For A Teen Girl

February 18, 2013
By KimberlyGrubbs BRONZE, Gulfport, Mississippi
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KimberlyGrubbs BRONZE, Gulfport, Mississippi
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Favorite Quote:
"In life God doesn’t give you the people you want, instead He gives you the people you need. To teach you, to hurt you, to love you, and make you exactly the way you should be."


Author's note: As a teenage girl in high school, things that I experienced during my first 2 1/2 years inspired poetry to flow out of me. I hope to inspire other teenage girls to find confidence within themselves to be who God has allowed them to be. Don't be afraid to be who your are. Keep that tiara high.

Ode to a New Year
Truth
Lost Soul
Haunting
You’ve Changed
Try Again
Poison
Revenge
There’s More
Models
Love is
The Un-Ordinary Girl
The First Love
The Hug
Beauty Is In the "I"
Memories
Slow
You Know What
I am ME
Why do you think?
Falling
My Heart
Life
Sometimes I wonder
When I’m With You
Take a risk for me
About Love
Life’s True Identity
Conclusion – Words To Readers

Ode to a new year,
But cheers to the past.
Cheers to the ones who
Made good memories last,
Cheers to the relationships—
The good and the bad.

Ode to a new start,
A new, but old me,
New places to go
And new people to see

New clothes to buy
New friends to make
And cheers to the songs
And songs by Drake

Cheer to the friends
The ones decided to leave
Cheers to the ones
That made us bereave

Cheers to good health
And ode to that too,
Cheers for all the days
God made the sky blue,

So when 2013 comes,
Don't forget about the year that’s been.
That's 3 years past a decade.
That can never come again

So ode to life,
Ode to joy
Ode to everyone
Time is precious
So in 2013, please enjoy!

I guess I’ve been scared to accept that odd image of art
That stares back at me in the mirror,
Scared to embrace all that pain that I’ve bottled up inside,
Ready to explode like a shaken champagne bottle.
Feeling that no matter how hard I try to seem perfect,
My flaws and imperfections will be thrown right back in my head,
Face,
And mind.
Fearing that no matter how much I try to fit in,
I will be slapped with the feeling of being ostracized.
….But then I realized that I’m beautiful just the way I am.
All the weird things I say,
The quirky things I do.
Then I look into the mirror,
Eyes focused on each other,
I gain the courage to embrace my character,
And whisper to the reflection in the glass staring back,
Only to say,
“I Love YOU”
Finally I’ve accepted the Truth.

I feel as if I’m a lost soul,
A soul no one could ever hold.
One who’s heart is always too cold.
Someone warm me up.
Make me lukewarm at least.

I’m always floating with the temperamental.
Always saying stuff that may be judgmental.
Lonely walking desolate streets,
Just trying to avoid being called geek,
And freak.

People always bring me down.
I always act friendly & feel like a clown.
Why must this happen to me?
Can someone take these stupid shackles off of me??

Can someone please free my soul?
Free my soul from a place that’s cold
The place where all the lonesome go.
To and afar, no one knows.

I feel as no one can see me.
I feel as if I have on a cloak of invisibility.
I feel as if no one cares.
If my heart was warm,
I would be able to share.

I walk all alone.
After everyone else is gone home…
I hear a noise – Is it just my mind?
I turn around and it’s YOU walking behind.

You run up to me, and began to speak.
I look at my shoes, down at my feet.
I don’t know why you are so kind.
Everyone else won’t pay me any mind.

We sit on the ground and talk and wait.
I look at my watch; it’s a quarter past 8.
I get up because it’s getting a little too late.
I say bye and smile...
Pick up your skateboard begin to skate
You have my mind in a Euphoria State.

As I walk the lonely soul path,
I can’t stop thinking about the hours that past.
You brought out some color finally.
Someone has finally freed me.

Why must you tease me?
All those memories I tried to erase out of my mind.
All those secrets I’ve kept
My conscience discovering them every time.

Why must you chase me?
Chase me with your words?
Bother me with your actions that I’ve memorized;
A play I’ve seen too many times before.

You’ve just been haunting, haunting, haunting me.

You’re like a ghost.
A strange ghoul drifting through the lobes of my brain…
It’s like my mind can’t contain,
All those memories I’ve tried to pour down the drain.
Leave me alone; you’re driving me insane!

You just been haunting, haunting, haunting me.

Please go away.
I can’t take this for another day.
Another second, another minute.
I’m stuck in a maze,
And memories of you are chasing me within it.
Why are you haunting me?

Boy, without you I feel like a fish without water.
You always feel aggravated with me,
So why should I even bother?

I’m done walking this pathless road.
My heart’s not a toy to play with,
But to hold.

I gave you my all,
You didn’t give me anything in return.
The pain hurts so bad;
It’s beginning to burn.

From now on, it’s going to be me on my own.
Don’t even bother to text and call my phone.
I’m through with you and those conceited days.
We would fuss and fight, always.

Never together like the sun and moon.
YOU started to doubt ME way too soon.
When we were together,
You would never say.
“You are the one that brightens up MY day.”

But I know I don’t anymore.
You hurt me deep to my core.
Until you come to your senses,
You will never find,
Someone who had an endless love for you like mine.

Out with the old,
And in with the new.
I’m done with feeling sad and blue.
You’ve changed.

If you want to be a winner,
You really have to try,
To become successful,
If you fall keep going and don’t cry.

When people begin to doubt you,
Always have you head held high,
Never have the benefit of the doubt,
You should never question yourself why.

When times get hard,
And you do not know what to do,
Just look at where you are,
And the things you went through.

In the end you’ve realized you’ve won,
You made it through what you imagined couldn’t have been done,
Anything is possible only if you believe,
You just have to put your mind to it and achieve.

I don't understand how you could be so vile,
So cruel, so evil
The intensity of my hatred is crawling under my skin like a scarab beetle,
You make me feel so hot with pain,
Like I can stare at you and shoot a bullet through your brain.
You talk about me to all your friends.
You would never be classified as a gentleman.
Forget you, you're so selfish dude.
With your fake style,
With your put on attitude.
I think it is funny how you'll need me some day,
When we're in another city, for a month and a couple of days,
You want me to talk to you, but talking only brings pain.
Your smirk is just cyanide with poison in my veins.

Yeah you see me laughing with a new guy
You get so mad when I walk by.
Yeah I'm single so I can do what I want,
What does it matter to you?
All you ever did to me was taunt.
Yeah I notice you filled with green with envy.
Your pain is back plentiful and I don't care.
Yeah I loved you before but never again.
No I don't want to be friends.
You made me cry and feel worthless,
When I look at you, you make me sick.
I don't care about your feelings,
Same as you did about mine last time.
So next time you see me I'll have the power to avenge.
Sorry sir, this is a thing called revenge.

There’s more to life other than superficial dreams,
There’s more to a criminal than lies and surreptitious schemes,
There’s more to a dancer that has Broadway dreams..
Reality is always more real than it seems

There’s more to a teacher, even she learns
There’s more to a hobo that begs for more than he earns
There’s more to children who fight and never take turns
There’s more to a fireman- a hero with fresh burns...
In life you sometimes don't get what you deserve.

There’s more to summer than just a fling, when you're used as an object not a human being.
You spend time thinking and trying not to cling,
And realize that of less value you mean.

There’s more to nature than just trees,
Beautiful, but God made these things.
You’ll never know an objects beauty until you truly see.
There’s more to everyone...


...including you and me.

Model girls are the most insecure.
From their high heels to their $80 dollar manicures.
Spending thousands to get rid of pain.
Popping corks from expensive bottles of Champagne.
Guys give them credit cards and meaning I love you in vain.
Only to be in debt because of shopping for glory and fame.



Staring in the mirror hating all flaws,
Even the skinniest complain without the simplest cause.
They get paid just to play dress up all day,
No one ever cares to hear what they say.
Once a little girl with Barbie dolls,
Only now to be Barbie in real life demolishing shopping malls.


Caught up in superficial glamour,
Caught up in the fame,
People gawk at their faces, their bodies,
With no excessive shame...
These women are never satisfied.
Due to their conscience and lack of pride.
Due to the lack of high self-esteem.
These are models,
Ones who sell their bodies for makeshift dreams.

Is this love?
Or is this temporary lust?
This physical attraction.
Seeing you is a must.

Something about you,
So cool & nonchalant.
Someone everyone likes.
And always seems to want.

I don't like you,
I don't love you either.
I just think you are cool,
But if you had a girlfriend, I would want to be her.

It's something that's different.
You have this type of vibe.
Something that makes my heart
Beat fast every time.

I haven't told you how I felt,
I don't know that I should.
What is this anyways?
Maybe I've misunderstood.

Love is visible to the blindest eye.
It tends to creep amongst the coldest heart.
Warming it with a feeling of rejoice,
causing the slowest heartbeat to rise.

Love is not liking what you see,
Or getting caught up in superficial glamour.
It is believing what you hear is true,
And finding beauty that penetrates beneath the skin.

Love is trust.
It is knowing promises will be kept.
No matter how hard it is to break them.
No matter how hard it is to hide a lie.

Love is kind and gentle.
Like a mother is holding a newborn child.
As if a person is touching the inside of a rose petal.
Gently grasping it,
And avoiding the thorns of heartbreak.

Love is overrated.
"I love You" is said too much in vain.
Be cautious of how you use those 3 words.
Because if you don't, things won't be the same

Sometimes I don't take reality for what it seems,
Sometimes I try to make my dreams seem more than ordinary means,
Sometimes I try to acquire more than the average teen,
Only to be slept on by those who don't see me, for me.
I try to escape the pain of rejection,
While I gain some gratitude and self-satisfaction.
I deviate from the from the ordinary complexion,
And I pigment myself in an unique shade or color.
All the gray's conform,
They always remain with the norm,
Absolutely loving their duplicated,
Congruent form.
I, a bright goldenrod,
Shine quite brightly,
Like a star in the night sky,
Sometimes as minuscule as a twinkle,
From an eye.
Maybe, sometimes I wish I was the same,
The same as them while trying to maintain,
A similar name,
And play the same game and obtain,
A small ounce of fame.
But I realized being different is what makes me, me.
Because a four leaf clover isn't the same
as one with three,
And a butterfly will never be a moth on a tree.
I am the quintessence of Un-ordinary.
I am the Un-ordinary girl.

Intensity rising in the air; Staring dreamily, into each other's eyes,
That first passionate kiss that left you hanging;
that one that caught me by surprise.
I'm always Thinking about you every day, & night,
The way I feel when you caress me, and hug me tight.
I want to cherish this memory with you eternally forever.
Anxiously waiting for you to call,
so I could pour out my love to you; so I can talk to you.
I'm Crazy about you;
The sweet things you say;
The sweet things you do,
All the wonderful memories we shared together,
The way I smiled in class when you passed me flirtatious letters,
The cute little smiley face, followed by a heart.
The bad stuff started with those stupid fights caused by raging jealously,
You only did that stuff because you loved me.
Those apologetic make up messages, texts, and phone calls that used to fix everything.
Even the small, thoughtful gifts you used to bring...
Those "Sorrys" that made the world & everything else better.
That one terrible fight that went too far.
The aching pain felt as if I was hit by a car.
I couldn't take that stuff anymore,
Our love was starting to feel like a war.
With each tear I shed, a small guard was place around my damaged, fragile heart.
My first love caused me the most damage & pain.
I'm Trying to run away from the pain; trying not to cause a strain;
Trying not to become insane, but try my best to stay sane.
Those harsh words you uttered & reiterated tore straight through my heart.
I guess we're better off not together, but apart.
Babe, Good things don't last forever,
I used to hope this tragic situation would change just like the weather.
Sometimes I sit and day dream about those past memories.
Kind of wishing you were still here with me.

The way our eyes slowly meet, then, diffuse away from each other.
They begin to meet again.
Our bodies swiftly moving together slow as the wind drifting by.
I begin to get nervous as we meet each other half way..,
almost to the point where our bodies are slowly pressed together.
We are almost there, a step away from it.
The way your arms grasp my waist
The sweet musky smell of your cologne
My nose softly pressed against your neck,
my forehead drizzles tiny beads of sweat. ..
As you grasp me softly,
And passionately.
Butterflies intensify in my stomach.
Your body warm as a wave, taking me under.
Pressed together as if we are conjoined.
You whisper, "I love you" in my ear.
I begin to smile.
You squeeze me tighter, closer, softer.
I want to embrace you,
and cherish this moment forever.

Always have confidence & be yourself ,
It's not cool when you copy someone else.

Find your own style, do new things.
Wears shorts in winter, & sweaters in spring.

Beauty comes in different forms,
Even if you're not the norm,

Even if you're not considered pretty enough,
Or if you don't have expensive stuff.

Even if you're insulted daily,
Or if you play ukulele.

Keep confidence & hold your head high,
Everyone's beautiful in god's eyes.

So the next time someone judges you,
Just smile , don't be blue.

Memories of you always seem to cross my mind.
It like my brain always tries to remind me.
Every single memory,
Is bittersweet.
Everything we had is becoming a faint, distant blur,
But the thoughts come throbbing back just like an intense murmur.
It’s weird for me because I thought this feeling would never come back.
It’s like when I hear your name, my heart does a spasm attack.
It’s like I’m being stupid all over again.
I told myself I never wanted to feel this way again.
But it's like the feeling never left away.
It never left away, it was never gone.
Even after so freaking long.
Those memories,
Those good,
Bad,
Happy,
Sad,
Memories are still etched in my mind, in my heart, and in my soul.

Just take it slow, no need to rush.
We’re moving too fast.
Give it time for everything to adjust.
My heart's been damaged too many times before. .
And if it gets torn apart again it probably won't beat anymore.
Constantly crushed, like old tin cans.
Just needing TLC and a friend.
Someone to trust, someone to care.
Someone who has time to share.
Time to spend.
Well our moments together are priceless,
So fun I don't want them to end.
You make me smile,
You make me laugh.
You just make my mind roam and ask.
Ask myself why?
Why are we going so fast?
We just need to cherish the moments,
And make these memories last. . .Slow.

You wanna know what?
Right now I may not look the best to you,
But GOD still accepts me for who I am.
You may not right now...

I may not dress the best but just wait and see; I will.
You may not treat me the best, but
Once you lose me I’m gone forever.
You may treat me like a piece of crap,
Or even a speck of dirt,
Or a grimy rag of some sort,

But you wanna know what?

God has a blessing in store for me in my future, but I don't see you included.
God has me better friends, a better friends, & way better memories –without you.
You may not think that I don't see you flirting with other chicks,
But just realize there are many other guys that will treat me like his one and only.

You may have stepped all over my heart and treated me like crap in the past,
Don’t try to come back because I’ve erased you.
You were such a scum bag,
You thought you always came first.
So arrogant, cocky, and stuck up acting.
Act like a man, not a boy.

You may not like me,
But you will respect me,
Because that's all I have for you.
I may not defend myself,
But I will not let you run over me with your stupid acts of insecurity.
You may not love me,
But God & Jesus do.

You wanna know what?
One day I will come out on top,
And all you will have are those selfish memories,
And your lies,
And your fakeness,
And your drama,
And your memories of those other girls that you "HAD"
And then you will look at me with your mouth open wide in exasperation.

You won't even know who I am.
Don't worry I haven't changed; you did.
I’ll still be the same, but upgraded.
Upgraded to tip top shape,
And you will just stand there with a mind full of remorse,
A head full of mindboggling memories,
And a heart full of tragedy.

I was beautiful in the past,
Not too shabby but am still the same.
You wanna know what?
I've moved on, but you haven't.

I am me,
Strong and powerful
Strong enough to make my own decisions
And not let anyone come in between me and my future.
Beautiful in my own indistinct way,
I am me,
Single and strong,
Building up emotional walls to protect myself from this cold world.
Building them to keep me sane,
Keep me happy.
I am me,
God loving,
Worshipping His holy name,
Respecting His word, and His house,
Coming to him for help,
Asking him for protection from Satan’s trickery,
Loving God & Jesus with all my heart, soul, and mind.
I am me,
Thoughtful and caring.
Interesting enough to make people stop and stare.
Confident, but not cocky or arrogant.
Quiet, but smart enough to observe people's actions.
Smart enough to move on when I have had enough BS.
Lady enough to stay out of drama, and keep my head held high,
Willing to help people who seek help, find it.
Willing to volunteer to help those that cannot help themselves.
I am me,
Original and different.
Crafty and cunning.
Wise enough to watch what I say,
Wise enough to make smart decisions,
Wise enough to have respect for people that don't respect me.
I am me.

Why do you think you can use me ?
Hug Me ?
Kiss Me?

Why do you think I'm so weak?
Unstable?
Heartbroken?
Naive?

Why do you think you can play me?
Betray me ?
Leave me for a while?
Try to love another girl?
And never decide to call me back ?
Then have the nerve to TRY to come back?

Why do you think you can come back so easily?
You hurt me ,
Destroyed my fragile,
Reconstructed heart.
My heart is no longer yours .
I decided to give it to the LORD.

Why do you hurt the ones who loved you the most?
Why do you push them,
Make them fall ,
Onto a jagged
Mountain of unrequited love ,
Hurt,
Pain,
A sudden , but tragic misery.

Why are you so arrogant?
Mischievous?
Sneaky?
Trifling?
Cowardly?
Backstabbing?
Hypocritical?
Selfish?
Inconsiderate?

Maybe you should begin to search for the man in the mirror.
I'm through trying,
Crying,
Sitting at home asking myself why and ,
Why did I love you?
Why did I let you hurt me ?
Deceive me ?
And then Leave ME?

Left me ....
Alone,
Hurt,
Deceived,
A little unstable?

Don't try to come back into my life , just because
I begin to change,
Find my inner beauty,
And RE-begin to find my sanity again.
Stay with your EXES.
The bittersweet PAST means way more to you than a BEAUTIFUL future.
I'm not jealous, I’m disappointed.
But then again ,
I sit and ask myself........
WHY did I choose YOU?

I'm falling too fast ,
like a person leaping off a cliff
With the cold wind swishing swiftly
Taking my breath rapidly as I fall into
A deep dark subliminal abyss.
Hitting hard rocks as I tumble and toss,
My face hitting chilly, soft moss.
I'm Crying and yelling
Trying to get some help,
Trying to find someone with a loud yelp.
Hoping that you would come so I can realize,
So I can see you one more time with my
dark brown eyes.
But you don't care ,
You let me fall,
With no intention to catch me at all.
My spirit is drifting away with all my love.
I'm giving you something I've been deprived of .
Hoping you would love me back , but its untrue.
Tears rolling into a lake of dark blue,
Dark blue sadness ,
I'm having first love madness,
I just want you,
Want you to love me,
Love me for who I am,
But you won't .
But then again I realize
I fell for you too fast,
& too much time has passed,
Too much love has been given away.
But I realize that I can't make these feeling for you go away.
Maybe I should?
Maybe I would

My heart is too big to be
Smashed into pieces,
Too warm to be burned
With your cold winded love,
Too kind to be mistreated
By your selfish , hateful ways.
My heart is just too soft and weak .
Probably because in the past
Hate is the only thing it could seek.
Guys crushed my dear old heart .
They never cared about its condition.
They never cared to start.
My little antisocial heart never ,
Wanted to look for love.
Only searching for love ,
From the Heavenly Father above.
My heart cries & yearns
For someone's good loving .
My heart seems to beat slowly ,
Dying from all of the hatred ,
Dying from all of the pain,
Sending a distress signal to someone.
..... Someone , Someone to save it .
..... Someone please come and
Resuscitate it .
Help me , Help IT .
My lonely old heart ,
Sits in the empty cavity of my chest.
Cold , slowly beating beneath my breast.
If only it could find some love ,
Find your love,
Find your heart.
But I know that’s impossible.

In life you have to ..
Take the worst with the best ,
Keep striving to get over those tribulations and tests .
Find some courage ,
Grow some hair on your chest ,
And never decide to settle for less.
In life you have to..
Smile for a while
Happy and graceful
Like a mother
And a new born child .
Don't let small things ruin your brightest days,
Blood is thicker than water ,
Fight off quarrels with God's heavenly rays,
You should never let small things tear you apart ,
Find someone in life that loves you and cares ,
One who has some spare time to share ,
The one who loves you with his or her heart .
The one who needed you as much
As you wanted them from the start.

Sometimes I think about you more than myself.
Does that mean I want you more than anything else?
Or does that mean I want you in my life ?
Maybe a future, that’s bright and nice.

Sometimes I want to tell you how I truly feel.
I want you to know the "Real Deal”.
Do you even feel the same way?
Do I brighten up your darkest days?
Sometimes I talk to my mom about you .
I tell her about the sweet , subtle things you do .
You always cheer me up when I’m down .
You make my frown turn around.

Sometimes I wonder if this is a dream.
Is this a mirage , or a game - that’s what it seems .
But that time you kissed me changed my mind.
I was going to leave you alone, but we began to bind.

Sometimes I feel like I’m beginning to rush.
I feel like I’m trying , but it’s not enough.
I just want to invigorate your heart.
That’s where I wanted to be right from the start

Sometimes I wonder if we’re only going to be friends.
I wonder if that’s how it’s going to end.
I wish for more between you and me .
I just want you to see the real me.

Sometimes I feel like you don’t care.
Tell me your feelings, I really want you to share.
Just be honest; I know the truth will probably hurt.
I just think it’s what I deserve.

Sometimes I think you think it’s just a game.
I want you to be on the same page.
My love for you is so amazing .
Burning like a candle that’s always blazing.

Sometimes I wonder if I ever cross your mind.
Do I make your heart skip a beat sometimes?
When I see you butterflies began to flutter.
You make me melt on the inside like butter.
Sometimes I wonder if I’m doing too much.
Should I smile , hold your hand? If we ever touch?
Kiss you? Or even go on a date?
We’re just friends and that’s not up for debate.
Sometimes I wonder if I’m pushing you away.
Should I try to talk to you every day?
Or should I give you space and leave you alone?
Not willing to bother you by calling your phone.

Sometimes I wonder if I’m aggravating you.
I hope I’m not bothering you too.
I hope it’s not time for me to move on.
I hope what we had is not gone.

Sometimes I wonder if I’m “Just another Girl”
Someone who doesn’t mean a thing to the world.
I want to be your “Special One”
When we’re together it’s always fun.

Sometimes I wonder are you just using me.
Are you just trying to make me look like a dummy?
I think I’m just making myself look like a fool.
The things that happened during school…

Sometimes you make me want to cry.
I give you my all , but you don’t reply.
Maybe it wasn’t meant for us to be.
Hopefully the future will show me everything.

Sometimes I pray and ask GOD to show me signs.
Signs that will make me change my mind.
I hope that you don’t do anything foolish to break my heart.
It will feel like you ran me over with a go cart.
Only the future will hold what’s in store.
Best friends? Or Maybe even more?
Maybe enemies? Or always just friends?
Or lovers? IDK it all depends.

I’m beginning to let my guard down.
I don’t want to end up sad with a frown.
Tell me what’s on your mind.
So we can finally take this one step at a time.
Sometimes , maybe even all the time .. You always cross my mind.

When I’m with you ,
I feel free ,
I'm no longer a caged bird ,
Or a prisoner with shackles .
Every time I see you ,
My heart feels happy ,
It starts to bounce rapidly around my chest ,
And the butterflies in my stomach start to dance.
I never doubt that when we're together,
We will share a bad memory,
You bring out the best in me .
That's great, because I won't settle for anything less
It's really weird,
Because we're just friends now.
Could it end up being more than that?
That's just for both of us to find out .
I don't want to rush anything .
I don't want to ruin our friendship .
I don't want these feelings to go away .
These great feelings,
Emotions,
Ideas,
And thoughts of us being together.
You captivate my mind .
You captured my heart,
Sweet thoughts mingle through my mind .
My spirit is beginning to feel free .
And all this happens...
When I’m with you.

Don't be scared to fall in love,
Feel it ,
Dream it ,
Open your heart,
& don't be scared to fall.
Baby just risk it all for me .
Open your eyes wide open ,
See me for who I am ,
Accept me ,
Trust me ,
Respect me ,
Because I will not change for anyone .
If you want me ,
Show me ,
Caress me ,
Hold me ,
Make me yours .
Once I’m yours , take a risk for me .
Just take it , take it away .
Feel free to do anything for me.
Jump in front of a bullet for me ,
Or a car ,
Or a bus .
Hold my hand ,
Guide my way ,
Don't obstruct my path,
Lead me along this dark road .
Are you willing to take a risk for me?

You got me thinking,
You got me wondering,
Contemplating,
About you,
All day, night, and morning.
I sit and emphasize,
Sit and realize,
Sit and question
How deep my love is for you.
It's weird,
It's crazy,
You never cease to amaze me.
My heart's hungry for your love.
Constantly devouring, the kind words you speak.
Tell me what is necessary,
Not what I want to hear.
Relationships are based on true feelings,
Emotions,
Deep down inside, your heart,
And inside your head.
Butterflies in my stomach,
You on my mind,
An enormous smile on my face,
When I begin to contemplate about you.
Sometimes I don't know if this feeling is wrong,
Or right,
What path should I take?
When I’m around you,
I constantly wonder why,'
You won't come up to me and ask,
Why are you so shy?
Why are you so quiet?
Why are you antisocial?
It's weird to tell you to your face,
The things that come to my mind when I see you.
I begin to say this feeling isn't true,
But it is,
Over and over again.
I can't escape you, like a bad memory,
But you bring me sweet joy,
And great memories,
So I wonder why I can't seem to get you,'
Off my mind.
I have to give you space,
Time to breathe,
To see,
Things for yourself.
Unconditional love,
Endless like the ocean,
It seems like a potion,
That I happened to consume.
I digress,
You pass every test,
Trial,
Tribulation,
Ever situation together is different.
You're different,
You're charismatic,
I feel for you,
I need you,
I want to,
Breathe the bittersweet air of your love.

UPS me your love,
Or you can send it in a message.
Wherever I go,
You always seem to request it.
You always were faithful,
But people always seemed to detest it.
When we got up,
You would never be messed with.
Flow so strategically,
Go play chess with it.
My heart's on my sleeve,
Sewed on like a patch.
Gold fish type love,
You always were my match.
Stuff tried to break us,
But we were always intact.
You could lighten up a room even if was packed.
Your love is just a mystery,
But we would always find some chemistry.
I and you have history,
Like social studies class.
Whenever I & you were together,
We always seemed to pass.
My heart's yours forever,
Like we’re conjoined twins.
Baby you’re my lottery ticket,
I always seem to win. . You.
Love's on the menu,
Baby it can be your next venue.
Or let me say action,
You were always my main attraction.
Our magnets seem to attract,
But our opposites never do.
Love pastes us together,
We always had some glue.
Our love was like a Polaroid,
It always was instant.
Opposition always rose,
People were always against it.
This story just begun,
But I never wanted to end it.
Finally I just have to say that this will never quit. :)

Same path different shoes.
Life’s a kaleidoscope to some of us,
We all don't have the same view.
Love is just some myth,
and people just want to find some proof.
Just keep it real with me I just need the truth. . .
Or maybe I just need some closure,
Maybe I just need some space,
You should always try to play the game until game over,
Even when you get trapped in a maze.
Maybe I’m just in a daze,
Maybe I just need to get away.
Maybe I just need to go to some chill island and vacate.
Run away and never come back.
Wishing that people will give my reputation some slack.
Wishing I can take all that stuff back . . .
But I know I can’t.
The past is the past and all those memories can't be relived,
but reminisced.
Even those cold nights that weren't even considered bliss.
The ones that you should have stayed inside and missed. .
You should just stayed at home on the phone,
But you felt like you weren't good enough when you were alone.
You didn't have the attention you wanted.
You couldn't shine.
You couldn't get the chance to tell your friends what really was on your mind.
You just wanted to be the star of the show,
But in reality that's not how life goes.
You can put on a front,
And even try to find happiness with riches and wealth. .
But even though you're trying to make it on top,
You’re just loosing yourself...

Conclusion


Sometimes I sit and ask myself what is life. I wonder why it is so short. Why is it so hard? Why it so fairly unfair? Then I ask myself why do people take life for granted? Why do people continuously do things like a bible doesn't exist? Then I ask myself why did I make so many sophomoric mistakes when I was younger? I ask myself how I could not know what I was getting myself into. And then I realized as you age, you gain wisdom. You gain knowledge. You gain power. You rid yourself of people who hurt you and those old "best friends" who befriend you and have a tendency to disappear out of your life quicker than your child hood. Those best friends who promised to keep in touch, but fail to ever reach out to you in your worst times & heartaches. You rid yourself of all the old mistakes and gain lessons and morals. You gain a strong relationship with God and ask him for guidance with every step & decision you make. You take time to get yourself together emotionally & physical to improve your mental stability and physical endurance.
As a kid I used to wonder why people were so cruel and mean to me. I was a nice kid and I had no clue why I had so many enemies. They used to call me geek and nerd and I used to be ashamed. I didn't like that title. I wanted to fit it. I was ashamed of being smarter than what I should. Today I realize that the title nerd and geek are the greatest names that a person could label you as. I wouldn't trade it for the world. I like being knowledgeable because knowledge = power. And without power and clairvoyance, you won't make it anywhere in life. You won't be able to make decisions, stand up for yourself, obtain a job, and do many other essential tasks.
When I was in middle school I used to hate getting called chubby and stuff like that... Kids were harsh and mean. I didn't want to have friends or anything like that. Then I got into band and art. I loved it and those classes made me feel as if I was of some importance. I loved practicing and sketching things everywhere.... On my desk to any scratch sheet of paper I had. I loved practicing for hours. I felt great because I could play music so easily... Then people started calling me band geek and other things... I didn't like it...
In my first year of high school, I learned that you have to put forth a lot of effort to make and keep good grades. I learned that you have to surround yourself with people who love and care about you. You have to be CONFIDENT no matter how people judge and gawk. No matter how rude people are. My first year of high school band I was nervous and I hated coming into the band hall because I felt... ostracized. I was terrified of the older kids and I never knew how to approach them... Then band camp came. I was excited. It was hard learning how to march but then I caught on. Band camp was fun... I finally felt as if I belonged.
This year is my junior year. I've gained wisdom, stability, guidance, confidence, and many other vital factors... I'm not scared of holding conversation anymore. I'm not scared of being myself because I know I have friends who love me for who I am. I'm not scared to be the nerd, or the band geek, or the chubby kid that I once was and I still am today. What is life? I think I've started to figure out what it is. I still may be in chapter 17 of my life but I've gained so much knowledge and wisdom to get me into the other chapters. My book of life is still at the beginning, but my reality is far from it.



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