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A Step Worse Than Death...

Growing up, like all little sisters, I revered my older sister, C let’s call her. But at the time I didn’t know she was friendless and lonely. I only saw this cool smart girl who read all the time. So I started to read too. Whenever she would lock herself in her room, I would make a long chain of those “magnetix” things and stick them under her door. Of course, as my luck would have it, she didn’t even look my way. I even got my hair cut the same way and tried to show her, but she didn’t even take the time to look. She broke my heart, but I didn’t give up, because in my mind my sister was a warrior, and I wanted to be one too.

Then she hit eight grade. She got a boyfriend, and she stayed distant. But eventually they broke up and she got another. Her first was boring, this one was a jerk, and he dumped her, but she just got another and this one was pushy and religious. She wound up dumping him. This all happened in 2 years, so was in about 7th grade when we started hanging out. By now I didn’t worship her anymore, but she still was my older sister. She couldn’t drive yet though, so we basically watched YouTube all day, but those are some of my best memories. She was in between boyfriends, it was summer break, and we could just hang.

Next she learned to drive. I loved driving with her. We would talk about music and laugh a lot. It was so much fun. But of course it didn’t last.
She then got her current boyfriend, a nice boy we will call J. C and J hung out all the time, and left no more time for anyone else. He was all C would talk about “Oh he is so funny! So nice! We just fit, you know?” She sounds like a dumb bimbo. When she got a job it got worse. I was promoted from grade school to high school and even at my promotion dinner with the family, she could only talk about J. I didn’t mind that much, until he interrupted our time.

On the rare chance me and C could manage to find time, we would watch our favorite shows, Dance Moms, Awkward, Teen Wolf. It was great. But whenever J called, she would pause our show and leave me to talk to him. I was upset but not too much. But tonight it got worse.
We were watching Teen Wolf and J called so she paused and answered it, like I knew she would. Apparently she had asked him a question and he found it intruding, so they got in an argument, which wound up with her bawling and apologizing. I’m sitting 5 feet away but I might as well be 5 light-years away. He was scolding C, my warrior of a sister through the phone and making her cry. This brought me to one conclusion.

I don’t have an older sister when a boy is in her life.

She changes, and makes herself so brain-numbingly dumb; I don’t even want to share a father with her. Boys make her stupid, and it drives me mad! One minute she is spouting out her on ideas with such passion you would think they have a personal tie with her, but the second a romantic interest come around? Her opinions shape into his. Even with her religious boyfriend, he wants promise rings? She argues with Mom for them. I know this sounds stupid, but C is usually so opinionated, not even god could change her mind. But a teen boy is a completely different thing.

I think if J wanted her to rob a bank she would do it. I just pray he never asks.

So the point I make is this, imagine, the person you look up to suddenly changes into another completely. If they were dead you wouldn’t have to look at them, but you have to look at their face every day knowing the person inside is not the one you love. That is a step worse than death.

Its torture and hell and evil.

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