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I Am Not Afraid of it Anymore

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I am a simple seventeen year old girl who likes to write, read books, photograph, watch cricket and play soccer. Yes, I am a bit of nerd and often bury my head beneath a pile of books. I am an introvert and do not make friends that quickly as other people do. I am not popular like all the other girls of my school. I am not considered pretty with the big nose that most people point out every time. I have pimples on my face and am rather short in height probably 5”2 ft. I wear braces and spectacles. I do not have a boyfriend neither have had a secret admirer in my life. But I don’t understand the real reason why people pin point me, snigger behind my back, make fun of my looks and my habits, bully me excessively to the point of putting me into serious depression. During lunch break I often sit in washroom or library so that no one notices me and starts making fun of me. I was a happy child once, contended in my life fearing no one anywhere and having the confidence to talk to strangers.

I was unconcerned about my looks, about my clothes and about myself overall. I was satisfied, but this was before I was a teenager. Everything transformed when people grew up into young adults. Now it all mattered on who was more popular, who was more beautiful and who had many boys falling head over heels in love with. I transformed too from a happy go lucky and a jolly person to a lonely teenager who could never really understand why her former friends shunned her too. My confidence level fell and I couldn’t even speak up in class to give an answer. Gradually my grades fell apart from being an ugly duckling, I was termed dumb too.

My parents suspected my changed behaviour, tried to talk to me but I just couldn’t explain them anything. Unable to make me open up they took me to a therapist for weekly sessions. Slowly but gradually I began to open up to her and I remember after every therapy session I felt better and thought a great burden from me had been released. I slowly started regaining confidence, started doing things I liked like playing soccer and photographing and writing. I started making friends too and for the bullies well I learnt to stand up. I didn’t care whether they said I was ugly or short because I knew I was pretty. I didn’t care whether they said any names to me because I knew I was much better. I didn’t fight them with actions or words but I fought them by simply ignoring what they said. That was their true real defeat. I attended school parties; I went to school concerts, stood up for student council elections and did things that I didn’t do before in fear of what people would say when they saw me. I became the same girl that I was before when I was a teenager except the fact that now I was more ambitious and determined to face any hardships. My parents and my therapist greatly made it possible for me to stand up once again and face the world.

I am able to say it now that I was once a victim of Bullying but I am not afraid of it anymore. And I would like to add a final message for all those who are bullied stand up for yourself, don’t let anyone change you or influence you because you are the best in every possible way. Like H.G Wells said, “If you fell down yesterday, stand up today”.

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GabbiRenee said...
Jan. 1 at 10:41 pm
Beautiful writing. I, too, am going through bullying right now. I eat lunch in the chorus room at school. Your writing showed me that things get better. Thank you for writing this.
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