Feline

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Many households do not know what they are living with. The fluffy creatures that roll around in your clothes and play in your shoe boxes do seem cute, but don’t be deceived, cats are madmen. They attack your feet and climb you like a tree. They slap you, throw up, and leave their fur all over your beautiful white carpet; they have no regard for the person who has to clean it. Cats are just nuts.

Oliver is a strange specimen. Most cats are independent and skittish, but no, not this one. Oliver is a cling magnet. He follows you and gets all up in your business. When you’re sleeping, he will lie directly on you neck; when you’re studying, he will lie on top of you’re work; and when your eating, he will stand right beside you and watch you as if he is homeless. But the strange thing is he didn’t used to be like that. As a kitten he was a rebel. He tore a giant hole in my dad’s shirt and managed to break down our screen door. At some point he thought he was a bull riding champ; he would jump on my dog and ride around on top of her, like he was a cowboy. He was fat and lazy; he loved to eat but each and every meal, you had to guide him to his food bowl, even though it hadn’t moved in ten years.

On the other hand, Tigger, is odd. Unlike Oliver, we found him as a stray kitten. Though he should have been thankful for being rescued, he still told everyone who was boss. Tigger does what Tigger wants and if we don’t like it, he’ll let us know. If he does not want you to pet him, he’ll slap you with fierce aggression. He is almost bipolar. You will pet him and he acts like he loves it, but then out of the blue, he will attack and slap you like you’re his slave. When Oliver slaps you, he will give a peaceful slap as if he is giving you all of his heart, a simple gesture as he is happily telling me, “please stop, Miss, and by the way, you look beautiful today.” On the other hand, Tigger does not care about my feelings, Tigger does what Tigger wants. If he feels like being evil, he’ll be evil; if he feels like being nice, he’ll still be evil. He chases and brawls with Oliver and my dog. He will fight for the last scrap, he will win every race, and he will continue to be supreme ruler.

Tigger is orange, has a white chest, and white boots. He is extremely adventurous; he longs to go outside from the moment he wakes up to the moment he lies down. It is strange Tigger is not a big eater because he weighs 15 pounds. Only he was very thin as a kitten and adolescent, but as an adult, he started to let himself go. Oliver, on the other hand, was the complete opposite, weighting 7 pounds. As a baby and adolescent, he was extremely fat. A barrel with legs if you might say, but as he made his way to retirement, his thyroid went out on him and now he eats constantly, without gaining weight. Poor thing…..

Oliver has jet black fur with a white chest and white boots. He has a white spot on his lip a cleft lip. He wears a bright red collar against his silky, smooth fur; it makes him look like a tuxedo cat. Tigger’s fur is coarse and oily. Maybe this is why when they go hunting, Oliver sits and watches Tigger do all of the work, because he doesn’t want to get his paws dirty. Tigger does make up for two cats though. Tigger brings us anything from a mouse to a squirrel. He loves to put them on our doorstep as a gift.

Tigger and Oliver are different in a lot of ways but they have a few similarities. For instance, they both love to lay with us at night, directly on top of us. They will stay there for as long as I lay. They also watch out for us in the neighborhood. When we come home, they can be 10 feet or 10 miles away and they will still come home to greet us. And with them being cats, they are both curious. If we have a new object in the house, they will be the first to scope it out; if there is new food in the house, they will be the first to steal it; and if there is a new person in the house, they will be the first to greet them. Oliver is nicer than Tigger though.

Furry, fuzzy, fluffy, fat and feline, cats are the supreme rulers of the world. Ancients Egyptians worshipped them and people still do today. Little did they know, they were worshipping extremely lethal animals. Watch out. These creatures are nuts.





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