Mental Madness | Teen Ink

Mental Madness

July 10, 2012
By causexaxscenex, Rockaway Beach, Missouri
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causexaxscenex, Rockaway Beach, Missouri
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Favorite Quote:
“The true genius shudders at incompleteness - and usually prefers silence to saying something which is not everything it should be.”

“Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing, doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before.”


My life down the drain, my world turned upside down. 11 days, 15 hours, 38 minutes, 8 seconds. That’s how long I’ve been here. I don’t know how it happened, well actually I do. It all started when I turned 16, which of course I’m 16 ½ right now. Weird things started happening, I can go into people’s minds, into their dreams. The strange part was I could fix what was wrong with them.
But even before I turned 16, things happened. Like I could move things with my mind, levitate, set fires, turn invisible, and I had Clairvoyance. Having Clairvoyance helped me a lot through school. But let’s not go too deep into my past.
I’ll start us off a few days before I got sent here. I will not disclose where here is as of now, but you will know soon enough. Two days before my parents decided or even considered sending me here, I stayed out with my boyfriend Nick until 6 a.m. I spent the night at his house because I didn’t want to go home. Nick knew a little about my powers but he didn’t care. I always thought that he was pure perfection; he was the most important thing in my life. But I’m getting off subject.
I had Nick drop me off outside my house. He wanted to come inside and explain to my parents that it wasn’t my fault I stayed out late, but I didn’t want a major explosion to go down. So we said our goodbyes and I went inside. My parents had waited up for me. They looked extremely ticked off. It was only a few seconds before the fireworks. As I walked through the door my dad glared me down and my mom couldn’t even look at me.
“Where have you been?” my dad said
“I was with Nick.” I said knowing my dad already knew the answer
“Yeah, I know you were “with” Nick! What were you doing with Nick, and why did you stay out so long?” he was getting angrier and angrier by the minute
“We went to Samantha’s party and then we went back to his house and watched scary movies. I guess we just fell asleep. It can happen to anybody.” I said trying the best I could to defend myself
“You should have come straight home after the party, or at least called. You are grounded!”
“What? I promised Nikki I would go to her recital on Thursday!” I said. How could he do this to me Nikki had been planning this for weeks
“Well that’s just too bad. Other than school you’ll be spending the next 2 months here. And don’t even think about sneaking out, turning invisible or anything.”

My parents knew about my powers but never let anyone else know about them. They thought I was a freak even though they wouldn’t admit it. The fact that my favorite color was black and I wore skinny jean and converse, and listened to different music probably added to it. They were disappointed in me, but it wasn’t my fault I was born with these abilities. And I still don’t know whether the powers are a blessing or a curse.
‘Ok everyone, now that we have that out of the way. Let’s eat breakfast.” Said my mom She always let dad do all of the disciplining. She was such a wuss.
“I’m not hungry.” I said feeling my head pound
“Yes; you are!” my dad said knowing that was going to be the final word.

I sat down at the table as my mom served us our plates. I was getting a huge migraine and my dad wasn’t making it any better. He was starting to criticize my music choices, and was saying I should stop hanging out with Nick, and my friends because they were different. My headache was getting worse and worse every time he talked and before I knew it my telekinesis kicked in.
There was absolutely nothing I could do at this point. The knife off to my right flew through the air and stabbed my dad in the shoulder. He screamed and I knew I was in deep. He began cursing me as my mom called an ambulance. He sent me to my room, even though I was already headed there.
I ran into my room and slammed the door. I screamed in my pillow and began to search for my razor. I realized that they must have taken all the razors out of the house after they talked to my therapist, and I thought therapy was supposed to be confidential. My head pounded harder and harder. I slid down my bedroom wall to the floor, feeling cold I thought of heat, I thought of fire! That’s when the Pyrokenesis kicked in.
First I smelled it, then I could feel it; not that it was by me. But that it happened and I knew it. I sat the house on fire. No matches, no lighter, no torch, no starter fluid; just me, myself, and my mind. I knew the fire spread through the roof like a plague, but I sat there. I didn’t care. A piece of the ceiling fell down beside me. It didn’t have time to take down much of the house, just a section of the roof, before the firefighters got there.
My parental units told them that it must have been faulty wiring, and they believed it. I wonder if it was possible for someone with Pyrokenesis to get put in jail for arson. I guess I’ll never know. My parents would probably have disowned me if not for our family therapist, not that we ever went, who suggested that they send me here. I guess I still can’t say it. They never asked me if I wanted to go. They didn’t care about my opinion. Even though I might have said yes to going; because I didn’t want to spend 2 months at home, besides going to school.
I packed my bag, and got in dads Nisan. We began the long drive. Where I was going you couldn’t have cell phones, IPods, laptops, books, magazines; all of which I owned. We were half of the way there when it started to pour down rain; I guess it fit the situation. We pulled to the great steel gates, and began to go down long drive where the Aspen and Oak trees hung over the driveway. There was a large sign by the entrance. We went through twists and turns until we got to a large building; white as it was with marble columns out front.
So here I am. Some may call it the nuthouse, some may call it the loony bin, but it’s all the same to me it is a Mental Institution. I am Kelsey Harris and I am a patient at Sunset Grove Institute. You never think it’s going to happen to you, until it does. I mean everyone makes cracks about the loony bin, but you never know what it’s like until you are in that situation. I never for one minute thought that I would be here in a million years. But here I am.
We parked close to the front door under the overhang. A young man came out of the building. He looked at my parents weary faces and then looked at me. He couldn’t have been more than 33; he had dirty blonde hair and hazel eyes. He wore blue scrubs like the kind they wear in the hospital. He carried a clipboard. He had some stubble and you could tell that he has had little sleep. He had a soft deep voice when he spoke.
“Kelsey LeAnn Harris?” he said looking me and my parents over once again
“Yes.” I said as my parents rolled down the window
“Well it’s nice to meet you Kelsey, Mr. and Mrs. Harris you don’t have to worry about a thing. Your daughter is in good hands.” He said trying to keep a positive attitude
“Well that is what we are paying you for.” Dad said as the young man helped me with my bags
“Would you like to come and see Kelsey’s room and make sure everything is in order?” the young man said
“No… we have a meeting to get to.” Dad said as he rolled back up the window and began to drive away

I knew they wouldn’t stay long. The talk about them having to be at a meeting is BS. The young man introduced himself as Richard, and said that it must have been a very important meeting for them to leave in such a hurry. I just nodded. I didn’t want to explode right in front of the place about how much my parents didn’t really care about me. They would have put me in the rubber room right away.

Richard led me into the building, it was like an over flow of white with a hint of depressing blue. We walked through what I guess is considered the lobby, and into the hallways, we passed many rooms. There was one point where a teen was standing there talking to the wall and a woman with white hair had to help him to his room. Richard opened a door and told me this was going to be me room.

I unpacked my few things into the small dresser and looked at my pale, colorless reflection in the mirror. My blonde and brown streaked hair lying carelessly on my shoulders; my eye makeup smeared from the rain. The woman with white hair brought me a dark purple shirt and gray sweats. She told me that as long as I was here that was what I would be wearing.

I put them on and looked at the pale blue and white paint on the wall. There was no color in this place, no life, no expression, no individuality. I’m going to go insane…Huh… that is unless I already am. I always wondered if someone went to a mental home if they got crazier than they were before. I guess now I’ll find out.

I sat down on my dully colored bed… yep as I figured hard as a rock. Guess you can’t have any kind of comfort. Ceiling is as dull as the floor as dull as the wallpaper as dull as the rain. I walk over to the window; the rain is peppering down on the windows. It’s giving me a depressed feeling; I wonder if it continues to rain even if you can’t see. But I believe it will forever rain over a place like this.

I wonder if they know of my abilities, I wish I could just disappear and walk right out the front door but it’s probably locked to keep the sane out and the Looney in. Maybe they have a no vanishing policy. I know if I did anything (ability wise) my parents would disown me in a heartbeat. And honestly I don’t want to have to live with people I don’t know. Even if they like me more than my real parents.

I lie back on the bed and try to go to sleep. I close my eyes tightly together and pinch myself; hoping that I’ll wake up in Nicks arms and realize that this was just a horrible dream. I wait a few seconds and then I open my eyes. Nothing, I’m still in the same degrading room. I hear a knock on the door. It slowly opens to who I wish was Andy Sixx but unfortunately it was the white haired woman Margret.
“It is time for Lunch, Ms. Harris. I have a lot to do so I think you can manage to get to the lunch room by yourself…can’t you?” she said as kind of a statement rather than a question.
“Ya… I think so.” I said even though they really didn’t give me a tour of the place
“Alright then you know where it is right…” she looked at my blank expression “… you go down the hall take a left walk down the next hall; take another left then it’s the 4th door on your right.”
“Thanks” I said as I made my way to the door
“And don’t even think about going anywhere. Our patients rarely get time to walk on their own so cherish the time you get Ms. Harris.” She said in a very low tone that meant that she meant business
“I won’t…. I mean I won’t go anywhere.”
“Good.”

She left and went down the hall (to the right that is). I go out the door and take a left just like she said. Honestly I wouldn’t want to find out what the consequences would be for going anywhere. I don’t want to suffer my parent’s fury either. I take another left then I hear something in the room next to me. The door is partially open, I push it open to find the guy that was talking to the wall earlier was in there but this time he was painting the wall with something red… Ketchup; he’s mumbling something under his breath I can’t tell what it is though. When I walk in he stops and stare at me and says..
“What are you doing here…You should be at lunch.”
“Well I could say the same about you” I say
“I’m busy… and you should be going to lunch now.”
“Why are you painting the wall with ketchup?”
“Cause it’s red…”
“Ok then I’m going to be going to lunch now. I’ll get you some ketchup too.”
“Could you maybe get me 2 if you can.”
“Sure!”

I go out of his room and continue down the hall. I find the lunch room it wasn’t hard to find all I had to do was follow the loud screaming voices. I walk in and everyone stops and stares at me for about 10 seconds then continues eating. I walk to the end of line to get my food…yep as I expected dull gray food. There is a hamburger (clearly under cooked), tater tots (soggy), milk (sour), and a hard as a rock cookie. I ask for an extra ketchup packet; then I get interrogated. They ask to see my arms (for cuts I expect... good thing the scars faded), they ask me all these questions and then finally I get to sit down.

When I sit down I put the ketchup packets in my bra… weird I know but there isn’t any pockets in my sweats. I begin to eat my food, wait let me rephrase when I begin to gag my food down, suddenly a girl in just her bra and boxers…? Comes running into the lunch room; followed by a mob of angry orderlies. Most of the guys stood up and started whooping and yelling. In a way it was hard not to laugh.

Lunch ends early and I walk back to my room… all patients but me are accompanied. I stop at that one’s kid’s room and find him sitting in the corner of his room with his eyes closed. I walk over to him.
“Hey..” I say very calmly
“Oh hey.”
“Here’s your ketchup… and I don’t think that we had a proper introduction… I’m Kelsey.”
“Thanks. I’m Magnus.”
“I like your name.”
“I like yours too Kelsey. Now you better leave before the orderlies catch you.”
“All right guess I’ll see you later.”
“Bye you better hurry… after lunch is medication time and that’s when the orderlies patrol the halls.”

I walk out the door and immediately see an orderly coming so I go invisible. I run down the hall almost hitting an orderly on the way then I skid to a halt outside my room and run in. Then I change back. I go over and sit on the bed. Invisibility really takes a lot out of ya. The rest of the day goes by fast… they brought me my meds then they brought me my dinner. I guess after lunch they decided to do something different.

I lie back on the bed and pull the covers on me. And by the miracle of god I fall asleep. I dreamt about Nick… me and him going places, not having to be stuck behind these confining walls. When I wake up my happiness is drained by the restrictedness of my room and its surroundings. I feel more drained than the day before. Places like this just suck the life right out of ya. I walk over to the window it’s still raining slightly but that’s not what I’m looking at. There was a note on the window.
Hey kelslie, hopefullie u gets this befor an olderly does so. I kno u dont kno me vary well but yesturday I feelt we had some cind of conectiun. No has ever talked to me the way you did. Everyone trets me like ima babie. But im knot. I want u to meat me by the broom closut downstars by the lunch room tonite. Becuse they are lokin the place down for awhile today so we wount be able to see each other so c u than. Thanks for the catsup. No ones suposed to smuggle me catsup. Ha-ha
Magnus
P.s I kno I most likely spelled your name wrong so don’t be mad
P.P.s maerty and mr. crakurs like you too.
P.P.P.s sury for the spealing erurs


Man he has horrible spelling, I’m gonna have to teach him how to spell. Who’s Marty and Mr. Crackers? I wonder if they’re other fellow patients here. How am I gonna get to the broom closet? It’s not like I can go ask an orderly. I wonder why they are shutting the place down. I hear someone in the hallway, so I go to the door and use meh clairvoyance. They said something about a dangerous criminally insane patient escaping from the rubber room, and they needed to find him before he hurt anyone.

Well to pass the time I guess I’ll play I Spy. OK here goes. I spy with my little eye something that’s purple…hmmm my shirt which happens to be hideous, too bad I don’t have my HIM shirt. I spy with my little eye something that’s white and blue….the ceiling and the floor and the wall. I spy a cat… oh there it is, too bad it’s a painting otherwise I could roll it up and strangle myself with it. I spy with my little eye something that gives me a glimmer of hope… this note from Magnus. I spy with my little eye something yellow…oh this ugly crayon, I HATE yellow.

Okay this is getting really boring. So the rest of the day goes by pretty fast, they gave me my food and my meds. I grinded “I HATE YELLOW” on the wall and now they decided I can’t have crayons, it’s not like I’m gonna be a mass crayon murderer. Now it’s 7:45 p.m. lights out, time for bed even though it’s pretty early for me. Man I wish I could go to a concert right now. Hmm… anyway time to go see Magnus.

I decided the only way I’m going to get out of my room unnoticed is by turning invisible. I walk to the door, open it and look both ways and turn invisible. I close my door quietly and proceed down the hall I pass Magnus’s room and then I pass the lunchroom. The broom closet wasn’t actually that hard to find since there was a sign that said
Do not enter.
Orderlies only.
BROOM CLOSET.
I phase back into normality and then quickly duck into the closet.
“Glad you decided to join us!” Magnus said with a smile
“Ya, me too. Glad I got here in one piece.”
“Yup, that would have sucked if you came split in 2.”
“Naw… it wouldn’t that bad then there would be 2 of me here to keep you company.” I said
“Ya…but then I couldn’t do this…” Magnus said as he kissed me “… without feeling like a total creepo.” He finished. O’ WOW! That was incredible.
“So who’s Marty and Mr. Crackers?” I say
“O’ yes I forgot to make introductions… Kelsey this is Marty and this is Mr. Crackers!” He said pointing to either side of him (to the blank spaces of air)
“Hmmmm…well nice to meet you two.” I said trying not to be rude. There was a piece of hair in front of his eye so I moved it and then it went black. When I woke up there was not one but 3 faces looking at me. There was Magnus and then…..there was one that looked like a mad cat with an eye patch, and the other one looked like a frill lizard with red and black swirly eyes and 3 red buttons down its front.
“Is she alright?” said the lizard
“I don’t know she is kind of pale!” said the cat
“She was already pale, Marty. Kelsey are you alright?” Magnus said
“Ya I just….ohh…I don’t know.” I said sitting up, trying to perceive what the heck was going on!
“Well I don’t see what the fuss is over, she just fainted that’s all.” Said whom I think I Mr. Crackers
“She’s a very good friend Mr. Crackers no need to be rude.” Magnus said smiling
“Mhmm, right very good.” Mr. Crackers said while sitting down next to the wall

“So what do you want to talk about?” I asked him
“Well Kelsey, I’ve been meaning to ask you why you get sent here I mean you seem pretty normal to me.” Magnus said
“HUH….normal, please.” Mr. Crackers said
“Well I “accidentally” stabbed my dad in the shoulder and set the house on fire. The family therapist gave them the option of sending me here.”
“How did you accidentally stab your dad and set your house on fire.”
“Telekinesis and Pyrokenesis.” I say looking at the ceiling
“Huh….you can really do that. WOW.”
“Ya...I guess, I can also turn invisible too.”
“Nuh-uh. That’s ridiculous.” Magnus said laughing
“No I can, her take my hand, so you can make sure I'm still here.” I said as Magnus took my hand, then I went invisible
“Oh WOW, Holy Cow Farts in September!”
“HAHA…yup told you I could.” I say as I turned normal again
“That’s incredible, why don’t you use it to escape.”
“If I do my parents will disown me. So now that I’ve told you my big secret, why did you get sent here?” I asked him
“Well it all started when I was 9, I started cutting myself, then reason I did is still kind of fuzzy, but when I did I would paint pictures with it.” He said looking at the floor
“So is that what the painting the wall with ketchup was all about.”
“Yes, and my parents got so upset, they told me to stop but I couldn’t. Then Mr. Crackers and Marty came and they made me feel better but I still couldn’t stop. My parents thought I was a freak and they were disappointed and ashamed. When I turned 11 our neighbors started getting suspicious so my parents sent me here.”
“How old are you now?”
“17.”
“So you’ve spent 6 yrs here? Oh how awful.” I said as I hugged him
“Kelsey how old are you?”
“I’m 15 and ½ , why?”
“I just didn’t want the way I felt to be wrong. Kelsey I really need you to answer this truthfully, Mr. Crackers and Marty didn’t want me to ask but Kelsey will you be my one and only?” as Magnus said this I thought of Nick, I didn’t want to betray him, But for some odd reason I felt the need to be with Magnus as much as Magnus did me.
“Yes Magnus I will.”



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