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Target
Summary: Ex-firefighter, Emmit Anderson, woks for the government after the accident. When he is entrusted with top secret government information, he doesn't know what he's getting into. Nobody was supposed to suspect a government desk worker, but they were wrong.
emilybwriteswow this was fantastic great imagery i loved it! please check out my poem "Forgotten Domain" and please comment!!!
Steph0804 said...
Jul. 21, 2011 at 9:58 am:
Jul. 21, 2011 at 9:58 am:
*Sniff* I was hoping that Bernice was gonna kill Vince.
Steph0804 said...
Jul. 21, 2011 at 9:41 am:
Jul. 21, 2011 at 9:41 am:
Hm... if the woman pronounces her w's as v's, shouldn't she pronounce her th's as z's?
By the way, I was hooked from the first page :)
Wow. I am so glad you added more to it. This is so good! Keep going. I need to know more! This would make an awesome movie. I like the suspense with Emmit. I mean, they didn't say he was dead, right? I am so pumped to read more! Go Ryter! :-D
Thanks! Actually, everything I write, I see as a movie, hence my inspiration: real actors/actresses! I plan one day for one of my stories to be made into a movie! But we all know I've got 1/1000000000000000 (i dont even know how many zeros I just put...) chance of that ever happening. I guess I just have to meet the right people. :/
One can dream, or one can work. Depends on how stressed I am at the time. LOL.
Basketball23
OH MY GOSH!!!! I don't have a single thing to criticize about this. Target is most definitely the BEST story I've every read. GREAT JOB!!! This is absolutely amazing!!!! I love everything about this. It must be so hard for Bernice to kill Emmit...awwww :`( It's so sad and emotional and everything. This is fantastic!!! I can't wait to hear the rest!!!!
How do you know he's dead? Did you read my little side comment? >:)
Oh my goodness!!! Now I'm confused...is he dead or isn't he?!?!?!?!
Haha well I lvoe everything about it!!! I can't wait to read more!!!
Medina D. Like charmiypiggy said, the story DID go a little faster then what i was used to, but i really enjoyed reading it!! There are SOME things you could fix, like in the flashback, you could make the flashback one lone paragraph. Even though i could tell it was a flashback (and an interesting one at that) you could use past tenses and stuff like that, to really set the scene...........But eventually i did get caught up in the story and the adventure and the romance.
But why was Bernice... (more »)
Let me just say, they are not going to run away together. >:) does that put you back to the first square of figuring out what's going to happen?
Urg! I can never get one thought onto one post! Bernice is a Russian spy/trained killer. I thought I made that clear, but I guess I'll have to make it a little more clear. The disks are US government secrets, and she is collecting them for her government's use. I know in real life, we are like allies (sp?) with Russia or something to that effect, but I'm also not sure when this takes place, but it doesn't matter really. This is basically a first draft and I'll have to fix some things up (obvious... (more »)
yes, i knew Bernice was a Russian spy :) It reminds me of the movie Salt!
And thanks, that really clears it up!!
Now i kinda feel bad for the guy with the package. All because it was given to him, he's gotta be killed!
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