I wish I could say that you didn’t destroy me. I wish it was true that you leaving was bearable. But it wasn’t. Not for a second. And I don't know how to feel this. I don't ever want to ever feel this.

I believed you when you said it was me and you against the world, when you said it was me you wanted by your side, when you said it was me that you loved, and that you will always love me. I believed you when you said it was me.

But it wasn’t me.

I swear it was though. It had to be. I saw it. In your eyes. When you looked at me. When we sang. When we talked. When we laughed. All the time we spent learning about each other. And growing together. All of the phone calls. All of the breaking and fixing. All of the songs we adopted.

I can’t listen to them now.

And I know you love me. But I thought it was a different kind of love. I thought it was the kind of love that doesn't end. I thought it was the kind of love that would unite us together forever.

What hurts the most is that you made me love you. With your stupid smile and every little thing you did to make sure that I could never love anyone else.

But you.