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Forbidden
March 15, 2012
Summary:
Jennifer Lacer is a Forbidden. She is an outcast. A fugitive. And she is all alone. Her parents are dead. Her brother is missing. And she will stop at nothing to get her revenge. After all, she is only sixteen.
Peyton C.
Forbidden
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This book has 11 comments.
I don't want to sound very critical. I like your story. It's interesting and the concept is nice but there are certain areas where I think the language could be improved. Also, in chapter 2, it seems that you are talking in the present but as the first chapter was referred to in the past, perhaps it would be better to carry on in the same way but I still really like it. I hope this helps!
writer3499 GOLD said...
on Sep. 21 2012 at 9:23 pm
I would deffinetly read it if you wrote a sequel and I bet alot of other people would too!! If you do end up wrting a sequel I would probably love it but its going to be hard to make the second story as good as this! But i'm sure it will be great....please write more!!
Ms.PeytonLovesHP GOLD said...
on Sep. 20 2012 at 7:17 pm
Thank you! I'm so stoked that you loved it. That totally made my day. It's okay that I didn't win; the girl who won defienetly had a better piece. But THANK YOU! I wrote this a LONG time ago, and I was thinking about doing a sequel. What do you think? I don't know....
writer3499 GOLD said...
on Aug. 17 2012 at 9:32 am
WOW this is amazing!!! This is one of the best things I have read on TeenInk! The idea is so creative... your a great writer! I loved every sigle thing about this! I t should have deffinetly won the contest...this is completly fabulous!!!
Ms.PeytonLovesHP GOLD said...
on Apr. 12 2012 at 7:47 pm
Oh yeah, if your confused on whose answering your question, i changed my name from Peyton C. to HarryPotterLover30 :)
Ms.PeytonLovesHP GOLD said...
on Apr. 12 2012 at 7:46 pm
Tnx that you liked it; her parents rebeled against the Council by trying to spread word of the Councils evilness and they tried to go after some leaders, but they got caught, someone ratted them out. Sorry i didn't mention this, but ill try to fix it and put it in. :) Anythging else that I missed?
AthenaSilverwolf said...
on Apr. 12 2012 at 1:57 pm
thought the book was really good. but now i'm curious; what did her parents do to become forbiddens? Loved it otherwise
Ms.PeytonLovesHP GOLD said...
on Mar. 23 2012 at 8:06 pm
Hey, I hope you guys post. I worked really hard on this. I would want some feed back. I wrote this for the hunger games writing contest but i didn't win :( Oh well. please post!
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