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I’m not the prettiest girl at school, nor am I the skinniest. But when I was a kid, I never noticed a difference between me and my classmates until one of them put it into perspective for me. I was in the third grade, and we were drawing pictures based on a book we were reading. A girl next to me was goofing off and drew a large penguin. A boy in the class, let’s call him Mark, walked by and said, “Look! It’s a fat penguin, just like you!” and he walked away laughing. I instantly was surrounded by the girls in my class telling me it wasn’t true and that he was a jerk, but part of me had to wonder if he was right. Was I fat? Was I really that different from my peers? From that day on, I have never stopped comparing myself to the skinny, pretty girls in my grade, no matter how badly it would hurt me. From fourth grade on until eighth grade, I was bullied about my weight. Some harsh words were said to my face, and others behind my back. But what hurt the most was when I found out that a close friend of mine was partaking in my harassment. And what made it worse was that she couldn’t bring herself to tell me, but a different friend had to, and I had to pretend like it didn’t bother me when on the inside my heart had been ripped in two. Since then I have had difficulty letting my guard down around my friends because I try so hard to prevent them from bullying me. I know I should be able to trust them, but I thought that if I wasn’t really close with anyone, the bullying wouldn’t hurt so much. Finally, in the ninth grade, after being pushed by my parents, I took control of my life and I got a personal trainer. He is such a good person, and I know that he will never judge me. I finally feel that I can let my guard down.


I have been thinking lately about the topic of bullying lately, and about how many kids are bullied every day. It is a horrible, life-altering thing, and it is something that can scar you forever. I say this because, even though I haven’t been bullied for almost a year, I still remember the dirty looks, the harsh words, and the damaged friendships. Recovering from that isn’t easy, and sometimes it’s impossible. But learning to look ahead and think about how bright my future can be helps a lot. I think of where I want to go to college, what I want to be when I grow up, and I even think about what I want in a future family. I recommend this to any victim of bullying because the only way to turn our backs on the past is to look ahead towards the future.



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This article has 2 comments. Post your own!

KateLA said...
May 2, 2012 at 7:12 pm:
This is very well written. I completely understand not feeling you are able to trust anyone and still have lots of issues with it. I wish I were able to write about what I went through like you do, but even now I'm not ready. This will definitely go in my favorites, 5/5!
 
Maddyw5This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
May 2, 2012 at 10:19 pm :
Thank you so much for your feedback!  It was really hard at first writing this, and I always thought that I was just being a martyr.  But now I know I did the right thing, and I feel that I finally let go of the pain.
 
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