I couldn’t help but smile back. “Get going Jay, Katrina needs ya. We’ll talk at lunch.” Katrina smiles at me as Jay throws an arm around her, attempting to flirt, while walking her to class. Ben takes a seat beside me and says, “You were awfully nice to her… what was that all about?”
“Chill Ben, I’m just trying to change my ways a bit.”
“I know you Sabs, what’s up?”
“Nothing Ben. My dad finally walked out. It was to be expected. I’m fine about it.” I yelled at him. He looked a tiny bit startled, but soon a look of concern crossed his face. That’s what I loved about Ben. He could see through my mask and didn’t hide that he knew how I felt. “His loss Sabs, you’re amazing.”
“Thank you Ben, but it’s whatever. I have you,” I say resting my head on his shoulder, “and I have Aaron and Ara too.”
Ben and I sit in a comfortable silence. Ben is wonderful. Sometimes I feel like I take him for granted. Even though I'm not always nice, he is always there for me, no matter what.
The bell soon rang and I got up for my third period, economics with Mr Da'vede.

--

Da'vede's class went by super fast, and it was surprising, considering the fact that I had stared out of the window all period.
After economics was English, my favorite subject by far. Mrs. Evansa had been teaching me for 2 years previous. I was thrown into her class when I moved here to Brighton during sophomore year. Our first writing assignment of the semester was always the same. We were to write about ourselves, no limitations. She inspired my creativity, Mrs. Evansa. She was a good woman and often spent extra time with me during study hall, pushing me to my limits.
“Sabrina, nice to have you back this year. How are you feeling about the assignment?” I looked up when Mrs. Evansa addressed me, pulling me out of my thoughts. “I’m confident, as always, and I have a few ideas, things to write about. You want to put a max on this?”
“I trust that you’ll use common sense before writing me a twelve page essay, Ms Carter.” I smiled up at her and scanned the room. I had been so deep into thought that I hadn’t noticed anyone else. I spotted Katrina in the back corner and smiled at her, earning a little wave in return. I guess she seemed nice enough, other than the fact that my boyfriend was totally infatuated with her.
Mrs. Evansa had to make the same speech as all of my other teachers, listing her rules, school rules, due dates, etc.. Class was FINALLY dismissed and I headed to my locker, dumping my books in, but not without seeing a tiny pink slip of paper wedged in between my hoodie and my purse.
“RESIGN FROM THE CHEERLEADING SQUAD AND NOBODY WILL GET HURT” was printed onto the small notecard. Honestly, I laughed at it. Ben and his football buddies had always been pranksters. I shoved the card into one of the trashcans on my way to the lawn, where everybody ate lunch. We had a cafeteria, sure, but it had been deemed as a lame place to eat. We would all get our food and find a spot on the lawn.
I found Jay and Kat (Katrina told us that her friends all call her Kat) at one of the picnic tables and felt Ben fall into step by my side. As soon as the note had come, it was gone from my mind. I picked at my sandwich, trying to follow the conversation and not think about Julie and Dad.
Mum had let Julie stay home today, and when I left she had been in bed, crying her eyes out. Even though we still had mum, I treated Julie like my child. Mum had birthed Julie 12 years after me, and she was a very smart little girl. I suppose it was a genetic thing, intelligence.
“...history?” I tuned back into the conversation, finding all of my friends staring at me. I hadn’t even noticed David and Arabella join us. Ben was looking at me with concern written on his features. “I’m back to reality now. Was there a question?” I asked, giggling.
“I said, when do you have history?” Ben repeated slowly. “Ohh. Umm…. next. With Ms Breole.” Mr Jaxton had retired the previous year, and this woman would be my only new teacher. Honestly, I’m surprised they haven’t kicked me out of this place yet. I’ve gone through every course offered more than once. “Oh good, you’re with David, Ben, and I.” said Kat excitedly. Man, this girl had a lot of energy. It wasn’t that she wasn’t nice, it’s that she was TOO nice, which made me slightly suspicious of her.

--

Ms Breole’s class went by relatively quickly, although the woman seemed to know me. I think MAYBE she was a tiny bit threatened by me, having been in this class three times compared to her one day of experience. Before I knew it, I was in the Girls’ Locker Room in my squad uniform waiting for the freshman and new tryout girls.
At the end of each year, captains were chosen to lead next year’s squad. Only the captains were permanently on the team; everyone else had to try out again. Ara looked shocked, but I cannot say that I was when Kat bounded over and gave us both large, bone crushing hugs.
Ara and I called the tryouts to order. On the first day, we would be testing their creativity, skill, and flexibility alone. The cheerleaders were granted half of the football field for practices just as long as we didn’t screw up the boys.
One by one, we ticked off names, and watched the new girls carefully. Practice wasn’t scheduled to end until 4, so we took the extra time to teach them to build a pyramid. Since most of the previous squad had graduated, I placed Ara at the very top and helped with the formation. Ara was tiny, so I wasn’t expecting any trouble at the top. “Sabs! Hey!” I spun around and was caught by Jay’s sweaty chest. He grabbed my shoulders to keep me from falling while I screamed at him. “WHAT THE HECK JAY???!! What on earth were you thinking scaring me in the middle of a pyramid!? Lord knows you don’t EVER scare a cheer girl!” I took deep breaths to keep myself from hitting him.
All of a sudden, his eyes widened as we heard a groan come from one of the girls. I had my back to the cheerers, but the look on Jay’s face had me scared to death. I turned slowly as my entire pyramid of females came crashing down. All of them mumbled a sorry as I yelled at them to get off of the ground and go home unless they were dying. That’s when I saw Ara.

My beautiful best friend was lying on a stretcher in the back of the ambulance, knocked unconscious. I couldn’t hear anything. I felt someone’s hand on my back, guiding me into the waiting room in the Brighton Hospital. I knew I was crying, I could feel the tears. Arabella had to be okay. She had to be. I didn’t know what to do if she wasn’t. Aaron is amazing, and I love him, but I need Ara. She had been there for me through every agonizing moment in life.
Once Jay and Ben came out and reassured me that Ara was going to be fine, my mind stopped racing as fast. I checked my iPhone and saw that I had received 4 missed calls from mum and 2 voicemails. I put the phone to my ear and listened to them.
“Sabrina, honey, I’m starting to worry. Cheer should have ended an hour ago. I told you to let me know when you had plans and weren’t going to be home. Call me baby, soon.”
“Sabrina, you need to answer the phone right now young lady. I received a call from Benjamin saying that you were fine and in the hospital! He hung up before giving details. Sabrina, I am going to call every single hospital in the county if you do not call me back. Julie is scared and so am I.”
After listening to the messages, I leaned into Ben’s shoulder and rang my mother’s number. She picked up on the third ring. “Sabrina Lynn Carter, where the bloody hell have you been?”
“Ara got hurt. We’re in Brighton Hospital. I’m so sorry mum, I didn’t know that Ben had called. I’m fine. Shaken. Ara needs to get better.” I swallowed hard, choking back tears while Ben’s hand went in small circles on my back, attempting comfort. “Oh sweetie,” Mum’s tone softened “I’ll be there soon. Stay strong Sabs, she’ll be alright.” I nodded, not realizing that she couldn’t see me, and hung up the phone, crying into Ben’s shoulder.
--
Soon after Mum got off the phone, she arrived at BH, carrying Julie in her arms. “How is she? Did the doctors say anything?”
“I had Jay call Ally. She’s talking with the doctors now. They wouldn’t say anything to anyone that’s not family.” Mum put Julie on the ground and wrapped me in a hug.



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