I feel like I have lived two totally different lives. I know it’s all one, but it feels like two. Honestly, I don’t know which one I would pick if I had a choice.

My “first life” was in Pawtucket, Rhode Island, at 201 Memorial Drive. That life was when Frankie, Allan, and Ruthie came over every weekend, and the biggest problem I faced was fighting over a lava lamp. I didn’t know true sadness. Also, then I always felt Frankie, Allan, and Ruthie would leave, but I had that child-like hope that they wouldn’t.

My “second life” takes place now. Now I’m living in Uxbridge with bunch of true friends who love me, but I don’t feel it. I go home, and I look around and say,” This isn’t home,” but this is home now. I’m happy half the time, but the other half I am so confused. My siblings are gone, and they have been replaced by others.

Now, “my second life,” I watch people I love make bad choices. I am so scared people are going to leave me, but I’m searching for the love I lost, so I risk it. My friends help me through it, but there is always that lingering voice in the back of my mind saying, They are going to leave.

So there it is, the story of my “two” lives. I still don’t know which one I would choose. My biggest question is if I would rather have friends that I am afraid of losing or family I don’t trust. I, honestly, don’t know. Which would you pick?