Some of you may think I am crazy. But really and truly there is a demon inside of me. Constantly telling me I'm not good enough, keeping me up at night crying over the tiniest things. He follows me everywhere. He tells me I don't deserve what I have. He makes me cry at the worst times. He pushes me to the edge and then drags me back so he can do it again. He attacks me randomly. Suddenly I can't breathe, I feel nauseas and I can't stop shaking. I gave him a name. Deppresion. His twin brother is Anxiety. Together they make my life miserable. But everyday I put on a disguise. I happy teenage girl who no one would ever suspect to be dying slowly inside. Together they force me to believe my friends suicide was my fault. Together they force me to believe I may cause my other friends to die to. Sometimes they make me feel scared. I am sitting in class and suddenly I can't think. I don't finish my work. My grades go down. I get in trouble which just feeds these evil creatures. They keep me from doing things I love. Or standing up to someone who hurt me. And now they have pushed me to the point where panic attacks are pretty much daily. 3 years they have grow. Now they are to the point wherethey are to big to kill. My demons may not be materialized but they are definitly there. Living in my head for eternity.
The Demon Inside Me
March 17, 2018