I think that your plot seems very interesting (as I have just finished the first chapter), but it would be nice to have more description take place between actions. Instead of telling us that Love "did know why she was at the party" or "she went to the roof", it would be nice to see some description of her walking and the setting around the place. Other than that, I would say that the story seems a little bit jumpy and rushed in the writing. But I think that plot could be very cool.

Hey, EJ! It was a good story. Um, to give constructive criticism, I thought the beginning was a little unrealistic. Why would Love be so quick to act? I mean, if you saw a seventeen year old from another planet land on your roof, what would you do? I also thought it wasn't realistic because Josh let him in so easily. I didn't get the impression that he was the kind of guy who let his girlfriend take home an alien boy. And why did Josh have super powers but Love didn't? How did he get superpowers in the first place? I liked how you made them communicate through video games though! I was kinda disappointed when he turned into a supervillain. I like it when they start out as supervillains but later they turn into the good guys. Well, good job EJ. :)

I will give this novel the same suggestion I gave your other novel. However, there's another angle this novel needs work on, and that would be scene description. After reading through some of the chapters, I only found that the characters' thoughts were well conveyed. The scenes themselves were a bit sketchy, with only vague descriptions, and not much interaction.   I'd also comment on the content, but I'm getting a bit tired now. So I'll just say, good luck on your writing.

You should:3I would read it!!!

Thanks! I was thinking about continuing the story from Typhoon's point of view. Sorry about the ending, but villains only rise from tragedy, so there had to be one.

this story was so cute and quirky with awesome fight scenes! then the ending was sad:(great story though!!!