As he neared the dark woods, Edmund looked back at the now small castle. To think that the knights even considered that they could come with me, Edmund thought to himself, they wouldn’t survive a single night in the Enchanted Woods.  He suddenly stopped his horse as he reached the entrance to the looming forest.
    “I’ve got this, Ace,” he said to his horse, pulling on the reins,“I’m gonna go save our future Queen.”
He was off, into the forest with nothing but himself, his horse, and enough food and supplies to last him a lifetime.
As Edmund, or rather his horse, galloped down the path, the tall trees condensed into a thick forest. The waning sunlight flickered through the canopy about him, and Edmund took the time to look around. Mossy ground surrounded the path, patches of vibrant flowers bloomed around him, and deep green vines climbed towards the sunlight.  Edmund was suddenly pulled out of his trance when Ace reared up. Standing in the middle of the path was the ugliest woman he had ever seen. At least I think it is a woman. He somewhat smoothly hopped off the saddle to talk to her.
    “Excuse me. Miss?”
She looked up at him from her hunched over form, “Sir, kind sir if--” her voice came out like rough sandpaper.
    “I’m sorry ma’am, but you are standing in the middle of the road. I don’t know if you can see, but this here,” he said, pointing back and forth across the width of the road, “is a path for horses, carriages and other fast moving transportation devices. If you’re gonna cross, make it quick”.
    “I’m sorry sir, but I am so hungry. Do you have any food to spare? Anything at all?” Edmund rolled his eyes. So she’s a beggar. There’s no way I’m wasting my food on her. I need it for myself.
    “Sorry ma’am, but I really don’t have any extra food. None at all really. So if you could kindly get out of my way, that would be just swell,” The woman looked puzzled, before motioning her hand to his horse.
    “Sir, are those,” she squinted her eyes, “not four bags full of food? Surely you could spare a mere apple on a poor old lady?”
    “Ma’am. I’m tired of trying to negotiate with you. I’m not going to give you my food.” And with that he jumped back onto his horse with the agility only a prince possesses and glared at the woman. 
Before he could say anything more, she twisted up into the air in a spiral of purple sparkles before transforming into the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.
    “woah- I mean- who- what?” The now beautiful woman stared back at the Prince with his fumbling words. Rather than explaining, she humphed, spread her glittery wings and said,
    “And to think I almost granted you three wishes”, before disappearing with a flick of her wand and a splash of pixie dust.
    “Well,” Edmund spoke aloud to himself, “that was unexpected. But I have to stay focused, night has almost fallen.” He decided that rather than pitching camp where he was, he would travel a bit farther first.

That wasn’t his best idea yet, as 10 minutes later it was pouring rain, and Edmund was having a hard time putting up a tent.
    “Ace, gosh you just stand there mocking me. It’s not my fault I’ve never learned how to use this thing!” Edmund whined at his horse, as he himself fumbled with the now soaking tent material. Seven minutes later no tent was up, and the rain was still coming down in torrential sheets. Edmund, his horse, his somewhat put up tent, and his bags were all drowning in the massive amounts of rain.
    “You know what? I’m done, Ace. I give up. This tent is not going to be put up.” And with that, he grabbed his bags, sat down on the soaking moss with a splurch, and pulled the tent material over his head.
    Let’s just say that Edmund didn’t sleep like a Prince that night. In fact, no one slept that night in the enchanted forest. Including the two children that stumbled upon Edmund and his half-hearted camp early the next morning.
    “I think there is a person in that plastic thing.” Edmund heard a whisper from outside his makeshift tent and froze. A different voice spoke this time.
    “Are you sure?”
    “Yes, it just twitched.” Edmund heard soft footsteps as they neared him, and he prepared himself to perform some sort of defensive move.
“ARGHH!” He yelled as he threw the tent off himself and jumped to his feet. Rather than the goblin-like creatures he had been expecting, two young children stood in front of him. He awkwardly brushed off his muddy pants as they looked at him apprehensively.
    “Well, are you just going to stand there and look at me?” Edmund scanned them judgingly.
    “Actually, we need your help.” Edmund didn’t even bother to hold in a dramatic sigh.
    “Gosh, everyone needs me. Princesses, old ladies, little children. Who do you think I am? A knight?” He scoffed, and the kids just looked at him as he continued to ramble, “Well, I’ll have you know, I’m most certainly not a knight. I am Prince Edmund Heslin. Now who are you?”
    “I’m Gregory and this is my sister: Harriet,”
    “What are you children doing in the enchanted forest alone?”
    “Well, funny story actually. We got lost after our dad took us into the forest to chop wood. Now we’re trying to find our way back. Whenever we got lost before, we would just talk to the birds, but since the rain they haven’t been very talkative.” Did I hear them correctly?
    “Excuse me, talk to the birds?”
    “Why yes…” They looked at Edmund with confused expressions, as if he were crazy for not talking to the birds.
    “Okay, anyway. What do you need from me? I have a princess to save,” Edmund puffed up his chest as he said that last line.
    “Well we were wondering if you could help us look for our house. You have a horse so you could travel faster.” As soon as Gregory had said “you could help” Edmund was already up and packing his damp belongings.
    “Sorry kids, but I have my own adventure to tend to.”
    “But sir, we really do need your help.” But Edmund was already back on his horse.  He looked down on them one last time,
“You got lost, really not my problem.” And he was off, leaving the helpless children to fend for themselves.

Two hours and a sore butt later, Edmund saw a bright clearing ahead.
    “Yes! Princess saving here we come!” He spurred Ace into a gallop for a more dramatic entrance. As the now bright sun temporarily blinded Edmund, he called out,
    “Valerie, Oh Princess Valerie, let down your hair!” As his eyes started to clear, he heard a voice much closer than in a high up tower reply.
    “Who do you think I am, a Damsel in Distress?” Standing in front of Edmund was a girl about his age. Dressed in overalls and her bare feet, she looked like something out of the fantasy books he read. Her hair, dirty brown, was shoulder length. No, that can’t be right. Edmund thought with slight fear. This couldn’t be his princess, could it?
    “I’m sorry. I must be in the wrong place. You-your hair-it’s short. I’m looking for Princess Valerie… Do you have any idea where she would be?” Rather than answering, the girl just looked at him with raised eyebrows before laughing.
    “Wait- a-are you laughing at me?!” Edmund sputtered.
    “Well you must be the ever handsome Prince Edmund I have only heard of.” Edmund’s arrogant demeanor was immediately restored as she put the attention upon him.
    “Why yes, I am rather handsome, aren’t I?”
The girl sighed and rolled her eyes. This was going to be a long day.
    “So why are you here?”
    “Well, I am on my way to rescue a certain Princess Valerie. She is to become my wife, the future Queen. Do you have any idea which way I should go to find her?” He started pointing randomly, having lost all sense of his direction.
    “I’m sorry for the misunderstanding, but Princess Valerie isn’t in need of any sort of Prince. She’s perfectly fine by herself.”
    “And how would you know anything about what a princess needs? For all I know, you could be keeping her captive.”
    “Oh, get over yourself. For your information, I am Princess Valerie. Now you can leave, as I’m fine by myself.” Edmund stared at her, not bothering to keep his mouth closed.
    “What?! You can’t be a Princess. Why aren’t you wearing a long gown? And- and your hair… It’s so short! And you aren’t locked in your tower!”
    “Please. As if I would have stayed in my tower for 16 years just waiting for a Prince to come and rescue me. Six years ago I figured out how to get in and out of the tower, cut the heavy, greasy mop that was my hair, and started living the way I wanted to live.”
    “That can’t be right,  I’m supposed to rescue you. That’s how it works,” Edmund stated with confidence. Before Valerie could reply, a large silver dragon swooped down into the clearing and grabbed her with its talons. Now, Valerie wasn’t worried. Every year around this time the young dragons tried to capture her. But rather than fight back, she decided she would play along and let the Prince do his job.
    “Prince Edmund, I guess now’s your chance to save your dear Princess. He’ll head to his lair that way!” She pointed to Edmund’s left, and before she could continue with more directions to aid the clueless Prince, the dragon flew off in exactly the direction she had pointed.
    “Wait! No…. No no no, I didn’t know I had to fight a dragon!” Edmund nervously paced the meadow, “This was not the plan. Ride through forest, find tower, call to Princess, save princess in her tower, go home. That was the plan. There were no dragons!” Ace snorted his disapproval of the Prince’s nervous breakdown, and Edmund suddenly stopped pacing.
    “Ace, you’re right. I need to stop talking to my horse and go save the Princess! I can kill a dragon with my eyes closed- I’m Prince Edmund!” And with that he jumped on Ace and headed in the general direction the Princess had pointed to.

10 minutes of pep talks later, Edmund reached a tall stone mountain side with a large opening to his left.
“It’s now or never you handsome devil,” He told himself, “You know you can do this”. He jumped off his horse, pulled his sword out of its sheath with the typical ‘shiiiiinnggg’, and walked with a air of confidence towards the opening of the cave. Of course, battling a dragon is a lot different than thinking about battling a dragon, and as soon as the dragon let out the expected bone-curdling roar, Edmund was having second thoughts.
“Edmund, just stab him in the stomach, there are no scales there!” Valerie yelled from somewhere behind the dragon.
“Where are you, Princess?”
“I’m behind the dragon, he’s holding me back with his tail… now kill him already!”
“Right. Kill him.” The dragon bared its long, sharp teeth at Edmund, daring him to try. Edmund dove towards the dragon’s stomach, just to be thrown backwards into the wall.
“Come on! You’ve got to be more trained than this.”
“Oh, I’m sorry, Princess. But you’re not the one trying to kill the dragon right now, so just shut up.”
“Alright dragon, come at me.” The dragon gave him what looked surprisingly like a smirk, before charging at him, fire and all. In that moment- that moment in which one’s life flashes right before one's very eyes- Edmund realized something. He had time to duck under the path of fire before jumping up and yelling,
“Alright! You win! I give up. You can keep the girl, honestly, she isn’t worth it. No dress, no hair... You keep her, and I’ll just be on my way,” Edmund slowly backed towards the entrance of the cave, and the dragon looking at him strangely, “Sorry, Princess, but my life means more than yours.”
Before Valerie could speak her mind on the subject, the fearsome dragon reached its head down with stunning calmness and swallowed the Prince whole. Valerie just watched as Edmund’s sword clattered to the ground. However, she didn’t take the time to question the dragon’s actions. She quickly jumped over to the sword, grabbed it and sliced the dragon’s head off. Casually brushing off her hands, she chuckled and then spoke aloud as she thought she should.
“Just another typical spring day for me. Too bad it ended so poorly for you two.” With a last glance back at the dead dragon and prince inside of him, she bounded out of the cave, jumped onto the Prince’s horse, and rode off into the sunset.

And they all lived Happily Ever After (Except of course for the Prince and the Dragon)...

The End