Burning | Teen Ink

Burning

November 20, 2014
By Gissel Gonzalez, Glendale, California
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Gissel Gonzalez, Glendale, California
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“Dad!, dad where are you!?”
“Dad, please I’m scared!” I cant see him, but I know he is here . The room was pitch black with absolutely nothing inside. I turn feeling as if  someone was walking behind me, but there is nothing there but blackness. Suddenly I see a shadow coming towards me and knocking me out on the floor.  While Struggle ling to get my breath back , the floor begins cracking and letting fire  through. The room is covered by flames in seconds. On the other side of the flames I see him, and he is seeing me.
”Dad!, help please. What’s going on?” 
“S!, be careful, I don’t have a lot of time, you-” he says.
“What?, I cant hear you, please lets just find a way to get home.”.
The flames are getting stronger and stronger as I try to reach him.
“I’m sorry, I love you, please try to understand, and please be careful, ” he says as he walks away.
“No wait!-Ahhhh!” I scream as I feel a sharp, hot pain on my left hand.
“Serefina!” was the last thing I heard before I felt like passing out.

“Serefina....Serefina come on wake up!”
As I slowly wake up I see my older sister Emma is standing over me. “What’s going on?” I say.
“You tell me, are you planning on missing school today, or are you just rolling out of bed and going straight to school in your Pjs?”, she says.
“Uh?, oh god, I’m late!” I try getting out of bed, but somehow manage to get the bed cover tangled between my feet.
“No your not late, its actually early, its 5:13” she says.
“Ugh, then why did you wake me up? And you better have good reason. “
“You were screaming in your sleep…” she says
“…..that’s a decent enough reason”. I say in a mumble and turn away from her.
“I guess you’ve done it a lot because mom and dad didn’t even flinch to come see why you were screaming.” she says.
‘Yeah, well…”
“Hey are you okay?, you seem sort of-” Emma says
“S!” yells my little sister from the top of the bunk bed.
“Nadya what are you doing up so early?, go back to sleep.” says Emma
“I have to pee, and you and S woke me up.” she says in a sleepy voice.
“Well I cant go back to sleep, so come here I’ll take you to the  bathroom.“ I say to Nadya, I raise my hands to pick her up, but stop when I feel a pain on my left hand.
“What’s wrong?” Emma asks.
“Nothing, I just probably stretched wrong, come here.” And I pick her up into my arms and  carry her to the bathroom.
“Why were you screaming S.?” Nadya asks me while playing with my hair.
“ Well I was having a nightmare, and I got scared.” I tell her.
“What’s a nightmare?” she asks as I put her down.
“They are really ugly dreams that I hope you never have.”
“Me to.” she says and runs inside the bathroom.
I wait for her until she comes out so I can go inside and wash my face.
“ That wasn’t even a minute.” I tell her when she opens the door.
She shrugs and says” It went away.”
“Sure it did, now move “ I tell her and move her aside. I walk to the sink and turn the water, while waiting for warm water to come out I look at my face in the mirror and see my eyes are swollen, a sign that I haven’t been sleeping good. I reach for my hair to make a ponytail and realize my left hand is burned.
“Oh S!, you hav-” Nadya screams from the doorway.
“Shhh..”, I say. Fast  I try to think of a lie so she wont tell anyone about it. “Keep it down, its just… some paint…”
“But didn’t paint anything yesterday” she says accusingly.
“ Well not at home I didn’t…. ,but I’m doing a project at school.”
“What is it?” she asks curiously.
“Its a surprise, wait for me to finish the project so I can surprise mommy and daddy and everyone else.” I tell her, in the most convincing voice I can.
“Is it a pretty surprise?” she asks curiously.
“The prettiest.” I tell her with a smile.
“Okay” she said and ran back to Emma so she could change her for school. When she leaves I close the door behind her and start panicking about the burn. “  How…. it was just a dream…it couldn’t be real”, but even as I said it I knew it cold have been real because it wasn’t the first time something like that had happened. Two months ago I dreamed that I was being chased by something I couldn’t see and that I fell and hurt my right ankle. When I woke up to go to the bathroom, my ankle was as big as my two fists combined. I lied to my parents and said I hurt it during P.E, and after three weeks I finally got out of the cast.

“Okay, you probably burned it with the straightened” , even though it’s a lie, and a bad one I made myself believe it. I try thinking of a way to cover it, but make-up wont help it will just make it look worse.
“Hey Serefina, do you know where I put my scarf, the blue one?, its cold outside and I don’t want to get a cold” Emma screams from the other side of the door.
Of course!, its winter I can wear gloves and not have people question me about it. “Uh no I haven’t seen it ask mom.” I quickly finish  getting ready in the bathroom, and go back to my room to get out of my PJs and into regular clothes. Coming out of my room I see my mom standing outside my door with a cup of hot chocolate in her hand. “ Morning mom, who’s chocolate is that?”
“Whose do you think?’ she says to me while rolling her eyes.
“Thanks mom” I say and giver her a kiss on the cheek, “Mmm, this is why I love you”
“Is that the only reason why?”
“Well yeah, I mean it cant be the fact that you’re the one that gave me life and a roof over my head and food to stuff myself with when I get home.” I tell her mockingly. “But why the whole ‘ let me wait outside my daughters door until she comes out’, why not ‘ let me put it on the table along the rest of her breakfast’ thing?”.
“Cant I just wait outside of my daughters’ room until she comes out and hand her hot chocolate without sounding like a creep?” she says turning away from me.
“Uh no you cant, you just made it sound creepier, what’s going on mom?” knowing my mom, she is probably using the chocolate as a distraction to something else that she doesn’t want me to know. 
“Nothing I just….. I wanted to give you this” she hands me a small white box.
“Huh?…why?”
“Look I know its been kind of hard this last couple of weeks with your dreams coming back, and other stuff that has been happening to you. I just thought that this might make you feel better, it was your dads….” she says.
And for some reason that made me tick.  “Yeah the ’other stuff’, look mom I get you wanting to make me feel better, but this” I say pointing to her and me “isn’t working…., all this family ever does is turn our faces the other away and pretend that whatever is happening isn’t happening” and there it was that blood-boiling feeling that has come out of me for no reason this last couple of weeks. I haven’t been able to control my emotions, the smallest sound annoys me to the point where I want to flip over a table, the things people say sometime makes me want to burn a forest down, and at the most random times I feel like I need to defend myself for no apparent reason, like right now.
“Serefina, that’s enough!, why the sudden anger?” She asks in a voice only a mother can do, which can makes you want to stop whatever you are doing at once.
“I….I’m sorry mom, I didn’t mean to loose my anger, I sh…should go, I’m taking Nadya to school.”
“We are not done talking about this Serefina!” she yells at me.
“No mom I think we are, you know exactly what I’m going through and yet you don’t tell me anything that can help me. I know ,you know more than what you are saying. I just don’t understand why you wouldn’t  want to tell. Mom please ….”I don’t know why im begging I just want her to tell me that all girls feel like this at one point in life.
“You are right…, you should take Nadya to school” she says “but please just take the present” I take the present and put it inside my coat jacket. “Ill go get your sister.” and with that she leaves the room.
While still trying to comprehend what just happened Emma and my step-dad walk in. “Hey what was that all about?”  they both  say at the same time.
“I don’t know…” I say, which is true because I don’t know where any of that anger came from.
“Ill go talk to your mother….. I think this time you are right, she does know more than she is saying.” he says. Which is weird because it’s the first time he sides with me, and doesn’t just say ‘your mother knows best, listen to her’ confused I only mange to get a “Huh?” after he leaves.
“Do you want me to give you a ride?” Emma asks after a few minutes of silence .
“No.., no I think I need to walk off the steam”
“Okay, well I have to go to work…..call me if you don’t feel like going to school, ill help you ditch” she says in a chuckle.
“Yeah thanks, see you at dinner”
“Okay!” she screams back as she closes the front door and leaves. 

When I comeback from getting my backpack Nadya is standing there holding her lunch box, and her princess doll dressed as batman. “Are we leaving yet?” she asks.
I laugh and say “Yes, come on ill hold your lunch box.” I say taking it from her, “Wait where’s your regular backpack?”
“I’m in preschool, mommy says we don’t take backpacks” she says.
“Ohh.. Well okay lets go.” Nadyas school is 2 blocks away from the house, and my bus stop is 2 more blocks from Nadyas school. While walking to school Nadya sings the songs she has been learning and picks up leaves to take home. She comes across a smooth, transparent rock. “Look S, you can see the rainbow!” she squeals. And in a way you could, when facing the sun a specific way you could see the rock reflecting different colors of the rainbow.” Wow N, that’s really pretty” I say.
“Here you have it.” she says and hands it to me.
“Are you sure, you don’t want to keep it? Its really pretty”
“No , I want my bestes sister to have it”. she says.
“Don’t you think Emma might get a little jealous?” I tell her mockingly
“I don’t know what jealous is, but shhh lets keep it a secret” she giggles and makes me pinky promise.
“Okay now go inside, and play carefully okay?” I tell her as I  take off her gloves and put them in her jacket. I give her a quick kiss on her fore head and she goes inside. As I’m walking away I hear her scream “S!” I turn back to see what happened and she says “I forgot to give you a hug and a kiss”. I laugh and she gives me her hug and a kiss.

Walking to the bus stop I start playing with the rock Nadya gave to me, I throw it up in the air and then catch it. When I throw it up in the air again he comes up from behind me and catches it.
“What’s this” he asks.
“Its called a rock “ I say back.
“I don’t mean the rock I mean this” he says pointing to my gloves.
“You are really worrying me here Chuck, these” I say waiving my hands in his face,” Are called gloves.” 
“Stop acting smart and tell me why you are wearing them. ”
“Because I’m cold.” I say.
“S, you suck at lying to me” he says , and before I have time to move my hands away, he grabs both of them with one of his hands and removes my gloves with his other hand. I don’t even bother trying to fight him because I know he is stronger than me.
“What happened, and this doesn’t look like you burned yourself with the straightened, so don’t even bother lying to me” he says thought looking away from the burn.
“I…. I hate it, that I cant lie to you.”
“I don’t, now spill” he says putting my gloves back on.
“I really don’t know what happened…. I woke up and it was like that.”
“…… did you dream about it, like last time?” he asks avoiding my eyes.
“Yeah….I don’t know what’s going on Chuck…. I think I‘m loosing it. ”
“ ….no you’re fine, we will figure this out, we can -” he got caught off  because the school bus came. When we got inside the bus he still wouldn’t drop. It was amazing how stubborn he was, but I guess that’s why we get along because I’m stubborn to.
“Hasn’t your mom, give your left hand, spilled anything?” he asks.
I give him my left hand and say “Nope nothing, she doesn’t even want to hear the subject come up”
He removes my left glove and takes out a small first aid kit from his backpack and starts cleaning my burn, “Well maybe she is just, careful this might sting, waiting for the right time.”
“You think so-, ouch!, ahh what is that?!” he really wasn’t kidding when he said it might sting.
“I’m disinfecting it, something you should have done when you realized you had it, and yeah I mean your mom is strict sometimes, but there are far worst parents out there, trust me.” he says whiel putting a bandead on my hand.
“What are you talking about your parents are good people” I tell him, which was true considering the number of times me and him have gotten in trouble and his parents didn’t even tell my parents.
“Huh?… uh no I don’t mean my parents, I mean other kids parents are far worse, they beat them and stuff.” he says without looking at me, “there all done.” he says putting my glove back on.
“Thanks- wait, since when do you carry a first aid kit?” I ask him, barely realizing that he had one in handy.
“Since the second grade when I realized you were like a new born baby with knives.” he says seriously.
“Not my fault that there’s so many dangerous objects, and second grade was your-” I got caught off when the bus driver started yelling.

“Hey, is there a Sefina here!” he asked in a violent voice. I was about to raise my hand but Chuck got it and whispered no. Something wasn’t right, I could feel, and I wasn’t the only one because Chuck had his plan face, he was trying to think of something without making it to obvious.
“I said is there a Serefina here!” the bus driver violently stopped the bus and most kids smacked into the seat in front of them. Chuck pushed me to get down to hide my face, covering it with my backpack and his backpack. “Ask Chuck, him and Serefina are always together .“said a kid from the front of the bus, pointing back towards chuck.
“Chuck?…, you mean Charles, well of Corse you and the girl are always together, to bad she isn’t here, she would of saved a hell of a clean up” he said with a twisted smile.
“Yeah to bad.” Chuck said in a harsh tone.
“You wouldn’t know where she might be do you?” the bus driver asked again.
“No, she stayed home today.” If I couldn’t lie, Chuck did a hell of a job at it.   
“Like I said to bad…, sorry kids this seems like your last stop” said the bus driver, and with that he drove the bus as fast as it could go off the curve in the freeway. I heard everyone scream and Chuck sucking in his breath before I hit my head and knocked out.

“S!, come on, please!, we have to go, we have to go right now!”, I could hear Chucks voice, but I couldn’t yet reach it. “S, please wake up!”
“My head hurts” I said through a groan.
“Yes, oh thank god S!, come on we have to go” he drags me up to my feet and puts my backpack on. My vision slowly comes to focus when I realize the burning bus in front of us, and all our classmates scattered everywhere.
“S!” Chuck screams as he sees my knees give out, he catches me on time before they hit the ground.
“We.. we have to do something Chuck, we cant just leave them here, maybe there’s still someone left.” I run towards the bus, but Chuck grabs my arm.
“I already checked….. they….nobody…. I tried helping, but it was to late.” his voice was cracking ,but he was trying to sound calm.
“That stupid bus driver!, why would he do this, he had no reason to!” I was so mad I couldn’t stop.
“Where is he?!” I let out a big scream, and as I do the bus catches on fire.
“S!, you have to calm down, you are making this worse!”
“ I’m making this worse?!, I’m not the one who just drove a school bus off the cliff!” I was mad, and the fire kept getting stronger and stronger.
“No, that’s not what I mean S!, control it, its getting out of hand!”
“What do you know about controlling anything!” I scream back at him. The fire was separating us now, I could only see the top of his head.
“I’m not the one you’re mad at!, look what your doing!” he said pointing at everywhere.  And I did look, the fire was touching everything and everybody, except for me.
“Chuck!, I….I don’t know…. what’s going on!” I realize now, the fire was imitating my anger.
“Calm down!- Ahh!.” Something had happened.
“Chuck!.” he wouldn’t answer back.” Chuck!.” if he dies it would be my fault. “okay calm down, calm down” I tell myself, I close my eyes and feel the rock Nadya gave me. I picture her, singing , laughing, and telling me I’m the bestes sister ever. 

And that seems to work because moments later when I open my eyes  the fire dies down and I can see Chuck. He is crisscrossed on the floor staring up at me.
“See, that wasn’t that hard” he says in a grin.
“You idiot I thought I hurt you, that something happened!” I punch him in the arm, but somehow what he did made me laugh.
“Okay we have to go now” he says with a serious look.
“Okay…” I say. As we walk away Chuck tells me to call my mom, which I do, but it might have been better if I didn’t. She was mad, scared, and so many other moods all at once. She stopped talking suddenly and told me to give the phone to Chuck. I did and he takes it,  and he tells me to walk ahead and that he will catch up. About  twenty minutes later he catches up , and we walk in silence some more. I cant help notice the hard look in his face.
“What’s wrong” I ask.
“Your mom said to wear what’s in the white box she gave you” he reaches for my coat jacket and takes out the white box. I un-box it and inside there’s a mans necklace.
“What’s this for, I don’t get it?”
“I really wish your mom would of spilled.” he says looking away.
“What?, why?”
“Because  now she’s making me do it for her.”
“What can you know about my family that I don’t?.” I say accusingly
“Well for starters, this” he says pointing to the necklace “is-was your dads, and it’s a key”
“A key for what?” I ask curiously.
“There is a reason your dad isn’t here anymore, that reason has everything to do with your dreams and with what his key opens. “
“But what does it open?”
“I don’t know, neither does your mom.” he says.
“So why am I the one who has to carry it, and be the one responsible for what happened on the bus.?”
“You aren’t responsible for that S., they would of killed them either way.” he says looking at me straight in the eye.
“But that’s the thing I don’t know what any of this has to do with me, I didn’t even know the bus driver.”
“No you didn’t , but I did. And you have more to do with this than you think, it all traces back to you because of your dad. Lets just say your dad came across a monster a long time ago, and that monster was a murder, a murder who killed just to see how it felt, the monster took thousands of lives and never regretted one. “
“…Chuck … are you okay….?” he was scaring me, and he looked hurt.
“One day the monster thought that by killing something that came from him would make him have fillings. So he chose a woman to have a child with, he waited patiently all nine months for it. He had it all planed out, when the woman gave birth and denied the monster to kill the baby, he killed her. But by that time your dad had already taken the baby to safety. The monster furious with your dad  sought out vengeance, and while searching for him, the monster found out your dad had you. It was the perfect plan, an eye for an eye. But then your dad died, and everyone who knew him helped your mom hide you. But I guess he found us again.” His voice was cracking, and he looked almost broken.
“Chuck….” I say carefully “how do you know so much about this monster?”
“Because S. that bastard of a monster… is my father.”  I’ve never heard him talk with so much anger before, he was always the calm one, the one could control his feelings.
“ So your parents, aren’t your real parents, and that monster is out for us. And you feel in debt to my dad so that’s why you’ve always been taking care of me.” I say, now realizing why his always been there for no apparent reason.
“What?.. in a way, I mean I’m still your best friend, that didn’t change. Are you mad?” he asks confused.
“No , it just makes sense why you’ve always been there I guess.”
“I’ve been there because I care about what happens to you regardless if your dad saved my life.”
“I know” I say with a chuckle. Suddenly my cell phone rings and its my mom. I don’t remember how the conversation went, I just remember feeling the earth sucking me in, and feeling chest burst open.
“S!” Chuck screams at me. “what’s wrong?”
I cant talk, literally no words can come out all I can think about is what my mom said,
He got her, she’s not here, he got her, he killed her.
“S, come on please what’s going on, oh god you’re shivering” he fell to the floor next to me, put his jacket on me and hugged me. “S, please, say something”
“That monster…. N..Nadya” was all I managed to say before I broke down.



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