Dear Tom,
I've been sad since 7th grade. In 7th grade my mom, my sister, and I got in a car crash.The reason we got in this car crash was because my mom was on narcotics. Almost immediately after my mom went to Abq for Seven months for rehab. This sadness started there. I couldn't handle losing her for seven months so I don't know how I've lasted losing her this long. When she got back she had gained a bit of weight but I didn't care because my mom... she was back home to me. Later that night with her we cried. I cried with her and she cried with me. We watched Finding Nemo. I love that movie. She loves that movie. The night my mom died. I was having a pretty great day. Things were starting to go well. I was getting settled in Maine. I was actually starting to feel better about being happy. That night I was on facebook and my old neighbor messaged me and told me my mom had been taken away in an ambulance. I freaked out and went to tell my dad. He stood up stairs on the phone. When he got off the phone he looked at me with a grave look on his face and so did Linda. They both told me that my mom had passed away. I'm telling you all this now because right now I am in class writing this. I am crying my eyes out while writing this and I feel weak.
I am sad. I am so very sad. You tell me this feeling will pass but it never does. I just put on a smiling face and walk it off. Yes there are times of pure happiness but... it never lasts. It’s quickly replaced by the feeling of depression. Tom I am sad. I am so so sad. Not only that I am alone. I don’t trust anyone. Not even Dale. I don’t know where to go. I don’t know where I am going. Mom was my person I went to so that I could feel safe. When the world seemed like it was against me. She wasn’t. She has always been on my side. She has always helped me through everything. She was the person I felt so safe with. I don’t feel that way with anyone else. I don’t feel safe with anyone else. I just feel alone. I miss her. I miss her so so much Tom. You can’t comprehend how badly I hurt right now. It’s unimaginable.