Yellow is my favorite color

May 30, 2018
By lexiejones18 BRONZE, Rancho Palos Verdes, California
lexiejones18 BRONZE, Rancho Palos Verdes, California
1 article 0 photos 0 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Though she be but little, she is fierce."


For most of my life, I have been other people. A thirteen year old girl who commits suicide for her star-crossed lover in Verona, a hungry little girl in a flowing red cape who skips through the forest looking for her grandmother’s house, a peasant girl who falls in love with a beast in an enchanted world. As an actor, I did my growing up by listening to and learning from the lessons I taught onstage. From Wendy Darling, I learned how important my curiosity is. From Belle, I learned the vitality in forgiveness. From Little Red Riding Hood, I acquired caution towards the dark sides in humanity. And from Juliet, I learned of raw, unrestrained passion- the kind that can only be felt, not mimicked. With every character I developed- every song, dance, and teary-eyed monologue- I held what their stories gave to me with the highest regard, heeding to the mistakes they made and taking joy in their victories. Day in and day out, I went from costume to costume, script to script. I spent thirty hours in the theatre a week changing my voice, my face, my clothes, and my persona into someone else's. Soon, I began to realize that by spending all my time morphing into different people, I had neglected myself. By the time I turned fourteen, I was a shell, the hollow framework of a girl who could write you three paragraphs on Shakespeare’s subtle use of sonnet in Act 1 Scene 5 of Romeo and Juliet in ten minutes but didn’t know her own favorite color. I got lost in a sea of the same black leggings every girl in my hometown wore year round, and started drowning somewhere pounds deep in foundation I was too afraid to take off at night because I wasn’t sure who the girl under it was anymore.

Frustrated, I started to fill my time with any and every life experience I could, from finding punk shows in LA garages to taking spontaneous mountain road trips with my friends. I jumped at every opportunity to climb buildings, write, and redecorate my room until it finally felt like a home. I bought a camera, and lugged it around in an acid-washed denim nineties backpack across the state, and then past that. I spent hours and hours finding music that I decided shaped me, I started drawing, I threw out every pair of black leggings I had and replaced them with piles of thrift shop denim. Eventually, I took a pound or two off of the makeup I plastered onto my face day after day. And somehow, I landed here, no longer the shoddy outline of half of a person, but a woman- sure in what I believe in, and sure of what I don’t. Somewhere in between music festivals and day trips to Chinatown, I found the other side of who I am supposed to be. I realized I hate EDM, I’m funny when I’m nervous, and I make great quesadillas. I know I love Childish Gambino, I still get scared of the dark, and I cry really easily over those sad dog commercials with “In the Arms of an Angel” in the background. I adore my light pink high-tops, I could sit around in my room with a cute coffee mug and a Pablo Neruda poem for hours, and now I can say (with full confidence)-my favorite color is yellow.


The author's comments:

As my first Teen Ink post, I wanted to share something I wrote while atteempting self dicovery this semester. Though it might not be relevant to anyone else, this time of reflection in my life served as monumental to the kind of person I am and the kind of person I now aspire to be and what better way to start out as a writer than to start out as an honest one :) 


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This article has 1 comment.


on Jun. 20 at 11:46 am
Christi_Line GOLD, American Fork, Utah
13 articles 2 photos 7 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I don't make mistakes, I just make really sloppy successes." - me

I really liked this. I'm not a theater person myself, but I understand this in a way I didn't think I would. You are talented, my friend. :)


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