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Fifteen and Sixteen

You promised you'd always be there, and I promised I believed you. We were the same. We wanted three kids, but we had to name one Avery, after your baby sister. House, right on the beach, far away from the overdone idea of 'normal'. We were almost exactly a year apart, both July babies, but we wanted our kids to have birthdays during school so they could bring cupcakes to their third grade classes like we always wanted to.

"That means I get to make love to you all summer." You'd smile and wink, and I'd wrap my arms around your neck like you were my lifeline, because I thought you were.

We'd lose track of time talking. Six hours straight (Or was it four? I've forgotten now. It seems so long ago.), right on until three in the morning, but then you'd curse and remind me that I had a test tomorrow and I had better get to sleep because you wanted me to pass. I'd smile into the phone, and we'd whisper "I love you"'s, not even knowing what the words meant. I'd fall asleep wishing my cheek was pressed against your chest instead of a twin sized mattress. Dreaming of your white smile, brown eyes, hair that was always slightly askew, somehow making you even more perfect.

Then, there were those short, sweet months. July and August, the hottest summer I've ever seen, and you know I don't mean by the temperature. My parents didn't like you, so we were always whispering and taking chances, probably more than we should have in many regards. You were mine, I was yours, we wouldn't have it any other way. You wrote your name on the walls of my heart in rose-colored Sharpie marker.

Fall winds came and blew away all of your passion. You've spoken to me once since then, said we couldn't be friends because you'd just fall in love with me all over again. You left me on a yellow park bench, wondering why that would be so terrible.

You promised you'd always be there. You lied. I promised I believed you.

I wish I had lied.




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