A cool wind blows over me, so I pull my jacket tighter. I throw the rest of my clothes into the suitcase stopping when his bracelet comes into view. My hands move swiftly grabbing his bracelet. My feet curl from the too-recent memories. My body is still golden from the sun beating down on me only days before, but now it’s frozen in the past. And my mind wanders to what I had this summer, my summer love, but I know that this is over. Then a shiver goes down my spine and I am ashamed for the way I have acted this summer. I knew I shouldn’t have snuck out of my cabin in the late night, shouldn’t have trusted the boy who was just too perfect for me, shouldn’t have stolen those kisses from his smooth lips, and shouldn’t have been so stupid to believe it may be love.
I toss his bracelet into the suitcase and zip it up. I snatch my suitcase and drag it out of the large platform tent. My campers question me and I quickly explain how I am leaving to go ride the bus home. The young girls overwhelm me with pictures and hugs. I thank them all, and wish them the best in the rest of their lives. Some ask for me to put a couple good words in for them to be staff next year. They don't know that I am a bad staff. A staff that snuck out after curfew. A staff that would kiss a sweet boy by the lake each night. I don't want them to know about this so I agree and wish a final farewell as I walk out of my section.
As I travel I drag my suitcase behind me. I can feel the bumps and crevices in the beat dirt path. Friends whish past me wishing me luck at school, see you next years, and even those who just hug me tight. All I can utter to these friends are quick smiles as I continue to trudge through camp with my suitcase. I walk past the waterfront and am awestruck at how beautiful it is. Like every morning the lake is serene and even the tiniest movements are visible. A dark splotch wiggles through the water before bounding off a rock and flying through the air. The splotch is now visible, due to it being above water, and I realize it is a muskrat. Probably the muskrat that scratched at the dock, scaring me silly, when I sat with him on one of those late nights. The trees are still bright green, not yet overtaken by autumn. The windsurf boards rest quietly on the racks and the kayaks are simply waiting to be used. The boathouse is dark and the wood looks perfect in the early sun. The roof looks lonely, like it wants he and I to once again lay under the stars upon the mismatched shingles.
Eventually I convince myself to continue walking and keep glancing back at the lake until it is out of sight. I drag my suitcase up one final hill and reach the bus. I leave my suitcase and head toward the mess hall to grab a couple cookies before I have to start packing the bus for the kids. I stroll onto the back path through the woods. I see the mess hall ahead, but I am suddenly jerked into the woods. I look up to see who would do such a thing. Of course it’s him. He clutches my hand and intertwines our fingers. I start to gaze into his eyes, but my body stays pretty far away from his. He tries to return the gaze , but I simply look down.
"What’s wrong, beautiful?" His perfect voice effortlessly inquires
"I should go, I have to help pack the bus, I shouldn’t be here." My voice quakes and I have to push these words out, because all I want to do it hold myself closer to him. I try to walk away, but he continues to hold onto my hands.
"Please don’t leave. I am going to miss you. Did I do something?"
I can’t hold myself together anymore. I lean onto him and whisper into his ear, "I shouldn’t have snuck out with you at night, and I like you too much. I should have known summer would come to an end and I would be stuck with still wanting you. Now we just have to go our separate ways. It isn’t something you did, just the fact I shouldn’t do this, it isn’t right."
"Whatever you decided to do in the past was the right thing for you to do. I know I am not going to regret you in the future, but look back at these memories with love. Everything can be the same next year. I would never try to hurt you or have you do something that you will regret, I care about you Jillian!"
Once again I look him in the eyes and give him a slight smile. I know he is right and decide saying goodbye won’t be a problem. He smiles back at me, releases my left hand and starts walking. I follow suit and walk alongside as I cling to his right hand. We walk through the cool air and I can smell his cologne. Finally we reach the lake and he leads me to the boathouse where we have escaped to all summer. He walks around to the side and motions for me to climb onto the roof, the same roof we shared our first kiss on only months before. Without question I climb onto the bench and pull myself onto the roof. He follows close behind and simply lies on the roof looking at the sky. I rest my head on his chest and take a deep breath. Rolling on to my side I lay my arm across him. My head angles toward his and I am ready to throw caution to the wind for a moment. He continues to look at the sky for a while and I simply relax into the moment and close my eyes. Soon life will go on, and I will leave this boy, but I will never be the exact same girl. My heart isn’t broken but he now has a tiny piece and I know he will keep it safe.
My eyes slowly open and are meet by his gorgeous eyes already looking at me. I wiggle off of his chest while we continue to stare into each other’s eyes. He shifts so we are at the same level. I grasp onto him tightly as he reaches for my face. As he pulls me closer my eyes close. Like clockwork our lips slightly touch. The kiss quickly becomes more passionate and I feel as though our souls fuse together. His lips glide along my chin and onto my neck. I feel amazing and breath in short staggered breaths. Wheels screech down the hill and he quickly pulls away. He leans in again and we quickly kiss, but I pull away this time.
"Goodbye Babe" I say with high spirits feeling confident in my choices.
"It’s just goodnight and not goodbye." He says as we both start to climb off of the roof.
I rush back to the bus and am questioned on why I am so late, but quickly my persecutors are just glad that I am here now. I start setting luggage in the back of the bus and see my suitcase where his bracelet lies. My hands dig through the suitcase to find his bracelet . My feet are holding all the weight of my body, but I feel so light. My body aches to be held and can almost feel his touch. And my mind wanders to what I had this summer, my summer love, and I know that this was worth it. A shiver goes down my spine and I am proud of the way I acted this summer. I knew I should have taken a couple of risks, should have trusted the boy who was perfect for me, should have stolen those sweet summer kisses, and should believe that it may be love.
I toss his bracelet into the suitcase and zip it up. I snatch my suitcase and drag it out of the large platform tent. My campers question me and I quickly explain how I am leaving to go ride the bus home. The young girls overwhelm me with pictures and hugs. I thank them all, and wish them the best in the rest of their lives. Some ask for me to put a couple good words in for them to be staff next year. They don't know that I am a bad staff. A staff that snuck out after curfew. A staff that would kiss a sweet boy by the lake each night. I don't want them to know about this so I agree and wish a final farewell as I walk out of my section.
As I travel I drag my suitcase behind me. I can feel the bumps and crevices in the beat dirt path. Friends whish past me wishing me luck at school, see you next years, and even those who just hug me tight. All I can utter to these friends are quick smiles as I continue to trudge through camp with my suitcase. I walk past the waterfront and am awestruck at how beautiful it is. Like every morning the lake is serene and even the tiniest movements are visible. A dark splotch wiggles through the water before bounding off a rock and flying through the air. The splotch is now visible, due to it being above water, and I realize it is a muskrat. Probably the muskrat that scratched at the dock, scaring me silly, when I sat with him on one of those late nights. The trees are still bright green, not yet overtaken by autumn. The windsurf boards rest quietly on the racks and the kayaks are simply waiting to be used. The boathouse is dark and the wood looks perfect in the early sun. The roof looks lonely, like it wants he and I to once again lay under the stars upon the mismatched shingles.
Eventually I convince myself to continue walking and keep glancing back at the lake until it is out of sight. I drag my suitcase up one final hill and reach the bus. I leave my suitcase and head toward the mess hall to grab a couple cookies before I have to start packing the bus for the kids. I stroll onto the back path through the woods. I see the mess hall ahead, but I am suddenly jerked into the woods. I look up to see who would do such a thing. Of course it’s him. He clutches my hand and intertwines our fingers. I start to gaze into his eyes, but my body stays pretty far away from his. He tries to return the gaze , but I simply look down.
"What’s wrong, beautiful?" His perfect voice effortlessly inquires
"I should go, I have to help pack the bus, I shouldn’t be here." My voice quakes and I have to push these words out, because all I want to do it hold myself closer to him. I try to walk away, but he continues to hold onto my hands.
"Please don’t leave. I am going to miss you. Did I do something?"
I can’t hold myself together anymore. I lean onto him and whisper into his ear, "I shouldn’t have snuck out with you at night, and I like you too much. I should have known summer would come to an end and I would be stuck with still wanting you. Now we just have to go our separate ways. It isn’t something you did, just the fact I shouldn’t do this, it isn’t right."
"Whatever you decided to do in the past was the right thing for you to do. I know I am not going to regret you in the future, but look back at these memories with love. Everything can be the same next year. I would never try to hurt you or have you do something that you will regret, I care about you Jillian!"
Once again I look him in the eyes and give him a slight smile. I know he is right and decide saying goodbye won’t be a problem. He smiles back at me, releases my left hand and starts walking. I follow suit and walk alongside as I cling to his right hand. We walk through the cool air and I can smell his cologne. Finally we reach the lake and he leads me to the boathouse where we have escaped to all summer. He walks around to the side and motions for me to climb onto the roof, the same roof we shared our first kiss on only months before. Without question I climb onto the bench and pull myself onto the roof. He follows close behind and simply lies on the roof looking at the sky. I rest my head on his chest and take a deep breath. Rolling on to my side I lay my arm across him. My head angles toward his and I am ready to throw caution to the wind for a moment. He continues to look at the sky for a while and I simply relax into the moment and close my eyes. Soon life will go on, and I will leave this boy, but I will never be the exact same girl. My heart isn’t broken but he now has a tiny piece and I know he will keep it safe.
My eyes slowly open and are meet by his gorgeous eyes already looking at me. I wiggle off of his chest while we continue to stare into each other’s eyes. He shifts so we are at the same level. I grasp onto him tightly as he reaches for my face. As he pulls me closer my eyes close. Like clockwork our lips slightly touch. The kiss quickly becomes more passionate and I feel as though our souls fuse together. His lips glide along my chin and onto my neck. I feel amazing and breath in short staggered breaths. Wheels screech down the hill and he quickly pulls away. He leans in again and we quickly kiss, but I pull away this time.
"Goodbye Babe" I say with high spirits feeling confident in my choices.
"It’s just goodnight and not goodbye." He says as we both start to climb off of the roof.
I rush back to the bus and am questioned on why I am so late, but quickly my persecutors are just glad that I am here now. I start setting luggage in the back of the bus and see my suitcase where his bracelet lies. My hands dig through the suitcase to find his bracelet . My feet are holding all the weight of my body, but I feel so light. My body aches to be held and can almost feel his touch. And my mind wanders to what I had this summer, my summer love, and I know that this was worth it. A shiver goes down my spine and I am proud of the way I acted this summer. I knew I should have taken a couple of risks, should have trusted the boy who was perfect for me, should have stolen those sweet summer kisses, and should believe that it may be love.
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