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How it Used to Be

When I was younger a few years back, when everything was still the way it used to be, and I lived in my old house with the old tree, before everything changed, I had a trampoline, my brother and I made a cute little song, and I thought it was hilarious at the time, it still doesn't seem like that long ago, but now I've realized how much things have changed. That tree is abandoned along with the house, and the song, doesn't seem too funny anymore. And maybe that's what I mean by wanting to find my old self again, I look up sometimes while I'm on my new trampoline, with the new house and tree. I start to sing the song and feel like I'm back again, they way things used to be, but then I look down and realize nothing is still the same, and I tear up while realizing I can't ever go back to me.



It's weird, I can't look across the street anymore and see my childhood, I see a random house. I don't look inside the window and see my happy parents, I see strangers and a window that seems to be deceiving me, I look inside and I don't see home. I see random things piled up to give me a nice life and everything but I honestly only want one thing, but it's impossible to get and it was left behind. But not any object can compare, for it's not an object. Nothing you can feel with your hands, or see in a picture. It's something I felt in my heart at the time, but didn't realize how important it was. Until now, when I don't see the happiness I used to take for granted yet can feel the emptiness, oh, painfulness in my heart where there used to be joy I never realized. Oh how you don't realize how much you love something until it's gone.




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