Why is it whenever we try our best, it’s never good enough to please anyone. We look at someone and we never see the emotion behind the true person in the inside. We think that he or she is alright and that we can just talk with somebody. What if talking is just never enough to please anybody? We all have a point where we can’t cross but when we do cross that line, where does it lead any of us to? For once, I wanna wake up in the morning and not feel sad. I always wish that life could be different, but that is a wish and I know it’s never going to happen. I act like everything is okay, but really it’s not. I put a mask to show everyone that I am good and that I am just the happiest person on earth. But does anyone check to see if I am really alright. There are points where we feel used, worthless and points where there are no places to go . We hide the truth so that we do not need have to feel the pain that we constantly feel every single day. We ask ourselves what about me? Who will come to realize my pain? We help others to make them feel better, to see your pain but when do any of us ever have it in ourselves to ask the other person if they are alright to see if they need our help! There are people in this world that need our love and to show them that they are good enough but I never see any of those sort of people around. I know few people who see my pain and have been through my pain and can relate to it. They show me ways to feel past all the hurt that I deal with at home. People who don’t ever see this pain end up committing suicide because no one understands that teens go through this sort of problem. Schools talk about suicide, but they don’t necessarily know how it feels to go through that pain if they have never done it themselves. People who actually go through this pain, do not appreciate any one talking about it, if they never been through it on their own, We need to know there are people that a far from okay and we need to show them that we are here if there are others that cannot be. We never see the broken scars that we cause people to have. We never ask ourselves are they really okay? When do we ever make it in ourselves to see if we can understand the things that people go through! I am so sick of crying and feeling like I am just not good enough.
We need to make an effort to understand the real emotion behind the mask. Instead of ignoring it and pretending like you're fine. You do not need to hold your emotions to feel better because holding them in makes it worse. The more you hold in your emotions, the more it will hurt like hell in the future. When we finally hit that point where we can hold it in, all the emotions you held in will show and you will cry and feel all the hurt that has been caused. Never hold in the emotions, let it out as much as you possibly can. Today, I try my best to care less every day because I feel caring just makes me weak. We don’t need to be fixed because we aren’t broken we are who we are and you can’t change that. Stop trying to live up to the definition of perfect because it’s never going to exist. We choose to be the bigger person and decide whether to let our anger or any sort of emotion go but it’s official you will hate everything that you had inside of you or anyone who caused the pain you had to deal with. I have never felt so alone in my entire life. I still feel this way. We can’t escape grief, we can never escape the pain we feel. It always comes straight back to us. We all just want all of our pain and grief to be gone. If only, we could take the pain away. If only, we could run away from our problems. If only, pain never existed. Sadly, it does exist and it is normal to feel occasionally. You wanna know how we feel, some people ask you to “express” your feelings but they don’t mean your actual feelings they mean the feelings they want you to feel because people can’t deal with dark or scary. They want you to smile and say “Yeah i’m fine, everything’s great” so they can go on back to their normal life and never think of you again. You want us to be normal, but we are never going to be normal and people need to deal with that. If we aren’t okay, then ask us what is going on rather than just letting that person go through it on her or his own. We usually shut the people out that care about us, that can makes us really lonely but some of us are just really scared to open up about our problems. So you need to show people that you will be there and won’t walk away. We need to help others, because you never know the person who is the most damaged is the one helping you with everything. For the last time, I’VE HAD ENOUGH.