March 26, 2018

Fear came into my house at an early age. My father was deployed to Iraq 3 times and in those 3 different times I had to grow up and help my mother around the house with my 3 other siblings. I am the oldest (or was until we adopted my oldest brother) of 4 children. I got to go through everything first. It was a mess. When my father was gone my mother and I didn’t really get along well and we still don’t. I was always scared that he would not come home. He would send me flowers on my birthday, because he was not there, and I just felt...alone.


When my dad was medically discharged honorably from the military it was a huge change. He was always home. I knew where he was and I no longer had to worry,but I did. My mother and I began to get more and more frustrated with each other and that is still happening today. I worried about all of the little things such as Were we on time for school?, Was my room clean?, What did i get on that test?, Did I fail? Fear consumed my life. I began to start dating and I suppose it was because I felt a hole in my chest for some reason and I was trying to fill it with anything and anyone.

 As I constantly got my heart broken I became more fearful and I pushed people away. I grew up in a christian home and always knew the word of God, but never really wanted it in my live I suppose. My life was slowly going down hill. I looked left and saw a dead-end, I looked right and saw a dead-end. The only way I could go was straight, and that lead me to where I am today. Somehow God has lead me to a couple of some amazing people who have helped me gain who I really am.

My boyfriend I have known since I was 8 years old. He was always the christian boy, he went to church, and  he went to a christian school. When we had to move I lost contact until I was 13 years old. We have been talking ever since and we have been courting for 8 months now. Yes, I did say courting. We do not date in my house because we value purity and respect. Putting ourselves in situations we do not need to be in is one of the reasons so many teenagers are in troubled places they are in today, but my boyfriend has been my #1 fan and has been helping me through so much that I am dealing with and  helping me make my life right and go where I want it to go instead of where the world wants it to go.

 So as I walk this path of Fearlessness I encourage you to walk with me. It will not be easy and you will read more and more about my struggles as this was only a tiny bit of what I have to say. I want to end this with a challenge: make a list of your fears. My goal in this segment is to allow you to feel the power and the purpose you are set out for. you are someone who is wanted and loved.

We will continue from there tomorrow.
                                 Matthew 6:34
"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about it's self. Each day has enough trouble of it's own."

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