Alzheimer’s Disease

My grandpa has Alzheimer’s disease
A disease, that can’t be healed
Who smoked cigarettes all day long

Went home drunk almost every night

And held a gun to my Pa’s head once and near his own wife
He told my Pa to get out and my grandma was about in tears
I was just a little girl but I remember that day all too well

But now my grandma is dead
She died three years ago from cancer
Now my grandpa has Alzheimer’s disease
He can’t remember
But how can I love him?

He’s the same man who helped steal me away three years ago
Away from my Ma for six months or so

If it wouldn’t be for my Ma I would be dead right now
I did not want to be near them I would have rather die

But how can I love someone
Who I don’t believe ever loved me
How can his son say that my grandpa wanted
To see me when he won’t even remember me

Truth is I can’t love him or his family at all
I just love my Ma and her family and my Pa
All though they are separated I love them both just as well…

I go every day not knowing who I
Would run into
I look over my shoulder
When I’m walking out in the streets

I know people who know him and his son whom is my uncle
Does that mean I can trust them as well
I don’t trust a lot of people because of him
I don’t even trust myself sometimes
How can I love him? How can I love that man?
I thought about how I could ever love this man…