Follow Teen Ink on Twitter »
I feel like this would be a good story if you went back and slowed it down.
The doctor needs to be a bit more realistic. He wouldn't just say "your baby died in your stomach!" he'd say something like: "you had a miscarriage" or something a bit more proper and he would say it quietly because this is devastating news and he has a personal connection with the mother.
Another thing too is that if Karen is personally narrating the story she wouldn't know a... (more »)
Umm... okay and another thing because I just finished reading the book.
If the baby had "died" in the mum's stomach they would have taken it out that very day. They would have done a surgery and removed the miscarried baby because keeping it in the mum's stomach is EXTREMELY dangerous so the end-point of this book is practically impossible.
Over all, this book is too short for the plotline and if you went back and expanded it and followed my other tip... (more »)
Thank you for your advice! And thanks for reading! I was younger when I wrote this, so yes, it isn't my best work. But thanks for the feedback!
~ Free :)(: