Oh how I dread the day you will say “I feel nothing I am numb I see and feel no sparks… I.. I think we should see other people”. Well you got that right I fell for you, you made me like you. I knew I was not into you but your charm and of devilish good looks made up for that. You told me you liked me you even made sure I was single and not seeing that other guy. You took something from me that I will never ever get back in this life, I will always remember you for that and how you just tethered my heart. I knew this was wrong from the start I would have wished this had went a different path because I see you are into another girl, and that’s ok because between me and you, you were my cover up and I knew I was your cover up after a bad break up. Well sorry to curb stomp you sweaty but you were never my type. Yes you were athletic and yes you had a heavenly body, but I fell in love with your physic and strong look on life. But I knew you were in the drugs and I did my first drug with you and not with my best friend. I most definitely knew you were a loose screw that could be only be tamed with some common sense but you are cocky and full of it. I’m probably not on your mind anymore but who knows I might… I might be that one you were stupid enough to let go just like that. I still remember our first and last kiss. I was stupid and arrogant just like you. Oh you want me to say sorry?? Well tough luck my dude I’m not just someone you can forget about I am a varsity cheerleader and a varsity lacrosse player too and I can run you round and round. Don’t EVER think for a second that when I go to college I’ll remember you. If you come up to me and say “ Hi” I will just turn around and play it dumb, just you wait… you will get you fair share sorry this came to me early in life but I know what I want to do with my life and I know I don’t want to waste this wonderful and fulfilling life on you or your drugs. I know better but I gave in… No I don't regret it in fact I really don’t care because at that point I was numb my feeling for you were already gone but that signal didn’t tell my brain it told my heart when it was on its way out. I hope you read this and I hope I cross your mind once in a while. I hope you ever wonder “ hey whatever happened to that beautiful girl I was stupid enough to let go, can I find her and rekindle our love?”. If answered no to the any following questions, then you will understand my hurt and feeling for this boy who “stole” my heart because he sure didn’t care and he threw it like a pitcher it was fast and it was curved and I was the batter just trying to have a “homerun” with you, obviously I struck out and that’s what costed me the game and the other team won 30-0.
I Knew Better
February 8, 2018