Dear future self,

Shuffling my feet in the lunch line, I stick my hands in my back pockets and roll my eyes at the ceiling. My God, if people would just grab a tray and go. Muttering under my breath, I stare at the clock and I feel the stress and tension build in me; it’s been there for quite some time now. My grades are disastrous, I quit my job, I’m off of my school’s spirit team, I didn’t make it to State in the regional DECA competition—the list goes on and on; life is sliding me down its precipitous hill. These days, the littlest things tick me off. Grinding my teeth, I finally reach the end of the line and I drag myself to the cashier to pay.

“I promise I’ll bring the money tomorrow…please, just this one time. No, I don’t have any spare cash on me right now,” pleads the boy ahead of me.

I don’t know why I did what I decided to do right then and there. Maybe it was because he was holding up the line, maybe I just wanted the “theatrics” to end. I don’t know.

“Excuse me madam, but I’d like to pay for his lunch through my account, if I may.” Those cluttering around me turned to gape at me—shocked. I was too. Those words just leapt out of my mouth as if they had a mind of their own. What happened next was just as unexpected and blew me away entirely. His eyes as large as saucers, gleaming with embarrassed joy, blinked up at me with a silent “thank you”. Setting his tray down, he wrapped his arms around me and said, “You don’t know how much I appreciate your kind action.” Etching those few words into my heart, he then turned and walked away, leaving me absolutely stunned albeit glowing.

His strange yet thoughtful words and gesture hit me like a two-by-four. I had been living life selfishly and ignorantly. That day, for the first time in a long time, I opened my eyes and learned something unforgettably important. The simple pleasures that life has to offer us are often closer than we imagine. In this world, I can’t change much. I can’t bend my parents to fit my wishes and I can’t force those girls into being my friends, but I can change myself. There are so many things I’m afraid of right now. Learning to drive, experiencing new places alone, and the new high school semester in front of me, just to name a few. I hope that when this letter finds you, you will have possessed deep compassion for yourself and others, knowing what you can and can’t change, discovering the path to happiness and challenging your fears. I’m starting that journey today. Future self, it’s taken me 15 years to realize this but now I understand: thinking with your heart is just as important as thinking with your head.

Sincerely,

Present self