As I sit here and think to myself, why? Why me? Why is it that every time something good happens, there’s always that villian in the story. Like today. A boy that I thought was different than all the others, turned out to be just like them. I though I could trust him. Oh, how I was wrong. I don’t feel hurt, I just feel broken. I can feel the tears pushing at the back of my eyes… begging to be set free. I can hear my heart slowly crumbling into my stomach. I wish I was as confident as most girls. I can’t be confident because people have knocked me down so much… that I can’t get back up. I wish that I didn’t need some guy to make me feel pretty. I want to be able to see a queen when I look in the mirror, but all I see is a monster. I need someone to tell me I’m beautiful. I wish I didn’t need some guy to make me feel wanted. I just need confidence. Sadly, that’s something I don’t have. I feel like I have to buy confidence. At first, he had me wrapped around his finger. I was feeling pretty confident then. After that everything started to go downhill. As soon as he sent me that text saying “We can still be friends,” I knew it was over. One half of me wanted to make him feel the pain I was feeling. The other half just wanted crawl under the covers and cry. Just cry until I couldn’t make anymore tears. I don’t want anyone in my family to know that I’m weak, because they’re all as tough as nails. I put on a smile just for them. If they ask me what’s wrong I’ll just make up some fake illness excuse. I just can’t bring myself to tell them the truth. So I guess no one will truly know my pain. I just really wanna know, why?
Why Does This Happen to Me?
November 22, 2017