Hi my name is Paige and this is a true story about something that happened in my life that involves the youtube star Jackseptieye. I hope you enjoy!Chapter 1: Jacksepticeye
Only HE understands. Only HE can make me feel a certain way that no one else can. But...Why?
It's been happening ever since I found his channel. His videos put positive thoughts into my head like no one else could. His voice was calm and safe, yet, deep and seductive. Like, he can get any girl he wished. I was a fan girl, I was his follower. He didn't know me, but I knew him.
His name is Sean McLoughlin. Also known for his youtube channel, Jacksepticeye. I have watched so many of his videos that, I've lost count. I so wanted to meet him, to see him in person, to show him who I am and how much and how he has changed my life. Alas, I lived in New Zealand. I wasn't allowed to travel. I hated my home. I wanted to move away.
My life was a mess. But, I learned to grit my teeth and bear with it ever since I was four years old. I'm 15 now, and still doing the same old thing. Everyday I wake up, go to school where I was always bullied. I tried to not let it show, but, I was weak. I was always told by everyone to kill myself, that, I was a mistake, that I am a waste of air. At first it didn't bother me, but as I grew up it only got worse. Most nights I would cry myself to sleep. But, through all of my hard times, those times where I had nothing of me left, I would remember his voice, his, sweet, kind words would fill my head. I was determined to push through life. At home I would resort to my room to watch Sean's videos. I always laughed at them, watching those videos filled me with something. I don't know what it was but it kept me going every day. Each morning before school I would sit down and watch his videos to make me feel happy, positive. But as soon as I went to school I was a fake. Fake smiles, fake happiness, fake everything. I was physically bullied by my own brother, who thinks it's funny to beat me up for his own personal gain, while I am left, covered in bruises while people just watch me, not even coming to help me. After that I lost all hope. I ened up with depression and anxity which made me insane. I always thought how easy it would be to kill myself. I thought cause no one cared about me anyway that it wouldn't matter if I commited suicide or not.
But something stopped me. It was HIM! It was as if Sean was here, his words of encouragment. He never failed me. He never let me down. Even though it was through a screen I felt a connection to him.
I am part of his 18 million subscribers and I am proud of it. Sean's videos kept me from killing myself, his words are calm and kind. Caring and safe.
For those who don't know me, my name is Paige. 1 of millions of people that have depression or anxity. None of this is a joke, there are days where I feel lost, alone, abandoned, hated, threatened. But Sean helped me. Without him even knowing it. He saved me. Without him, I would have probably killed myself years ago. So I give my life to Sean.
This is a true story so please warnings are that it is sad and if you are sensitive like me it might be best not to read unless you are looking for something sad, read at your own risk.