The Devils Twin | Teen Ink

The Devils Twin

September 9, 2013
By A-Chan, las vegas, Nevada
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A-Chan, Las Vegas, Nevada
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Author's note: anime, manga and music inspired me to write this book

The author's comments:
this is my first book please go easy on me thank you and hope you enjoy.

I woke up and some guy was carrying me in his arm like I was a princess or something, it was night there was a full moon it was glowing, I couldn't move I was in shock, where was I? , I didn't know, who is this guy was and why was I asking myself questions that I don’t know the answer to, wait who was I ….. How can’t I know myself…….. Was I mean or........... Was I nice … who am I????? I didn't know, how was I supposed to know? “Wait am I still letting this stranger carry me??? I should speak up?” I thought. “ummm…. not to be rude but can you put me down?” I said while forcing a smile “fine with me” he said with a smile and dropped me on the floor “what why did you do that for????” I said screaming at him “well you said to put you down so....”he said with a stupid look on his face “yea but I thought you'd put me down gently not throw me “I said still on the floor. “Oh i'm sorry he said while he reached for my hand. For that moment he looked so cute with the moon glowing on him “Are you blushing?” he said laughing “no you wish I would “I said sticking out my tongue as I grabbed his hand and he pulled me up “a-ha ok whatever you say princess” he said with a smirk on his face. “Princess who said you can call me princess?” I yelled at him “you said before you passed out this is exactly what you said …..”he paused for a few moments and started again “you can call me princess because……” he said trying to emanate me than he stopped talking “what else did I say” I said “you passed out after that you passed out sorry I can’t say anymore” he said while shrugging “well we should find a place to sleep hopefully the cops don’t find us” he said calmly “COPS?????? Are you saying I…..” I stopped “I mean WE are wanted by the cops????” I yelled “not only the cops “he said “but the S.W.A.T. and the FBI too” he said with a smile “what did we do!? ……….To make us wanted I mean.” I said “oh nothing to bad I mean well I did nothing to bad I maybe killed a few guys but you ha-ha you went overboard you killed ten guys you ripped out three guys throats and two guys eyes but other than that we did nothing bad so far I don’t even want to mention the other times” he said as if that was a normal day for him “ what I did that “ I stopped and started freaking out “stop freaking out you’re going to wake people so let’s get some sleep here ok?” he said looking around “ok” I said while calming down
The next morning I saw the guy still sleeping he had brown hair and I don’t know what color eyes he had because they were closed but he looked about maybe fifteen years old, he opened his eyes and I was close to his face but I did not noticed I was close “ummm why are you so close” he said with a weird look on his face but I was lost in his beautiful green eyes “Hu?” I said still close not knowing “ummmm I said why you are so close?” he repeated “close?” I said still not knowing “yes close “ he said looking uncomfortably finally I realizes how close I was and move back really fast and I think I started blushing “ ummm what’s your name ?” I said “my name?” he said pointing at himself with a dumb look on his face “yes do you know your name?” I said looking even stupider “yup I do” he said “so what is it?” I said “oh right my name is……” right that moment cops started yelling at us and he grabbed my hand and started running “it would help if you run to” he said smiling at that moment we started running once we lost them we were gasping for air, some guy walked out of the shadows with a knife “you want to play, we can have so much fun, won’t you be my guest of honor?” he said while spinning the knife in his hand for some reason I was looking around I saw a peace of broken glass I picked it up “oh well I’m afraid I have to take a rain check” I said not knowing suddenly I ran besides him and stopped and smiled “goodbye” I said walking away “what did you do? I don’t see anything “he said then that moment his head fell off “did I do that w-w-w-why, did I do that and how did I do that??” I wondered “what’s wrong?” a voice said in my head “who are you what do you want from me?!?!?! What did I do? Why is this happening to me?!?!” I scram out loud while my hands were on my head I felt like I was pulling my hair out then I felt a hand on my shoulder “its ok I’m here I’ll stay with you I won’t leave you alone ok, and that's a promise” they guy said with a smile I felt happy at that moment for some reason, I was happy that he was going to be with me, that I wasn't going to be alone. “Don’t worry ill protect you don’t worry about a thing ok” the voice said “who are you?” I wounded “I’m your twin, I died and my soul went to you and here I am, also I will handle the entire fighting ok?” “Ummm ok I guess that sounds ok” I thought but I smiled “ummmm why are you smiling?” the boy asked “never mind so what’s your name?” I asked “my name is Sousuke what’s yours?” he said “mine?” I said “yeah yours” he said “why won’t you give me one?” I said shrugging “seriously you’ll let me pick a name for you?” he said jumping like a little kid with a huge smile. “Yup hurry this offer expires” I said with a smirk “ummm ….. I know your new name is Sora ok” he said “ok that’s my name” I said. ”So Sora how do you like you new name?” Sousuke said “I’m starting to hate it” I said “why Sora, why do you hate your name?” he said with a stupid look on his face “I hate it because you use it in every sentence you say, that’s why I hate it” I said “oh i’m sorry Sora I didn't mean to say your name in every sentence, can you ever forgive me Sora? Sousuke said not knowing he had used my name twice in the sentence. “You just used it again” I said “use what?” Sousuke said stupidly “my name” I said than at that moment someone started pointing at me and said “its Hindu run hide your children its Hindu she has come to kill us all” than at that moment everyone panicked and started running everywhere “shall I kill them all” my twin said “what no we just need to hide where can we hide do you see a place or something?” I thought back to my twin” “over there” the twin said when I saw what my twin was talking about I grabbed Sousuke and ran over to the shack she was talking about it was empty and dusty there was one bed there nothing else though “what was that all about and why did they call me Hindu? I don’t understand” I said while sitting on the bed “you don’t know about the legend of Hindu?” Sousuke said “no tell me” I said “Ok well here it goes , One day a girl about 14 years old was tired of being alive she was totally suicidal she put a stage in the town square and she went up she had gotten acid than she drank it she had long beautiful hair the color red and she had gray eyes and she was the most beautiful girl in all the town when she drank the acid she just walked away with no pain no injuries nothing it was like if she did nothing, than the next day she hung herself nothing still she was still alive she got mad than she started killing people than one day she just disappeared than she was born once again she was supposed to be born but she died and she went into someone else soul and that person was you” Sousuke said calmly “w-w-w-w –what??????”I said freaking out “how do you know it’s me???” I said quickly “because you drank acid and nothing happened they put you on a pole and surrounded you with fire and it burned you alive everyone thought it must not be her than, than at that moment you opened your eyes and jumped down from the pole laughing and tore the lady that was nearest to you in half from the top of her head down to her feet you were covered in blood laughing. Now Sora go to sleep” Sousuke said smiling “but i’m not…….”I was paralyzed I could see anything “come in doctor” Sousuke said. “Ha-ha I think she actually thought you two were friends, how pathetic a beast like her being friends with you ha-ha.” the lady said “ha-ha the only person here who is pathetic is you doc.” Sousuke said “what are you talking about…..”I heard someone drop on the floor “yes just like I said your pathetic doc. You’re the one who killed my family you are trying to control her just leave her be if i’m with her I will make sure she won’t take things to far I won’t let her become just like you I won’t allow it mother” “b-b-b-but Sousuke w-w-w-w-we had plans we w-w-w-w-were going to be big we were going to be rich h-h-h-how dare y-y-you” Sousuke's mom said while she died Sousuke said than everything went silent “let’s go Sora” Sousuke said while picking me up and walking out of the room.” how stupid was she hehehehehe” Sousuke said with a huge goofy smile I felt so weird I could see and hear everything but I can’t move, I felt relief he didn't turn me in wait what is he going to do with me? I passed out all of a sudden when I woke up all I saw was a pitch black room nothing more a light came on “so know that you know what are you going to do will you continue killing people?” a voice said than a face came out of the shadows they had a goofy smile I should of known it was Sousuke “Ha-ha I was just kidding you don’t have to answer that well are you hungry?” Sousuke said. ”I sure am” I said loud and not knowing that I too had the goofy smile than he laughed and gave me some food “so how old are you?” I asked “me?” Sousuke said “yes you” I said back “I’m 15” Sousuke said “so how old are you?” Sousuke asked quickly “ummmmm I have to go to the restroom be right back” I said quickly “fine hurry back” Sousuke said knowing I was changing the subject once I got in the bathroom I looked in the mirror to see how old I looked my face was all dirty I couldn't see myself I cleaned off my face than I saw my bright green eyes and it went with my long auburn hair and when I was wiping my hands on my pants I felt something I pulled out what was in my pocket and a wallet was in there “AN ID “I said out loud “oops sorry” I said to some lady giving me the evil eye. The ID said I was Isabella unknown and I was 14 years old after I figured out who I was and how old I was I didn't know what to do next “so I guess I’ll stick around with the dumb-ass over there” I thought looking at him and he was playing with his straw and he was having fun then I walked to the seat and sat down than he stopped playing with the straw and said “so how old are you?” Sousuke said “I’m 14 now can we please leave?” I said while examining the room and saw a cop’s car outside “why?” Sousuke said stupidly “there is cops here outside they are parked” I said acting all calm and as if I was a undercover spy or something than Sousuke ruins it by acting suspicious at the cop saying “I’m not doing anything I’m just a person eating my food minding my own business” Sousuke said like a moron “what’s your problem son?” the cop said that was standing right next to me “nothing my ……” before I got to finish the cop said “your boyfriend right because you two don’t look like brother and sister” the cop said “ummmm yea my boyfriend is just playing he is weird” I said forcing a smile “wait I’m ……” before he finished I shoved a fries in his mouth and said said “babe don’t play with the nice man anymore” I said giving him a look for him to shut up “well have a nice day and be careful didn't you kids hear that the Hindu is back” the cop said he was walking away I was sure we were on the safe path than he said “ wait y-y-y-you are the Hindu EVERYONE GET DOWN NOW IT’S THE HINDU GET DOWN NOW!!!!” the cop yelled than at that moment my twin came took control of my body than was about to attack than Sousuke jumped in front of the attack than my body stopped and I fell to the floor than my body started moving again it was about to attack, again Sousuke moved in front of me again than some words came out “ YOU BETTER MOVE NOW OR YOUR GOING WITH HIM” The voice said deeply and for some reason I was scared of it I was freighted, was this me?, was this what I’ve become?, no I won’t be this than at that moment it went back than I grabbed Sousuke by his hand than we ran out than that moment I looked back at him smiling he was just looking dumb “it would help if you ran to” I said smiling than he started smiling and started running too.

The next day we were snuggled together we both slowly opened our eyes and then we screamed as loud as we could. “W-w-w-w-w-w-w-what are you doing?!?!?” Sousuke said I jumped back than said “W-w-w-w-what are you doing ugh I knew I couldn’t trust you” I said than he gave me a look that said what are you talking about you can’t trust me I can’t trust you!! Than me and him started walking side to side, I looked at him than I saw he was blushing “your blushing” I said with a smirk I didn’t noticed I was blushing to. I kept thinking of how close we were I felt my heart pounding thud thud thud “don’t mistake me for yourself little missy” Sousuke shot right back at me. “You wish you could never get me to like you” I said with a huge smile. We stopped at a street than I saw something happen but it happen so quickly, I saw a cat get ran over by a car, and its guts were spilled all over the street, and it is still alive, poor little thing , i saw a little girl crying across the street, her mother she slapped the little girl and told her "get over it you spoiled little brat, i'll get you another cat ok", then the little girl she jumped in front of a car, her head was cut clean off her body, then her mother started laughing at her than walked away “why did she do that, what is wrong with this place?” I asked with a scared look on my face. “I don’t know this place is weird yet it’s very funny to watch people act mean and too many things happen to quickly it’s a sham I couldn’t see it” Sousuke said with a frown. “what you didn’t see it I saw it like if it was slowed down for me to see what happen” I said with a weird look on my face “what you did that’s awesome I wish I could of seen it!!!” Sousuke said jumping in the air. “Settle down, settle down” I said with an ignorant look on my face “fine you no fun” Sousuke said with a childish face while pouting. “let’s go now ok “I said while trying to get the sight of the horror I just witnessed than when I was trying to forget about what had happened I remembered how close I was to Sousuke I started shaking my head “no no no no “I thought “your falling for him I can see and feel what you feel don’t forget that now, I can’t blame you he is kind of cute and he is strong but I can still kill him easily.” The voice said “so where should we eat Sora” Sousuke said “what you’re hungry already” I said looking down “ha stupid boy’s gatta eat some times he just seems to be hungry more often” the voice said out loud “ha-ha so you chose to talk now eh” Sousuke said like nothing happen like if he has spoken to the Hindu before. “You have a problem with when I want to talk I can kill you right now if you want and the problem will go away and so will you that's the great part of it, both problems solved joy to me” Hindu said with a grin “no ma’am I have no problem!!” Sousuke said with a panicked face. “sorry to mess up your little chat but we have no time for that right now……”I said while stopping “why don’t we have time to talk eh” Sousuke said while continuing walking than he looked forward there was a pack of cops staring right at us than Hindu came out she ran forward running up to a cop she pulled out a Katana and cut one cops face in two “ ok I guess we earned at least to kill this pile right” Sousuke said while he snapped a cops neck he looked like a pro he raised his leg up and BAM he hit right in the back of a cops neck than he was punching cops and was dogging there every move laughing and they started shooting he dogged there bullets he had a huge smile on his face he kicked the gun out of a cops hand and smashed the cops face in the ground after that everything went black I woke up I was in a dark room I was on Sousuke my head was on his lap he was awake he was smiling looking around I guess he couldn’t see anything it felt nice ,my head on his lap I felt like if I was safe I felt as if I had nothing to worry about i didn’t want to leave his lap I just wanted to stay them a light went on in the room he looked down and scram I scram to we both jumped “why are we always so close?!?!?!?!” Sousuke said “I don’t know why you have a problem” I said “it’s not that I don’t like it because I do…………….” Sousuke said in a low voice but I was able to hear him “ oh so you do like that we are close “I said with a smirk “what no don’t be crazy” he said blushing “owwwwww how sweet , sorry I have to interrupt this touching moment” some guy said while walking out of the dark he looked about 15 years old he had jet black hair and he was wearing it in a emo style and he was wearing a v neck shirt and cargo shorts and converse I couldn’t see his eye color “what’s your problem” I said standing up “nothing I'm just wondering what you guys are doing here” he said “I thought it was an abandoned house that’s all” Sousuke said getting up to than he walked out of the room “so what’s your name” the guy said “Sora” I said “that’s a really nice name” he said while walking to me he put his hand out “I'm Adam” he said with a smile I started blushing” ha-ha your blushing, I know pretty girls always fall for me, I am irresistible” he said with a smile “so I'm pretty am I?” I said giving him Adam a smile and a look at the same time “no……….” Adam said trying to cover what he had said. “Ha-ha your blushing, I know I'm irresistible” I said coping what he had said but leaving out the pretty part. “having fun there” Adam said “not as fun as seeing your face when you called me pretty” I said while sticking my tongue out than Sousuke walked in the room “Sora lets go now ok” he said with a look saying I don’t like this guy “oh ok” I said with a smile “Sora is it ok if I tag along with you guys ok?” Adam said “so your ganna miss me that quickly” I said with a smirk “what no I just have nothing in mind that I need to do that’s all..” Adam said blushing and looking away I looked at Sousuke to conform his face said no I gave back a smile “yes you can” I said with a grin “what????” Sousuke said “no you can’t come along, I don’t want you to come” Sousuke scram at him “so you just want her all for yourself I see” Adam said with a smirk “what no” “ fine then we shouldn’t have a problem” I said looking at Sousuke “no I don't want him to come with us that's all” Sousuke said looking down “if you don’t want him to come than leave I can travel with Adam all by myself…..if you don’t have a problem with that” I said while shooting Sousuke a look “fine you can stay” Sousuke said pouting than I smiled “now let’s go” I said while walking out the door i followed with a smile “you coming?” I said to Adam while walking out the door still I had my smile.

We were walking down a street I looked at both sides of me on the right was Sousuke and on the left was Adam I saw that they were giving an evil stare at one another “so it’s a nice day right” I said trying to break the awkward silence “sure is” Sousuke and Adam said at the same time than the went back at giving each other an evil stare. I was not paying any attention to what was in front of me I just kept staring at them both I stepped on something and twisted my foot I fell to the floor than the both went down for me the both picked me up than the dropped me to yell at one another “would you guys stop fighting and help me?!?!?!” I yelled at them “sorry” they said and then they helped me up than we went to a doctor who did not recognized me “ ok at least your injury wasn’t too bad it should be fine in about 2 weeks until then you should try and let it rest do you have something to keep you from walking “yes I do” I said while looking at Adam and Sousuke “ that’s great let me see it so I can make sure it good for your injury” the doctor said “ that it right there Sousuke and Adam will carry me, right boys” I said while giving an evil look “yes” they both said quickly “I guess that’s fine than but just in case here take this ok” the doctor said while giving me crutches “thank you very much” I said while bowing “it’s no problem at all” the doctor said with a smile. “ok boys who is going to carry me” I said with a huge smile on my face “ ill carry you first” they both said “ no ill carry her “ the both said “ just someone carry me” I yelled “ ok I will Adam said “great” I said while he put me on his back “wow” Adam said “what?” I said “you must be heavy that’s why” Sousuke said teasing me “no your very light lighter than I expected” Adam said “why than you” I said with a smile “it’s no problem at all” Adam said with a grin as he looked at Sousuke at that moment Sousuke got mad “let’s go” Sousuke said walking out the door fast “oh how much is it?” I said to the doctor “oh no its fine you can go” the doctor said “really, oh thank you so much” I said with a smile “it’s no problem” the doctor said “ok bye” I said while Adam walked out the door with me on his back. “your being strangely quiet” I thought “well it’s not like I have much to talk about” the voice said in a little girls voice this time it was kinda scary though because I got use to the other voice. “ummm your talking different this time why?” I thought “well that's because this voice will help you better to focus or does this not suit your likings?” the voice said still in the little girls voice. “yea I kinda got use to the other one” I said making a weird face “ ok then I will change the voice” the voice said while going back to its original voice ,“watch out I can sense cops in the distance so get ready to fight” “ok and you know name is Sora right?” I thought “get ready to fight you guys” I said they both looked at me the smiled “ its about I got some action” Sousuke said the cops started running towards us with guns blazing and some had Katanas to the out of nowhere Adam starts kicking then when I looked closer I said he had blades that came out of is converse he was slicing the cops up one by one he had his hands in his pockets he looked like he could come out of and cartoon he looked awesome then we were finished it was a bloody mess there were corpse all over the place I was getting hungry from the sight of it. I heard a loud rumble I get kinda scared “ha-ha I guess I'm hungry” Sousuke said scratching his head smiling “ughh I don't think we have any more money” Adam said patting his pockets “ahhhh that's right I forgot about the money problem” I said while I hit my face against a wall. “Why won’t we look for a job around town?” Adam said smiling. “yeah... but who would want to hire a Hindu” I said “ well yea but you got me they'll say yes they can’t resist my charming personality” he said smiling “ha-ha don’t make me laugh if they want charming I’ll give them irresistibly hot” Sousuke said smile “and there off” I thought “oh yea I’ll make them faint.” Adam said “well ill make them go to a hospital because I'm so hot” Sousuke said “well.......” Adam stopped “well what ha-ha you can’t even say more” Sousuke said “No I'm so hot that Sora would even admit it” Adam said looking at me “ No Sora would admit that I'm hot not you” Sousuke said they both turned to me at the same time and said “ which is hotter Sora me right ?” they said staring at me “I’m not saying anything” I said while turning away “ see she said she wasn’t going to say anything because she doesn’t want to hurt your feelings because I’m hotter.” Adam said “as if she meant that for you.” Sousuke said “ok, ok enough let’s just find a job” I said fast so this would stop.

“it’s already dark out, let’s go to bed now ok Sora” Sousuke said “ for once I agree with the dumb-ass” Adam said “ no i'ma keep looking ok Adam and Sousuke you guys can go if you want” i said while I continued walking “well I’m not gonna leave you alone so I’ll go with” Adam said “yea I will to I won’t leave you alone with this creep” Sousuke said as he walked faster than Adam and him were racing trying to be in front of the of the other “ha-ha” I said while I ran up to them both and grabbed both of their hands and walking with them Sousuke's face just got red and Adam was looking the other way “ if you want me to let go just tell me” I said “ no, no its fine” the both said. Then we stopped in front of a place it looked creepy because it was small and looked so old it looked as if it was going to fall at any moment but I ignored it and knocked on the door “creeeeeeeeek” someone from inside said I found that weird “I knew you'd come you’re the one I’ve been waiting for you'll help me right?” a voice said it sounded like a girls voice “ ummm me?” I said “yes you, your Kyoto right or am I right?” the voice said “ummmm yes that me, how did you know?” I asked “I know everything I know you’re the Hindu but that doesn’t matter to me, I’ve been waiting for you, you'll help me right?” the voice said then I realized where were Sousuke and Adam????? I looked around me and Adam was gone and so was Sousuke “come in, come in” the voice said “ummmmm ok I guess” i said while I walked in the lights went on, there was a girl standing there she looked about 15 years of age she had red hair long that is and she had yellow eyes they were so beautiful. “Nice to meet you I'm Kyoto Sanchez” the girl said as she smiled. “Nice to meet you..... Well I guess I don't need to introduce myself.... anyway what did you need help with?” I said with a smile “well I’m pretty sure you’re not going to turn it down because you've tried 10 different places and were turned down one was working as a baker another handing out fliers another blacksmith and working as a Cheshire..... Shall I go on? Kyoto said looking at me “ha-ha no, no need for it” I said forcing a smile “anyway the job is to be my bodyguard your little lovers can come as well I’ll pay each of you $200 each per hour, well do you accept my offer?” Sora said looking at me with a gentle smile “well accept but I don't know about the other to, I don't even know where they are right now.” I said while I hit my hand against my face. “Oh you mean Sousuke and Adam right your lovers “Kyoto said smiling “there not my lovers so can you stop saying that.” I said looking annoyed “well they care deeply for you and so do you so I just thought.” Kyoto said, my face felt like I was burning “ your blushing” Kyoto said while laughing “n-n-n-n-no i-i-i-i'm just sick t-t-t-that's all” I said while a looked away quickly “well there in the inn were you guys stayed they got scared they will probably say they were tired just let them go, well we will start tomorrow oh and we’ll be moving a lot, ok” Kyoto said “so like a journey?” I said smiling “exactly like a journey” Kyoto said smiling “I don't trust this girl be careful around her ok”
“ok I will” I thought “well i'ma go ok so see you tomorrow?” I said while I walked out. “they will protect us from the bad guys right they wont harm us right?” Kyoto said to a glass ball “they wont hurt us but we have to hurt them, we have to get rid of the two boys that are always with the Hindu first with them gone we will be-able to get to the Hindu.” something said “yes your right get rid of the boys” Kyoto said. When I went to the inn I heard thing shuffle in the room the something drop I open the door and turned on the lights quickly “help” Adam and Sousuke said, they were crushed under the TV it took a while but they finely reached the hospital. The doctor came in the room he looked kind of young like 18 years old he was cute though emo styled hair red and black eyes the dropped coffee on his shirt “whoa that’s hot” he said while he took off his shirt I felt my face get red I quickly turned away “oh sorry I didn’t see you there I’ll put on a shirt” he said I heard him shuffling through draws and then he said “ I guess this will have to do, you can turn I swear I’m descent” while he giggled I turned around and he was wearing a muscle shirt and he gave it the meaning of muscle. Out of nowhere he rushed to me “you’re not sick but your face is red, do you feel any pain and/ or symptoms of any kind?” He said with his forehead on mine “No, I’m not” I said as I felt my face turning ruby red. “Ha-ha I’m just kidding I know my patients are two males” he said giggling but still managing to keep a mature image for himself. “r-right” I said still red I turned to see Adam and Sousuke with an angry face trying to look the other way. So you guys fell under a TV?” “Yeah so you got a problem with it if you do I can help you wipe that smile off you face.” Adam yelled “now, now what’s that about oh are you jealous?” Said the man “WHAT?!?! ME JEALOUS don’t make me laugh” Adam yelled at that moment the man did something to Adam “ahh what the hell was that for?!” Adam yelled in pain “get up your good now” the man said “what are you talking about?” Adam said “just do it” when he said this Adam got up. “But I feel fine…” Adam said while moving his arms and legs “do me next” Sousuke said anxiously the man did the same to Sousuke the Sousuke got up and hugged me “ahh” I yelled a bit “s-sorry” Sousuke said while he jumped back and turned red “ hey your traveling right?” the man said “yes” I answered “ mind if I travel with you guys I can be some help” the man said “sure but I don’t even know your name” I said “oh that’s right I’m Soro similar to yours Sora” Soro said to me “ I don’t remember giving you my name” I said suspicious “now that’s my secret Isabella” he whispered to me and winked “hey, hey what’s going on here ?!?” Sousuke and Adam yelled “just sealing our love.” Soro said smiling and giving a wink. “what is this true Sora?!?!” they both yelled at me “ no not at all I promise!” I answered “awww don’t deny our love Sora” Soro said as he put his finger on my chin and came closer to me “ back off Soro !” Sousuke yelled while he pushed him away from me, here we go more drama just my luck.



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This book has 4 comments.


on Nov. 1 2013 at 6:45 pm
No problem :) I hope it's going well!

A-Chan said...
on Nov. 1 2013 at 3:45 pm
A-Chan, Las Vegas, Nevada
0 articles 0 photos 3 comments
 Thanks alot :)

on Oct. 7 2013 at 8:44 pm
Hi, A-Chan! I read this and I think it is a great idea and it is good for a first novel. The only thing I see wrong with it is that you need to make paragraphs, which lets us know we can take a breath. Otherwise we get confused and we're not sure where the pauses should be. If someone speaks, the next person to speak should be in the next paragraph. I'm not good at explaining this :P but if you look at some published novels you'll understand better. Use their form as a guideline and your writing will improve. <3 Just fix that and keep writing this story! Best of luck. ^_^

A-Chan said...
on Sep. 18 2013 at 9:56 am
A-Chan, Las Vegas, Nevada
0 articles 0 photos 3 comments
should i add more this is my first novel it might not be any good