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A Not So Merry Christmas Story

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The smell of medicine and the snap of rubber gloves to cold a hand was all I could make out as I sat in that small depressing room. I felt time slip out of my grasp as I nervously ran my hands through my hair. I looked at the rest of my family and they all had the same life less expressions on their tear stained faces. I can’t believe all that had happened in the last 24 hours it seemed to unreal. I was so numb to every emotion because I think I over used every single one I had. A heavy silence crept its way over all of us and I began to get lost in my thoughts. Why? Why him? Why now? Why today? Why why why?!
Today is supposed to be the day every little kids countless nights of no sleep is finally going to be paid off. Today is the one day where a fat imaginary man can break into your house and get praised by our society. Today is a day like no other day. Today is Christmas. So if today is Christmas why am in this Hospital. Why does it seem like all the bad things are happening to me? Well that’s because right now I’m pretty sure they are. I asked Santa for a camera not a father with cancer. The squeak of an old door shook me out of my haze
A doctor slowly walked into the waiting room. He read a paper and then spoke

“He has colon cancer but-..” was all I and I am pretty sure everyone else heard come out of the doctors mouth. We were all in total shock that he actually had cancer. Just two days ago we were all sitting around drinking hot coco without a care in the world oblivious of what was to come. I knew that he was going to be fine though. He had always been like such a firm planted rock. He was always like a lion, he was so confident that he knew everything and was so strong. “Visiting hours start now so two people at a time can go visit him” the doctor spoke out. We each picked a buddy and I pick my uncle. I and my uncle went first. We slowly were escorted through a silent narrow hallway. Finally at the end of the hallway we got to my father’s room. I told myself to be cool calm and collected, but when I walked into his room I saw a man connected to so many tubes and needles lying lifelessly on a small uncomfortable hospital bed. His eyes were drooped and there were bags under them. He slowly looked over and I could see the pain and fear in his face. I will never forget the way he looked the first time I visited him.
He reached his hand out slowly like E.T does before he leaves to go home. He touched my arm weakly and said “Merry Christmas Bud.” He looked as if he was going to say more but he didn’t have to I understood perfectly. I tried to respond but I forgot how to talk for a spilt second. Before I could form the words in my mouth he smiled and then turned over to go back to sleep. I felt a flood of tears come to my eyes but I refused to cry. My uncle was speechless but he never ever cried in public so we both were silent the walk back. He walked into the waiting room but I walked right passed it. I couldn’t cry in front of all of them. Not here. Not now. I had to be strong. I just had to be.
I held the tears in until I got into an empty elevator. Once the door closed I broke down. All the emotions all the stress all the hateful words I ever said to my dad I suddenly regretted. Suddenly I understood why you should never take advantage of your family. I understood the meaning of all the words I said to my father. I started to feel so guilty for ever even thinking something bad about my father. You should never take advantage of your family because you never know how long they will be in your life.



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