I remember the day that I became an eggshell. A weak girl, breakable and small, yearning to become stone. I still remember tumbling into a void. Nothingness surrounding me, cold and empty, like a room forever closed off from the sun. My head, a place filled with shivering thoughts, deterred me from the thrilling ride that was my life.

Betrayal lurked through me. My body, a locked box filled with secrets, a place I thought was safe, had finally left me to rot. It fooled me for years, and when I needed it the most, my body turned it’s back on me. I remember the day that I became an eggshell, a crippled creature.

Throughout all my years nothing had hit me so hard. The doctor says it’s a process, with strict physical therapy and strength I will be back in the water in no time. But I know what’s really wrong.

Forced against my will, I am told to be careful. They treat me like glass, so that is what I have become. The strong girl that once was, is now gone, replaced with a powerless doppleganger. Gripping my arm, the pain brings me back to reality.

This is the day I started running, my breath caught by a net. I ran without stopping, without looking back at the past, but instead looking forward to the future ahead. I pushed myself to the limits determined to get my life back. I halted. Heart racing, blood pumping, I thought long and hard. No more did I feel as if I was I falling through a void. No more did I feel weak.

For the first time since the injury, I felt strong and unbreakable. People would look at me with that fake look of understanding, but I knew that they understood nothing. I had found a solution. The surgery and recovery was not simple, it would take time and patience, but I finally had hope. The emptiness that once consumed me had now left as I emerged from the room that was closed off from the sun.

Confidence surging, I stepped outside and soaked in the light. For today, I was reborn. I would no longer step behind the shadow of doubt that had surrounded me. I would no longer accept the fact that I had become an eggshell. No. I would rise above the slivers of hesitation and block out the hurtful criticism. I was tired of being an eggshell. Strength swirling inside of me, a rageful storm, growing with every second.

The day that I became an eggshell everyone told me words of encouragement, but nobody actually knew how I felt. I was told that I would get better. What they didn’t realize is how hard it was affecting me. I was drowning in the sorrow of the things I was missing. Always having to be careful of the fact that I could crack.

I still remember being shut off from the world, from light, in an empty room filled with sorrow and regret. I stayed, crouching in a corner filled with webs, fear lunging towards me… I had suddenly understood the meaning of being trapped inside my own head, but I refused to let this fact control me. I fought, drowned, resurfaced, kicked, punched, was strong, was weak, and at the end of the day I won.

Now, today, I have beat my demons. I am no longer afraid of the eggshell that I have become. I might be a little fragile, but on the inside I am strong. I have become a wall, blocking out even a sliver of doubt. I have risen like a bird on its first flight, holding onto the hope that everything will be alright. I know now that even if I crack, I won’t break.