Today was the day it actually happened. My mom passed away, we all knew it would happen we just didn’t know today was the day. Most of us were prepared like me but it just happened. It felt like a wall just hit me and I was stuck there in the moment in shock while everyone else is moving around, but time froze for me. Then all at once I came back into reality and I realized what happen. Then I cried, but only once.

My mom passed away from breast cancer. I stayed in the hospital room until they came to pick up her body. I didn’t know what to do. Everyone kept asking if I was okay. I wasn’t. I should have said that I wasn’t, but I said I was fine.
        

The next day was worse. It actually came into reality that she was gone and I just sat there thinking of all the things I should have done that I could have said. Everyone else around had the same facial expression. Some people, like my dad, try to continue their daily life, but they can’t because it would mostly contain my mom in their life. His daily life was to take care of my mom, but now he doesn’t have anything to take care of; no person to hold.
        

The days kept getting worse and then it turned into weeks. We had to clean my mom’s stuff out. Since I was the girl I made every last call for things. I just wanted to hold onto everything but I knew I couldn’t. When I had to go through her jewelry everyone said some of it was junk but in my eyes everything wasn’t junk, it was my mom.
        

It came into funeral planning and of course I knew everyone while my brothers didn’t so I was leading the funeral. What fourteen year old leads their mom’s funeral? When that ended we went to go spread her ashes up in the mountains and at the beach. Then it was time for me to leave again.
     

I got on the plane, leaving everyone behind to go continue my life. I didn’t want to but I had to. Whenever I wake up in the morning it hits me all over again that I don’t have my mom.