I stare down at the festive pink toy duck in my hands, struggling to separate reality from dreaming. The sting of my fingers splinter up and down my arm as I pinch myself forcefully. Yeah, it’s reality. Immediately, my energetic voice fills the classroom. My friend sitting next to me promptly urges me to shut up, but I can’t help it. This is the first valentine I’ve ever gotten from a boy. A hot boy.

My body leaps uncontrollably off of the bus and neighbors look at me like I just came from the mental hospital as I dash home. As soon as I enter my room, I click on random keyboard buttons and my computer jolts to life. Wow, this is really happening, I thought to myself.

My Facebook page unravels cute pictures of animals and whining posts about teachers. I have four new notifications, but my top priority is chatting with only the hottest guy on Earth.


ME: Hey, um, thanx 4 the duck ;)

HIM: I LOVE YOU !!!! I WANT YOU TO BE MY VALENTINE!

ME: Wait, seriously?!?

At this point, my heart is beating as fast as a hummingbird’s and my palms are getting clammier by the second. All I could think about was this guy who supposedly loved me.

HIM: Yes, seriously. I’ve loved you for the longest time. It’s a little ridiculous.

ME: Wait, SERIOUSLY?!?!?!?!

HIM: YES! You’re beautiful. I want you to be mine......my valentine. :)

ME: I’m blushing

HIM: So does this mean we’re together?

ME: I.....I..I guess :)

My heart rate increased dangerously as a sparkle glinted in my eye. For once in my life I felt gorgeous, wanted, loved.

I was so caught up in my fairytale that I almost didn’t notice the cheerful
buh-beep of my next message.

HIM: I don’t actually like you. My friend sent those messages

ME: Then why did you send me a duck?

HIM: That was just to make you happy. I don’t like you. Nope. Goose egg. Nada.

Never. I. Don’t. Like. You. We were never together and never will be. Sorry.

ME: You’ve got to be kidding me! “Sorry” is all you’ve got?

Being the maniac I am, I went crazy. What he didn’t notice was how inevitable me cussing him out was. I conjured up every cuss word and almost broke the keys typing them. Fortunately, I was home alone, so I let my pained cries ring out through the lonesome space in my house.

At first, this experience made me feel worthless. Over a period of time, self esteem sprouted gleefully inside of me and I realized this experience may have been one of the most quintessential times in my life. Don’t let people who belittle you get in your way. All they’re doing is belittling themselves.