My life is mapped out on pages telling me exactly where to go,
Exactly who to be

I’d say we’re all free,but, we’re only as free as our minds tell us

I’d like to figure out the real reason everything is so ugly, but so beautiful
Some things are much more favorable to see in the dark

I’ll tip my hat to the person who says perfection does not exist,
I’ll turn my back on people who say love is as real as the way the sun illuminates the moon from behind,
so maybe when I turn around I’ll believe in love like they do

I’m determined to find out the real reason people walk off with other people’s souls chained to their belt loops

I want to know the real reason people stay

I’d like to know how each person fits together with the next, like variables in a math problem that solve into cleanly whole numbers

I want to know how people stay whole,
and how people are holy

I’m tempted to ask the reason behind rules and regulations that make my eyes blur from reading those clean white pages telling me what to do

I want to know why you stay
I want to know why you go

I’d like to ask the real reason you fall asleep, or try to but stay up thinking about each thing you regret and running out of fingers to count on because the list is too long

And when you take too long counting, sometimes it’s hard to remember the good things

I’d like to ask someone to tell me about the last time they felt nostalgic, and hope it doesn't lead to hostility

I want to ask about the reason behind everyone wanting to feel so large
I at least know the answer to this, though
Because small things have a higher chance of being forgotten

I want to know why boys kiss girls with ashy lips and spiky high heels
This too, I've heard the answer
Because sex appeal is more important than being smart or wanting something so bad you marry your dreams

I want to know the reason behind bad decisions, or why people feel the great importance of always being right

Some people do things because they can

Most of the time I do things because I have to

Do you want to know why I laugh?
I never really know what I’m doing
I laugh when I’m sad

It’s harder to deal with tears when you know they’re every bad thing you've ever done rolling down your cheek, and when they fall to the ground I like to think they disappear

But I know better
I know science
I know the concept of evaporation

Everyone is catching my regrets in their hollows and don’t even know it and when I look in the mirror and look at my hollows,I’m aware that I've caught other people’s regrets in mine
Then I feel responsible for their actions and I want to know them

I treat my body like feelings
I treat it like how the ground and trees and moon and sun should be treated

But then I’ll ask about the correct way to reach divinity
And some people will say you should starve yourself until you’re skin and bones
That’s when it’s all supposed to make sense, they say, “I want to see your collar bones and your rib cage under your skin,” they say,
"It’s not okay to be curvy," they say,
"You’re only pretty when your cheeks are hollowed out,"
And that’ll be one more place where people’s regrets go

I’ll ask about the point of punctuation marks because no one ever pauses for periods or commas in real life

They don’t matter enough I guess

I’ll ask why there are those who bring out the best in others
And those who bring out the worst

Or why people say there’s nothing wrong when there is
Or why people let things come out of their mouths that warp and sound like love
Or when they say sorry when they’re not
Like,
I’ll stay when they mean goodbye
Like,
hello when they mean to leave

I don’t think about this as often as I should but
I can tell you what feeling feels like even though I don’t know what to call it sometimes
I can tell you about growing up

But besides this

Last but not least, I’d like to ask what kind of purpose each person thinks they have here
The real reason why I know you
Why I know anyone
What’s your main purpose?
And that’s the one thing I don’t think anyone knows the answer to