Just a Title

March 6, 2013
I know what sisters are supposed to be like towards eachother. We may not always agree on things, take things too far or make things bigger than what they are but we should always put eachother first. We're closer than any best friend we have thru blood. And I treat each one that way. I try my best to set good examples to those below me & I try my best to be there for them all. I make it clear that I'd do so much for them. I'm getting tired of doing it all and not getting back in return. The younger ones I don't expect much from because they're young. I just ask for respect. The older one on the other hand should be much wiser than she appears to be. She has more pressure being the eldest, I get it. But that is no excuse to half ass being a sister to us. It's almost like her life priorities aren't set straight. It worries me seeing her act in such a matter and only makes me wanna help her even more because I genuinely wouldn't want anything to happen to her. But I don't get that care back. I try to prove to her that I will do anything for her by simply being there. I buy her things at a courtesy just because she's my sister but I don't get that back. I have to pay her back if she buys for me or somehow owe her. Instead I get overruled by her friends. People who aren't guaranteed to remain by her side like a sister should. Like I would. But yet I'm still put second to her. At times I feel inhuman to her just because the things I say to her go right thru her and are ignored. She loses interest in my stories quick but is willing to read the popular kids' whom she rarely interacts with drama on social networks. She never seems to get that she's gonna grow up soon and be gone soon, away from a lot more soon and that she should take advantage of the time we have now to spend together, but yet she can go with her "best friend" for a girls day out, not even allowing me to tag along. Her "best friend" who was MIA when times for her got rough and is suddenly back in the picture. I was the one who stood with her trying to mend her sadness, I was the friend that stood up and stuck around. Yet she still thinks her "best friend" deserves more or better so she feels the need to buy it or make that happen. Where's my appreciation? All that I've done, all that I could've but didn't for her, isn't enough for her. I don't get it. I'm just tired of getting used, not getting treated fairly. I know she's my sister and will forever be my sister but for all I can bare, it's just a title. Why should I give her my all cuz I know that's what's right when she doesn't even give that back and more like a big sister should? It shouldn't be this way but I didn't make it this way either, shes the one to blame. Of course I don't expect her to take the blame anyways because she just don't see things like she should. Until then, sister is just a title.

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