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How Does It Feel To Be Broke?
How does it feel to be broke?
My little sister, mind you-she's only four, came in, and asked me that question. Why does this bring me to tears?
Well, I'm at my dad's house at the moment. I don't live with him, I live with my mom. My mom's not perfect, she doesn't have a job, she's addicted to cifarettes and pepsi. Even more, she's had a few incidents with drugs.
She still manages to support me, and she loves me more than I thought was possible.
Hi, I'm Ricki, and I'm broke.
I visit my dad's every other weekend. I put up with my step-mom and step-sister, so that I can see my daddy, as well as my two sisters whom I adore. I put up with lots of s***, just to be around my loved ones.
Recent events based on money have left my step-sister and I in very different positions on the spoiled scale- me being on the lower half, her on the higher.
I'm broke. She's got around four hundred dollars.
But I'm not going to focus on the things that she has and I don't.
The thing is, my dad's side of my family are going on a trip up to Columbus, so that we can go to this anime con. I ended up not having the money.
I'm broke. My mom has no job. I have no job. My dad won't give me money.
Due to this, I cannot come.
The real beginning of this specific account of heartbreak started with me joking around with my previously mentioned four-year-old sister. I sent her out of the room a couple of times to give my step-sister, the same age of 16 as I am- a hug. Just messing around with her.
And at one point, my FOUR-YEAR-OLD sister comes back, and asks me;
"HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE BROKE?"
I asked her to tell me who had told her to ask me that. After a bit of struggling to get the answer, she says;
So, step-mother, how does it feel to be broke?
It feels terrible. Can't support my money for a ticket to an anime con. Don't really care.
Mom can't do it either.
It sucks, it sucks that not only am I being left out of the trip;
I can't get jeans that fit me. I have to wait months before I get the school supplies I need. There were no presents under my Christmas tree this year. MY MOM'S ABOUT TO LOSE OUR HOUSE.
But none of the pain that I suffer from being broke WILL EVER ACCOUNT FOR THE PAIN YOU'RE GOING TO FEEL WHEN KARMA B**** SLAPS YOU OFF OF A CLIFF.
OR WHEN YOU FIND OUT THAT I COULD RUIN YOUR LIFE IF I WANTED.
TOO BAD THAT I'M ABOVE THAT.
TOO BAD THAT YOU'RE NOT.
IT'S A SHAME THAT A 16-YEAR-OLD IS MORE MATURE THAN YOU WILL, CAN, EVER BE.
THAT'S NOT ALL,
I'm happy. And by the way that you act, you never will be. At least I'm loved.