The realization hit me like a bullet, tearing through me emotions and leaving my head feeling light. I ceased my pacing and collapsed in gracefully to the ground, drawing my legs to my chest. I… liked Torrey. I had feelings for Torrey. I thought of Torrey as more than a friend. I repeated the sentiment over and over as its veracity grew. I couldn’t deny it any longer, and, frankly, I didn’t want to.

Torrey had feelings for me, and I returned them.

Letting go of everything else for a moment, I sank deeper and deeper into the feeling. I felt light and warm and safe. Like despite everything, despite the future and the past, the darkness within me and the blood in my veins, I was happy. It was a bubbly, shining feeling that brought me almost to tears.

Images surged through my head. Torrey making me laugh, Torrey holding my hand, Torrey kissing me and whispering into my ear that no matter what, it was going to be okay. My heart clenched with a warm, aching feeling that told me I needed him, that I needed those images to be real. Being with him was easy, and it was right.