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TeenInk RT @omniya134: http://t.co/N6Sr3YfN via @teenink an article i've posted on @teenink

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TeenInk RT @jbakernyc: [The point is]Equality! We're all the same and shouldn't be judged by who we love or what we look like. Lofty goal! #teenink

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Home > Novel (Fiction) > Action-Adventure > The Underground Network
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The Underground Network

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UNserieswriter
The Underground Network
Summary: The feigned his death. And now he can't see.
The feigned his death. And now he can't hear.
The feigned his death. And now he's all alone.
But why?
What's the purpose behind the Council's recruiting seemingly normal kids.
Their extraordinary powers of course. Shapeshifters, firebreahters, telepaths, living dead.
The most powerful army the world has never seen lives right beneath your feet, and they want you!
At least that what they keep telling Axel. But Mr.Minc knows the secrets, and he's not telling Axel what they are. But somehow, Axel's going to find out, danger and all.

Tags: series incomplete




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Nick-MThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Feb. 26 at 11:05 pm:

You told me to post a comment on it to continue to the discussion. And I agree, after rereading it with that it mind... It flows, but the phrase is split awkwardly.

 

 
Nick-MThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Feb. 26 at 11:10 pm :
Also: Worthy of note that it's actually in unrhyming couplets, but teenink cut my lines. (I think I have a wide monitor or something- it's fine in ms word.) In the couplets there is a rhyming scheme, though. Every other couplet rhymes.
 
Nick-MThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Feb. 27 at 6:12 pm :
test           
 
Nick-MThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Feb. 27 at 6:13 pm :

docs.google).)com/document/d/1EoBu8O9WXKtTAHnCJkBdom2fFcfXQBeHDNSqAY_1h2Y/edit

This is a link to a google document that has a bit more normalized spacing. IT won't work unless you take out the )), but I'm not sure how I should improve those stanzas-- or if it might be better in stanzas than couplets.

 

 
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TimekeeperThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jan. 18 at 4:54 pm:
I loved it! I really enjoyed your characterization and dialogue, it felt very organic and realistic. I especially liked the ending, it really hits the reader out of nowhere.
 
UNserieswriterThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Feb. 26 at 10:33 pm :
 Well thank you! Although, it's a work in progress. It's nowhere near the end.
 
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Wildflower30This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jan. 7 at 1:52 am:
A t-h-r-i-l-l! It was captivating from the very beginning. Amazingly done. Will be reading the next chapters in a moment. :)
 
UNserieswriterThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jan. 7 at 10:39 pm :
thank you! i would appreciate if you could talk about what you specifically liked.
 
Wildflower30This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jan. 7 at 11:05 pm :
The realness of it.
 
UNserieswriterThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jan. 8 at 12:04 pm :
"the realness". thanks..SO MUCH.
 
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SN3RDThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Dec. 20, 2011 at 10:04 pm:
Hey I promised i would read and I did I do love the scene setting and everything else! I've only gotten through like the first page, i wasn't sure if you wanted me to go through the whole chapter or not
 
UNserieswriterThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Dec. 21, 2011 at 6:12 am :
read as much as you'd like to!
 
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Canman said...
Dec. 20, 2011 at 2:10 pm:
omg i love it! your use of the charater's confusion throughout it all is soo good. idek what i would do. KEEP WRITING!
 
UNserieswriterThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Dec. 20, 2011 at 9:29 pm :
HAHA! thanks canman! keep reading! and check out Roman Leagues too!
 
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SparkoraThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Dec. 11, 2011 at 6:27 pm:
Yeah, my Corliss Sinclair story got messed up with the paragraphs, too. I don't know why that happens. The description was great, though the whole "I was" thing did sound a bit elementary,  even if you meant to do that. But other than that, the storyline roped me in! It was new, which is hard to find. Keep writing, and I'll keep reading:)
 
UNserieswriterThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Dec. 11, 2011 at 10:17 pm :
wait it sounds like you read all of it.. did you? thanks for the comment. and tbh i hate the first chapter, i mean I know the story gets better, but the first chapter might not be alluring to a new reader. thanks again! and comment if you want something read!
 
SparkoraThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Dec. 12, 2011 at 11:27 am :
I didn't read all of it at once, but I'm serious, the story is superb. I'm currently writing a book as well, but not for TeenInk. I actually want to publish mine, but I think you might beat me to it! I'm going to read some here and there until I finish, because the tiny spacing does make it a bit hard on my eyes. But keep it up! I'm on Chapter 5 right now:)
 
UNserieswriterThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Dec. 12, 2011 at 3:47 pm :
wow! thank you very much! and i'm trying to get this published seeing as teen ink doesnt mind if you publish pieces on their sight..
 
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milforceThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Dec. 11, 2011 at 2:26 pm:
Nice job, just be sure to fix your errors and try to show things more instead of telling them and it'll be really awesome :)
 
UNserieswriterThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Dec. 11, 2011 at 10:19 pm :
ok thanks!
 
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AnimaCordisThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Dec. 11, 2011 at 8:47 am:

I liked this lots, though it was a little hard to read at times.

I totally love their names! The characters were cool too!

 
UNserieswriterThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Dec. 11, 2011 at 12:14 pm :
thanks a lot! if you liked this try Roman Leagues also. also chapter 15 you HAVE to read. i feel like it's a great part even on it's own. 
 
AnimaCordisThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Dec. 29, 2011 at 5:28 am :
Chapter 15 bulit lots of suspence. You may want to structure your work differently, it was at times difficult to read. You may also want to reduce your amount of characters, there are lots of them to keep track of.
 
UNserieswriterThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Dec. 29, 2011 at 6:02 pm :
okay. that seems to be the largest complaint. i guess i'll see what i can do about the structure.
 
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CarrieAnn13This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Dec. 10, 2011 at 1:56 pm:

Okay, I have a bit of criticism.

1.  “I was having vivid dreams.  I was in the park, and the sun was shining.  I was wearing shorts and a bright t-shirt.”  One thing I notice throughout your novel is that you really need to vary your sentence beginnings.  Just read these three sentences aloud and see how they sound with ‘I was’ at the beginning of all three.  It doesn’t sound very good, does it?

&nb... (more »)

 
UNserieswriterThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Dec. 10, 2011 at 2:11 pm :

thank you for this! to address #1 the repitition is on purpose

2. that was because of teen ink. idk what happened but they messed up my paragraphs!

3. i agree. i hate the beginning of my book but the further in you go the better it gets. (TRY CHAPTER 10 AND UP. CHAPTER 15 IS A MUST)

4. OK

5. tough at times, but i'll try to do that

6. i try to, but sometimes when you get carried away, you forget about those things!

Thanks agian! and please read chapter... (more »)

 
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Briannah said...
Dec. 10, 2011 at 1:51 pm:
thats a great book i reallylove it
 
UNserieswriterThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Dec. 11, 2011 at 12:15 pm :
thank you so much!
 
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ZennyThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Dec. 10, 2011 at 9:27 am:
You did a really good job describing things. I loved how you described the character's feelings inside in the first few paragraphs. My eyes hurt, though, because of the lack of breaks. THat's my only criticism. Otherwise, I like it.
 
UNserieswriterThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Dec. 10, 2011 at 10:13 am :

I AGREE SOOOO MUCH!!!!!
I did have it spaced out quite nicely, but unfortunately, all that was apperently lost during the editting process for the submission. :(

 

 
UNserieswriterThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Dec. 10, 2011 at 10:15 am :
and as for the character's feelings: THANK YOU. one of my biggest concerns was sounding like axel was genuinly describing what he thought. this is exaclty wha king of criticism i look for! thanks again! 
 
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Noni3280This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Dec. 10, 2011 at 1:51 am:
this sounds really cool, great description
 
UNserieswriterThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Dec. 10, 2011 at 10:11 am :
thank you sooo much. you have no idea how much i appreciate every view, comment, and rate. tell me what you think afterwards!
 
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ChocolatefrogThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Dec. 9, 2011 at 3:26 pm:
*i meant to say more in the first bit sorry
 
Sinc321This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Dec. 9, 2011 at 4:29 pm :
it was good, i skimmed over it and i enjoyed it =) 
 
UNserieswriterThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Dec. 10, 2011 at 10:09 am :

for the best part skip to chapter 15. absolutly the best part yet

 

 
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ChocolatefrogThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Dec. 9, 2011 at 3:25 pm:
It is very good and descriptive, the only thing that i would fix is adding paragraphs
 
UNserieswriterThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Dec. 9, 2011 at 3:35 pm :

actually it was several paragraphs. but because of the teenink staff's editting, the format is altered. be sure to read it all, recomond it to others, and comment avidly thanks!

 

 
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meowers5This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Dec. 9, 2011 at 2:59 pm:

WOW!!!!! reaally good!!

check out my stuff plzz!!!!

 
UNserieswriterThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Dec. 9, 2011 at 3:39 pm :
Thank you sooooo much! i will! please recommond and comment! i appreciate everything you do!
 
meowers5This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Dec. 9, 2011 at 4:38 pm :
U R welcome. ahaha thanks
 
UNserieswriterThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Dec. 9, 2011 at 4:58 pm :
i took a look at your things too. tell me if there's anything you want me to read!
 
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