I didn’t know the importance of family until I hit rock bottom I was like a bouncy ball but I didn’t bounce back. My school was a place where things could travel quicker than the speed of light. You tell someone something today, everyone in your grade will know by tomorrow, and in a week everyone in your school will know. Especially when it came to the popular kids that I didn’t really know what I was doing. Mainly because I was stuck up about things and really stubborn. My life was pretty much a mess. I had dance for about 9 hours and math class for 4 hours a week. Also, school 5 days a week. Which I think now is going to be the death of me. One day, I went to school thinking okay, I’m going to at least try to have a good day. I’ve had many problems at school but never like this. It was like I was punched in the face for doing nothing. Not literally though. I’m not really sure why but I was a person who knew how to take jokes, but I took insults seriously. I never let go of things people say to me. Trust me, I will hold them accountable for what they say or said. Anyway, it was a typical Tuesday, I went through the first four periods of the day like I usually would. I made the decision of eating lunch with my friend. As soon as I sat down I knew I made a mistake. I saw these girls. I’ve had a terrible past with the 3 out of 4 of the,m. They replaced me with the 4th one. I don’t really mind. I wasn’t really surprised either honestly. So, I sat down on the opposite end of where they were sitting. I had the urge to look at them, but forced myself not to. I turned toward my friend to talk to her, out of the corner of my eye I saw two of them laughing and rolling their eyes at me.
I nudged at my friend who I was “talking to” and she looked over and said,” I think they’re going to roll their eyes to the back of their head.”
I laughed. She always knew how to cheer me up even when I felt worthless. One of those girls, that was rolling there eyes at me, was a person I’ve never met before. I was so confused at why they were rolling their eyes, or laughing at me. I wanted to just yell at them and tell them I have eyes and ears and I’m not stupid. But everyone was there and I didn’t want to embarrass myself so I kept quiet, but they kept doing it and it really annoyed me. Eventually, I walked over to a pole and leaned against it so that I wasn’t facing them. But I could still feel them talking about me. Then one of them came over. She was fine, I wasn’t mad at her or anything. It was just the two of them, but we talked, and we talked. Nothing big really, just some stuff about dance. The other three eventually came over and started talking, as soon as they did though, I turned around and from the back of my head I could feel them talking about me.
I didn’t feel comfortable with them around me so I walked to a different pole and leaned against it hoping they wouldn’t follow me. My friends confronted me and asked me if I was okay.
As soon as I started to tell them what was wrong, two of them walked over. I immediately changed the subject and came up with some stupid story. I said something about being bullied in first grade and then my friend said,” Why would anyone be mean to you? You’re so nice.”
Then the two of them that walked over turned and started laughing out loud. At that very moment I wanted to burst into tears. I kept asking myself the same questions over and over again, what did i do wrong and why? I was so mad, but I didn’t know why I was mad. I had so many emotions in me, one moment I wanted to cry, one moment I was so mad, and one moment I felt guilty for doing nothing, Some people say it’s what you expect from a moody teenager. I ended up running away from them and sitting with my friend. I’ve only known this person from P.E. She was understanding. She knew what I was going through. She was the only one who cared. After 5 & 6th period, I was confronted by the same boy multiple times asking me questions, that I refused to answer.
He kept asking questions like,” Are you mad at someone? Who are you mad at?”
All I responded with is,” Yes, and I’m not going to tell you.”
Everytime me and someone else got into a fight, I feel like I have to be the one that takes the action. I have to be the one to apologize for doing nothing. The person blaming me never has to apologize to me. It always made me so mad. But then again, if I didn’t do anything, nothing was going to happen, and frankly no one’s going to apologize. After school, I talked on the phone with my friend who cared about me for more than a hour. I didn’t know want to do.
Couple of days later, one of the girls that I was fine with one of the girls, so I talked to her and told her my side of the story. I asked her to talk to the two girls who were rolling their eyes at me and laughing and tell them what was going on. One of them didn’t believe anything I said according to my friend. The other said I looked like I was mad. They also said I was mad at them and in my head I was thinking,”What if I was just having a bad day?”
I guess some people just don’t understand.