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The Cullen Girl

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Author's note: This is my very first fanfiction I've ever written.
Author's note: This is my very first fanfiction I've ever written.  « Hide author's note
Chapters:   « Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 Next »

Teardrops in the Rain

I was actually happy. For the first time in my short-little life, I was actually happy. Everything was beyond perfect. Streaming lights from the ever beautiful sun had risen up from the sky, causing it to reflect a shadow of myself against the wall. I then awoke, from the glorious dream, to a loud beep coming from my alarm clock. Peaking one eye open, I stretched one arm out and, lightly, slammed it on snooze.
I didn't know why, but I didn't even want to step foot out of my bed. I was petrified of what might happen if I even stuck a toe out of bed. The door slowly swung open, in came a gorgeous blond. Her hair had cascaded down towards her hips to form wavered curls, her golden eyes grew wide, a surprised look had plastered onto her face. She smiled slightly, exposing something that looked, as if, to be a fang. I gulped. Hard.
She appeared next to me under a second. I uncovered myself a tiny bit to show her that I'm awake. She bought the message.
"Milla," She whispered, quietly. "It's time to wake up." She took off the covers and threw the outfit, Alice had chosen for me, onto my bed.
"Alright." I mumbled, she left the room as soon as I pulled on the outfit and fixed my hair. Everything in the bathroom looked so delicate, that I didn't even want to touch them. Seamlessly, I couldn't help but do so. The walls in the bathroom, were covered in beige paint, hiding a dark space beneath it, was the shower. A dark red rug hung close by. My hair was done in a stylish side-braid. The stubborn color of my hair didn't seem to be showing anything. As I headed out, a note was sticking out of the roof of my backpack. I opened it up and read aloud to myself:
"My Dearest Milly (Or Milla),
What you are going through, is a stage a lot of youths your age go through everyday of their lives. For you, it's a roller coaster, but to me, you're just a young girl that is looking for a place in the world. But, promise me my dear, your time will come to know, that you are a gem in the Cullen Crest, you resemble a lot of me when I was your age, so don't get discouraged about those that may put you down. And, remember, I will always love you, no matter what kind of danger you put yourself through.
Love,
Esme".
A tear had escaped the deep depths of my eye. I wiped it away as soon as Carlisle walked into the room.
"Milla, are you ready dear?"
"Uh, yeah. Let me just put this away." I gazed towards the window, it was of course gloomy out. Rain had hit the window draft slowly. I winced, placing the note deep into my drawer, as I ran out out the door, down towards where Alice was standing.
"Alright, who's driving Milla?"Alice asked, her hair in it's usual spikes. Her face was serious.
"I will." Someone then spoke, his hair was tousled and messy. The bronze in his hair had been overpowered by streaks of brown. He looked more than serious, he looked happy for a change. I didn't believe that the smile was real,, but his eyes were meeting something, I felt like his eyes were gazing right through me. I figured that he was feeling secured by his lovely bride's side. They all focused their eyes on me, was I supposed to say something?
"What?" I smiled, shyly like.
"Who do you want to drive with?" Emmett, the one guy I figured was named that, asked.
"I guess, you and Rosalie." I calmly said.
"Okay, let's get going."
"But, it's only seven-thirty, were leaving now?"
"School starts in thirty minutes." Emmett smiled, foolishly.
Everyone, excluding Esme and Carlisle, walked out. I followed behind. Suddenly, I then stopped. Bella then grabbed me and raced back into the house.
"What's going on?" I asked walking back towards the door, but was rushed back to the ground, her hissing under her breath.
"Just, stay... it's business that we need to take care of." She smiled slightly and raced back out towards Edward's side. I walked towards the nearest open window and noticed people with cloaks on top of their heads appear, who are they? I thought to myself.
"What do you want now, Jane?" Edward asked, sternly.
"We came to check up. You know, to make sure there isn't another-" The girl, named Jane, then stopped as a tall figure had appeared again, pouncing at them. The figure was also black, pitch black to what my eyes have noted as. The dreadful red eyes then gazed up at me. I wanted run, but something told me to stay, those daring and alluring eyes wouldn't let me move. I felt sick inside. I wanted to puke, but nothing came. The figure made me feel empty inside, it made me flash back to memories I wished I never had. More tears came down, thunder had overcome the high volume my scream was having. I felt like I was on a roller coaster, a never ending loop of death. Fate wasn't there anymore. I was then knocked to ground, blackness had covered my vision. I didn't want to be here. Inside, my heart was racing, but in my mind, thoughts stopped. I couldn't think straight anymore.
Whatever that thing was, left me scarred. I had to find out who or what that thing was, but how?
Chapters:   « Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 Next »


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This book has 37 comments. Post your own!

flutterbye1888 said...
Dec. 22, 2013 at 4:28 pm:
  I think that you had Milla interact with Edward too much. Edward, at this point, would be completely enveloped with his new family.   They don't actually have conventional "fangs"   When introducing the characters, you probably shouldn't say things like "lets call her Bella," or "I guess I can call her Nessie," just because those nicknames were in the books and movies. Have the caracters ask her to call them those things after she uses t... (more »)
 
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Tara_Tomlinson_99This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Dec. 4, 2013 at 2:17 pm:
O.M.G this was awesome.
 
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Tman2 said...
Dec. 3, 2013 at 5:59 pm:
same thing you did twilight justice love the foster home thing
 
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Girlonfire12 said...
Sept. 12, 2013 at 8:07 pm:
Hey i loved the book you just need to continue it. i don't believe this is your first fan fiction u r so good look for mine it is called how i survived the hunger games.
 
Tman2 replied...
Dec. 3, 2013 at 5:58 pm :
You did a really great job I like the story and style
 
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101929 said...
Apr. 26, 2013 at 2:29 pm:
nicely done! creative ideas!
 
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Naadz said...
Aug. 2, 2012 at 3:36 am:
I love the book, but I want more! Please continue this book... I really really liked it! The plot is so great.. You really have a vivid imagination!:)
 
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Alynumber4 said...
Jun. 19, 2012 at 5:11 pm:
I like the idea of this book, and the writing is pretty good, but I find myself confused by a lot of the English used. English is my first language, and I'm fairly sure that alot of this is not using correct grammar. I'm not looking to really critique you or anything, but some of the paragraphs in which really important things happened I ended up having to re-read and spend a few moments speculating about what you had meant to say, which made it hard to get lost in the story. Try having someone ... (more »)
 
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Lacer said...
May 18, 2012 at 3:27 pm:

Hmmhmmhmm. I know this is Twilight fanfiction, and I generally dispporve of fanfiction. It tends to be sloppy, and done in an hour over a wave of enthusiasm.
But, I do admit, the first page is done okay. No, I'm sorry to say I can't tell you that its good, and it does need improvement, but that's why I review, hmm?

First off, your usign first person narrative because Stephanie Meyer did it, and you want to be a character in the story. That is the weakness of all... (more »)

 
Branderz replied...
May 18, 2012 at 3:58 pm :
Thanks for the advice... But, I wasn't putting myself in the story whatsoever.... I also made this character up
 
Lacer replied...
May 18, 2012 at 4:41 pm :
It's a common association.
 
Moayo lest replied...
Feb. 4 at 12:21 am :
I really love the plot to the story but im dying for more. and some romance would be relly cool to. just a suggestion. the end kinda confused me but it just added to the suspence.
 
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Andra said...
Feb. 5, 2012 at 12:44 am:
is it free to post a novel? im new.
 
DirectingGabs replied...
Feb. 11, 2012 at 6:54 pm :
Yess it is.
 
AHPK0 replied...
Feb. 12, 2012 at 3:34 pm :
thank you for your help
 
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UNserieswriter said...
Dec. 5, 2011 at 6:57 pm:

having written both my stories from multiple points of view, i suggest you refrain from explicitly saying things like:

"From Alice's point of view."

Instead try to make it clear through thoughts, conversation, surroundings, and the characters actions who is currently holding the point of view.

Just some friendly advice. :)

Just some friendly advice

 
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princees yui said...
Nov. 22, 2011 at 2:55 pm:
sorry.not 2 be mean but totally 2 SHORT!But it was creative.
 
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msoledadvc said...
Nov. 2, 2011 at 10:53 pm:

Well, I think I'd better tell you before that sometimes I don't understand because my "mother language" isn't English, if not Spanish. So I'll read it again more carefully and try to understand. ;)

But I really love this book!

 
Branderz replied...
Nov. 3, 2011 at 6:50 am :
Aww thanks and it's okay :)
 
msoledadvc replied...
Nov. 4, 2011 at 1:41 am :
:) Just telling the truth.. By the way, do you know how to tag an article as favorite?? I haven't still figured it out, help?
 
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